sister_in_faith Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 (edited) I have a boyfriend (we are technically common-law married, so sometimes I do call him my husband, confusing, i know...) who I love very dearly. We have been together for 7ish years, and I am always writing him love notes and telling him I love him... but im trying to think of other little things I can do that let him know I am thinking about him. He has a very dangerous job (he is a police officer) so I am constantly telling him to be safe and reminding him that I love him... What else can I do? any ideas? (not romantic... we aren't 'officially' married... yet!) Edited October 3, 2011 by sister_in_faith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Ok I am very confused. How can you be not married, living with him?, and wanting to work in the temple? I like you so please know I am not condemning you just very confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I have a boyfriend (we are technically common-law married, so sometimes I do call him my husband, confusing, i know...) who I love very dearly. We have been together for 7ish years, and I am always writing him love notes and telling him I love him... but im trying to think of other little things I can do that let him know I am thinking about him. He has a very dangerous job (he is a police officer) so I am constantly telling him to be safe and reminding him that I love him...What else can I do? any ideas?(not romantic... we aren't 'officially' married... yet!)How about meet him at the door wearing nothing but a smile......and a wedding gown......and holding a suit and tie......and with marriage license in hand......and an appointment with the justice of the peace...Just thinkin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I'm kind of confused as well. When someone is considered common law that usually means that they are cohabitating as husband and wife without the legalities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 (edited) I agree with Vort. The best thing you can do is get yourself right with God, and invite God into a true and lasting marriage. The best way to say "I love you" is with an eternal marriage in the temple. That will require visiting with the bishop, working through any repentance he deems necessary, starting with a civil marriage, and preparing for an eternal one in the temple. Edited October 3, 2011 by rameumptom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I'm really confused. I agree with the comments already made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I'm kind of confused as well. When someone is considered common law that usually means that they are cohabitating as husband and wife without the legalities.Where common law marriage is recognized, it is considered another form of marriage, just as valid and binding as a marriage contracted by ceremony. In the US, there are eleven states plus DC that recognize common law marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Now that we're working on clearing up the confusion, I'll address the question: Sounds like you're already doing lots to let him know you're thinking of him. Have you had a date night where you get to do all we wants? You can try slipping his favorite treat into his lunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mormonmusic Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 · Hidden Hidden I think you need to find out what his most important emotional needs are. I always recommend Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice as a place to learn about the common emotional needs men have. Have a conversation with him some night where you share your emotional needs with each other.You might learn about things that truly meet his needs. Do THOSE things to show you love him. For me, if I came home and found my wife had cleaned the house and organized the cupboards, saying she did it because she knew it's important to me, that would really do it. Doesnt' sound very romantic, does it? But that's what would work for me because I have a high need for financial support. Of, if she met my need for family commitment by regularly getting everyone together for family home evening and family prayer so I don't always have to do it ....that would put truckloads of love into my own account.Find out what your husbands emotional needs are and do those things regularly. THAT will show that you love him. Link to comment
sister_in_faith Posted October 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church - general-conferenceA quote from this page: The Lord Knows and Loves You"I also recognize that not all women in the Church will have an opportunity for marriage and motherhood in mortality. But if those of you in this situation are worthy and endure faithfully, you can be assured of all blessings from a kind and loving Heavenly Father—and I emphasize all blessings.I assure you that if you have to wait even until the next life to be blessed with a choice companion, God will surely compensate you. Time is numbered only to man. God has your eternal perspective in mind."This gives me comfort in my personal situation. I have seen promises in several different talks that the blessing of marriage will not be denied us if we leave this life unmarried. I have faith that if I keep my covenants, and even if my boyfriend and I are not sealed together (what if I die first?!?) now, that it will all work out according to God's plan.Walking in faith, and having a good time doing it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 Isn't this like the 3rd thread where you've brought this relationship up? You seem to fan your face at the judgments, but love the attention, or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 Where common law marriage is recognized, it is considered another form of marriage, just as valid and binding as a marriage contracted by ceremony. In the US, there are eleven states plus DC that recognize common law marriage. In the US, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, does NOT recognize common law as legal and binding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 In the US, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, does NOT recognize common law as legal and binding.How sure of this are you? I would assume that if the state recognizes a man and woman as married to each other, the Church does, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 So how does one get sealed in the temple without a marriage certificate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 So how does one get sealed in the temple without a marriage certificate?If the state recognizes the marriage, I have no doubt they will certify it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church - general-conferenceA quote from this page: The Lord Knows and Loves You"I also recognize that not all women in the Church will have an opportunity for marriage and motherhood in mortality. But if those of you in this situation are worthy and endure faithfully, you can be assured of all blessings from a kind and loving Heavenly Father—and I emphasize all blessings.I assure you that if you have to wait even until the next life to be blessed with a choice companion, God will surely compensate you. Time is numbered only to man. God has your eternal perspective in mind."This gives me comfort in my personal situation. I have seen promises in several different talks that the blessing of marriage will not be denied us if we leave this life unmarried. I have faith that if I keep my covenants, and even if my boyfriend and I are not sealed together (what if I die first?!?) now, that it will all work out according to God's plan.Walking in faith, and having a good time doing it!But how can YOU leave this life unmarried, when you've repeatedly claimed that your live-in boyfriend- you know, the one who has no interest in getting married - is actually your common-law husband? How can you be unmarried and receive a Temple recommend when cohabitating?And here again you call him your boyfriend while insisting you are "married" in order to qualify for a Temple recommend.I understand that you want to work in the Temple, but fudging the truth is not the way to get there. You do everyone a disservice, including yourself. You've made repeated claims that you are "married", but no common law marriage is a legal marriage without taking the proper legal steps, which you have not done. And even then, you would be only legally married from that time onward. So if you haven't done the legal steps to have your common law marriage legally recognized, they you simply aren't married no matter how much you might think so in your head. And if you are married, as you insist, why are you taking comfort for your "personal situation" regarding something that is being addressed to the unmarried? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 If someone is common law married and the state recognizes it, do they get some kind of certificate or something official to say they are common law married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 Where common law marriage is recognized, it is considered another form of marriage, just as valid and binding as a marriage contracted by ceremony. In the US, there are eleven states plus DC that recognize common law marriage. When I said legalities I was referring to an actual marriage license and ceremony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sister_in_faith Posted October 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) Leah, i take comfort in it because I am 'covered' either way. If I AM legally married (common-law or otherwise) then I will be sealed to him. If I AM NOT legally married, which seems to be the opinion of the majority of you, then according to the information I quoted, I am okay too. Jesus told us not to be afraid. I am not going to worry about trying to prove to LDS.net users that i am right on this subject any more. I am very comfortable with how well I follow the commandments. I know that I am obedient to my covenants. I am honest with myself and my priesthood leaders who have given me their stamp of approval on my lifestyle. And that's good enough for me! As for the rest of your post, if you can't figure out how off base you are by reading the other posts I have made regarding the subject (of which there have been many) then I really can't help you. I don't have the right college degree for that. Sorry! Edited October 6, 2011 by sister_in_faith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 And we're done here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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