Disruptive Sunday School Student

[Sunday21]

Dear Friends,

I share the teaching of a Young Adult Sunday school class. My friend has the calling but she is overstressed so she is often out of town and asks me to fill in. One of the students is disruptive. I have talked to both parents and they remind me of her chronic health problems. Fair enough but through observation, I would say that the student enjoys control, perhaps because she can not control the health problems. The mother has said that we should talk to the student but the student fully knows that she is disruptive and enjoys being so. I feel like declining to help my friend by taking this class...but my friend would be sad. I doubt that anyone else would take this class. The Sunday school president's testimony is shaky so he does not want any trouble. Personally, I feel that if your child is disruptive in class on an on-going basis, and this the case regardless of teacher, then you get to have said child sitting right next to you in your Sunday school class. I have obtained a small victory in that the child is no longer allowed to bring her ipod to class.

Any suggestions? Should I no longer take this class for my friend?

[Vort]

The child's parents should attend class with her until she settles down. Every week that she acts up, the parent should be summoned and should sit in class with her. This is typically sufficient to calm children down, but whether it works or not, the child is the parent's responsibility.

[MsMagnolia]

How old is the age group you are teaching? I teach the 16 and 17 year old class and had to address the cell phone issue right up front. They can only use cell phones and ipods if they are using them to read scriptures. Class engagement helps a lot also If you are actively asking thoughtful questions and not "spoon feeding" them the answers they will become more engaged in the learning process. Sometimes you do have to take the child aside and have a heart to heart talk with them about how they can help invite the spirit into the classroon or drive it away. They need to understand they have the responsibility to learn. As it is not really your calling it will be a harder situation because each calling comes with the ability from HF to fufill it. I wish you all the best in your heard situation and you probably need to have a talk with your friend about the class as well.

Just my thoughts

Mags

[Soulsearcher]

I agree with Vort. I sat in on Youth meeting with a 13-14 yr old boy to keep him out of trouble. Before i started sitting in he was on the verge of being unable to attend, after i joined in He became a model youth and the teachers loved having him there.

[Maureen]

...I share the teaching of a Young Adult Sunday school class....One of the students is disruptive....Personally, I feel that if your child is disruptive in class on an on-going basis, and this the case regardless of teacher, then you get to have said child sitting right next to you in your Sunday school class. I have obtained a small victory in that the child is no longer allowed to bring her ipod to class....

My post is just out of curiousity. If the students are under the age of 18, why is the class called a Young Adult SS class? Why not call it a Youth SS class? :)

M.

[Vort]

My post is just out of curiousity. If the students are under the age of 18, why is the class called a Young Adult SS class? Why not call it a Youth SS class? :)

M.

I believe Sunday misspoke. In LDS parlance, "young adult" means 18 to about 30. This was probably a youth class, as you say.

[Vort]

For youth, the mere threat of having a parent in the class (spoken privately, and not in a threatening manner) is usually sufficient motivation for the student to shape up. You want to be careful not to drive youth away by humiliating them, of course; but if she's being disruptive, you have to do what needs to be done.

[NeuroTypical]

One of the students is disruptive. I have talked to both parents and they remind me of her chronic health problems.

On behalf of all the well-behaved people out there with chronic health problems, these parents sound like the problem.

What a crock. Health problems do not mean free ride to be a jerk. Unless 'chronic health problems' means behavioral issues, this kid is capable of being good. Appropriate consequences and lots of love work wonders. Free reign and zero consequences is not love.

[Echo2002]

We were having problems with a 4 year old in our class, he just would not quit talking during the lesson and would always tell us "no" if we asked him to be quiet. Several times he he hit us if we tried to make him sit. We talked to the Bishop about it and he said we are not babysitters, if the kid is acting up take him to his parents and let them deal with him. The kid was being a butt through the whole lesson so I took him to his father, of course his father acted like we were the bad guys and his son never had any discipline problems. It's a Sunday school class, not a daycare, I say send the girl to her parents if she is disrupting the class, no matter how old she is.

There are too many parents believing their child has ADD or ADHD or whatever behavioral problem they have nowdays. Children are just testing their boundaries and seeing what they can get away with. Of course I know there are some children who really do have a problem, but I don't think it is as widespread as people believe.

[slamjet]

My one child has ADHD and Asperger's. She stayed in mom's primary class until she was comfortable moving on. But we have a level of expectation for her that's the same for all our kids; BEHAVE IN CLASS! She does. But there are times when she get's really ramped up (getting less and less, but it still happens) so depending on the severity, she stay's with mom, or is brought home. We don't want to torture the teacher with it.

I know the one time my son's teacher talked to mom, he got a earful from mom, every one of his siblings and me. No more problems since then.

[MsMagnolia]

. But we have a level of expectation for her that's the same for all our kids; BEHAVE IN CLASS! She does. But there are times when she get's really ramped up (getting less and less, but it still happens) so depending on the severity, she stay's with mom, or is brought home. We don't want to torture the teacher with it.

I know the one time my son's teacher talked to mom, he got a earful from mom, every one of his siblings and me. No more problems since then.

From teachers everywhere I applaud you for having this expectation!

[WilliamK]

When I was the Sunday school president of our ward there was a boy who consistently ruined the teacher's lessons. He didn't have autism or any other condition making it difficult for him to control himself. He was just a rude little punk. I expressed my concerns to his father and suggested that maybe he be pulled out of the class when he insisted on clowning around and preventing anyone else from learning. His father responded "maybe some teachers need to just do their jobs and control their classrooms". He was the bishop lol. Anyway - the kid remained the arrogant obnoxious little punk all the way leading up to his farewell. Well, guess what? Home he came without explanation after 4 or 5 months and hung out with all of us for a while before going back. No judgment here, just wondering what would have been different had he been called on his behavior when he was 15....

[Guest]

There are parents that, from nursery on, consider their kids the teachers' problem until church is over. I was in the situation of taking a violent, disruptive child to her mother and she told me that it wasn't her problem until xx:00. I didn't really know what to say and ended up taking her back to nursery and holding her on my lap every week, until the husband of another nursery worker had mercy on us and would come in even though it wasn't his calling to deal with this one child. Years later when I was called to be Primary music leader, Surprise! She was still a little stink. As are the other kids in that family.

[JudoMinja]

Health problems or no, everyone should be expected to be respectful and behave properly. For those who legitimately have behavioral difficulties, this will take more work, but it should still be expected! Making exceptions just perpetuates the problem.

As the teacher, YOU are in control of your classroom. You decide what you will and will not tolerate. If a child is being disruptive or difficult, make it clear that such is not tolerated. I have done this before with younger classes and it works wonderfully- put a chair outside the door and have the child go sit in the hall. Make it something like a "time out". The number of minutes they have to sit there will be the same as their age. Then let them come back in the classroom. If the disruptive behavior continues, put them back in the hall.

This works best if you make your rules and expectations in the classroom very clear to your students. Have a list- "This is what I expect you to do ____. This is what I expect you to NOT do ___." If they don't comly and/or want to fight you on it, they have to sit in the hall. I honestly think it works better than getting the parents involved, because a lot of times the parents just don't know how to get their children to behave and that is part of the problem. I only involved parents if the behavior was very extreme and/or continuous. And if I knew the child had some kind of issue that contributed to their bad behavior, I would do my best to make modifications that would make it easier for them to behave, but I would NOT lower my expectations for behavior.

[applepansy]

When I was the Sunday school president of our ward there was a boy who consistently ruined the teacher's lessons. He didn't have autism or any other condition making it difficult for him to control himself. He was just a rude little punk. I expressed my concerns to his father and suggested that maybe he be pulled out of the class when he insisted on clowning around and preventing anyone else from learning. His father responded "maybe some teachers need to just do their jobs and control their classrooms". He was the bishop lol. Anyway - the kid remained the arrogant obnoxious little punk all the way leading up to his farewell. Well, guess what? Home he came without explanation after 4 or 5 months and hung out with all of us for a while before going back. No judgment here, just wondering what would have been different had he been called on his behavior when he was 15....

All children who misbehave are missing something. They don't need to be autistic or have other issues. Sometimes they just need attention. Maybe this child wasn't getting the attention he needed from his father who was so busy being bishop. Its sad that the bishop didn't step up to his responsibility as father.

A supportive primary presidency is helpful too.

[Sunday21]

Thanks! What would you do with a spoiled 17 year old? This girl would quite enjoy spending a lesson in the hall. She answers questions in a rude tone but doesn't throw things or stuff like that. There are 3 people who teach this class and she is the same to all of us. We all dread her because she destroys the spirit. It is tough as there is no single teacher in charge of the class.

[Guest]

Thanks! What would you do with a spoiled 17 year old? This girl would quite enjoy spending a lesson in the hall. She answers questions in a rude tone but doesn't throw things or stuff like that. There are 3 people who teach this class and she is the same to all of us. We all dread her because she destroys the spirit. It is tough as there is no single teacher in charge of the class.

Then let her enjoy the hallway and let the rest of the class enjoy the class without her disruptions. It's not about punishing her to make her miserable, it's about correcting the problem.

[JudoMinja]

Then let her enjoy the hallway and let the rest of the class enjoy the class without her disruptions. It's not about punishing her to make her miserable, it's about correcting the problem.

Took the words right out of my mouth, haha. :)

[applepansy]

Then let her enjoy the hallway and let the rest of the class enjoy the class without her disruptions. It's not about punishing her to make her miserable, it's about correcting the problem.

I completely agree. If she would enjoy the hall, then let her. Eventually she'll figure it out. Just remember to add a great big dose of love with the discipline.

[Iggy]

Thanks! What would you do with a spoiled 17 year old? This girl would quite enjoy spending a lesson in the hall. She answers questions in a rude tone but doesn't throw things or stuff like that. There are 3 people who teach this class and she is the same to all of us. We all dread her because she destroys the spirit. It is tough as there is no single teacher in charge of the class.

Each time she disrupts the spirit, have someone give a prayer inviting the spirit back. Worked for the YW group when I was secretary. The leader would say: Well, did you all feel that? The Holy Ghost has left because of <insert comment, or what had been done to drive the spirit away->, Sister YW 1st Counselor, will you please offer a prayer for His return, and for ALL of us to keep spiritual thoughts, words and actions this day?

This may involve doing it most of the lesson time, but it needs to be done EACH and every time she disrupts the class.

Took a month of doing this for her to finally vent her intense anger. Once she vented, we were able to address her problem OUTSIDE of the classroom, and the disruptions ended. She was a joy to have in YW.

Getting the child to admit and address the reason behind the disruptive behavior is necessary. Are they mad at Mom & Dad for dragging them to church. Do they dislike someone in class? Another child? Or one of the teachers? Or like what has already been mentioned- are they screaming for discipline?

It was me that was the catalyst in getting the YW to explain the reason behind her rude & crude behavior. That Sunday I was overly hot, tired, and in a really bad mood- mostly caused by her and her foul mouthed acting out- I blurted out: What have any of us ever done to you to make you treat us like this? What have I done? She yelled at me: Why should I be nice - I don't even want to be here- If I want to eat at all next week, I HAVE TO COME TO CHURCH. No going to church on Sunday, no food during the week.

YW Pres and the Bishop dealt with single Mom's really bad choice of getting daughter to Church.