When to say no to giving a priesthood blessing


MrShorty
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A situation is developing with my daughter that is concerning me. To try to be brief, she has a chronic cough that isn't serious, but it often makes it difficult for her to sleep. Or, at least she thinks it will make it difficult for her to sleep. She is getting into the habit of asking for a blessing before bed, and it seems to help her sleep. What I'm worried about is that she is going to become "psychology dependent" on the blessing to sleep even when it isn't necessary. I don't want to deny my daughter her privilege to call on the priesthood when she needs help, but I also don't want her to think of the priesthood as a crutch without which she can't sleep.

Any opinions? Am I making too much of it? Should I do something to make sure she learns not to rely too heavily on the priesthood for "routine" problems?

Edited by MrShorty
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A few questions:

How old is your daughter?

If she has a chronic cough why you say isn't serious and that she thinks it will make it difficult for her to sleep? (you don't seem to believe it?) If she indeed has a chronic cough, she WILL be uncomfortable and cause her to have a difficult sleep, specially at night.

I don't know the age of your daughter but one thing for sure. If she wasn't uncomfortable enough, she won't be asking for the blessings.

What the doctor said about her cough?

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Maybe it would help to have her pray for a restful night herself? If she's old enough to get it (I'd say 7 or more), read about the gifts of the spirit together, and encourage her to identify the one(s) she has and to develop others. There are a few I can think of that could take the place of "needing" a priesthood blessing so often.

:)

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Priesthood blessings are not aspirin. It's for you as a father to teach her the appropriate use of the Priesthood and blessings. Give a blessing once, then she needs to exercise faith and take it the rest of the way. Even if that includes going to the Doctors to see why she has a chronic cough.

I have a few kids that have sleeping issues. We taught them to pray and to make a bedtime ritual. Only one child takes melatonin but that's because medically, she can't get herself to sleep on her own. They have their moments, but thus far, they're doing fine.

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Are you giving blessings with the oil and all or just a blessing of comfort?

I had a stake president tell me that you can't ask for to many blessings. He said his wife never hesitated to ask for a blessing, that is how her father did things. He said for him growing up blessings were rare and saved for "special" occasions. He said his wife's requests for blessings (though awkward at first) taught him more about the priesthood than any other experience. There was even a time (when their four sons were all teens) it was on a daily basis. He would come home from work and she would say "I need a blessing". He got to where he didn't pester her as to why or what happened, he just gave her one, it was between her and god.

I guess it's just all in how you look at blessings.

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Thank you for the comments. If I may respond to some of the questions/comments:

She's early in her 2nd decade (how's that for obscure?) so she's starting to reach an age where I want to make sure I give her a proper perspective on the priesthood and it's role vs. personal faith and prayer. She and I both have a similar cough and we've been to the doctors to rule out serious causes. It appears to be a manifestation of acid reflux. Mostly the effect on her sleep is in getting to sleep. Once she's asleep, she will sleep fine all night. The other effect is that she gets anxious about it, which aggravates the cough. As I see it, the effect the blessing is similar to a "placebo" in that it quiets those anxieties so she can relax and go to sleep. My fear is that the blessing becomes merely a part of the ritual, and she becomes dependent on it as a matter of ritual rather than a real attempt to call upon the powers of heaven.

Priesthood blessings are not aspirin.

I had a stake president tell me that you can't ask for to many blessings.

I guess in a larger context, these are the two views I've been trying to balance myself over the years. I have often noticed in myself that I will wait until I am nearly on my death bed or nearly overcome by some challenge before I will turn to the priesthood to receive a blessing. I feel like we are missing out when we reserve priesthood blessing for "rare" and "special" occasions only. I think I would prefer to err on the side of giving her a blessing even if I don't feel it is necessary or expedient.

When you say, "priesthood blessings are not aspirin." what do you mean?

on edit: or perhaps from a different angle. what is the difference between faith in God or faith in the priesthood and "faith" in a "placebo"

Edited by MrShorty
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The aspirin comment and what is to follow is my own opinion; a product of my experiences. so take it for what it's worth (just thought I'd clarify that up front).

On my mission, we had a guy who called us for a blessing for every little sniffle he got. It was almost comedic at times. That set my opinion that blessings are:

- for comfort to a person suffering from a condition.

- possibly heal a condition.

- give words of comfort and guidance.

Then it becomes the recipient job to reflect on the blessing and exercise faith that what was said and what they were blessed for would come to pass. To have multiple blessing for a conditions is not conducive to exercising faith, but is akin to demanding a result from God. Kind of like, if you don't like the answer, keep asking until you wear the person down. That's not how blessings work.

So if a person has the flu that is not life threatening, let our God-given bodies and the miracle of modern medicine do it's job. If a person is suffering from an ailment that they feel threatened by, then give a blessing and give it time. The Lord knows what needs to happen and he expects us to exercise faith and prudence.

That's pretty much it.

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Ok I'll throw more of my opinion out there. lol There is more than one kind of priesthood blessing. I believe there is a reason we have more than one kind, some are to be used more generously than others.

There are ordinances and patriarchal blessings, usually only once in your life.

There are blessings to heal the sick, done with anointed oil. Usually with 2 priesthood holders present. I've always seen this one used only when necessary (really sick).

And there are blessings of comfort or counsel. No oil involved, only one priesthood holder is necessary, and can be given at any time it's requested. Many father's (or husband's) give them just before a new school year starts, medical procedures, big tests, etc. My husband gave me one before leaving to the hospital with the birth of each of our children. This one I think is meant to be given generously. It's a means of communication with our father that is greater than normal prayer. This is the blessing my stake pres was talking about giving his wife on a daily basis.

Based on what has been said here and it were happening in my house I would suggest one blessing for the sick (with the oil) over this particular issue. Then I would give the comfort blessings as requested.

May also consider having some talks about personal prayer and revelation. Encourage her to seek an answer as to what will help her to sleep better and reduce the impact of the condition on her life. Could be a great way to teach her to ponder out solutions and praying about them, try them out, being lead to an answer through revelation. Might be a good time to learn/understand that trials aren't always removed from us, so we need to seek ways to deal with them.

I have a son with night seizures. If he ever became afraid to sleep and that helped him to feel better I would support nightly blessings.

On a physical note, if the cough is because of acid reflux does lying flat make it worse? Would sleeping in a reclining position help reduce it?

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  • 6 years later...

I want to address you and your daughter’s cough/health issue first. Just because a doctor or doctors have told you your cough is Gerds related doesn’t mean that the underlining cause of not only the cough or the presumption of it being Acid Reflux Disease is treating the underlining causes? Acid Reflux is the result of a problem. My son went to doctors who diagnosed him with Gerds as a child (gastrointestinal Reflux disease), which he didn’t have until he was 9 years old. I tried going the health route of trying to have him eat healthier, with not much help. Then 10 years later, out of frustration that his suffering was not “normal”  I took him once again to a pediatric GI doctor. He said that this was indeed not normal and that something was at the root of causing it. So with the advancements that are continually being made in the medical field, he started with a blood test to rule out Possible Celiac Disease (an autoimmune disease where your body sees Gluten as a foreign invader an attack’s itself). The blood test for possible Celiac disease ended up positive. But even if it had not, he still could have had an intolerance to Gluten which would make him a very sick kid, nonetheless. After the results come back positive then an Endoscopy is required that involves a tiny biopsy of the small intestine to see if the villa that is involved in the absorption of nutrients from what we consume is compromised/damaged. My son’s was indeed severely damaged. The GI doctor also noticed that the acid reflux which is the symptom of a much deeper problem, had caused scaring in his lower esophagus.whicj undoubtedly will be the case with you and your child. And if not treated then can later cause cancer of the esophagus. I’m not trying to scare you only to help educate you that Acid Reflux disease is the symptom of something more? My son no longe canceat any products that not only contain wheat and a few other wheat-like glutens, he also can not be cross-contaminated by it. Many people suffer from types of food allergies & intolerances that can manifest itself from skin rashes to GI symptoms. 

That being said, onto my take on priesthood blessings. I am a only member female convert to the church. I am no expert on Preisthood Blessing and my husband came from a troubled LDS home,where priesthood blessing were not the only thing absent in it. So my marriage has seen the absence of these blessings and many other blessings. When I learned about the restored Godpel through my 14 credit Hurd of religious classes at BYU PROVO, I was told that Priesthood & Priesthood blessings were the gift/keys given to be able to act in the name of God to bless others amongst other things. That although women can not hold these keys, they are to be shared with her from righteous Priesthoid holders. (Father’s, husband’s etc). Yet in my own life and experiences I definitely don’t feel them shared with me. This is why I am researching this? This is why I came to this forum. I just happened to come across your post on my quest for God’s knowledge on this, because there is definitely no lack of mortal man and women’s input about it. Mortal men & women are not God! They have so many of their own opinions, based on their own truths of gospel matters that it is crazy trying to find what  our Heavenly Father in any of this. The Keys of the Priesthoid are not of man. They are predicated on the righteousness of the individual on whether or not they can be used. Preisthood Blessings are the keys GOD HAS GIVEN, to bless the lives of his children. Would God ever deny his children his blessings? 

So this is why I am here today. Not to tell people what or what not our Heavenly Father has dictated about the Priesthoid or Priesthood Blessings? Only to know why it is so difficult to get them? Why mortal members of our church differ more than I ever dreamed possible on this subject? All I know at this point only quest to know God’s will on something I can not be blessed with, unless the men holding these keys will share them with me, a woman or a child, is this! God made me and I know he loves me. And if he loves me he wants me to feel his love. Isn’t the role of the Presthood and the Presthood blessings part of his plan for us to feel his love? Your child is suffering! Your as a parent our suffering! Until you can find a doctor who can help you resolve the issues of your GI issues that they say result in the cough that is a source of so much physical, mental and emotional pain,  then don’t withhold the only thing your child has left that gives her comfort? Don’t listen to a bunch of mortal members of our church that have no business acting as our God? Give your child the one and only comfort that you are blessed to be able to give her/him as a man and as a father and priesthood holder! God who loves your child even more than you and definitely more than any mortal man, would not want your child to suffer if you don’t?! 

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Hi and welcome Decosta. Please keep in mind you're responding to a 7 year old thread.  

Not exactly sure I have a good understanding of what you're asking about priesthood blessings.  If you want one and hubby can't or won't, you can always ask for one from your ministers (formerly home teachers) or someone in the bishopric, or any number of people.   Does that help?

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On ‎4‎/‎23‎/‎2011 at 9:52 PM, MrShorty said:

A situation is developing with my daughter that is concerning me. To try to be brief, she has a chronic cough that isn't serious, but it often makes it difficult for her to sleep. Or, at least she thinks it will make it difficult for her to sleep. She is getting into the habit of asking for a blessing before bed, and it seems to help her sleep. What I'm worried about is that she is going to become "psychology dependent" on the blessing to sleep even when it isn't necessary. I don't want to deny my daughter her privilege to call on the priesthood when she needs help, but I also don't want her to think of the priesthood as a crutch without which she can't sleep.

Any opinions? Am I making too much of it? Should I do something to make sure she learns not to rely too heavily on the priesthood for "routine" problems?

It is my opinion that you should make this a matter of prayer - perhaps even fasting and prayer.  Then if so inclined make part of the blessing - instructions for your daughter is seeking a blessings - or if so inspired specific to this condition.

 

The Traveler

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