Convert Sealing Question


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Hi there,

I'm new to this board and haven't been able to find an answer to this question by searching online. I guess I'm a little embarrassed to ask but some insight would be appreciated.

Here's the story,

I am a convert, I've been a member of the LDS church for 2 years this April. My husband whom i've been married to for just over 1 year grew up in the church and his family have always been members of the church. My family is not members and my husband is really my only link to the LDS church. My husbands parents JUST were sealed in the temple, they weren't previously sealed because my father-in-law was not willing to make the commitment of preparing himself for the temple. Now that my in-laws are sealed, they would like my husband to be sealed to them as their child. I should clarify that my husband and I have not yet been sealed in the temple. Honestly, as a new member, I just reached the time that I could apply for a recommend but I am just not ready yet.

Now here's my big question, if my husband is only sealed to his parents... where does that leave me? I guess i'm just a little perplexed to the whole, my adult- married husband being sealed to his parents, it honestly is really weird to me.

Any responses are welcome, I'm just trying to understand this whole thing as someone who is new to the church.

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Now here's my big question, if my husband is only sealed to his parents... where does that leave me? I guess i'm just a little perplexed to the whole, my adult- married husband being sealed to his parents, it honestly is really weird to me.

His sealing or lack of one to his parents does nothing to change your status. Only you and your husband getting sealed together can do that.

A child being sealed to their parents do not make any oaths or promises.

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Now here's my big question, if my husband is only sealed to his parents... where does that leave me? I guess i'm just a little perplexed to the whole, my adult- married husband being sealed to his parents, it honestly is really weird to me.

Why is it weird?* If his parents had been sealed before he was born he'd have been Born in the Covenant and basically automatically sealed to them. Which would also leave you in the same situation, him sealed to his parents and you not sealed to him.

* Not trying to be smary but without knowing why you find it weird it is pretty much impossible to address.

Edited by Dravin
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Here's my reasoning in the "weird" aspect, I don't mean this negatively. It's just that considering my family is not of the LDS church and will not be sealed together in this sense, it's hard for me to put my mind around my husband being sealed to his parents and me being sealed to him (in the future) and then you add on when we have children and them being sealed to their spouses in the future...etc. It just seems I am leaving out my family who are all really great people but they are strict Lutheran. . . Hope that clears up the "weird" comment, I guess it just seems like an endless chain with a huge part of who I am being left out.

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Here's my reasoning in the "weird" aspect, I don't mean this negatively. It's just that considering my family is not of the LDS church and will not be sealed together in this sense, it's hard for me to put my mind around my husband being sealed to his parents and me being sealed to him (in the future) and then you add on when we have children and them being sealed to their spouses in the future...etc. It just seems I am leaving out my family who are all really great people but they are strict Lutheran. . . Hope that clears up the "weird" comment, I guess it just seems like an endless chain with a huge part of who I am being left out.

That's where missionary work and work for the dead comes in.

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Your family may not be sealed to you in this life. But, there is missionary work for the dead. A missionary explained to me that my family can receive the same covenants after death as in life. They have to accept them and someone here has to do Temple work. From my understanding, after your parents pass, you can be sealed to them as well.

I know what you mean. I'm an "only" convert in my family as well. I often feel a bit off balance. At least you have your husband. I am single.

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Here's my reasoning in the "weird" aspect, I don't mean this negatively. It's just that considering my family is not of the LDS church and will not be sealed together in this sense, it's hard for me to put my mind around my husband being sealed to his parents and me being sealed to him (in the future) and then you add on when we have children and them being sealed to their spouses in the future...etc. It just seems I am leaving out my family who are all really great people but they are strict Lutheran. . . Hope that clears up the "weird" comment, I guess it just seems like an endless chain with a huge part of who I am being left out.

Nobody will be left out. We believe that missionary work goes on in the life after this one. That is why we do proxy work for the dead in the temple...baptisms, sealings, etc. Genealogy is an important part of this work.

If your parents and family do not hear and accept the gospel in this life that doesn't mean they won't in the next. They will have the opportunity in the next life and you can have their work done later if you wish and be sealed to them too. If you and your husband become endowed then you can be proxy for your parents if you choose to. Sealings are done AFTER baptism for the dead and then the endowment for the dead. Every person goes through the same process. If they have passed on we do the whole for them and they will the opportunity to accept or not.

My husband and I are on a sealing team. We spend time in the temple every other week with 3 other couples doing sealings of husbands to wives or if you prefer wives to husbands, and children to parents. Lately some of the people we've been proxy for lived in the 15th and 16th centuries.

There is one thing that concerns me. It is my understanding that adult children (over the age of 18) who are alive and are going to be sealed to living parents need to have done their own endowment prior to the sealing.

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You have read several explanations of the mechanics of sealing and they are accurate. However, implied in your question is whether you were going to be left out or somehow disenfranchised because of your doubts. I wouldn't worry about it. There is time. You will be just fine. Doubt is just a manifestation of lack of faith and we all suffer from it from time to time. You are in good company. The question all of us have to answer is how to get beyond that point.

If I may, faith is found in living the principles of the gospel. It is in practicing true principles that we discover their value and thus gain a testimony. If you want to gain a testimony of tithing, pay it. The same goes for prayer or reading scripture or any other principle of the gospel. You get a testimony by doing it. With your testimony of these things comes the faith needed to make the commitments you are are hesitant about. Most importantly though is just take it easy. Do these things one at a time or as you feel comfortable. The timing is not as important as the doing.

You will find that as you get a testimony you will want to do more. Sometimes it is just the first few steps that seem like climbing a mountain. If your heart is right, that is you don't try to live a worldly life too, and you keep at it, things will take on a life of their own and in no time you will be anxious to get on with it. The process of obtaining a testimony is like visiting your dearest old friend. You hate to be separated and you want to be with them and do more things with them. Soon, your testimony becomes like your family and you can't imagine what it would be like with out it. At that point going to the temple is like going to your favorite grandparents house - you can't wait. Your current sense of feeling ill at ease will be replaced with a sense of peace and fulfillment like you may never have felt before.

Edited by jlf9999
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There is not to much for you to worry about at this point applepansy is correct that living children over the age of 18 (it sometimes gets stretched a bit) would need to recieved their own endowment before they could be sealed to their parents. Which would probably mean that you would be going as a couple before he was sealed to them.

I attended a sealing just last month where the nearly 20 yr old daughter was sealed to her parents but there were questions from many in the group as to when that had changed. I have never heard of a living child that old being sealed to their parents but not yet endowed. My brother and I were sealed to our parents as young children ... we (our family) were the only ones in the Cardston temple that day (huge snow storm). I can still remember it clearly after 50 years.

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