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prisonchaplain

A child called it? Is it fact or fiction?

Is the story fact or fiction?  

9 members have voted

  1. 1. Is the story fact or fiction?

    • Fiction
      4
    • Fact
      5


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Mamas Girl, like Sister in Faith said earlier. You are not alone. Neither is your husband. You have said, better than me, how my husband feels.

Oh I know that. :P What I hate is when people doubt a story, and many of the stories can seem so outrageous as to sound unbelievable; but those who actually live with people who suffered know the kind of pain, denial, and such that goes on within the family. *If* the story is true, and I admit that I've not read the book, then accusing the author of lying is just turning the blind eye on the child yet again. While he may be grown, if he suffered like many others than there's a fine line between his being grown and his being a child. Their childhood can come flooding back and once again they feel the danger that is very real (just like my uncle suffered after returning home from Nam), and once again they're the child, while to those of us who watch are puzzled at the cause for alarm. I love my husband with all my heart, we have talks about his past (at least what he wants to divulge, a lot he will never tell), we talk about how he feels and what I can do to best help him, and he is doing so much better, though he's still not what I'd call "normal," whatever that might be. Childhood abuse be it verbal, physical or mental is one of the most horrific things a person can experience. They don't chose to belong to a certain family, and at their young age they don't see any way to escape.

I'm eager to read the book and may stop by my library next time I'm in town. I hope that those who suffer like the author have the chance to see that they're not alone, that many others have gone before them in the same shoes. Maybe it will give them courage to do whatever it takes to survive. Maybe it can encourage others to step in and stop the abuse before the child is forever hurt.

Edited by Mamas_Girl

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Very well said again. For my husband he blocked so much and just doesnt remember at all. Occasionally the memories come back in nightmares, or flashbacks. He doesnt remember the flashbacks until he is able to deal with that particular memory. There is no way to describe how it feels to hear what happened to him from seeing and hearing him relive it. It makes me cry and want to strangle every abuser out there. It was bad enough they lived through it once but to have to relive it over and over throughout their lives is just .. well there are no words. I wish I could feel more forgiveness and I try but I am not there by a long way yet.

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Anne, it is a process. And I'm still in the middle of it, so I don't even have magical words to make it all okay.

I am still in the process of coming to terms with everything my mom did. The major thing right now is realizing that she literally isolated and brainwashed me to be her perfect little robot. She made me think that EVERYTHING was my fault. EVERYTHING. So when I realized at a young age that I was the sole cause of her pain, suffering, and lack of success, I remember going to my room and crying because I couldn't figure out how to stop being such a bad girl. I wanted SO MUCH for her to be happy, but for some reason *I* couldn't stop hurting her. I remember being a little girl and going into my room with a piece of broken glass. I thought if I could punish myself enough I would be a better person and my mom would be happy. I would cut my arm until I bled, over and over again, trying to make myself a good person. When that didn't work, I started to try to figure out how to kill myself. I thought that the only way my mom would be happy was if I wasn't around to cause her pain.

This has followed me to my adult life. I still think that I am the cause of everything bad. I want so much to be a *good* person, but I am so afraid that I "hurt everyone I love". It has taken years of therapy and a very persistent honey to even get to the point where I can confront that wrong thinking.

The really sad thing about it is that I AM a very good person. I am very kind and loving. I am always trying to make someone else's day better. I am very honest, and I strive very hard to keep my covenants. I guess you guys can see by some of my posts (like the ones about feeling bad about making 'mistakes') that when it comes to looking at my own actions, I have a really hard time seeing them realistically. I just go so over board thinking I am this horrible person who doesn't deserve anything good.

In my last temple recommend interview the bishop asked me if I thought I should get a recommend (I forget the exact language of the question), and I started sobbing and told him "no". I told him I don't deserve anything good. He told me that was too bad, but the spirit told him I did deserve one, and signed it while I was crying and trying to explain to him why I didn't deserve it. Ended up doing the same thing to the SP, and he said the same thing. Dang spirit always butting in. Just kidding... :)

Sorry, I went off on a rant, but getting it out there makes me feel better. What I was going to illustrate was how I am still in the middle of trying to get a grip on my abuse. I feel myself getting to the 'anger' stage now that I'm starting to realize how deep the brainwashing goes. It's hard to talk to my mom every day and act like everything is okay. I just want to scream at her. She is too unstable for me to do that tho. Ugh.

Anne, I am so sorry about what happened with your husband. Please give him a big hug for me. I'm praying for him. My therapist does something called 'brain spotting' with me and it really helps. It helps me work thru little parts of things at a time, but for some reason it really helps my brain process and let go of things. Helps a lot with PTSD. Truly, you may want to look into it.

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Anne, it is a process. And I'm still in the middle of it, so I don't even have magical words to make it all okay.

I am still in the process of coming to terms with everything my mom did. The major thing right now is realizing that she literally isolated and brainwashed me to be her perfect little robot. She made me think that EVERYTHING was my fault. EVERYTHING. So when I realized at a young age that I was the sole cause of her pain, suffering, and lack of success, I remember going to my room and crying because I couldn't figure out how to stop being such a bad girl. I wanted SO MUCH for her to be happy, but for some reason *I* couldn't stop hurting her. I remember being a little girl and going into my room with a piece of broken glass. I thought if I could punish myself enough I would be a better person and my mom would be happy. I would cut my arm until I bled, over and over again, trying to make myself a good person. When that didn't work, I started to try to figure out how to kill myself. I thought that the only way my mom would be happy was if I wasn't around to cause her pain.

This has followed me to my adult life. I still think that I am the cause of everything bad. I want so much to be a *good* person, but I am so afraid that I "hurt everyone I love". It has taken years of therapy and a very persistent honey to even get to the point where I can confront that wrong thinking.

The really sad thing about it is that I AM a very good person. I am very kind and loving. I am always trying to make someone else's day better. I am very honest, and I strive very hard to keep my covenants. I guess you guys can see by some of my posts (like the ones about feeling bad about making 'mistakes') that when it comes to looking at my own actions, I have a really hard time seeing them realistically. I just go so over board thinking I am this horrible person who doesn't deserve anything good.

In my last temple recommend interview the bishop asked me if I thought I should get a recommend (I forget the exact language of the question), and I started sobbing and told him "no". I told him I don't deserve anything good. He told me that was too bad, but the spirit told him I did deserve one, and signed it while I was crying and trying to explain to him why I didn't deserve it. Ended up doing the same thing to the SP, and he said the same thing. Dang spirit always butting in. Just kidding... :)

Sorry, I went off on a rant, but getting it out there makes me feel better. What I was going to illustrate was how I am still in the middle of trying to get a grip on my abuse. I feel myself getting to the 'anger' stage now that I'm starting to realize how deep the brainwashing goes. It's hard to talk to my mom every day and act like everything is okay. I just want to scream at her. She is too unstable for me to do that tho. Ugh.

Anne, I am so sorry about what happened with your husband. Please give him a big hug for me. I'm praying for him. My therapist does something called 'brain spotting' with me and it really helps. It helps me work thru little parts of things at a time, but for some reason it really helps my brain process and let go of things. Helps a lot with PTSD. Truly, you may want to look into it.

I am so sorry for the things you went through. It has to be hard to deal with your mom especially every day. To be honest I couldnt do it. It helps me a lot to know the people that hurt my husband are dead now. Mean of me but its true. I spend time every morning convincing him as he is waking up that was in the past and they are all gone.

You are a nice person. Very worthwhile. Add this little part to your healing process. :D You cheer me up even though you dont have to. My problems are not yours to solve but you still care and that makes you a great person in my book and, more importantly in Gods book. Just wanted you to know that. Have a good day today, Sister. :)

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Terrible book....I could hardly read it but I suffered through because someone I trusted recommended it. It would make me feel much better about it if I knew it was false. I just can't believe a mother could be so evil to her own child.

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Terrible book....I could hardly read it but I suffered through because someone I trusted recommended it. It would make me feel much better about it if I knew it was false. I just can't believe a mother could be so evil to her own child.

Isnt that the truth.

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