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Messed up!

YaYaYaYana

By YaYaYaYana,
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Windseeker

Windseeker

Posted
Posted

Well I suppose I'm messed up to. I've contemplated suicide often from about the same age. It's always there it seems in the back of my mind and comes out when I'm discouraged and depressed. I can't point to any one issue as being the problem. Life is just hard and sometimes I'm just sick of it. But over the years I've built up my reasons not too.

First off, I know it's the most selfish thing anyone can do. As many problems as I have I know there are others who are way worse off than I and are probably happier then I am. I also know I will suffer greatly in the next life by witnessing and experiencing the pain and effects my suicide will cause others. I also am a big rebel and I've always believed the most rebelious thing to do is rebel against yourself (the natural man, selfish, greedy, prideful, envious etc). I'm going to try to live as long and miserable life as i possibly can, just to spite myself ;). I've learned that the things the world offers do not bring happiness. So many people with Fame and Fortune are so much more miserable than I am. I know that we must find a measure of happiness in this life if we are to have any happiness in the next life. I know that this must come from within and so I'm on a quest and so far realized I have a long way to go.

I hope you will realize it's really not an option. One song that I like about suicide says to "Turn around and walk the razor's edge". That's what I do.

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skippy740

skippy740

Posted
Posted

Step 1: Canada Suicide & Crisis Hotlines - When You Feel You Can't Go On... Call a Suicide Hotline. / SuicideHotlines.com - Direction for immediate crisis intervention for the gravely suicidal & treatment for major clinical suicidal depression.

Step 2: First complete step 1. Then report back with how they can help you.

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Jennarator

Jennarator

Posted
Posted

Get help, first. Then think, you have been thinking about suicide for years. You haven't don't it. You have reason to live.

I know someone who went to the ER for this reason, they get you immediate help, then plan a long term plan as well.

Sounds like you might have some seriouse depression, and that is chemical, medicine can help.

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sister_in_faith

sister_in_faith

Posted
Posted (edited)

YaYa,

first I want to say, you are NOT alone.

second this is NOT your fault.

The fact that you feel this way does not mean that you are defective in any way. It also does not mean that satan has any kind of control over your mind, to make you think 'bad' things. This is a medical problem, pure and simple. I know that reaching out for help is a scary thing, but you are an adult, and you can do this without anyone else knowing if you so choose.

Being suicidal has a huge stigma attached to it. That is one of the biggest problems for people in your position, because once you admit you have a problem (which you already have) then you are afraid of how people will react. I hope that you see that people are primarily worried about you, and want to support you! You have already taken the first step, and things just get easier from here. Now you know how people react to it. They want to help.

I don't know where you are in the scope of suicidal behavior. Some people just feel suicidal. Others have a detailed plan. Where would you say you are?

Here is something to read if you are feeling suicidal Suicide: Read This First

One thing I have learned in my battles with depression, and suicide attempts, is how truly unnecessary it is. The only reason we feel suicidal is because our ability to cope with our current situation is over whelmed by the pain we are feeling. At the time it seems like our only 'out'. But the problem with using suicide as the solution is that it creates so many more problems. The people around us would be hurt by our actions so much, it isn't worth doing. ESPECIALLY when there IS treatment!

We CAN get better.

This is what I think you should do. If you are feeling 'actively' suicidal, go to an ER. They deal with this every day, and it is an easy way to get your 'foot in the door' so to speak. They will help you find the right doctor and get set up with follow up appointments. If you are having an okay day, then go to (in person) a psychiatrist or a mental health counselor's office and let them know what is going on. They will get things started for you right away. If your community has a crisis center, you could go there as well.

Remember, you are not alone. Pray about this. Sing "I am a child of God". but get yourself to where you can talk to someone about this. Even talking to your bishop is a good idea. I'm sure that he would be happy to go to an appointment with you to get this started if you don't want to go alone!

I PROMISE you that you will feel better, like a huge weight has been lifted, when you first go in to talk to someone, and are totally honest about what you are feeling. Things can only get better from here!

I'm praying for you sister... you can get thru this!

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING right now tho is, that you cannot put this off. You need to do this TODAY. Call in sick to work, miss school. This is waaaay more important. Seriously. Turn off the computer and go... NOW! :)

Edited by sister_in_faith
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theoriginalavatar

theoriginalavatar

Posted
Posted

Hello, I'm 22 years old ... and I feel like I'm really messed up... and in conclusion I think that I really want to end my life... Ever since I was 16 years old I havn't been happy in fact I've been terribly depressed I thought about suicide for the past 6 years everyday if not multiple times a day....... I really don't know if anyone has any kind of solution to this or can offer any kind of help.. but I guess getting it out there makes me feel better

Hello there yyyy...

I do not suppose anything I say, nor anyone else, will truly resolve the feelings that you are experiencing. I can only say one thing with absolute certainty...God the Father and Jesus Christ love you. They love you now. They love you immediately. They love you forever.

It may sound cliche to say so, and I'm sure many have given you the same words of comfort, but I know that with complete awareness.

I, for one, am here for you. I am but a stranger in this world, and I wander as do we all, but my heart and my mind are open to you...without bias, without judgement, without question.

Please feel free to message me if you'd like. I promise to have an open mind. I am a great soundboard.

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pleasehelpme

pleasehelpme

Posted
Posted

I am actually not even a mormon anymore but felt I should talk to you, like they all above said please get help..... not only for you but your family. My mother killed herself 8 years ago and it still bothers me to this day. You may not think people care but they do. not having my mother or a father for that matters really beats me up all the time... religion or not you are so important to not only your self but your family and friends.... Like they said before me there is nothing wrong with getting help in the form of counseling and medication... there are so many people that have depression these days and it no longer carries the stigma that it once did. I really do wish you well and hope that you get the help that you need not only for you but for everyone that loves you both friends and family.

I am really thankful no one tried the religion guilt trip if you were to hurt yourself. No matter what you do in life you will always be loved and forgiven but please do get the help you need....

having depression doesn't make you weak but strong for crying out for help when you need it.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Anon16

Anon16

Posted
Posted

I'm not really in a position to give advice on this. I struggle with this as well, but for me it is only recently that I've actually thought about it. You are strong to have resisted for as many years as you have.

Have you told anybody besides this board about your feelings? Is there somebody you can trust that won't freak out on you that you can talk to? Talking about it can really help.

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ADoyle90815

ADoyle90815

Posted
Posted

You need to get help right now for this, as depression is a legitimate illness, and one that can be treated with the right type of help in the form of counseling and medication. If you want to get a therapist through the LDS church, your bishop can give you a referral. This also goes for the person struggling with masturbation, and I was going to post the same thing on that thread, but it's now closed, so I'm posting it here.

I'm sure I've mentioned before that I also had depression so severe that I was suicidal, but the combination of therapy and medication is what saved my life. Eventually, my depression went into remission and it's been years since I needed any medication. I say that it went into remission like one would say about cancer, because I do consider depression to be a real illness, and one that doesn't have to be terminal if you get treatment for it. The brain is an organ just like any other organ of the body, and like the thyroid for example, it often doesn't produce enough of a chemical.

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mirkwood

mirkwood

Posted
Posted (edited)

You've been offered some really good advice. I'm not going to add to the advice, I'm going to give you another perspective. I am a police officer. I have lost track of the number of suicides I have responded to (dozens). The devastation to families and friends is beyond words to describe. Suicide has destroyed many families, marriages and other people's lives. It may be the end for the "victim", it is the beginning of lifelong trauma for everyone else. Some food for thought to go with the advice given.

Edited by mirkwood
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  • 1 month later...
splash

splash

Posted
Posted

Hey.

How you feeling?

I understand about contemplating suicide, I have been there. But you know what? Suicide isn't the answer. Suicide is quitting on everything. It's giving up and chickening out. Don't give up! Life is hard but we are strong. You are worth far too much to kill yourself!

I don't know why you feel like killing yourself. If its because of the past- we can't change the past. What's done is done. All we can do is pick up the pieces, learn and focus on having a better future. We can repent, make better choices in the future, be blessed, have wonderful opportunities and be very happy : ) Keeping the commandments = happiness. Even if commandments have been broken in the past, we can choose to keep them now and be blessed for it. No matter where you are in life, no matter what mistakes you have made- you can go forwards! The Gospel offers us repentance, safety, happiness and peace (and so many other wonderful things). Christ understands what you are going through! He died for you and you mean to world to him!

Talking to a therapist and/or meds may greatly improve your life.

“Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you. God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God love encompasses us completely. He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked. What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.”

― Dieter F. Uchtdorf

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Anonymity

Guest Anonymity

Posted
Posted

Hey. Been there and thought of that. I'm glad I didn't have to say "done that" haha, not to make light of the situation, but I wouldn't be here in that case! So I agree with above said statements. And remember that there are always others who have had the same thoughts. I have. And its ultra-scary. It makes sense to want to kill yourself. It makes complete logical sense. And then sometimes it doesn't. I'm just glad I didn't go through with it. Its something I may always suffer from, but then again, I pray I won't have too. If you want always check out a newer group I found on FB called LDS Depression/Anxiety Support Group. I think it looks nice. Maybe they could help? Cheers! :)

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