Did you let your baby cry it out?

[pam]

Good to see you posting Wingers.

[Spartan117]

A lady I knew a long time ago, gave her kids "sleepy juice" (aka formula and vodka) as part of their nightly bedtime routine. She went to jail. Don't do that.

I've heard of the Benadryl juice, even NyQuil, but vodka? Seriously? At least get the kid started out on a quality liquor. A nice bourbon. But not vodka. She deserves to be in jail.

[Bini]

Ha ha. Yeh I'm sure most of you have "been there, done that" with the breastfeeding. Despite it being an inconvenience sometimes, I really love breastfeeding her. She'll be 6 weeks come Wednesday and I'll have to start thinking about when I want to start pumping and introducing a bottle. I was told that between 6-8 weeks is when you want to do this if you're going to do it.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I saw gripe water at Target.. Maybe I didn't but I swear I saw it on the shelf infront of the pharmacy..

Wingnut! It's great to see you posting! Hope all is well with you. I know you were expecting when I was expecting. How are you?

[JudoMinja]

I realize I'm coming into this thread a few days late... (must check the non-main forums more often, lol), but I just wanted to let you know I can understand your frustrations with the colic, as can my mother. My younger sister was a colicky baby- nothing my mom tried would get her to stop crying. She would make sure her basic needs were met, and then have to set her down in a safe place and just walk away for her own sanity. She told me about several times where my sister would be in the crib, upstairs in the bedroom, crying- and mom would be downstairs at the kitchen table sitting on her hands because the constant crying was getting to her so much that she wanted to go upstairs and strangle my sister. My dad would get home, see her like that, ask if she was okay, and then go take care of my sister.

My son was also colicky, but his was resolved with diet (and getting away from a high-stress environment). My son is allergic to milk. I couldn't breastfeed him, because he constantly had problems with gas, constipation, and spitup. We switched to formula and he still had problems. Switched to a hypoallergenic formula and he still had problems. Switched to a soy formula and walah! It was like night and day. I would suggest at least attempting a switch to soy formula for a few days (you can pump while she isn't breastfeeding and freeze the milk in case the switch doesn't work) and see what happens. If she's allergic to milk, it will work wonders. If not, you can go back to breastfeeding and have a good store of backup milk in your freezer.

[Bini]

I took her to the pedi and she thinks baby may be experiencing some heartburn and silent reflux. Yay. So now we're also medicating baby with liquid Zantac to help with the heartburn and tummy problems. That's on top of the gas drops, gripe water and soothing rub! We're hoping to see a difference soon..

[Blocky]

I hope that helps!

As for letting them cry, I've gotten the same ear full. 'I just can't stand to let them feel helpless and all alone, like I'm not there for them *gives me accusing stare* I mean they're so little and we're all they know, of course I don't make them be sad and desperate on purpose *more accusing stares*"

You know what though, when it comes to letting them cry a little (or even a lot at night), or exteme attachment parenting THERE IS NO WRONG AND RIGHT ANSWER. There are some things that are wrong and right, but this isn't one of them. If this works for you, then do it. If I never let my first baby cry, he'd still be clinging to me right now, nursing, making me do EVERYTHING for him, sleeping in my bed. I know people who still do this. I can think of four families I'm friends with that have a 'family bed.' The kids don't even have beds, or if they do, they've never slept in them their whole lives. When my dad remarried, their wedding night was my new step sisters first time ever sleeping by herself. The goal of letting them cry by themselves? To have both of you get more rest. Baby gets tired out and sleeps better. You get a little space and sanity. When the baby gets older, letting them cry lets them figure out how to fall asleep on their own. Self soothing techniques are a good thing to have for kids and they don't develop them because they think they've been abandoned.

Don't buy into the guilt. Have you watched the documentary 'Babies', it's AWESOME. It shows how four very different mothers have lots of love for their babies and do things very differently. Yet, happy independent babies are the result. The older I get the more confident I get in doing things the way I am comfortable with.

[MarginOfError]

Let me just state plainly that I have no love for true cry it out philosophy. CIO philosophy in its purest form states that parents are humans, too, so infants should learn to adhere to a schedule that gives parents more kid free time as soon as possible. My problem with this philosophy is that it makes parenting about the parent and not the child.

That being said, not all parent who let their kids cry it out do it for that reason. Some honestly believe that is of greatest benefit to the child. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. I try not to judge.

And like others have said, giving your kid a chance to soothe themselves to sleep for 5 - 10 minutes is not crying it out. Ignoring frantic and angry screams until the child reaches such an exhausted state that he or she cannot physically stay awake any longer is crying it out. The prevalent theory among child psychologists right now is that children who are given the choice of whether to be soothed or whether to soothe themselves are the children who grow up to have the healthiest sense of independence. Essentially, knowing that they can fall back on mom and dad when they need to gives them the courage to go out on the limb.

It it true that there are people out there will say that you are neglecting your child if you let them cry more than 5 or 10 minutes. They fail to recognize the eternal truth that it is always better to have one emotionally distraught person than to have two distraught persons. It's better to walk away from a screaming child and collect yourself than to let your emotions and self control decay. Remember that the number one reason people give for shaking a baby is they couldn't get the child to stop crying. If you hit your limit emotionally, screw the people who would criticize you for walking away; a crying baby is better than a dead baby.

(sorry to be so morbid)

[applepansy]

I didn't read the entire thread. I'm responding to the first post.

There is nothing wrong with putting your baby down to cry it out!

[Maureen]

I took her to the pedi and she thinks baby may be experiencing some heartburn and silent reflux. Yay. So now we're also medicating baby with liquid Zantac to help with the heartburn and tummy problems. That's on top of the gas drops, gripe water and soothing rub! We're hoping to see a difference soon..

How's it going Bini?

M.

[jayanna]

OH,, what memories, both my girls had horrible colic. I lived in an appartment building and one of my neighbors suggested I put beer in her bottle. I was like, "Well that explains what happened to you!" slam door.

I did not generally let them cry it out, but I cuddled them only b/c it made me feel better. They of course don't remember anything about it, so I don't think setting them down and walking away would have hurt them at all. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It went away after several weeks. There is nothing like 3 - 4 hours a day of screaming to make you appreciate the silence of say, the local library :)

Colic is like 2 Nephi, a test to see how serious you are about this parenting thing.

[alexis]

You don't need to worry about me ever doing that. >_> No medications for babies. Ever. Wait until 2 if possible, right?

[applepansy]

I didn't know how controversial a topic this was until I became a mama and then I got an earful in how wrong it is to let my baby cry. To clarify, she is a colicky newborn and cries more than normal. My husband is good with her but when he's at work it's up to me to handle her. When she starts screaming non-stop after having tried everything, I lay her down and let her cry but for no more than 20 minutes. Then I pick her up and repeat everything all over again to see if any of it works the second go-around. The pedi told me that as long as baby is safe, that it's okay to lay her down and walk away for 15 or 20 minutes while I collect myself. I felt a bit less guilt after having a specialist "approve" CIO for short periods of time but after certain individuals lectured me on how wrong it is, all that guilt and then some crashes down on me. Am I really the only mother in the world that lets her baby cry it out? I even did a Google search to see what people think on the issue and every single one of them claim to never let their baby cry. They must not have ever dealt with a baby struggling with colic. If I held her every single time she cried and never put her down until she stopped - I'd never stay sane - because she doesn't stop..

You've already gotten good advice, so I'll just you about my 2nd child.

He was born 2 weeks overdue. He refused to sleep at night. It didn't matter if we kept him up all day with no nap (at age 3 months), he still didn't sleep at night. when I say "he didn't sleep" I mean just that...not even a cat nap all night long. He wanted to be entertained.

I was more than sleep deprived. Husband could sleep through the crying. I tried everything including sitting him in from of the stupid TV commercials at 3am (back in 1981 there wasn't the ads for talking to half naked women).

We lived in an apartment complex and I couldn't get him cry it out without disturbing the neighbors. He would go on for hours because he wanted to be awake and see the world. His body clock was backwards. It was a nightmare. One night I was so desperate I put him in his bed (which was next to our bed because he would wake his 3yo brother) and took a pillow and blanket out to the truck and slept for a whole two hours in the front seat. When I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and went back in the house both hubby and baby were sleeping soundly and I slept another hour on the couch. when hubby woke up I asked him if he's heard the baby, he said No. grrrrrrrr I had to quit working because I wasn't getting any sleep.

When my son was 6 months old we moved into our first house. I put him in his own room. Enforced bedtimes. We did everything we could think of to make sure he felt safe and loved. Then we let him cry it out. It took TWO WHOLE WEEKS for him to stop crying all night. I would peek in at him if his cry changed or if I got nervous but for the most part I didn't let him see me. If I went in to comfort him, it was like starting all over.

Fast forward 30 years. He still has his body clock issues. He has walked and driven in his sleep. He is aware and makes sure he gets enough sleep so that the sleep issues don't affect his life. He just recently moved to day shift this past year after working graveyard shift for about 6 years. Working graveyard didn't bother him. He can stay up forever.

You are the only expert on your baby!!! The only one! Bini, do what is best for you and your baby and ignore the busy-body-critics.

EDIT: oops... didn't realize this was an old thread I had already responded to. Yes I'm sleep deprived again at age 54. LOL I typed all that so i'm going to leave it.