Seriousness of masturbation?

[prophetofdoom]

Talk to the Bishop. He is your local judge in Israel and will be able to discern your situation. Masturbation isn't a grievous sin, but, it can effect the way your feel about yourself and can make it harder for the Spirit to dwell with you. It is important to feel fully confident in your worthiness before God.

Part of our test down here on Earth is to learn how to control our bodies. Changing your thinking is key to you overcoming your problem. Immerse yourself in the scriptures, prayer, and spiritual music. This will help put good things into your mind. The world is going to tell you that it is okay... they are going to say, "What is the big deal? Everyone Does it..." The problem is... they say that about almost all sexual sin now...

[Echo2002]

I strongly disagree. I would NEVER have my daughter talk behind closed doors with one man about her sexual feelings and actions. Certain things as well as accusations can and have happened with very poor outcomes in the church.

If you are worried about that happening, maybe you could go with your daughter to meet with the Bishop if it ever arises.

We actually had a member of the Bishopric rape a young woman several years ago. It really divided the congregation because so many people didn't believe he could do something like that. It was a case where he let himself get too emotionally involved with the girl, of course it didn't help that she flirted with him a lot, but he was old enough to know better. I kind of place some blame on the parents for not seeing that he was spending way too much time with her by picking her up from school and buying her a cell phone, but they trusted him because he was in the Bishopric.

[serenity123]

My feelings are that you can keep it between you and the Lord. Try to stop and repent when you do, if you feel it is a sin. I don't think it needs to be brought up with the Bishop.

[Lossie_Bear]

First, I think it was very brave of you to post this. Many people have these problems and keep them to themselves. It's a very healthy thing that you can talk about it openly. Hiding something like this is like not tending to a wound, when you don't treat it or pretend it's not there it festers and becomes a horrible ugly thing you deal with alone.

I wouldn't broadcast it to everyone you know, but posting here among friends and those that care was a very good choice.

What I have to say is that if you feel in your heart that you are alright to handle this then I say that you repent and move on. But! If there is any doubt, ANY doubt, in your heart that it's something that may reoccur or may be a problem you can't handle alone- your Bishop is there to help you, not to judge you.

Whenever there is question-Pray. It will help you feel better about the situation and I know you'll receive an answer that will be right for you.

Thank you for being humble enough to share with us. Believe me, no one is without sin.

[HEthePrimate]

If you feel the need for someone else's help, by all means talk to your bishop. Or a counselor. Or just a friend.

If it's something you feel you can handle on your own, try that.

If you think it's a sin, then do what you feel is necessary. If not, then act accordingly.

The Church does not seem to have a clear position on masturbation, so I see some flexibility there. Sooner or later, we all have to make decisions about what we believe, or decide to simply believe what we're told by others.

Peace to you.

[pam]

The Church does not seem to have a clear position on masturbation, so I see some flexibility there. Sooner or later, we all have to make decisions about what we believe, or decide to simply believe what we're told by others.

Peace to you.

Are you saying they don't have a clear position on masturbation itself or to what degree repentance is required?

They have a very clear position on masturbation.

[slamjet]

The Church does not seem to have a clear position on masturbation, so I see some flexibility there. Sooner or later, we all have to make decisions about what we believe, or decide to simply believe what we're told by others.

Well, this is totally incorrect. The church has a very clear and strong position on this matter: DON'T! Read some recent conference talks, especially ones by Ballard, Holland and Packer just to name a few. They all say that it's wrong. It's messing with procreative powers and sexual feelings that clearly belong in a marriage only.

[slamjet]

Ok, this thread bothered me a bit, so here I go backing up my last post:

The Lord specifically forbids certain behaviors, including all sexual relations before marriage, petting, sex perversion (such as homosexuality, rape, and incest), masturbation, or preoccupation with sex in thought, speech, or action. (W. Jefferey Marsh, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery)

And just to make sure:

The early apostles and prophets mention numerous sins that were reprehensible to them. Many of them were sexual sins—adultery, being without natural affection, lustfulness, infidelity, incontinence, filthy communications, impurity, inordinate affection, fornication. They included all sexual relations outside marriage—petting, sex perversion, masturbation, and preoccupation with sex in one’s thoughts and talking. (Spencer W. Kimball, President Kimball Speaks Out About Morality, Nov. 1990 Ensign)

I hope this clears up any ambiguity.

[KrazyKay]

The church does have a very clear position - as noted above, so I won't repeat those. But I will say what a bishop once told me when I was a teenager and had asked him about something I read on how masturbation is supposedly healthy. He said that masturbation is basically adultery in that the person doing the masturbation is having sex with him/herself. Further, it is making light of the sacredness of the procreation powers and playing inappropriately with the special feelings that should be within the bounds of marriage only.

[tubaloth]

Just passing through.

I know he can help me, but

You are saying you don't want Help?

I want to do this on my own. Is that possible?

Let me get this straight. You want to battle Satan on your own? Even just saying that, isn't that what Satan wants! You are dealing with something bigger then just telling a Lie or not going to church. Satan wants you think that what you did was no BIG deal! But you know it was a BIG deal, and yet you don't want the Help of the Atonement to help you? I know what you are saying, "can't I just repent between Me and God?" You can, and that is the first step! But God can't be there to help in all the other steps. Thats why God has Bishops. Your Bishop is there to help you take full advantage of the Atonement. If you want to try to do this on your own, you are in a sense saying I figure out my own way to Repent? Last time I checked, you can't really do that. Even more thats probably what Satan wants!

Part of Repentance is talking to your bishop!

[RadDad]

He was President of the church when he said it.

and he was never a 70

[Starya]

Like it or not this is NOT something you can do on your own. You might not completely grasp the seriousness of this, that is the feeling I am getting anyway. I have always been tought that ANY sexual sin you commit you can not resolve on your own. Sexual sins have to be discussed with the bishop, this is a sexual sin. I struggled with this not to long ago, in my case mine was more extreme and it went on for a lot longer than the normal time (I started earlier than normal). My situation was mostly a lack of education on how bad it was, I was pretty innocent about it and didn't realize how bad it was. by the time i was 18 I had been doing it for 15 years and it was SERIOUS. I had one of the worst addictions to masturbation that I have ever heard of (seriously). I first talked to my mom about it, and from there I started talking to my bishop. It has been 3 years, and I have made plenty of blunders since I started talking to my bishop about it, he is a very understanding person though.

A few of the key things you have to remember when you are trying to get over this is

1. KEEP YOUR MIND CLEAN!

In most cases when I slipped and did it again my mind started wandering off in the wrong direction.

2. Pray every time you get the urge, even if there is even the slightest urge you should pray, God wants to help you and this is one of the most important parts in getting over this.

3. Don't beat yourself up about messing up if you slip and do it, this kind of addiction takes time and effort to get over, it's okay to make mistakes as long as you are trying your best not to.

4. stay away from TV, movies, music, media in general that will provoke your addiction / kindle it.

5. Talk to your bishop at least every couple weeks (with me it's always 3 or 4 now. at first it was every week though). Like it or not you do need to see your bishop and it WILL help. I find I struggle more with the temptation when I haven't seen my bishop for a while. Even if you have stopped for months like me you are still in the red or at least the yellow zone. I stopped for 3 or 4 months, did pretty well and then slipped once or twice. Just because you stop for a few months does not mean you are cured. Things like this take years to completely cure. Also, it being embarrassing to talk to him about this can really help as well. In my case every time I told him about it it was REALLY embarrassing and thus it helped me because I did NOT want to go back to him with more embarrassing news. I tried my best to avoid having to be embarrassed again. it is not easy for me to talk about it with him even after 3 years. I consider this to be a good thing.

Hope this helps. :)

Edited June 16, 2011 by Starya

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

So I am an active LDS member, and am 18 years old. I've had one boyfriend before and have had problems controlling my physical needs with him. Our relationship ended quickly, and thankfully we never actually got as far as having sex, but we were very close. After that I was able to talk to my bishop, repent, and get my life back on course. This was only a few months ago. But now, even though I have repented and have promised never to do it again, I have been leading into sexual thoughts and fantasies that I have very little control over. I even got to the point of masturbation. At the time, I didn't believe that what I was doing was wrong because I wasn't having sex, but now I know that it was a very wrong and selfish act.

I guess what I am asking is if I will be able to repent of this sin on my own. I really don't think I need to talk to my bishop and really don't want to. I know he can help me, but I want to do this on my own. Is that possible? Is masturbation too serious to handle on my own?

It is natural to have fantasies. Young boys have "wet dreams". It is how we are developing. This is where it becomes the realization that we have to learn to control our desires so that it does not become an addiction.

Let me ask you this, how close are you to your mother? Do you feel comfortable talking with her about this? Is there anyone close to you that you can confide in? Talk about this, write down those thoughts, how they make you feel.

although it is not related to what you are dealing with, I remember years ago reading about how someone read the Book of Mormon every time they thought about wanting to light up a cigarette. They related how doing this helped them overcome the addiction and the desire to light up.

[honestabe]

So just so I understand you....you think that your hand was injured because you masterbated a little?

[honestabe]

I have the same issue. I just masturbated a little - on the side, and I didn't tell anyone. It never hurt anyone so I never told my bishop. I don't masturbate anymore, my right hand was disfigured in an industrial bailer. Serves me right, I suppose,

Just so understand what your implying.....you think your hand was injured as a direct result of you masturbating? This was GODS way of punishing you? just wondering:eek:

[Guest saintish]

I am going to take what i am guessing will be a very unpopular position. I don't think mastubation is as serious as some in this thread have expressed.

First, the consequences are mental / spritual only. there are no physical consequences from masturbation.

second, most falsly assume that masturbation will lead to pornography addiction and fornication / adultery. this is also false, there is no way to say that one nessisarily causes the other.

[Dustii7]

.

First, the consequences are mental / spritual only. there are no physical consequences from masturbation.

the mental/spiritual aspect are the only parts that matter for me... and really the fact that it might not necessarily lead to worse things doesn't mean that masturbation in itself is ok... it's still a huge problem that needs to be stopped and dealt with as soon as possible. From personal experience, I can say it was a huge impediment for me in the Church. I never felt the spirit; I felt like I didn't even have the Holy Ghost with me anymore. But then, when I found the strength to stop, like 6 months ago, I felt it again! I felt it so strong, like I was had been rebabtized into the Church again! It was amazing! I'm feeling stronger then ever, and I owe it to my stopping that sinful act.

[Backroads]

I am going to take what i am guessing will be a very unpopular position. I don't think mastubation is as serious as some in this thread have expressed.

First, the consequences are mental / spritual only. there are no physical consequences from masturbation.

second, most falsly assume that masturbation will lead to pornography addiction and fornication / adultery. this is also false, there is no way to say that one nessisarily causes the other.

I remember reading somewhere a general authority saying that masturbation was not as serious as other sexual sins. I've always went with that idea, though I do believe it still remains a sin.

[Guest saintish]

I remember reading somewhere a general authority saying that masturbation was not as serious as other sexual sins. I've always went with that idea, though I do believe it still remains a sin.

I Agree, although I do remember having a bishop tell me that it was just as bad as adultery but i'll believe the GA over the Bishop.

[pam]

I am going to take what i am guessing will be a very unpopular position. I don't think mastubation is as serious as some in this thread have expressed.

First, the consequences are mental / spritual only. there are no physical consequences from masturbation.

second, most falsly assume that masturbation will lead to pornography addiction and fornication / adultery. this is also false, there is no way to say that one nessisarily causes the other.

You are right..not popular. What is worse than spiritual? I'd take some physical consequences over anything spiritual or causing a lack of spirit. That can be more damning than physical for so many people.

[Guest saintish]

You are very right pam, and note I didn't say the spiritual consequences weren't real. Thinking about what you have just posted, sin is a very personal matter. One man's not paying tithing is another man's adultery. Or, in other words, what can be an innocent sin for one can be a very serious one for another. I suppose that is why we have bishops and not set punishments for certian sins.

[pam]

You are very right pam, and note I didn't say the spiritual consequences weren't real. Thinking about what you have just posted, sin is a very personal matter. One man's not paying tithing is another man's adultery. Or, in other words, what can be an innocent sin for one can be a very serious one for another. I suppose that is why we have bishops and not set punishments for certian sins.

And that's exactly why we have Bishops. To discuss sins, whether we think them large or small. I dislike when we try and put degrees on sins.

[coruscate]

You are very right pam, and note I didn't say the spiritual consequences weren't real. Thinking about what you have just posted, sin is a very personal matter. One man's not paying tithing is another man's adultery. Or, in other words, what can be an innocent sin for one can be a very serious one for another. I suppose that is why we have bishops and not set punishments for certian sins.

It's true, sin is a personal matter. So all I can do is share my personal experiences. And in my personal experience, "innocent sin" is an oxymoron.

In THE MIRACLE OF FORGIVENESS, President Kimball (not then the prophet) says that masturbation is not as serious as other sexual sins, but that it is still serious. The only reason mb is not considered as serious as other sexual sins is that you were not involved with another person while sinning. But it is still very, very serious for your spiritual condition. Again, speaking from my own experiences (I've struggled with sexual addiction for years), it is horribly detrimental to spiritual progression. You are basically stuck in place, a slave to the flesh.

Sexual sins without exception require the help of the bishop because of the nature of the sin. You cannot escape temptation by yourself, because you are always there. Those sexual parts go where you go And perhaps there are people who have not escalated into porn and other sins, but I've never met one. Playing Russian roulette with your salvation and splitting hairs over "serious" and "more serious" is a dangerous game.

[pam]

Thank you coruscate!!!! If I could thank your post 10X I would.

[Backroads]

I figure if you feel spiritually unsettled by anything and can't decide whether it's bishop-worthy or not, go to the bishop. I see no harm coming from it.