Do I need to leave?


thealienthing

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So I've been working out in Vancouver, Washington for the last few months selling attic insulation door to door. I knew beforehand about what I was getting myself into, but I prayed dilligently for an answer of whether I should work there or not and the spirit told me that it was where I needed to be this summer. Its a very high paying job, and I'm not bad at it, but its terribly difficult and I've been holding out for the last month and a half just telling myself "work harder...". To be perfectly honest, the only days where I feel completely at peace are on sundays, because they are the only days that I don't work. Every day when I get home from knocking on doors for hours and crawling through attics, I come home so relieved that I get to stop.

I'm only 18 years old and I took on this job so that I could pay for my terribly high tuition at Southern Virginia University. I'm so very behind on money and I have so much pressure on me from all sides to succede and remain financially independent. I dread going to work everyday. Is that even healthy? Don't get me wrong, I love some parts of my job, but I feel as if I'm failing at being happy. My job doesn't provide me with adequate satisfaction and not enough money because I earn commission rather than salary.

My church life has been not much better. I attend a single adult ward and I am definitely the youngest attendee in the ward. Most of the people in my ward that I spend my time with are older than me by 5 or 6 years, and as if my opinions and participation in conversation doesn't matter to them. All in all, I'm very lonely.

I almost had a mental breakdown today so I left work early and sat down in a cemetery for about two and a half hours with my scriptures. I read a lot and a prayed a lot... about my job, my peers where i currently live, my financial situation, my parents and my real friends back home. I'm praying so hard about whether I'm supposed to go home and find another job and finally find a degree of peace and happiness or stick out my job for the rest of my summer. I don't know if the voices in my head are telling me to stay or go. On top of that, I don't know if those voices in my head belong to the still small voice or my own mind. I want to be impartial.

There is good news to be shared though. I have changed so much for the better since I moved to Vancouver. My spirit has grown. I have become a more mature and independent person and I have learned to love and respect myself a lot more than I used to be capable of.

What can I do?

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Sometimes, when the Lord gives us revelation about what we should do, he doesn't give any more until what He asked us to do in the previous revelation has been done. I think once you complete that job that you prayed and got an answer over, you will recieve more about what to do next.

The Spirit has already answered you on it, so why do you keep asking?

All these troubles and hard days shall be to your good. Remember when you get older how you feel now when others discount your contributions because of your age, so that you don't treat others badly because of their age.

Look for reasons to be thankful, although I know it must be hard, do it anyway. You can start with the fact that your are healthy enough to crawl through attics, I sure wish I could be that healthy for a day :) Now make your own little list and add something to it each day....it might even be, "I'm so glad there are no raccoons in this attic!"

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So I've been working out in Vancouver, Washington for the last few months selling attic insulation door to door. I knew beforehand about what I was getting myself into, but I prayed dilligently for an answer of whether I should work there or not and the spirit told me that it was where I needed to be this summer. Its a very high paying job, and I'm not bad at it, but its terribly difficult and I've been holding out for the last month and a half just telling myself "work harder...". To be perfectly honest, the only days where I feel completely at peace are on sundays, because they are the only days that I don't work. Every day when I get home from knocking on doors for hours and crawling through attics, I come home so relieved that I get to stop.

I'm only 18 years old and I took on this job so that I could pay for my terribly high tuition at Southern Virginia University. I'm so very behind on money and I have so much pressure on me from all sides to succede and remain financially independent. I dread going to work everyday. Is that even healthy? Don't get me wrong, I love some parts of my job, but I feel as if I'm failing at being happy. My job doesn't provide me with adequate satisfaction and not enough money because I earn commission rather than salary.

My church life has been not much better. I attend a single adult ward and I am definitely the youngest attendee in the ward. Most of the people in my ward that I spend my time with are older than me by 5 or 6 years, and as if my opinions and participation in conversation doesn't matter to them. All in all, I'm very lonely.

I almost had a mental breakdown today so I left work early and sat down in a cemetery for about two and a half hours with my scriptures. I read a lot and a prayed a lot... about my job, my peers where i currently live, my financial situation, my parents and my real friends back home. I'm praying so hard about whether I'm supposed to go home and find another job and finally find a degree of peace and happiness or stick out my job for the rest of my summer. I don't know if the voices in my head are telling me to stay or go. On top of that, I don't know if those voices in my head belong to the still small voice or my own mind. I want to be impartial.

There is good news to be shared though. I have changed so much for the better since I moved to Vancouver. My spirit has grown. I have become a more mature and independent person and I have learned to love and respect myself a lot more than I used to be capable of.

What can I do?

I am not sure I fully understand. You have this job you don't like so you can pay your College tuition, but you are only 18. So when did you graduate from high school and what year are you now in college? Check your financial aide office perhaps and consider living on campus so you can complete your education. With the time you are putting in on the job, it is difficult to see how you can devote the time to school. Your education will help you pursue the career that you want and will enjoy. At 18 you have an entire life to live, so seriously, get out of the cemetary and back on campus. You will not only gain knowlegde but maturity along the way. At 18 just enjoy being a college kid and follow your dreams. I wish you all the best.

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Guest Sachi001

Okay my young brother. Self pity is a destroyer of the spirit. Life for everyone is going to have major adversity often and if you think it's tough now. News Flash!!! Just wait more to come. Many are always unhappy with their job. However if you have one then you should have gratitude of having income. There are many who do not. Just keep plugging away at it. You need to remember Lehi's dream of holding on to the iron rod.

Look at it this way. You were blessed to be in a country, though not perfect, your not born on the Ivory Coast where enslaving children as young as 5 in harvesting cacao nuts for your favorite Snickers bar. They get no education, no parental love, barely one meal a day and no health or religion. They are lucky they don't get a beating that day before going to bed hungry. Then if your lucky to make 12. Your placed in a warlords army to fight, kill, loot and rape rival factions.

or

You could be born and sold into the sex trade by your parents for a few hundred dollars. How about sleeping on the streets of India where 40 % of the population lives.

Sorry for the chastisement but you need to have a little more patience, diligence and gratitude. The Savior spoke of this, and your lack of humility toward the situation your in lacks such gratitude toward the Father. Now work hard, go on a mission for better life training, and then get an education. There are grants and scholarships. Start asking for help in your stake to seek out such.

Good Luck!

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Okay my young brother. Self pity is a destroyer of the spirit. Life for everyone is going to have major adversity often and if you think it's tough now. News Flash!!! Just wait more to come. Many are always unhappy with their job. However if you have one then you should have gratitude of having income. There are many who do not. Just keep plugging away at it. You need to remember Lehi's dream of holding on to the iron rod.

Look at it this way. You were blessed to be in a country, though not perfect, your not born on the Ivory Coast where enslaving children as young as 5 in harvesting cacao nuts for your favorite Snickers bar. They get no education, no parental love, barely one meal a day and no health or religion. They are lucky they don't get a beating that day before going to bed hungry. Then if your lucky to make 12. Your placed in a warlords army to fight, kill, loot and rape rival factions.

or

You could be born and sold into the sex trade by your parents for a few hundred dollars. How about sleeping on the streets of India where 40 % of the population lives.

Sorry for the chastisement but you need to have a little more patience, diligence and gratitude. The Savior spoke of this, and your lack of humility toward the situation your in lacks such gratitude toward the Father. Now work hard, go on a mission for better life training, and then get an education. There are grants and scholarships. Start asking for help in your stake to seek out such.

Good Luck!

Well, I really didn't make this thread to complain about my job. I'm just very frightened of failing and my initial post did not make that point come clearly across. I work hard and I do my best. Believe me Sachi, I don't need chastisement or belittlement, I definitely am not one to give myself any excuses. I understand that I could be in some much worse situation. I didn't end my post saying "whoa is me." I was hoping for a little advice on how I can find my own answers from heavenly father. I'm having difficulty discerning the words of my own mind with the words of the savior. I'm stressing so much over this job because I know that money is so scarce these days and I want to stop relying on my parents. I honestly don't feel deserving of their help and sacrifice. I'm trying so hard to move forward and be self-reliant but I can't figure out what the holy ghost is telling me.

Maybe that will better explain what I'm asking about.

p.s. I went to the cemetery to find a quite place to think and pray... I just couldn't hear anything. I really want to better myself. I hope that I can change and get better at this. I'm really relying on this job and my next semester of school to help me prepare to be a good missionary.

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I know you say the Spirit told you to take this job, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's the only job you're allowed to have. It might mean that it's one of the possible jobs that would be fine. If I were you, I'd look around Vancouver for vacancies in fast food, retail, other minimum-wage-monkey jobs, and put in some applications. Then if you were offered a job, you could pray and see if that might also be one of the acceptable jobs. If the answer is no, you can turn down the job offer. Easy-peasy, no harm done.

But, you are eighteen, so let me gently break it to you -- sometimes job satisfaction isn't in the game plan. I've worked as a cleaner for McDonald's for two years. I have some physical problems which mean it's excruciatingly painful to stand for more than a few hours. At some points, I was taking three full doses of Tylenol in my eight- or nine-hour shifts, and it didn't even touch the pain; giving birth was less traumatic. Do I dread going to work? Oh yes indeedy, but it puts food on the table. You do what you have to, sometimes.

But if my job didn't provide enough money, which you say yours doesn't, you can bet I'd be out looking for something, anything else. Looking at other job options isn't a sign of faithlessness; maybe you've already learned the lessons you needed to learn.

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It sounds like you are stressing far too much over everything. You are 18! Of course you aren't going to have enough money to afford a college education on your own. Being financially independant is a goal, but not something you have to be right now in your life.

Let me share something with you about my own education- I was accepted to my favorite University right out of high school on a four year scholarship. The scholarship covered enough of my education that my parents could afford the rest and I didn't have to get a loan. To make my own contribution so that my parents weren't forking over the entire bill, I worked full time over the summer at fast food resturaunts and part time at college and put all my money toward my tuition and student fees. This made it so that I covered about half the expenses my parents covered.

My third year of college was my sister's first year. So that my parents could afford to help her through college, they cut back on how much they helped me, which meant I had to get a loan. It wasn't a big loan, but I still hated getting it, so I managed to find myself a slightly better job so that I could put a little away in savings to start paying it back once I graduated.

Then my fourth year fell apart. I found myself in a very unhealthy relationship, and my finances were absolutely ruined. I left college to go back and live with my family while I got back on my feet. My parents basically provided everything for me while I figured out how I was going to now care for a child on my own, get a job, and finish my college. It hurt very much to have suddenly become such a "burden" and not be capable of doing everything on my own, but it was a very humbling time in which I learned to rely on the strength of others in my time of weakness.

Now, I am one month away from completeing my Bachelors. I have a job that allows me to just barely make ends meet, though I've had to take on another student loan that I'll have to pay off. However, I have a job offer back in the state I started my college education in that I know I will love and I will finally be able to get by completely on my own. This job would not have fallen in place if events in my life had not transpired as they did, and I would not have learned the great life lessons that I can now take to heart.

I am a better, stronger, more faithful person thanks to the trials I endured and the times I had to rely on others. Things did not go exactly the way I'd planned- I experienced loss and had to struggle to redeem some big mistakes in every aspect (spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially), but if it weren't for those experiences I wouldn't be the person I am now.

Do not fret, my friend. When we first strike out to try and live life on our own after high school- that is when we meet with the most formative experiences of our life. That is when we find ourselves most heavily reliant on the help of others. That is when we are struggling to take one step forward while simultaneously being forced two steps back. The cards always seem stacked against us, but when we persevere we can eventually come out conquerer.

You can get yourself out of your ruts and hard places if you will set goals and stick to them- and accept the help of those around you. No goal worth obtaining can be reached entirely on your merit alone. You will need the help of family, friends, community, and especially the Lord. Only after intesnive struggle and growth will you find yourself in the place you wish you could be in right now. Patience. All things in time. When you can trust in the Lord and learn from your current experiences, you will find yourself at peace even though your current circumstances are not the "best".

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If selling insulation is anything like selling pest control or alarm systems this could be an important financial decision on your part.

Many of these sales programs are back loaded. You get paid a little for what you sell upfront and a large bonus once the season (summer sales) is over. Now if you haven't been making any sales then there is not a lot to lose. If you have made sales there could be a lot to lose. If June is just your first month and you still have to selling in July and August now would be the time to make your decision.

Sales is not for everyone. I have been in sales for over 35 years and love it. That said I have taken jobs in sales where I didn't love it and left after two weeks because I didn't believe in the product I was selling. Sales is not for everyone and sales can be taught but you have to be comfortable doing it or your buyers will notice.

It is very easy to get discouraged in sales and as someone earlier said it is great training for a mission or anything else you do in your life.

Good luck on your decision. It is yours to make.

Ben Raines

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Thanks for the encouragement you guys. I'm its really helpful. If anyone happens to have any advice for how I can be able to better understand the words of the spirit, it would help me so much. Thats what I struggle with presently. I have the hardest time telling when the spirit is speaking to me or if I'm just talking to myself. I don't want to make a bad decision if I can help it. How can I better listen to the spirit?

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I think it is in the 42 section of the Doctrine and Covenants where we are taught how to seek the spirit. We are to make up our own mind first and then seek confirmation. Many I have known over the years go to the Lord in prayer to get an answer. We are to decide for ourselves first and then seek confirmation of our decision. Reference may be wrong. It has been some time since I read those verses.

Study it out in your mind.

Make the decision.

Pray for confirmation.

Burning in your bosom as confirmation or confusion if not.

Ben Raines

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Something that helped me was getting a priesthood blessing. I had a terrible time choosing which college to attend. My cousin gave me a blessing that my mind would clear and I would be led to the right decision through events in my life.

Also (and this is personal advice), don't discount those thoughts in your head. Everyone receives answers through the Spirit differently. If those thoughts are in line with what you know to be true, and you feel the burning in your bosom as the words come to you, don't be afraid to trust them. Clarity of thought and mind can be indications of the presence of the Spirit. That's how I communicate with the Lord. He has power to influence our thoughts, and He knows some of us have trouble going on feelings alone.

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Guest Sachi001

Well, I really didn't make this thread to complain about my job. I'm just very frightened of failing and my initial post did not make that point come clearly across. I work hard and I do my best. Believe me Sachi, I don't need chastisement or belittlement, I definitely am not one to give myself any excuses. I understand that I could be in some much worse situation. I didn't end my post saying "whoa is me." I was hoping for a little advice on how I can find my own answers from heavenly father. I'm having difficulty discerning the words of my own mind with the words of the savior. I'm stressing so much over this job because I know that money is so scarce these days and I want to stop relying on my parents. I honestly don't feel deserving of their help and sacrifice. I'm trying so hard to move forward and be self-reliant but I can't figure out what the holy ghost is telling me.

Maybe that will better explain what I'm asking about.

p.s. I went to the cemetery to find a quite place to think and pray... I just couldn't hear anything. I really want to better myself. I hope that I can change and get better at this. I'm really relying on this job and my next semester of school to help me prepare to be a good missionary.

Yes it did explain better. I just came across to me a complaint about your lot in life than having fear of the future.

I will tell you a little secret there is not one adult that does not feel apprehensive about the future. Even retired at my young age I was fearful some of my choices could backfire and destroy the future. Fact is some choices did backfire, and there were set backs. However life will go on, and you pick your self off the ground, dust yourself off, and move forward. "Put your Shoulders to the Wheel" song comes to mind. I promise if you have the right attitude of putting off failure, and try again. You will succeed my young friend. All those who have had success have gone through it many times. Any who tells you different is not candid. The founder of Subway Sandwiches failed 2 times before getting right the third time.

I can't speak for HF in why your prayers have been in vain lately. Sometimes IMO he does not speak to us because we really have the answers already, and he is not being redundant. Some times I think he's testing, and waiting to see what you will do on your own. Like Job! Fact some of the answers you have been given are good motivational advice already, so it looks like your prayer is being answered.

The main thing is set your goals and set a course. If the wind takes you off it's just a minor setback and make a correction. You will reach your point it you stay diligent.

Why have a boring life without a little adventure, and life is full of such good or bad. You want a boring life to tell in the Spirit World?

Psalm 23:4

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

aloha brother

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Appreciate it, Sachi. I've been praying a lot lately and the answer that has become more clear is for me to stick this one out. I had also been stressing about a lot of unnecessary things in the last couple weeks and it was making me feel a little crazy. I've refocussed myself and my goals and the load has lightened up a lot. Thanks everybody!

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