church discipline


needingadvice
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If someone is presently inactive with no desire to return to the church, and the bishop or stake president finds out through other sources that they are committing or have committed "serious sin" (such as serious violations of civil law, spouse abuse, child abuse, adultery, fornication, rape, and incest)... do they call the person in, try to get a confession, or confront them? Or, do they wait until the person is trying to go back to church? Or does it vary?

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Definitely varies. The Bishop/Stake President have a variety of ways to approach this. I know in my ward, a divorced sister who was not active was not approached at all by Church leaders, for having a boyfriend that spent the night at her place several times a week.

I think a big factor is whether or not you are endowed -- they would be much more strict due to the covenants taken there.

HiJolly

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There are a lot of factors to be considered here. Endowments is one. Also if the law is being broken then there are legal requirements to consider. With them being inactive then there is the repentance process to think about. Most likely its not really going to happen no matter what, but they might be able to trigger something. Finally there is the impact the persons action is having on the Church as a whole. But most people aren't going to effect it much, but others might due to popularity or something. The Church might need to distance itself from them in an official manner (Please note this is rare)

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Guest mormonmusic
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I also think that just how busy the Bishop is, and how widely known the sin is has an impact on whether a Church leader will get involved.

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Guess I will be more specific so I can get better answers. MP holder, endowed, inactive for 3 years, wife comes forward that he has been abusive (mostly verbal, emotional, economic but once instance of physical abuse). How do bishops handle this? Confront the guy? Or help the victim until the guy possibly confesses at some point?

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Abuse is a hot button topic and I know the Bishops are told to be very watchful for it. As to what the Bishop will do that is still up in the air, but I would expect him to address the issue as much at the individual members will allow. That being said that the higher level disciplinary actions for a priesthood holder get bumped up to the Stake President.

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Bishops have jurisdiction over these kinds of things and they act as the spirit directs them. No two situations are identical so you can’t really generalize anyway. The important thing is to do your part when you know something is going on and report it to the proper authorities. When you do, you shouldn’t do it for the sake of revenge or to see someone punished. That would make you no better than them. Instead, your motives should be to help them or protect someone who you know is a victim. Don’t worry about what will be done. As long as the action is directed by the spirit, it will be the correct one for that situation.

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The important thing is to do your part when you know something is going on and report it to the proper authorities.

Amen. Utah (among other states) requires anyone who suspects child abuse to report it. Clergymen are the only exception.

If you're in Utah, and you know about an incident of child abuse but don't report it to the state and instead inform the bishop; the consequences will be that a) there's no guarantee the bishop will pass the information on, and b) by not reporting it you've just committed a Class B misdemeanor punishable by 180 days in jail and a $1000 fine.

Edited by Just_A_Guy
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You cant confront them. You can always call them in for an interview or if a member or two say that they are willing to say what they know in a Church council you can proceed that way. Or, if they have broken the law and will be punished that way, you wait to see what happens there. Before you do anything you always call the Stake President and make him aware of whats going on.

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As another poster said, it really depends on the bishop.

I remember many years ago a friend of mine (did not have MP) who became inactive was having relations with a young woman who had also gone inactive. They excommunicated both of them.

On the other hand, I know of cases with endowed members who had sexual relations before marriage - some were ex'd, some not (different bishops).

In this particular case I'm not sure what a bishop can do. Ex'ing the guy isn't going to stop the abuse problems, especially if he's already inactive. It might only sever the link that could possibly be used to help bring the guy to his senses. And, as others have pointed out, there are legal issues that might need to be followed in this case.

Many critics have pointed out that leaders in our church tend to sweep abuse issues under the rug or simply dismiss them, as happened to my wife when she was young. Sad but true.

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  • 1 month later...

So I have been on here before, asking questions because my husband has been emotionally/verbally/financially and at time physically abusive towards me for around the past 3 years. Well, he finally did go in to talk to the bishop about it. He says he told the bishop everything that has gone on, yet the bishop told him only to take me on dates and read his scriptures and pray. He is doing the dates thing, but I just wonder what the bishop is thinking? I thought there might be some kind of disciplinary action or at least recommend counseling. I mean dates are nice but they don't even begin to repair the damage that has been done. I guess it makes me unforgiving but it would take more than dates to rebuild the trust that has been lost. I'm just not sure what to think. I almost feel liek the bishop is just sweeping this under the rug and hoping it goes away?

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Your husband is inactive.. and in huge amounts of denial of the damage he is causing.. That ties the bishops hands quiet a bit. Do you really think he told the truth... Or do you think he glossed it over again and told the bishop the way he believes it is?

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I know someone that was ex'd via a letter in the mail. Bishop heard what he did, and he never showed up or tried to repent so he got a letter saying he was ex'd. I think that is a horrible way to do it, but I am sure there was more to the story I don't know. Like maybe the bishop clled him in and he wouldn't come or something....I got the story from a friend of his, so it was one sided...

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I do know that if several attempts to contact the person ends up in no reply..this means by phone or in person..a letter is sent.

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So I have been on here before, asking questions because my husband has been emotionally/verbally/financially and at time physically abusive towards me for around the past 3 years. Well, he finally did go in to talk to the bishop about it. He says he told the bishop everything that has gone on, yet the bishop told him only to take me on dates and read his scriptures and pray. He is doing the dates thing, but I just wonder what the bishop is thinking? I thought there might be some kind of disciplinary action or at least recommend counseling. I mean dates are nice but they don't even begin to repair the damage that has been done. I guess it makes me unforgiving but it would take more than dates to rebuild the trust that has been lost. I'm just not sure what to think. I almost feel liek the bishop is just sweeping this under the rug and hoping it goes away?

Have you suggested to your husband marriage counseling? Even if he wasn't interested, you should probably seek some type of counseling for yourself. Give yourself some education and support in dealing with an abusive spouse.

M.

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I met with the bishop about two months ago. I had just moved into the ward and had my old bishop and the counselor I was seeing prior to moving speak with him as well. I also had typed up a 2 page summary giving some specific information and examples.

My husband met with him two weeks ago and I haven't met with the bishop since then. I do appreciate that my husband seems to be trying to have fun dates and all, its just that that seems like such a small solution to a big problem. Does that make sense? The fact that my husband will not discuss with me what has happened and just wants to forget all about it and have fun together, it kinda bugs me, like the pain and turmoil I have gone thru means nothing and I just have to put on a happy face and move on. I do want to forgive him, but I also want him to understand what has happened so it won't happen again.

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The Disciplinary Process isn't about retribution or punishing someone. It helps the sinner repent and protects the good name of the church. An inactive member who doesn't go to church for years.. isn't going to benefit much from the process. I have known many inactive members with varying sins... rarely have I ever seen a Bishop intervene unless the person willingly goes into their office.

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