Just got endowment and feeling weird about it


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Hey everybody, I just went through my first endowment this morning. I am getting married next week to a wonderful man who is my best friend (dated for almost 2 years, engaged for 7 months). I am looking for support from any other members who did not have a positive first experience. That may seem like a strange request but I have a fiance and parents and in-laws who talk about the temple like it's the greatest thing they've ever experienced and talking with them is only frustrating me. This is not what I expected to feel a few days before my temple wedding. I need some support from someone who can actually relate to how I am feeling right now.

I took my ward's temple prep class, read the pamphlet, took a BYU temples class, and talked about the temple at length albeit in general terms with my bishop and my family. Then I went through today and I felt tricked. I was not prepared for how weird it seemed to me. Even though I can't say anything in there was harmful, going into a room and doing and saying things by command made me very uncomfortable. It really came off as a cult ritual to me, and I have grown up in the church! Add on top of that that I am a pretty circumspect person and I felt surrounded by female temple workers who were projecting emotionally at me and so ANXIOUS for me to like it that I felt I wasn't given a chance to experience my own emotions.

Add on to that that I strongly dislike the garment. I've been reading these forums for the last few hours to try and get some perspective from members on the garment and the temple in general. It looks like it has been discussed ad nauseum on these boards so suffice to say I have a "uniquely" proportioned body that even the measurement lady at the distribution center said would be hard to fit. And I found out in the temple that indeed they didn't fit right, and it's uncomfortable, and my goodness do I feel ugly in them. I have always dressed conservatively and covered myself, and can't really see what underwear has to do with spirituality...especially when I have to wear "worldly" underwear with them anyway to take care of feminine support up top and feminine menstrual needs below. It's not that I didn't know it was coming, but I guess it wasn't so bad when I wasn't wearing them.

I am so frustrated right now because I feel like this is nothing at all like the church I experience every Sunday, and I'm not sure I like it all.

Insights appreciated :(

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You are not unusual in your experience. I remember my first time I was wondering "what in the world is this stuff?" And the Garments? But once I went a few times and read what the Temple was all about, then I began to understand it's place in the Church and to appreciate it. Now that I can't go, I miss it terribly.

As for the ceremonies, it's more of a lesson in a very advanced class than anything else. You're not going to understand it for a bit, but don't let how different it is turn you off. Go prayerfully. It would also be a good idea to fast and pray to open yourself up to the workings of the Spirit before you go. I found it helpful for me to go by myself the first few times. Being alone helped alleviate having to worry about someone else and I was able to get more out of it. But definitely go with your Ward or Stake Temple nights. And feel free to ask friends or other Ward members questions when you get to the Celestial room.

The Temple is a very sacred place that does take getting used to. But please don't let that stop you from getting the blessings that are attached to Temple attendance.

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I am looking for support from any other members who did not have a positive first experience.

I would say mine wasn't positive inasmuch as it was overwhelming and quite a shift. I think the big thing is that it is heavily symbolic, probably more so than anything else in the Church and the covenants we make prior aren't made in so straight forward of a manner. It's one thing to get baptized and talk about the baptismal covenant, or of taking the sacrament and renewing our covenants. It is quite different to straight up take them upon you.

We also, as a Church have low key ritual (doctrinal) and the Temple ceremony has more ritual involved than anything else we experience, and that which we do experience we take in stride from being accustomed to. We tend not to view the particulars of giving a priesthood blessing, or of blessing the sacrament as ritual by the time we go to the Temple.

And I found out in the temple that indeed they didn't fit right, and it's uncomfortable, and my goodness do I feel ugly in them.

You can custom order garments, from the distribution website (http://store.lds.org/):

Special Needs Garments

Some members have a need for garments that meet particular needs. Some surgical procedures such as mastectomies or colostomies may make standard garments uncomfortable or unworkable. Garments adapted to these needs are available through special order.

Special orders are also available for members who are unable to obtain correct sizing in standard garments or who have workplace requirements. Special orders for these reasons will be priced the same as standard garments. Personal preferences for garments made in style and fabric combinations not otherwise available may also be filled through special order for an additional charge.

If you have a sizing concern, a medical need, or a special requirement at your workplace please call the Global Service Center and discuss your situation with a service representative. They will assist you in finding a garment to serve your needs or help you place a special order. All special orders for garments must be placed in quantities of two and must be prepaid. Allow 8-10 weeks for delivery.

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Even though I can't say anything in there was harmful, going into a room and doing and saying things by command made me very uncomfortable. It really came off as a cult ritual to me, and I have grown up in the church!

Yeah; we aren't really big on ritual outside of the temple and so it's a huge shift to not only go through a highly ritualized experience, but have it done under the auspices of Church authority.

Of course, just because something's ritualized doesn't mean it's cultish per se. Ritual is a part of modern life (take, for instance, wedding ceremonies or civil court proceedings); it's just that we're used to those rituals and they don't seem weird anymore.

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I have found that converts have much more positive experiences going through the temple for the first time because they haven't spent their whole life building up in their mind what it's going to be like. My Catholic friend who converted could not have loved it more. I had different expectations, but the more I go, the more I understand. My brother gave me this book as a wedding gift.

Amazon.com: Temple and Cosmos: Beyond This Ignorant Present (The Collected Works of Hugh Nibley, Vol 12 : Ancient History) (9780875795232): Hugh Nibley, Don E. Norton: Books

I highly recommend it! You might have a friend you can borrow it from. Ask around. :)

My very faithful LDS friend had to travel to another country to receive her endowment and get sealed to her husband on the same day. She was very overwhelmed and completely freaked out by it. She loves it now, but she said she even felt angry at her mother. She thought, "How could you tell me this is so wonderful my whole life? How could you bring me here?"

Growing up in the church, we are used to symbolism like the sacrament and the significance of wearing white at baptism, but it's pretty easy to understand. Symbolism in the temple is quite different to me. As you study the scriptures now, you will notice things that are related to the temple.

I did feel very rushed through the first time. I had my mom with me, but we had an escort who felt she had to stay with us and was in a hurry. She wouldn't leave the Celestial room until I left, so I got to spend less than 5 minutes in there and had so many questions. It was also so busy that morning, I was rushed through initiatory and no one told me what they were going to do before they did it. I thought it was a beautiful experience, but I was pretty confused. I was glad I went through it a week before I got married so I would have time to let it all sink in.

Have you prayed about it? That's always the best thing to do. :D

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Hey everybody, I just went through my first endowment this morning. I am getting married next week to a wonderful man who is my best friend (dated for almost 2 years, engaged for 7 months). I am looking for support from any other members who did not have a positive first experience. That may seem like a strange request but I have a fiance and parents and in-laws who talk about the temple like it's the greatest thing they've ever experienced and talking with them is only frustrating me. This is not what I expected to feel a few days before my temple wedding. I need some support from someone who can actually relate to how I am feeling right now.

As slamjet said, you are far from alone in feeling awkward about your first time through the endowment session. It's definitely a foreign thing. I think the problem with your fiance, parents, and in-laws (and all those people in our own lives) is that it's just so easy to forget what it was like the first time. I bet if they really thought about it or read in their journals, they might find that they were also uncomfortable or at the very least uncertain at first. In fact, you should write in your journal about your experience. Obviously, don't share specifics, but share your feelings of confusion, etc. so that when you have a child experiencing them, you can better remember and empathize.

I took my ward's temple prep class, read the pamphlet, took a BYU temples class, and talked about the temple at length albeit in general terms with my bishop and my family. Then I went through today and I felt tricked. I was not prepared for how weird it seemed to me. Even though I can't say anything in there was harmful, going into a room and doing and saying things by command made me very uncomfortable. It really came off as a cult ritual to me, and I have grown up in the church! Add on top of that that I am a pretty circumspect person and I felt surrounded by female temple workers who were projecting emotionally at me and so ANXIOUS for me to like it that I felt I wasn't given a chance to experience my own emotions.

Honestly, I feel like the curriculum for the temple prep class is pretty much pointless. I really do. I didn't learn anything I didn't already know or hadn't already read, and I can't think of one way it helped prepare me for the temple that wasn't already in place.

I think MorningStar had a good point -- growing up in the Church can actually be poor preparation for the logistics and mechanics of what happens in the temple. The entire experience is so romanticized, but no one ever tells you anything that will actually help you wrap your head around what truly happens.* The advice that was given to me was to go back frequently, especially at first. I would advise you to do the same. The more you get used to it, the less weird it will seem.

True confession: I don't enjoy attending the temple. I don't dread it, or dislike it, but I don't get as much out of it as everyone else talks about. (I've been endowed for almost nine years, so I'm not a newbie to it anymore.) People talk about how it's such a wonderful, peaceful, learning experience. For me, I struggle to stay awake, and I don't really learn much. Perhaps that's my own fault, and something I could work on, but I just don't really feel like I get much out of it. I enjoy being in the temple. I actually really love going to the baptistry with my youth (I'm the YW president in my ward). I enjoy sealings and washings/anointings, but I don't enjoy the endowment. And I'm okay with that.

Add on to that that I strongly dislike the garment. I've been reading these forums for the last few hours to try and get some perspective from members on the garment and the temple in general. It looks like it has been discussed ad nauseum on these boards so suffice to say I have a "uniquely" proportioned body that even the measurement lady at the distribution center said would be hard to fit. And I found out in the temple that indeed they didn't fit right, and it's uncomfortable, and my goodness do I feel ugly in them. I have always dressed conservatively and covered myself, and can't really see what underwear has to do with spirituality...especially when I have to wear "worldly" underwear with them anyway to take care of feminine support up top and feminine menstrual needs below. It's not that I didn't know it was coming, but I guess it wasn't so bad when I wasn't wearing them.

I totally hated garments for the first few days. It actually took me several years to find the fabric combination that I really like, that works well for me. At the time I was first endowed, I wore my pants and my hips, but the garments were designed to sit at my waist. I felt like I had two waistlines, and it was really awkward and uncomfortable. After about a week, I was mostly used the them. Like Dravin said, though, you should look into the custom orders. I actually would suggest that you "tough it out" for a couple of weeks or months trying out different fabrics, though, even if they don't fit very well. That way you can place a custom order for fabrics that you know you like (or at the very least, can tolerate).

I am so frustrated right now because I feel like this is nothing at all like the church I experience every Sunday, and I'm not sure I like it all.

The night before I went through the temple for the the first time, my mom decided it was a good time to tell me about the ceremonies and show me the ceremonial clothing (nothing like giving me time to chew it over). At the time, the washing and anointing ceremony was a bit more invasive than it is now. When she described it to me, I kinda freaked out. I almost decided not to go at all, which meant that I couldn't go on the mission I was preparing for, or ever get married in the temple. But it really upset me. I prayed some, and calmed myself down, and got over it. It was a little weird, but not uncomfortable.

I understand that you're confused right now, and not at all at ease. If you have a good relationship with your mom, I would suggest talking to her, and prefacing the conversation by asking her to think back to when she very first went through the temple. I also think you need to share your feelings with your fiance. I don't know how serious your concern is -- are you just uncomfortable and need to wrap your head around it, or is your testimony fundamentally shaken? If it's the latter, it's only fair that you share with him. If there's any inkling that you might choose to leave the Church (and you wouldn't be the first who did so in the wake of issues with the temple, though I can't myself understand that), then you need to tell him. If it's the former, still share with him that you're upset, and you need reassurance. Ask him to remember his first time, too.

*(For those who may be reading this who haven't been through an LDS temple ceremony or have questions, I recognize that this probably sounds all very cryptic and perhaps even suspicious. I can assure you that nothing untoward occurs in our temples. Ceremonies are ritualistic, but not cultish. They are symbolic, and difficult to grasp the first time.)

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For me, rather than being weird, I was "that was it?" I truly enjoyed going to the temple, but I had read the aforemtioned "Temple and Cosmos" a few years prior and have a very symbolic mind and even those things didn't help much. I actually love ritual, but I guess it's impossible to be completely prepared.

My advice? Don't overthink it or over worry. It's an ongoing lesson you have your whole life to prepare for. While this is extremely important, your testimony of the gospel should not depend on how much you enjoyed it the first time, so don't force yourself. Go and go prayerfully, but don't be forcing yourself to understand or even love everything.

As for garments... I think I adjusted pretty fast. I kind of missed wearing "cute" underwear but then again.... is it such a big deal? I don't want this to come out wrong but aside from being very symbolic... it's kind of just underwear. Remember its meaning and importance, and let it go.

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The first time I went to the temple, I was totally unprepared. I didn't know anything except that you wore white in the temple and afterwards you would be wearing garments. I didn't attend a temple prep class, read any pamphlets, or even have a one-on-one with my mother. I was definitely a little "weirded out" by the whole experience--especially the washing and anointing. And even the endowment was frightening to me--I didn't know I would have to make such strong promises. I've grown up in the church, so the garment wasn't strange. It did take me several years to find the fabric I liked and the style that worked best for me. And new fabrics come out occasionally, and I've switched fabrics just this past year.

For me, what helped the most was regular attendance to the temple. Through the years I've learned to appreciate the lessons that are taught in the temple. If I go with an open mind, I still learn something new. And the reinforcement (repeatedly hearing what I already know), is also helpful to me, and reminds me how important the covenants are that I make with the Lord.

Just know that you are not alone in your feelings. My heart goes out to you. Also know that the sealing ceremony is wonderful. I'm glad you were able to take out your endowments separately from when you are being sealed. This way you can fully appreciate your temple sealing/wedding without the stress of the endowment. All the advice you've received is good--especially prayer. Good luck in your upcoming marriage!

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The best thing my dad did for me to prepare me, and he was nervous about doing this, was the day before, while we were alone, he pulled out the Temple clothing and let me see them (no, he didn't put them on, he let me see them). He then told me, in simple terms, what each one was for. So when I went, I wasn't as freaked out as I could have been.

I plan on doing that with my kids. It takes a bit off the shock of the whole thing.

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And even the endowment was frightening to me--I didn't know I would have to make such strong promises.

I'd had a boyfriend who told me once that the promises you make in the endowment really aren't all that different than those you make when you're baptized. That comforted me -- there wouldn't really be anything new that I had to agree to that I didn't already know about. The gravity and manner are much more serious, though.

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Guest mirancs8

When I went through the Temple for the first time the only word that describes the feeling would be overwhelmed. My Bishop told me to not try and remember but to feel the spirit. Easier said then done for a person like me:D. I was overwhelmed with how I was going to remember it all. Like the feeling that you get when you think you'll later be expected to take an exam. My suggestion don't do that. My Bishop was right;)

On top of that when I entered the Celestial room I was greeted by many from my Ward. That too was completely overwhelming, and it didn't give me an opportunity to really enjoy being in there. However I was very touched and happy to see them. The next time I went I took 2 friends and that was perfect.

What helps me is consistently going to the Temple. Each time I go to the Temple I am blessed more and more. As for the garments, yes it was strange for a bit but now I can't even imagine not having them on. It's become a part of me.

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When I went through the 1st time, I trusted the Spirit, but I admit... it was different.

It was "Old Testament" to me.

Old Testament Student Manual Genesis - 2 Samuel

Take a look at the cover of the Old Testament Institute Manual:

Posted Image

What seems to help is to remember that we are in the dispensation of the fullness of times - where it will ALL aspects of the gospel are to be revealed and used during this dispensation.

There are some ordinances that must be performed exactly word-for-word: sacramental prayers and baptism are such ordinances. The ordinances in the temple are also done according to a specific pattern and order.

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For me, the first time was very strange. The clothing, the endowment, everything seemed like it was from another planet. I remember thinking to myself: is this really the same Church I joined just 3 years ago?

Now, 30 years later, I greatly love the endowment. But it is because I've studied about it, studied the ancient forms, the symbolism, and the meaning of all of it. And as I've continued to attend, the strangeness of it went away, and I became more accustomed to it. In reality, it is less strange now than it was prior to 1991 when major pieces of symbolism were eliminated because non-Christian converts from around the world would not have understood it.

The key concept is that you are practicing to return into God's presence. All of the symbolism points to that event.

So, relax and take your time in adjusting to it. Soon you will also feel the peace and Spirit that comes with it.

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Hey everybody, I just went through my first endowment this morning. I am getting married next week to a wonderful man who is my best friend (dated for almost 2 years, engaged for 7 months). I am looking for support from any other members who did not have a positive first experience. That may seem like a strange request but I have a fiance and parents and in-laws who talk about the temple like it's the greatest thing they've ever experienced and talking with them is only frustrating me. This is not what I expected to feel a few days before my temple wedding. I need some support from someone who can actually relate to how I am feeling right now.

I took my ward's temple prep class, read the pamphlet, took a BYU temples class, and talked about the temple at length albeit in general terms with my bishop and my family. Then I went through today and I felt tricked. I was not prepared for how weird it seemed to me. Even though I can't say anything in there was harmful, going into a room and doing and saying things by command made me very uncomfortable. It really came off as a cult ritual to me, and I have grown up in the church! Add on top of that that I am a pretty circumspect person and I felt surrounded by female temple workers who were projecting emotionally at me and so ANXIOUS for me to like it that I felt I wasn't given a chance to experience my own emotions.

Add on to that that I strongly dislike the garment. I've been reading these forums for the last few hours to try and get some perspective from members on the garment and the temple in general. It looks like it has been discussed ad nauseum on these boards so suffice to say I have a "uniquely" proportioned body that even the measurement lady at the distribution center said would be hard to fit. And I found out in the temple that indeed they didn't fit right, and it's uncomfortable, and my goodness do I feel ugly in them. I have always dressed conservatively and covered myself, and can't really see what underwear has to do with spirituality...especially when I have to wear "worldly" underwear with them anyway to take care of feminine support up top and feminine menstrual needs below. It's not that I didn't know it was coming, but I guess it wasn't so bad when I wasn't wearing them.

I am so frustrated right now because I feel like this is nothing at all like the church I experience every Sunday, and I'm not sure I like it all.

Insights appreciated :(

I've read through the entire thread. There are some great replies here.

I have a suggestion and hopefully you can take the time to before your marriage to maybe do this: Go to the temple, by yourself or with a friend or parent or relative (someone who you feel can answer questions and not be freaked out because you are questioning). If you wait until after the wedding you'll have all the "weirdness" of being married to deal with too.

First, fast and pray, or at least pray.

Second, If you have the time for an endowment session great, but if not just go to the celestial room.

(Many times when my shift as a clothing worker at the Ogden temple was finished, I would go upstairs and spend 15-20 minutes in the celestial room. Some temple workers insist on an endowment session prior to entering the celestial room, but its not necessary. Some temples do require the priesthood clothing to be worn in the celestial room and others do not. If you are not doing a endowment session there isn't a need to have the priesthood clothing on to go in and pray. However, you must wear white to be anywhere in the temple other than the lobby. changing room or cafeteria. I am mentioning all this because its different from temple to temple and temple worker to temple worker. Follow the policies of the temple you're attending and don't get hung up on it. If you can just go up to the celestial room, pray and talk to someone you won't be overwhelmed again. The most important part is to get to the celestial room.)

Third, while you are there, talk to Heavenly Father as if He is in the same room with you. He is there! If you have questions, ask them. Ask Heavenly Father, or ask whomever goes with you... OR ask to speak to a temple matron. Explain your concerns and your feelings. These feelings are not new or unique. While you're there don't spend all the time praying and talking. Take some time to Listen! Just sit and listen. Ponder. Let the spirit enter your heart. There is no other place on earth where the spirit can talk to us as directly as in the Temple.

Fourth, take your time. Do not rush this. If it takes an hour, then it takes an hour.

I do understand your concerns. It is all a big change even when we are "prepared."

Best Wishes!!

Edited by applepansy
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I like a lot of the suggestions already given.

Kinda off topic but maybe not, one thing I wish I had done between my endowment and sealing (they were in different months) is attend a sealing. I went in cold not knowing what to expect.

I didn't find the temple uncomfortable. If anything I found it a little amusing and odd. Unlike some of those that had seen the clothing before going in I had not. I don't care for the men's caps. I was also among the group that found it all to be a bit of a let down. I had been told how beautiful and wonderful it was and I just didn't really see it. I found the most beautiful and spiritual part to be the initiatory and to be honest I think it lost a lot with the changes. So I know right off I'm an odd ball when it comes to these things. Not sure I can be of the most help.

I love love love just sitting in the celestial room. If I could go and just be there without the pressure that I'm supposed to "do" something I'd go all the time.

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I went to the temple for the first time back whe the sessions included more things like references to punishments if you didn't keep your covenants. That was way weird. I thought this is not the same church I grew up in either. You used the term tricked. I felt very similar. I had no preperation for what I went through. Then I got shipped off on a mission to sit and think about that experience for 2 years before I was able to go again. Very foreign. I don't get all warm an fuzzy about going to the temple either. I enjoy doing sealings and being reminded of the covenants I made a t marriage and doing baptisms for the dead. I understand all that. Not sure the endowment and washing and annointings still make much sense to me. I am a man so the garment thing is no big deal. I understand what you are saying about the female garment though. My wife has said the same thing. At least we have options our parents and grand parents didn't.

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I like a lot of the suggestions already given.

Kinda off topic but maybe not, one thing I wish I had done between my endowment and sealing (they were in different months) is attend a sealing. I went in cold not knowing what to expect.

I didn't find the temple uncomfortable. If anything I found it a little amusing and odd. Unlike some of those that had seen the clothing before going in I had not. I don't care for the men's caps. I was also among the group that found it all to be a bit of a let down. I had been told how beautiful and wonderful it was and I just didn't really see it. I found the most beautiful and spiritual part to be the initiatory and to be honest I think it lost a lot with the changes. So I know right off I'm an odd ball when it comes to these things. Not sure I can be of the most help.

I love love love just sitting in the celestial room. If I could go and just be there without the pressure that I'm supposed to "do" something I'd go all the time.

Gwen, it is absolutely OK to go and just sit in the celestial room. The key is shedding the feelings of guilt. Let me put it in a different light. While you are in the celstial room what are you doing? Just sitting admiring the chandelier? Most are there to listen to the spirit, to pray, to ponder, etc. These things are just as important, especially in the world we live in today, as doing the proxy work.

Suggestion for if you can't shed the guilty feelings: Do 1/2 hour of initiatory and then spend an hour or so in the celestial room :)

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Gwen, it is absolutely OK to go and just sit in the celestial room. The key is shedding the feelings of guilt. Let me put it in a different light. While you are in the celstial room what are you doing? Just sitting admiring the chandelier? Most are there to listen to the spirit, to pray, to ponder, etc. These things are just as important, especially in the world we live in today, as doing the proxy work.

Suggestion for if you can't shed the guilty feelings: Do 1/2 hour of initiatory and then spend an hour or so in the celestial room :)

I don't really feel all that guilty for it. It's putting up with the comments and questions from others (especially my husband) about why I didn't do something. I usually just do a sealing session. I go to a smaller temple, people notice if you don't "do" anything.

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I don't really feel all that guilty for it. It's putting up with the comments and questions from others (especially my husband) about why I didn't do something. I usually just do a sealing session. I go to a smaller temple, people notice if you don't "do" anything.

I'm sorry to hear that they don't consider praying and pondering as doing something. :(

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Gwen, I never had that problem at the temple in B'ham.

For me, the endowment is spectacular. I can meditate just as easily during the endowment as I can sitting in the Celestial room. Most of my revelation and inspiration comes while during the session, in fact. For me, it is instructive in how to return to God's presence. I've begun to understand the symbolism of each piece of temple clothing, the tokens and signs, and the symbolisms within the video and even the rooms. Of course, the symbolic entrance into God's presence is the ultimate experience, and when I prepare my mind as I go into that room, it is as if I really am entering His presence.

For me, the entire rite from initiatory and endowment to the sealing are all necessary

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Gwen, I never had that problem at the temple in B'ham.

For me, the endowment is spectacular. I can meditate just as easily during the endowment as I can sitting in the Celestial room. Most of my revelation and inspiration comes while during the session, in fact. For me, it is instructive in how to return to God's presence. I've begun to understand the symbolism of each piece of temple clothing, the tokens and signs, and the symbolisms within the video and even the rooms. Of course, the symbolic entrance into God's presence is the ultimate experience, and when I prepare my mind as I go into that room, it is as if I really am entering His presence.

For me, the entire rite from initiatory and endowment to the sealing are all necessary

That's wonderful. I can't wait until I am able to be endowed. I love the concept of entering into the presence of God into the temple, since it reminds me of the Shekinah in the OT tabernacle and temples. I was also reading the dedicatory prayer of the Manhattan Temple, and I loved this part-

"We offer them to Thee with faith and thanksgiving. Wilt Thou accept of them and cause Thy Holy Spirit to dwell here. We pray that within these hallowed walls there may be found peace and an environment of communion with Thee. May this temple be a place of quiet refuge in the midst of this great and noisy metropolis. May all who enter its portals feel they have stepped from the world into a place of Thy divine presence."

In browsing other temple dedication prayers, I found similar prayers invoking the presence of the Holy Spirit in the temple, asking the Spirit to dwell there, the temple being the "abode of God", etc.

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Yes it's odd. I don't know anyone who "got it" the very first time. Luckily my mom warned me about the men's hats or I might have burst out in giggles. Keep going back! Go regularly and often and it will start to make more sense. I went for the first time 28 years ago. Each time is a different experience, even though it's exactly the same. I learn something different every time. Certain phrases will jump out at me and I know that's what I'm supposed to ponder and learn that time. I especially love to do washings and annointings. What beautiful blessings! Also, it takes on a different meaning when you start doing endowments for someone else- which you will the next time you go. It will always be for someone else and that takes the pressure off a little (for me anyway.)

I remember a bit later in life after I started having kids and life got very complex, feeling like there was no way I could keep those covenants I had made and why hadn't someone told me exactly what I would be promising beforehand. Why don't they give us a chance to think about it a while before having to promise, like you would before getting baptized? I mean who really would ever just walk out of the temple in the middle of the endowment session cause they weren't in the mood to commit. I'm sure some have but that would really take guts. In fact I don't really think I even realized what I had promised afterward cause the whole first experience was so unusual.

But I'm at the point now, after so many years of attending the temple, that I realize that the promises we make are serious. But God is a loving father and understands our weaknesses and our imperfections. He wants us to keep working at it daily. Going to the temple often is a good reminder of the eternal nature of the progress we'll make. I don't think He expects us to understand and be perfect after just one temple experience.

Hang in there. It gets better.

Edited by carlimac
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Gwen, I never had that problem at the temple in B'ham.

Have you ever gone and done no proxy work? lol Unfortunately like all temples it can sometimes be who is on staff. I've had many wonderful experiences at the temple. I've also had a couple pretty sour ones.

Also if you notice my first comment I said the fussing was mostly from my husband. He's the type that thinks if you don't get to go from the time it opens till close and do the maximum amount of work then it wasn't a productive day. And we need that type of person. How would the proxy work ever get done if they didn't exist? I can handle it on occasion but not all the time. We had a wonderful experience on our honey moon where we planned a day at the temple. We had about 100 family file names, 50/50 men/women. We went in the morning, got all the baptisms and initiatory, and a hand full of the endowments and sealings done by the end of the day. My husband would love to do that every time we go. I take a different approach to the temple.

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I thought it was odd at first too. I admit I didn't feel as weird as you do, but it wasn't what I expected.

Hear's my 2 cents:

Keep in mind a great deal of it is litterally an intruction and almost a practice run on getting into the Celetral Kingdom. Thus some of the rituals.

The washings and annointings are no more ritualistic as the baptism or the sacrement. Just more blessings.

The garment takes getting used to, for sure, but you do get used to it. I promise. Although I still don't feel real cute in them, I realize that is not the point of them.

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