"Having a Heart" as a Visiting Teacher

[JudoMinja]

I have been asked to give a talk on the topic "Having a Heart" as a Visiting Teacher. While I plan on digging up information in the scriptures and on lds.org, I would like to hear what others here have to say on the topic as well. I have very little personal experience with visiting teaching. When I was old enough to move into Relief Society, I was paired with my mother for a visiting teaching partner, and she pretty much handled everything- I was just along for the ride really. Then, I went to college and became inactive. I then went through a period of repentance in which I was not allowed to visit teach. It has been about a year since I completed that repentance process, and I'm still trying to get myself into the habit of visiting teaching, so I haven't done a very good job of it.

I just moved into a new ward, and I was given a calling as a Visiting Teaching Supervisor before my records even transferred into the ward. This talk is to be given at the Visiting Teaching conference later this month. I have been informed that visiting teaching has been extremely low in this ward, and the topic of the Relief Society activity (the conference) is a surprise, in the attempt to get sisters to come who otherwise would not. Clearly, the Lord has something important in mind for me here, and I want to make sure that this talk is well prepared. I do not want to feel like I am pushing these sisters to do better about their visiting teaching when I have not done well with it myself, but I am certain this calling was given to me to help me improve, and to help the sisters of my new ward as well.

So, if anyone here has something they can share on this topic, please do so. I will be giving this much prayer and thought as I strive to prepare a talk that will inspire my new ward sisters.

[slamjet]

I've not had a home teacher in a decade so not much I can add. But I'm sure you have experiences where someone put out a hand of friendship to you. It seems to me that visiting teaching is less about checking up on people than to reach out the arm of fellowship and comfort in this troubling world of ours. So I would surmise it's an extension of the fellowship we give each other in church.

Just thinking out loud.

[classylady]

My own perspective is that the sisters already know they should be doing their visiting teaching. I would focus more on the "why" we visit teach, and the benefits of visiting teaching. I don't know if you have any personal, positive examples you can relate in your talk.

My best friends in my ward are either my visiting teachers, past visiting teachers, or partners I've been paired with in visiting teaching. I think women bond with each other over the course of months of visiting each other, even when nothing significant or traumatic has happened.

[rameumptom]

I think you need to focus on this concept from Pres Packer: teaching doctrine is more important than teaching behavior. If you teach the doctrine, it will change behavior quicker than if you just taught the new behavior.

So, Relief Society is the key auxiliary arm of the Melchizedek Priesthood. The keys of the Melchizedek Priesthood are the Fullness of the Gospel and the Mystery of Godliness (D&C 84:19). This is extremely important for us to understand.

The keys of the AP are ministry of angels, gospel of repentance and baptism (D&C 13). The Bishop, who holds the keys in the ward for the AP is focused on things terrestrial or the outward ordinances. This priesthood and its keys bring people into the presence of angels, or the terrestrial kingdom - preparing them for the celestial kingdom and the presence of God. Note that baptism by water is not the entrance into the celestial kingdom, but baptism by water AND the Holy Spirit (a MP ordinance). Why? Because the Holy Ghost is a member of the Godhead, and we enter into his presence when he becomes our constant companion.

The Goal of the Melchizedek Priesthood is to bring people into the presence of God. That was Moses' goal at Mt Sinai, but the people refused to ascend the mount to see God, and so the MP was taken from them, and they were left with the AP and its keys (D&C 84:19-27).

As the right arm of the MP, the Relief Society's main purpose is to help families and sisters to prepare to enter into God's presence. This symbolically occurs in the temple, where we practice ascending through the heavens and into the celestial room/kingdom in God's presence.

Our greatest spiritual goal is to get all families into God's presence, where they can experience the blessings that come from the keys of the MP.

To accomplish this, we need to develop a Christ-like love or charity for those whom we serve. The RS needs to lovingly reach out to the sisters and families in the ward, even as Christ reached out to the sick and afflicted of his day. While you may not be able to restore sight to the physically blind, you can give insight to the spiritually blind. You can feed a family physically and spiritually.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs shows that before you can teach a person self-actualization you will have to ensure other needs are taken care of first. If a person is starving or lonely, they may not be ready to listen about the gospel or going to the temple. So, we often first help the bishop with the basic outward needs first of the AP keys. Once those needs are met, the sister/family is ready to learn of spiritual things and the temple ordinances.

Teaching them not only about the importance of the Holy Ghost, but also how to have Him as a constant companion is extremely important. They must receive their own revelation and inspiration, and recognize it when it comes. It radically changes people (see Mosiah 5:1-5, Alma 36). I've seen the Holy Ghost change a man from the town drunk to one of the more respected business owners in that same town within 2 years. This happens when people get used to continually living in the presence of a member of the Godhead.

When we bring the Spirit of Christ and love into a home, it filters into their lives as well. It lifts them, if only for a few minutes. To the family, a truly spiritual visiting/home teacher will seem like a guardian angel sent from heaven. This teacher will bring miracles with him/her. This teacher will bring inspired messages and counsel. This teacher will pray deeply and sincerely with them and for them. This teacher will challenge them: read the Book of Mormon, attend Church, do genealogy research, pray with your family, prepare to take your loved ones to the temple of the Lord and be sealed together in the presence of God.

Pres Packer recently noted that we have successfully distributed the authority of the Melchizedek priesthood throughout the world, but not the power.

The Power of the Priesthood

Study this talk, it is excellent and applies as much to the Relief Society as to the MP. The RS must help to distribute the power of the priesthood to all members. While the RS cannot perform ordinances (except certain ones within the temple), they can receive revelation, perform miracles, and show Christ-like love and power to those whom they serve. They have most of the rights and power of the Melchizedek Priesthood, because they have received the ordinances of salvation, received the Gift of the Holy Ghost as a constant companion, and have made eternal covenants in the temple.

With this type of calling, expectation, and opportunity to not only love the sisters, but to raise them up, heal them, and bring them into the presence of God in the temple, they should look upon this as one of the most important callings of all.

[Connie]

Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching: A Work of Ministering - Ensign March 2011

[Madriglace]

The Relief Society birthday is next week ... do some reading on the early Releif Society ... those sisters where amazing and knew what having a heart meant.

[stormwitch]

Visiting teaching and home teaching are in vain if you do not do it with all your heart. And sometimes the best lesson are not given verbally but by doing.

Two examples... 2 weeks before our family were moving away from our ward, my visiting teachers asked me whether they could visit me. I told them that I would be very busy packing everything in boxes, but that they were welcome to help. Their answer was: well, we better won't disturb you doing what you need to do. THANKS, sisters!!!!.....

One day I was taking old wallpaper down from the walls of our living room, as my husband and I had planned to redecorate the room the following day. It was difficult for me climbing up and down the ladder all the time. Suddenly someone was ringing the bell. When I opended the door, our home teachers were standing there, in suits, really neat. I told them, that there was no room to sit down as the living room was a mess due to my task. Well, they took of their jackets, and helped me getting down the wallpaper (one was so tall that he didn't need teh ladder!!). While we were working together they delivered their message and I was done much faster than I had expected. This is my perfect example of home teaching. Thanks, brothers, I'll love you forever for this lesson!

[jayanna]

I had a very heartfelt moment with visit teaching this last week. I do not have a VT partner, and haven't for several years, due to the fact that we are spread so thin in this area.

There is a new sister in our ward, she and her husband moved here from another area. Well, she has been considering doing something really bad. Something that could end her marriage, and possibly get her into trouble and have a disciplinary hearing. The last time I had visited her, she had told me about those thoughts she was having, and why she though it was a reasonable thing to do. She and her husband had grown distant, they had never been sealed. Their situation looked pretty dismal.

I struggled so much with this. If she is doing something wrong, it is up to her to repent, but she hadn't done anything yet. So I decided to try to help her, but how? I fasted and prayed, and got a blessing...and spoke with the RS pres. very confidentially on what to do. I felt like I was in over my head, and I didn't know what church policies were concerning the proper action on my part. After speaking with her, I knew that she needed help and that she needed to speak with the Bishop, but how could I convince her to see him? She had confided in her VT in her last ward and felt judged and hated, and they moved away as soon as they could. I didn't want her to move away from being helped.

I considered printing off a talk and giving it to her to read about how bad the action she was considering would be, about the possible disciplinary consequences. I was so divided on what to do. I went to visit her again during the week, and I followed my promptings from there. I gave her a smile, and asked if we could begin with a word of prayer. I told her how glad I am that she moved into our ward. I told her how much her heavenly father loves her. I told her how very precious she is, and that she is cared for and wanted. I told her that my role was to help make her life better, not miserable. I told her that I cared for her and wanted her relationship with her Heavenly Father to be strengthened. I told her that she was lucky to have a husband that has worked so hard to care for her, and that, if she was willing to work for it, she could be sealed for time and eternity in the House of the Lord. I had researched what steps she would need to do this, so I could describe to her the steps she needed to take to accompish this. She needed hope. She needed something to reach upward for, she needed a reason to love again.

She told me she had decided not to take part in the action she was considering. She made an appointment with the Bishop this Sunday. I don't know what was said, or anything, but when she walked out of his office they were both happy, and she thanked him. :)

[JudoMinja]

Ok. Here's what I've thrown together so far. Our meeting has a "Wizard of Oz" theme- hence the reference to the Tinman. I'm going to step away from this for a couple days and then read it with fresh eyes to determine whether or not I need to do any tweaking or changing. Let me know what you guys think as well- if there's anything I can use to add more substance to it:

“Having a Heart”

When the tin-man joined Dorothy on her quest to find the Wizard of Oz, he hoped to be given a heart. At the end of his journey, he found his selfless acts of service and compassion were evidence of the heart he already had. He did not need anyone to give him one. Can others see the evidence of the hearts within our own breasts? Are we giving selfless compassionate service to those around us? Visiting teaching was designed to help us do just that.

Often, we find ourselves letting visiting teaching fall to the wayside, not realizing just how important it really is. I myself have been prone to the many excuses I’m sure we’ve all used-

I’m too busy, or the sisters I’m assigned are too busy.

There is no service I can do these sister’s anyway. They never need my help.

The sister’s I’m assigned to visit don’t want me to come to their home, so why bother?

Arranging times to visit with my partner is too difficult and time consuming.

Do we realize just how small and petty these excuses sound? Visiting teaching is not a chore or a task. It is not a goal or a number. It is not a burden. Visiting teaching is service. Through visiting teaching, we are able to fulfill our baptismal covenants to “bear one another’s burdens, mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:8-9). Visiting teaching was designed so that we could be the tools through which Christ himself could reach out to those in need and lift them up.

While making a monthly “check-up” to share the visiting teaching message is enough to mark a check on a to-do list, to look at visiting teaching in such away removes the heart from the labor. And when the heart is removed, the whole effort is dead.

The visiting teaching program is an ingenious design to give every sister the opportunity to serve and care for one another. As members of the church, we are each on a journey toward perfection, a journey to become more Christ-like. In the hymn, A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief, the singer finds opportunities to serve by helping a hungry, thirsty, homeless, wounded, and prison-bound traveler. While we can serve in this manner, we need not trouble ourselves with seeking out such individuals- especially in these times where service of that manner could put us in harms way- when a list of names is placed within our very hands. This list is not something to take lightly. These are sisters that the Lord has entrusted into our care- sisters whom he expects us to offer compassionate and loving service.

When we are given that list of names, we are not being asked to simply read them a message every month. We are being asked to put our heart into an effort of service. “The purposes of visiting teaching are to build caring relationships with each sister and to offer support, comfort, and friendship. In visiting teaching, both the giver and the receiver are blessed and strengthened in their Church activity by their caring concern for one another.” (Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2: Priesthood and Auxiliary Leaders (1998), 202)

If we are to give into our excuses and forget about visiting teaching, we could never share wonderful experiences such as the one here-

“I remember more than 30 years ago when I was first called to be a visiting teacher, I was assigned a young woman who never came to church,” recalls Catherine Carr Humphrey of the Hillside Ward, Rancho Cucamonga California Stake. “She impressed me in those early 1970s as a hippie type. I faithfully went every month and knocked on her door. She would open the inside door but leave the screen door shut. I was never really sure what she looked like. She would not say anything. She would just stand there. I would look cheerful and say, ‘Hi, I’m Cathie, your visiting teacher.’ And as she would say nothing, I would say, ‘Well, our lesson today is on …’ and try briefly to say something uplifting and friendly. When I was through, she would say, ‘Thank you,’ and shut the door.

“I did not like going there. I felt embarrassed. But I went because I wanted to be obedient. After about seven or eight months of this, I got a phone call from the bishop.

“‘Cathie,’ he said, ‘the young woman you visit teach just had a baby who lived only a few days. She and her husband are going to have a graveside service, and she asked me to see if you would come and be there with her. She said you are her only friend.’

“I went to the cemetery. The young woman, her husband, the bishop, and I were at the graveside. That was all. I had seen her only once a month for a few minutes at a time. I hadn’t even been able to tell through the screen door that she was expecting a baby, yet even my inept but hopeful visiting had blessed us both.” (Liahona, Dec 2004)

Surely, Cathie must have felt that the task before her was hard. This sister never even allowed her to enter her home. Yet, she continued to make monthly visits and did not give up on her calling. Had she given up, this woman would have been left comfortless in her time of need.

President Gordon B. Hinckley explains: “We have some of our own who cry out in pain and suffering and loneliness and fear. Ours is a great and solemn duty to reach out and help them, to lift them, to feed them if they are hungry, to nurture their spirits if they thirst for truth and righteousness.” (Ensign, Nov 1996)

When serving with our whole hearts, we do not need to become stuck in the rigidity of tradition. Visiting teaching does not have to follow any specific format. Think creatively and flexibly when scheduling your visits. Perhaps, you and your partner will not be able to visit all of your sisters together. You could instead, take turns making visits or split up the visits based on who has a schedule more closely aligned with a particular sister who may be difficult to get a hold of. Remember that visiting teaching is an opportunity to strengthen and uplift others in the gospel. To do this, one must build a connection which will create a system of sisters ready to call on one another and rely on one another in times of crisis.

“Not long ago I visited with a group of women in Anchorage, Alaska. There were about 12 women in the room, and 6 more joined by speakerphone from cities and towns all over Alaska. Many of these women lived hundreds of miles away from the Church building. These women taught me about visiting teaching.

To make a personal visit to all of the sisters would require an airplane ride, travel by boat, or traveling very long distances by car. Obviously, the time and expense made in-home visits impossible. However, these sisters felt closely connected because they were fervently praying for one another and were seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit to know what their sisters needed, even though they weren’t there in person very often. They managed to stay in contact by phone, by Internet, and by mail. They served with love because they had made covenants with the Lord and desired to bless and strengthen their sisters.” (Barbara Thompson, Ensign, Nov 2010)

About two-years ago, I was blessed to have a visiting teacher that took up her call of service. She never read me a visiting teaching message, never made an appointment to come visit me, but she was always there when I needed her. She introduced herself to me at church and offered to give me a ride home- as I had no vehicle at the time and had taken the bus to church. On the ride home, she gave me her number and offered to be my “wheels” whenever I needed to go somewhere. In the time that she was my visiting teacher she gave me rides to the store, the bishop’s storehouse, to ob appointments, a job interview, a visit with friends, and to (and from) the hospital when I went into labor. Without her selfless service, this time in my life would have been much more difficult. She was a blessing to me, and I know that she was the Lord’s hand reaching out to me in my time of crisis.

Sister’s, we know what to Lord has asked us to do. We have the papers in our hands with names, addresses, and phone numbers. It could not be any easier. The Prophet cannot see to the needs of all these individual sisters personally. We are to be his hands, the LORD’s hands, going out to meet the physical and spiritual needs of these sisters entrusted to our care. He would not ask us to do this, would not trust us with such an important task, if we were not capable of doing it. If we do not have big glorious experiences when visiting our sisters, do not fret- for it is by “small and simple things [that] great things [are] brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). These names within our hands are the names of sisters the Lord believes we are capable of helping, be it physically, spiritually, in a small way, or a big way. Visiting teaching is so much more than monthly “check-ups”. It is the heart and soul of Relief Society and a wonderful tool for the uplifting and betterment of the Saints. When we visit teach, we are on the Lord’s errand.