How do I change???


christy82
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My Husband and my self had some elder's come to our house a couple months ago and every since then my husband is all for changing his ways and going to church and so am I. We have not lived a good lifestyle, we both grew up being trouble such as gangs drugs and violence, we both smoke and are willing to quit. I want to change my hole life and learn about god and be introduced to the book of mormon. My problem is I feel its to late due to the lifestyle we lived in the past. How do I change my habits such as smoking and profanity, I try so hard but always end up back to the same foul mouthed person. When I look at the elders I get so jelous of how they are, I feel so out of place and like they look down on me for the way I am. I want to change my ways and even become baptized, I want to raise my kids so they know about god. Any advice?:mellow:

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Any advice?:mellow:

Yep. Take it one step at a time. Little bite-sized changes. The important thing is that you truly desire to be good. And when you offer that change to God, He will inspire you to keep going. Because, Christy, God wants you back. It doesn't matter that you have been on the wrong track yesterday. It only matters that you are on the right track today. You don't have to be perfect tomorrow. You just have to be a little bit better than today.

So, the first step is to express your desire to change to God in prayer. The second step is to forgive yourself.

You are a woman of WORTH. You chose to follow God's Plan by coming to earth instead of following Satan and 1/3 of the angels that went with him. Think of how brave you were to do that. That you have already made a very noble, righteous choice.

Okay, here's a movie quote (because I just love movie quotes):

"You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant. It happened to me."

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My advice isn't particularly exciting, but it's pretty accurate. Change doesn't happen with a switch. It takes years and years of work that involves many ups and downs. The idea is to be further along this time next year than you are now.

My bishop and his wife joined the church some thirty years ago. Just recently, my wife was talking to his wife and my wife mentioned that the bishop had accidentally let it slip that their daughter was pregnant (it wasn't supposed to be known outside the family yet). The instant response from the bishop's wife was, "oh, s#*(!"

After 30 years, sometimes it still slips. But as you keep trying, you'll find your slips get fewer and farther between.

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Christ taught that physicians are not for those who are whole, but for those who are sick. We all have weaknesses we seek to overcome. With the strength of the gospel, faith, and the love of Christ, we can overcome all things. Will there be set backs? Possibly. But that's when we repent and try again. We have not lost until we quit trying.

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We are all changing. We're either getting better or getting worse. Either way, we're changing.

As for making the positive changes you desire, the most important thing to begin doing is prayer. When I started making changes in my life, I struggled with prayer because I didn't know what to say or how to do it. But I stayed with it and just thanked Heavenly Father for the blessings He has given me. Then I started reading. Last year, I read the Book of Mormon from beginning to end. When you combine that with prayer, it is a VERY powerful experience. Over time, I gained my own, personal testimony that this is really God's church. Once that happens, quite frankly, it all becomes fairly easy after that because you then KNOW that everything that is being asked of us in the scriptures and by the leaders of this Church come directly from God. Before having that testimony, I struggled just like you. So, if you and your husband work at it together by reading and praying about what you are reading, you both will also be blessed with revelation that will confirm that this is really the one, true church of Jesus Christ.

One thing to remember though, and I think this is really important. Don't beat yourself up too much when you slip. You aren't going to make a 180 degree turn overnight, and you shouldn't get too down on yourself when you don't, because you won't! Just keep striving to get better. If you read just once last week, then try and read twice this week. Just try to get better! Over time, you will gain momentum and find that this routine becomes a part of you and you will begin to enjoy it. I know how it is, saying you'll do something one day, but then not following through. We all do it. Just start at a comfortable pace that you know the both of you can sustain and then build on it. It will all come in time.

Congratulations on making this decision! You definitely have the desire and that's the first thing we need to make a change in our lives! Now build on that and increase your faith through family study and prayer and enjoy the blessings that will follow!

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One other thing I should add....its NEVER too late to make a change! Because of the greatest gift ever given to man, the gift of the atonement, we can ALL make the changes we need that are necessary to be worthy to return to Heavenly Father after this life. The fact is, many of the members of this church, including myself, have not been worthy at one point or another in our lives. But through proper repentance, many of us have been cleansed. I can't even begin to describe that feeling, knowing that you are clean once again. Its not an easy process, at least it wasn't for me, but I am so grateful that there even is a process and that Jesus Christ was willing to take all of those sins from me. Its a wonderful feeling knowing that the slate has been wiped clean and I hope you and your husband experience it one day.

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You love your family, that much is clear. Change is a challenge for us all in one area or another. We all have our 'favorite sin'. Paul called his a 'thorn in the flesh'. As long as the desire is there, God can work with you to get you through it. It takes humility, faith, determination, and a boatload of patience with yourself.

Realize that God is waiting to bestow upon you and your family such happiness and joy as none of us can fully imagine. As you take your steps towards him, step by step, you will feel the joy and happiness come accordingly.

May God be with you and your family always :)

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The more you hang out with church people and the missionaries, your language improves, and so does your mode of dress --without you even realizing it. I had problems with alcohol when I joined the church, and also gave up smoking. I think giving up coffee may have been the worst.

It is never too late!

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Guest mirancs8

It's never to late! Trust me I know what I'm saying. Yes it may take time and you will most likely fall many times. However by immediately getting back up and dusting yourself off you will find it will get easier over time.

Don't be fooled we all slip. I can't even tell you the number of times I'll be at life members homes and opps the can opens. You have to learn to laugh at yourself, and not be so hard on yourself. We are not perfect.

HF loves you and it's NEVER to late.

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Christy, what a beautiful post you had written. I just had to respond. I do want to say that it will take time. What I've always been taught is that faith is like muscle. If you exercise it, you will gain strength. You know what happens when we don't exercise, everything goes south! lol

I know these steps you are taking will bless your life more than you can imagine. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful mind. It's great that your and your husband are on the same page...that is also a great blessing. I've seen so many examples of people who try to join the church but one spouse is not as receptive as the other. I hope your children will embrace it and that I know you will be a great example and teacher to your kids and you will be giving them tools to learn how to cope with their own lives.

I hope that you will be able to make friends soon. :)

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If you want to change, do this:

a) identify where you are now by measuring it

b) keep track over time

c) review what you have measured to see trends

d) adjust as needed.

e) don't beat yourself for temporary setbacks if you are making progress over time

There are many people who "want to lose weight", for example. Most of them weigh the same amount 5 years later.

There is a far higher success rate among people who weigh themselves regularly and keep a record. Many of them don't even have a "diet."

If you want to quit smoking, keep track of how many you smoke per day, what times, and what types of circumstances lead you to want to smoke more or less. The same goes with profanity, or any other habit. What gets measured gets managed.

RW

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My Husband and my self had some elder's come to our house a couple months ago and every since then my husband is all for changing his ways and going to church and so am I. We have not lived a good lifestyle, we both grew up being trouble such as gangs drugs and violence, we both smoke and are willing to quit. I want to change my hole life and learn about god and be introduced to the book of mormon. My problem is I feel its to late due to the lifestyle we lived in the past. How do I change my habits such as smoking and profanity, I try so hard but always end up back to the same foul mouthed person. When I look at the elders I get so jelous of how they are, I feel so out of place and like they look down on me for the way I am. I want to change my ways and even become baptized, I want to raise my kids so they know about god. Any advice?:mellow:

Do notgive up-Keep on trying...

Paul comforted The Belivers in Romans Chapter-

Romans 8

1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

Paul later wrote in Chapter 8

37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God loves you.He is your father.He is on your side a you learn and go...

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