the stupidest thing ever....


Guest JustAnotherGirl
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Guest JustAnotherGirl
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Okay, okay. I get it. I'll just do what I need to do (talk to bishop etc) when I return from this business trip from hell. I've had to travel a lot for work, but this has certainly been the worst trip ever! Ak! It's just kind of extremely scary not knowing what to expect. I still don't know, but maybe no one does. I'll just have to wait and see.

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Guest jengilbrat

Sorry you have to go tru this, it IS scary. Take comfort in knowing none of us are perfect. You are not the first, or last to have to do it.

I think the unknown you are speaking of is one of that hardest parts.

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Okay, okay. I get it. I'll just do what I need to do (talk to bishop etc) when I return from this business trip from hell. I've had to travel a lot for work, but this has certainly been the worst trip ever! Ak! It's just kind of extremely scary not knowing what to expect. I still don't know, but maybe no one does. I'll just have to wait and see.

Part of the reason it's hard to comment on what you should expect is that disciplinary councils, if you have one, are entirely impossible to predict. My father has told me stories of when he conducted disciplinary councils as a bishop. In one council, he excommunicated a young woman who had gotten pregnant and married the father. In another, he disfellowshipped a young woman who had gotten pregnant but didn't marry the father. In yet another, he felt inspired to tell a married woman who had committed adultery, essentially, go thy way and sin no more (although that did come with a caveat that the Lord wouldn't tolerate much more sin from her after that kind of forgiveness).

So, it's impossible for any of us to know what your bishop will be inspired to do. He won't even know until he receives the inspiration. I can appreciate the fear of stepping into the unknown, but I promise you that stepping into that darkness with full faith that the Lord will lead you through it will be the most inspiring thing you've ever done. And as Alma experienced joy every bit as exquisite as his pain, you too will find exquisite joy on the other side of the darkness.

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Guest JustAnotherGirl
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Part of the reason it's hard to comment on what you should expect is that disciplinary councils, if you have one, are entirely impossible to predict. My father has told me stories of when he conducted disciplinary councils as a bishop. In one council, he excommunicated a young woman who had gotten pregnant and married the father. In another, he disfellowshipped a young woman who had gotten pregnant but didn't marry the father. In yet another, he felt inspired to tell a married woman who had committed adultery, essentially, go thy way and sin no more (although that did come with a caveat that the Lord wouldn't tolerate much more sin from her after that kind of forgiveness).

So, it's impossible for any of us to know what your bishop will be inspired to do. He won't even know until he receives the inspiration. I can appreciate the fear of stepping into the unknown, but I promise you that stepping into that darkness with full faith that the Lord will lead you through it will be the most inspiring thing you've ever done. And as Alma experienced joy every bit as exquisite as his pain, you too will find exquisite joy on the other side of the darkness.

Well, I feel a little bit better now. So probably it will be whatever I need and not some one-size-fits-all type of thing. At least it makes a little bit of sense now.

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Made my appointment with the bishop. Argh.

Either you're stating a level of fear, or it's pirate day again :)

Seriously, a wise move. Sit down with him, lay it all out, get it over with and get your life restarted.

You can do it, you'll find that remarkable release when you're done.

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Made my appointment with the bishop. Argh.

YES!!!! You did it! I'm so happy to hear it. It really is the best thing for you. A relative of mine dug in their heels about seeing the bishop and felt way too humiliated, but as it got closer, they were actually excited to talk to him and finally rid themselves of that burden.

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Guest JustAnotherGirl
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Ya, I'm scared, and I figured I will probably be too scared to talk. So I just wrote it down. Kept it simple and to the point. If he has any questions, he can always ask. :P

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Guest JustAnotherGirl
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Update:

I won't tell you all the total outcome, because it is probably different for everyone. I did learn, however, that you should be wary of listening to some of the well meaning "advice" given on this forum. My bishop told me I did not have to tell my husband about this situation. It's a good thing, because I didn't feel like I should anyway. Not because I am only thinking of myself, as was implied by some. But because contrary to what some may believe, it would totally crush my husband. And I really tried not to get into this situation. I told the man to please not come and see me. He did anyway. I told him again two more times that I can't see him. But then he told me we wouldn't have sex and so I just went down to see him. Bad mistake. I'm glad the bishop didn't tell me about how selfish I was. Because although I may seem so to some, it just isn't the case. It must be difficult to understand the situation by many. Including me.

I'm very glad the bishop told me I didn't need to tell my husband. Exactly what I felt.

Things turned out just the way they were supposed to, as far as the bishop appointment went. I didn't know what to expect. It was scary. But I figured it would turn out the way it should (whatever that was to be), and it did.

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Guest JustAnotherGirl
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Maybe I will tell you the outcome. For me, it is no action. And I told my bishop more than the forum. I can go to the temple. With the Spirit, he could understand the situation better than even I could. I thought my life was over. I was wrong.

But seriously, everyone's situation is different. A different person will probably have a different outcome.

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Update:

I won't tell you all the total outcome, because it is probably different for everyone. I did learn, however, that you should be wary of listening to some of the well meaning "advice" given on this forum. My bishop told me I did not have to tell my husband about this situation. It's a good thing, because I didn't feel like I should anyway. Not because I am only thinking of myself, as was implied by some. But because contrary to what some may believe, it would totally crush my husband. And I really tried not to get into this situation. I told the man to please not come and see me. He did anyway. I told him again two more times that I can't see him. But then he told me we wouldn't have sex and so I just went down to see him. Bad mistake. I'm glad the bishop didn't tell me about how selfish I was. Because although I may seem so to some, it just isn't the case. It must be difficult to understand the situation by many. Including me.

I'm very glad the bishop told me I didn't need to tell my husband. Exactly what I felt.

Things turned out just the way they were supposed to, as far as the bishop appointment went. I didn't know what to expect. It was scary. But I figured it would turn out the way it should (whatever that was to be), and it did.

So what you did was take what the forum said, spoke to your Bishop, thought and pondered about all of it and came up with what you felt was the right thing to do. You gathered all the advice and independently applied what was correct for your situation. In other words, you used your brain and didn't deffer to others. You got no argument from me. Even though I may not agree 100% with you, I have to remember that I'm not in your shoe, I do not know you nor your husband nor do I know 100% your situation. I can only thank you for listening to our advice and taking it upon yourself to make as wise a decision you can at this moment.

In all seriousness, I tip my hat off to you and truly hope it all works out.

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You must be relieved, but that's a pretty unusual outcome.

I wouldn't be surprised if it is unusual. I was totally taken by surprise.

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Guest JustAnotherGirl
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So what you did was take what the forum said, spoke to your Bishop, thought and pondered about all of it and came up with what you felt was the right thing to do. You gathered all the advice and independently applied what was correct for your situation. In other words, you used your brain and didn't deffer to others. You got no argument from me. Even though I may not agree 100% with you, I have to remember that I'm not in your shoe, I do not know you nor your husband nor do I know 100% your situation. I can only thank you for listening to our advice and taking it upon yourself to make as wise a decision you can at this moment.

In all seriousness, I tip my hat off to you and truly hope it all works out.

Thank you :) I think it will. I may need to get another job, though so that dude doesn't find me. He is very persistent. But I haven't heard from him since that day 2 weeks ago that I wish I could take back. :)

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Thank you :) I think it will. I may need to get another job, though so that dude doesn't find me. He is very persistent. But I haven't heard from him since that day 2 weeks ago that I wish I could take back. :)

Or since you said NO! you can lay a sexual harassment complaint against him. Although I'm not sure if that will make it any better for you. A new job, environment and starting over may be healthy and helpful.

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Guest JustAnotherGirl
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Ya, I said no plenty of times, but I eventually caved. So it is my fault. :P. But ya, I think a new environment would probably be good. :)

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