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Vort

In ten years I'll look back and laugh. (Or not.)

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My workplace provides shower rooms in many of its buildings so that employees who bike into work (or for whatever other reason) can use the shower. About an hour ago, I availed myself of this small luxury. I put my clothes in a locker, which is equipped with an electronic, PIN-activated lock. But this being a place of business, filled with fellow adults, and with other lockers standing open with stuff in them, I felt no need to bother with locking it for the ten minutes or so I'd be in the shower.

Oops.

When I came back to the locker, toweling off, lo and behold, the locker was locked. And since I didn't know the PIN that whoever locked it used, I couldn't get in. To, you know, get my clothes. Or underwear.

Or cell phone.

So there goes Vort, parading through the office building in the nude, with only a towel wrapped around his loins, to the receptionist at the front desk, who burst out laughing and said she'd call physical facilities. Back to the locker room, head down, towel firmly in place, while others in the building try hard not to be obvious in looking at the strange naked guy walking through the place. (Fortunately, I only "squat" in this building rather than work here permanently, so I don't actually know anyone.)

An eternity later (actually about 20 or 30 minutes -- not sure, seeing as how my watch was locked in the locker, but it sure seemed like an eternity), the physical facilities guy showed up to let me in my locker. Keys, phone, wallet with credit cards still in place.

Ha, ha! What a great joke! I'm sure I'll be laughing about it sometime in the 2020s.

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You needed a more traumatic middle-school experience, Vort. Mine provided me with a host of deeply-ingrained habits (everything from carrying my key in my mouth, to not closing the locker door until I've tried to unlock it while open) to prevent such embarassment.

That limits my stories to "Had to go get ribbed by the security people to get a temporary badge allowing me access to my locker", and "Got locked out in my gym clothes, had a pair of bolt-cutters remove the problem in 10 minutes."

I have, however, thought very specifically about your situation, and decided if I encounter someone like you, I will be kind. Golden Rule and all that.

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Can we tell stories here of cow-orkers?

I had one cow-orker, let's call her Jane, who came up to me around noon one day. She leaned over to tell me that she had had an accident in her underwear. I glanced at her and noticed she was wearing a dress (past her knees, thankfully). Jane said that she went to the bathroom to rinse out her underwear. Jane then took them outside the office building to hang them in the bush near a window of another company.

Once they dried, she then went to the same bush (remember, this is outdoors and about a foot away from the window to another company) to retrieve her underwear and then proceeded TO PUT THEM ON RIGHT THERE! When I asked her why she didn't go to the bathroom (or for that matter, why not take the 5 minute drive to Walmart to buy new ones), she said that she was discreet. She was behind the bush to put them on. When I pointed out that behind the bush meant in full view of whomever was in the office, she just stared at me. Apparently the big window didn't register that it was a window through which others could see her shimmying on her underwear....

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Can we also talk about embarrassed moments either we ourselves had not at work...

This happened to me when I was a teenager - I don't remember the exact age, but I was in high school. My family just arrived at church and my skirt got caught in the door. I didn't realize it until I walked away and got tripped with my skirt falling down to my ankles. Most of the other members were showing up at the same time. I still blush remembering that experience even thought I quickly covered myself again and my dad unlocked the car to release my skirt.

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. . . with only a towel wrapped around his loins. . . .

I don't know why, but I find it hilarious you used the word "loins." :D

Your story reminded me of the time I was waiting for the elevator, along with the other 1,352,564 people who worked in my building, when suddenly my wrap-around skirt unwrapped itself and fell to the floor. :blush: Luckily I was wearing underwear that day!

Interestingly, I got an unexpected promotion the next week, plus about ten date requests. I was a hot tamale at the time.

Okay, I'm lying about the promotion. :P

Elph

Edited by Elphaba

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So there goes Vort, parading through the office building in the nude, with only a towel wrapped around his loins, to the receptionist at the front desk, who burst out laughing and said she'd call physical facilities. Back to the locker room, head down, towel firmly in place, while others in the building try hard not to be obvious in looking at the strange naked guy walking through the place.

Vort! You're a dude?!?:eek:

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You needed a more traumatic middle-school experience, Vort.

I'm sure you're right, LM. An even more hellish junior high school and high school experience would doubtless have helped me negotiate yesterday's fiasco with more aplomb, or perhaps avoid it altogether (by going postal years ago, perhaps).

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Vort! You're a dude?!?:eek:

If not, my wife will be greatly dismayed, and our five children will find themselves in an existential dilemma.

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Vort, I think I might have stayed where I was until I saw someone go past and get them to go to reception :D

A few years back, I did some work at the preston temple in the accommodation centre. Everything had just calmed down from the morning rush, when a large middle aged man walked calmly up to the reception desk in nothing but his temple garments - in full view of everyone. It turns out that he had tried to discreetly leave his room and pop into the stock room next door to his in order to get some toilet roll. Only he had managed to lock himself out of his room in the process. The only place he could get a master key was obviously reception, where the most people were congregated.

The most amusing part of it was how calm and unfazed he was about it, regardless of people gawping at him. Being as tall as he was, he stood out prior to being semi-naked in public. It was much akin to arnold schwarzenegger walking into the bar naked at the start of terminator 3.

Edited by Mahone

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At one point in my life I lost a lot of weight (had lap band surgery) and was continuing to loose so I could not afford to keep up on purchasing new smaller clothes every month or so. My clothes were often a size or 2 too big for me, I always wore a belt to keep my pants on, however I must have stood up too quickly at work once and my pants didn't stand up with me.

I quickly pulled them up and looked around - I don't think anyone saw what happened - no one said anything at least. I went out that night and got some new pants in the correct size.

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After such an experience, one might feel the urge to throw in the towel.

I'm sure there must be some way to work this story into testimony meeting ...... :lol:

You had better not.

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Of course not! Not with my fear of public speaking. I would only use that info for blackmail. :P

Seriously. Not sayin' a word. I was thinking you could make it into a spiritual moment though.

I'm sure my quorum brethren would be deeply touched by my spiritual enlightenment from this experience.

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"The locker beguiled me..."

"I beheldst that I was naked..."

Alma 43:20

and they were naked, save it were a skin which was girded about their loins

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LOL - it reminds me of something that happened to me a few years ago when I was at a conference at the Rutherford Appleton Laboratory (at Abingdon, near Oxford, England). The night before the conference there was a big party involving much food and drink a the nearby pub. I finally got back to my room about midnight and slept peacefully for a couple of hours, but then awoke severely needing the bathroom. The rooms were NOT en suite, so I had to go out into the corridor wearing only my underpants to find bathroom - then returned (bladder much relieved) to discover that the door had locked after me.

So I was stuck in the corridor, locked out of my room. I went off to reception to find the night porter. but this was in a different building on the other side of the river. I had to cross the moonlit bridge barefoot and wearing only my Y-fronts. I found reception and rang the bell.

Nothing happened.

Rang bell again. Still silence. With growing feeling of dread, it occurred to me that perhaps the reception was not manned overnight.

Big problem....

There was however a wooden board fixed to the wall behind the desk, covered with hooks, and from each hook hung a number of keys. So I collected them up, returned back across the bridge, went back up to my room and tried every single key in the door. While I was doing this a very angry woman came out of the next room and shouted at me to "stop making so much noise". The fact that *she* (who had a nice cozy room to go back to) should be complaining to *me* (who didn't) made me rather unsympathetic to her plight, and I told her crossly that I'd "stop when I found the right key to get into my room".

None of the keys fitted - So I had no option but to return to reception and sleep in a corner wrapped up in an old waterproof coat I'd found lying around - until someone arrived the next morning who could let me back into my room.

By the way, I had a good laugh with the "angry woman" the next day. She told me she saw the funny side once she saw me through her window, going back over the bridge dressed in only my underpants!

Edited by Jamie123

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A postscript of sorts: I walked into the building a few minutes ago and greeted the receptionist, who welcomed me with a friendly smile (and no noticeable mockery). I told her I didn't have too much fear of being spotted back again in this building. When she asked why not, I told her I doubted most of the people would recognize me with my clothes on. She laughingly agreed.

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I'm sure my quorum brethren would be deeply touched by my spiritual enlightenment from this experience.

Just might WAKE up those snoozing HPriests! :D

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Lets see, my most embaresing moment, I was in PE highschool, up for bat at first base inside the gym with tennis racket. When the ball was pitched to me, I hit it as hard as I could with both hands. I was running to second base, when half the class was on the ground laughing out loud. My teacher was bursting in Laughter and I said what?? He said your out!! LOL your out!!

See, I thought I nailed that tennis ball way to the back corner of the gym were it would get trapped by the gymnastics mats. Instead, I nailed that ball and it went square into the pitchers nuts! He was stooped over making baby steps with his eyes bulging out of his eye sockets.

I was embarrassed because I did not know ;)

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