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I don't know what the statistics are in the LDS population, but in the overall American population, about 40% of women report using pornography at least once a month. The Church would have you believe that half of those women are addicted.*

Whereas the gap between the LDS population and the general population has been shrinking in other areas (divorce, drug use, etc), I'd suspect that 40% isn't far off. So you're certainly not alone, and your 'addiction' may not be as bad as you think, depending on the pattern of your use. **

It's good you admit that you have a problem. You should consult with your bishop and get yourself into an Addiction Recovery program. You'll thank yourself for it.

* Full disclosure, I question the Church's statistics here. I have a feeling that they use a very liberal definition of "addiction"

** Medically speaking, addiction is characterized by compulsive behavior that detracts from the individual's ability to function in their day-to-day living. For instance, do you put your addiction ahead of sleep? work? do you spend money you can't afford? Does your use damage your relationships with others?

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I have just a question. Has any other young woman or sister ever been addicted to pornography? They always emphasize men and boys and i feel like no one really thinks girls make the mistake too. Am i the only one?

You are new here aren't you? :lol:

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I think it happens, but it's not as common as it is for men. Primarily because men are visual and women are emotional.

I've heard racy romance novels discribed as "ladies' porn," because the are the emotional equivilant to pornography, but I don't think that they have the same addictive quality.

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You are new here aren't you? :lol:

Now, now Pam, be nice to the new guy. That's what you always tell me. ^_^

As for the question, yes, they have just a much proclivity to be addicted to the stuff as males do. While not as well discussed, it still is common. I know some who are addicted and find it just as difficult to kick. I also know of one, suspect others were were less likely to go to their leaders about it because of their sense of the whole sensational aspect of a female and porn aspect of it.

So don't worry, that's one thing male & female have in common; pornography, the addiction and the long, tough road to recovery.

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I hope people are using the word 'addicted' in its true sense and not saying that people who have looked at porn a few times in their life, or even a few times a year, are addicted. I was flipping channels awhile back and it turns out that Cinemax as soft core porn. Who knew? Partly surprised and partly interested, I sat down and had a look. Am I an addict? Of course not. Am I going to tell the bishop? Of course not.

I wonder sometimes if some of the males who say they are addicted have actually just looked at porn a few times (OK, maybe a couple of times a month), but it isn't ruining relationships, it isn't stopping them from going to work, it isn't making them spend the baby's milk money. That's what happens when one is addicted.

And while we're here and talking about women, what about couples looking at soft porn together? Is that disallowed?

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I hope people are using the word 'addicted' in its true sense and not saying that people who have looked at porn a few times in their life, or even a few times a year, are addicted. I was flipping channels awhile back and it turns out that Cinemax as soft core porn. Who knew? Partly surprised and partly interested, I sat down and had a look. Am I an addict? Of course not. Am I going to tell the bishop? Of course not.

I wonder sometimes if some of the males who say they are addicted have actually just looked at porn a few times (OK, maybe a couple of times a month), but it isn't ruining relationships, it isn't stopping them from going to work, it isn't making them spend the baby's milk money. That's what happens when one is addicted.

And while we're here and talking about women, what about couples looking at soft porn together? Is that disallowed?

Define addiction? ok i personally was addicted. But i dont care what it is if it is putting bad thoughts in your head, they are going to stay there. Your mind is a stage, and you are the director. But once you let that bad scene in it stays in the archives. If you let it escalate and get addicted you will regret it. For the rest of eternity.

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Dahlia, just so you know, I, for one, do know the difference between rarely, sometimes and addiction. I've been at this way to long to get all hyped up at someone coming to me and saying they saw it a few times. Once, twice, three times doesn't make an addict. Once, twice, three times a day most likely than not, does.

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Define addiction? ok i personally was addicted. But i dont care what it is if it is putting bad thoughts in your head, they are going to stay there. Your mind is a stage, and you are the director. But once you let that bad scene in it stays in the archives. If you let it escalate and get addicted you will regret it. For the rest of eternity.

Dahlia, just so you know, I, for one, do know the difference between rarely, sometimes and addiction. I've been at this way to long to get all hyped up at someone coming to me and saying they saw it a few times. Once, twice, three times doesn't make an addict. Once, twice, three times a day most likely than not, does.

You're both right. Whether or not you're addicted, your use of pornography has very serious implications for your spiritual well being. However, it's also important to recognize that the difference between giving up casual use of pornography and giving up addictive use of pornography is really no different than the difference of giving up the causal use of alcohol and the addictive use of alcohol.

This is why we try to distinguish between what I suspect the Church considers addiction (based on frequency of use) and what the sciences consider addiction (a psychological dependency).

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defenderofzion, I am glad you are facing your addiction, congratulations every time you are able to resist....and congratulations every time you take your problem to God.

I live in a small town, our lds group includes those there for porn addiction: 2 are female; several males, and the rest of us have varied addictions from drugs and alcohol to overeating. I guess from reading here, the church does have separate groups for porn?? Hope you are going to an lds addiction recovery group.

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You are new here aren't you? :lol:

Definitely new ^_^ , or else she would have noticed how many times I've talked about overcoming my addiction, hehe.

On a serious note, defender there are most definitely sisters within the church who have dealt with pornography addictions. I am one of them. If you would like to get into any details about it, how I coped, handled confession and repentance, and "conquered" it, feel free to ask :D. I am not at all afraid of talking about it. I think there are many many similarities to men who have fallen victim to this addiction, but there are some differences too and the focus on men did at first make it hard for me to admit I was addicted. I felt very alienated and dirty- probably more so than I would have if female pornography addictions were more publicly recognized.

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Definitely new ^_^ , or else she would have noticed how many times I've talked about overcoming my addiction, hehe.

On a serious note, defender there are most definitely sisters within the church who have dealt with pornography addictions. I am one of them. If you would like to get into any details about it, how I coped, handled confession and repentance, and "conquered" it, feel free to ask :D. I am not at all afraid of talking about it. I think there are many many similarities to men who have fallen victim to this addiction, but there are some differences too and the focus on men did at first make it hard for me to admit I was addicted. I felt very alienated and dirty- probably more so than I would have if female pornography addictions were more publicly recognized.

Female pornography use is very common in the church and out. really its just as much of a problem with women as it is with men. and i hate the emphasis on just males with this subject in the church as well. i also hate the emphasis on just males with homosexuality. different topic, but same situation. i'm bisexual (used to lean more toward lesbian) and i looked for a long time for resources from the church about homosexuality and it was all about men and i didn't feel like any of it really applied to me like i needed it to. apparently the church doesnt think lesbians exist or something.

but I think it's terrible that you had to feel that way because of how pornography addiction is treated as a male only problem in the church. i even had a relief society teacher one time gloss over pornography in a lesson because she said that "us sisters are above such things" i almost laughed out loud, but i caught myself in time. lol

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I am a female recovering porn and sex addict. 20+ years of trying to stop by myself. It isn't just the Church that doesn't address these addictions with females, it is society in general. There are many women in and out of the church with these addictions. I attend the church's PASAG program and our group is all women. For me it started with romance novels, then moved to erotic fiction, then into full-blown hard core pornography.

If you want to read more about how I have been able to be sober for almost 7 months, read my post here.

Edited by loveslifegal27

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I think it happens, but it's not as common as it is for men. Primarily because men are visual and women are emotional.

I've heard racy romance novels discribed as "ladies' porn," because the are the emotional equivilant to pornography, but I don't think that they have the same addictive quality.

I would say that such has just as much potential to be as addictive as any video or picture. The mind's eye is rather powerful.

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In a similar situation (maybe) will people address whether they would go to the bishop if they had 1 drink? If they drink at a party but not at home?

What I'm looking for is where people are drawing the line in terms of seeing the behavior as problematic or a momentary lapse. I asked an elder if he would go to the bishop over 1 drink, and he said yes. Now maybe he was in elder mode and thought that was the best answer, maybe that's how he really felt, I don't know.

Also, could one drink at parties and still receive the sacrament? I think I'm just wondering where people see themselves as having left the church - 'well, I like a drink on Fridays, I guess I'm not Mormon anymore,' or 'I take a drink now and then, but still feel like I'm Mormon. Maybe not the best one, but Mormon nonetheless.'

One of the research situations I enjoy examining is failure - when do systems stop working? How far can you mess with it, what changes can you make, before it all breaks down? I guess I am trying to test the boundaries here (intellectually, not in person) to see where failure occurs.

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We are asked to follow the prophet, and he/they have already given us the 'fences'. Think of the temple recommend questions......they are given to us not only for a recommend, but as a guideline for our own spiritual/temporal safety in making choices. When we get out of the areas covered in the recommend, I believe failure has begun it's pull on us. 'Keep the commandments', we are told by every prophet.....in this there is safety and peace.

I believe we need to be strict with ourselves, even though this may come to pass over a great deal of time in working on one step at a time. Christ bridges a huge gap for each one of us......but we do need to be sincerely striving line upon line, here a little there a little. We need to align our hearts by focusing on Christ.

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In a similar situation (maybe) will people address whether they would go to the bishop if they had 1 drink? If they drink at a party but not at home?

What I'm looking for is where people are drawing the line in terms of seeing the behavior as problematic or a momentary lapse. I asked an elder if he would go to the bishop over 1 drink, and he said yes. Now maybe he was in elder mode and thought that was the best answer, maybe that's how he really felt, I don't know.

Also, could one drink at parties and still receive the sacrament? I think I'm just wondering where people see themselves as having left the church - 'well, I like a drink on Fridays, I guess I'm not Mormon anymore,' or 'I take a drink now and then, but still feel like I'm Mormon. Maybe not the best one, but Mormon nonetheless.'

One of the research situations I enjoy examining is failure - when do systems stop working? How far can you mess with it, what changes can you make, before it all breaks down? I guess I am trying to test the boundaries here (intellectually, not in person) to see where failure occurs.

i get what your saying but i dont think just because someone is struggling with sex or drugs or something else they arent mormon. heck you could be excommunicated and still believe the church is true you just happened to screw up in a very bad way.

to answer your last point i think you shouldnt even bother testing the limits. as ultimately well say your a machine. the more error codes you pile onto it the sooner or later its going to break down. sure one error code wont do a lot but eventually it will cause slow down unless you stop triggering it even if its rarely eventually it does catch up to you.

that said as far as these big sins go like porn and drugs while i have learned a lot from these experiences life would of been easier if i had just stuck to just say no. no good thing ultimately comes from being in those spots. though i do want to say we each have our own path and we each must fail and learn from our failures what each of our indiviual failures have to be is an entirely different story. so failure is neccessary but the harder the fall the harder it is to get back up

I am a female recovering porn and sex addict. 20+ years of trying to stop by myself. It isn't just the Church that doesn't address these addictions with females, it is society in general. There are many women in and out of the church with these addictions. I attend the church's PASAG program and our group is all women. For me it started with romance novels, then moved to erotic fiction, then into full-blown hard core pornography.

If you want to read more about how I have been able to be sober for almost 7 months, read my post here.

i agree with this. im tired of porn being treated as a male only problem. for starters what about the females in the videos online and pictures online? do they not somehow count? theres is odd myth that women cant be sex addicts that society has accepted i suppose i cant be too shocked since the way society thinks women should be dressed largely potrays that image.

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