wanting a little perspective.


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You go girl , go date and see whats out there , whos out there, talk and mingle, learn and grow. Its your life. However theres a lot of risks. Follow the spirit is what i have to say. If your guts says no and the spirit jumped out the window.... you should have followed it. Its hard since you have standards that some may not agree with , that might make it hard , but you can also shine at the same time. God works in mysterious ways, sometimes through online dating , sometimes its someone in the church , or its a non member. If you know your goals , your heavenly fathers goal ,and the person your dating knows those goals, and loves you , wants you to have that..... oh wait , were talking about dating. I was about to lead into temple marriage. Date whoever and however, try whatever. Just know your worth, your limits and what happiness truly is.... truly. Dont feel stuck. My guess is you make good choices and you know how to CTR. You think you have a dry pool.... wait til youre married.... I mean , there wouldnt be a need.

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Guest Alana

The main problem I see with online dating, which I've done, is that the reality of what a person is like face to face if different than what they seem like online. Even when someone is totally honest online, you're forming an idea of who/what they are based on limited information. When you interact with someone in 'real life' you see how they react to things in a more real way. On the phone and online it's extremely easy to only put out the best about you and to assume the best in others. Someone can make a comment and it can be a very telling and important piece of information about them, but you might just see it as a bit of online banter.

Basically, if you're going to use online dating tools to meet people, make sure it's someone who you can meet in real life shortly after. Real life is less scripted. You go out with someone and someone is rude to you guys, you can see how they really react instead of them just saying online "I'm a pretty mellow person."

As far as dating someone who isn't a member of the church, I don't see a problem with that automatically but the comment 'playing with fire', as dramatic as it is, does have something going for it. If you marry someone civilly and then wait the year to go to the temple, you are leaving the decision of if YOU can go in someone else hands. My mom (step mom) dated my dad (non-member) and he got baptized, and they got married a month later. A year after that we were all sealed and it was awesome. I on the other hand dated a member and we were going to go to the temple after. Fast forward 7 years and 3 kids, I want so desperately for my family to be sealed together, but it's out of my hands because my husband is now inactive.

I know many wonderful stories of people introducing the church to their spouses and they got married and went to the temple. There are also many stories of heartbreak and longing because things didn't turn out how they planned. Satan along with the natural man will do a lot to stop our eternal progression. You need to know yourself, know if you're able to get to know someone without getting too serious to see if you can date while they perhaps investigate the church. Some of us are blessed with pretty direct answers for prayers to go for it, and others are not. At least if everyone in your ward is freaking out you know it's because even if they can be a tad bit tactless, they really do want the best for you.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 7 months later...

It depends, you did mention that you weren't specifically looking to get married right at the present moment... what's the harm in dating a non-member as long as you uphold to your standards, and he is aware and respects what your standards are?

I guess the worry of some people with dating non-members is that they may get too involved in their relationship, and do something that is not within their standards, or stop attending Church as much because of the influence of their new partner.

But I think if you stay strong in your beliefs and standards, and the person you date respects that, then there is nothing wrong with it. There are many cases when people have dated non-members, and in the end their partner joins the Church and they get married in the Temple together. :)

With the online dating, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. There are online LDS dating sites, which can be even better for members so they can find someone with the same beliefs and standards as they do! Also, it can be an advantage for members who live in small towns or far out in the country where there would be small wards in the Church and less people to meet and date.

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  • 3 months later...

I would take a decent non-member lightyears before a dirtbag with a recommend. To settle for scum would be far more damaging for me and whatever children are spawned from such an unworthy man. A non-member spouse would also cause some grief, but there's a pinch more hope and the existence of genuine love. I guess in this situation being an old maid would be ideal?

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