Jenamarie Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 DKM88, I believe I know how you are feeling right now. I have been down the same road for the last 3 years now. I returned from my mission with a firm testamony which I belived would never be shaken. But All that history stuff you mentioned in your posts were just screaming out too loud "How can you still belive?"It tears you apart to sort of believe in the church but at the same time not to be able to accept major parts of it.You asked how to deal with it...First of all: It's the toughest thing I know of so far. It's like fighting yourself. Your core beliefs are taken and ripped apart. There might be family and friends involved. They might not understand. Most TBMs don't understand, how someone can dare to question such a thing as holy scripture.I've been on the edge of quitting and leaving the church a few times. Partly because of this forum, too. Some of the answers I got just hurt because I didn't have the impression my concerns were taken serious. (I hope you other guys may learn to be a bit more understanding)Anyway, so I've been dealing with all my questions for about 3 years now. Last week I "made a decision" to believe again. Elder Bednar held a fireside in our stake and I could feel the Spirit so stongly. I prepared for the meeting by asking the Lord in prayer whether E. Bednar was a true and honest apostle or not. And my feelings just didn't leave any doubt. Yes, he is an apostle, a disciple of Jesus Christ.How could the church he represents possibly have gone astray?There was another thing, that kept coming to my mind. Something like 'You live now in 2011 and not back in the day 1830' Just let it go. Ok, that doesn't resolve any of the historic issues I have with the church, but it sets them into perspective. They lost much of their importance. I'D rather focus on the blessings that come from believing in Christ as my Savior. I feel like a huge burden has just been lifted from my shoulders.I hope this has been of any help to you. I guess, nobody can talk away your concerns. Maybe it will take time to come to terms with the matter.To address the bolded part of your quote: I experienced that myself when I was going through my period of questioning. I even started a thread on it a few years ago. Members seem to automatically go on the defensive when someone starts questioning, and it does far more harm than good, IMO, for the person's struggling Testimony.And I too had an experience similar to yours that helped me regain my Testimony. It happened in the Temple, and I *knew* that the Church was True then. A quote I've often heard but can't source often floats through my mind when I feel like my doubts ought to take me OUT of the church: "Don't let what you DON'T know destroy your faith in what you DO know"For all the things I don't fully understand about the Gospel, or about the Church (because you do have to see them as seperate entities at times. The Church is human, the Gospel is not), there are some things that I just KNOW. I can't explain how or why, just that I DO, and I cling to those things when the things I DON'T know start nagging me. It's not that I ignore those things, or turn a blind eye to them, I just aknowledge that they may always be a mystery to me, that there may not be an "answer" to find (at least, not on this side of the veil). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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