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Marry someone from your mission?

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I just came over this site and I figured i have a question! I've heard of people marrying someone they met on their mission, I know people in my ward and several wards around did. Some of them were in love during their mission, some fell for eachother after. Just recently we had an elder and a sistermissionary that just got home and got engaged to eachother. Then i read the talk "Lock your heart" where it says that if you marry someone you met during your mission - that's NOT something to be proud of. And mish presidents keep telling their missionaries that they will not find their eternal spouse in the field. :blink: I realize that they're not on a mission to check out the meat-market but hey, it does happen!

Did you or someone you know marry someone they met on their mission? What's the story and how did things work out?

I looove love stories that goes "against all odds"!:wub:

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lol I know one missionary, well more but this one is the funny one, who met his wife on his mission. He and her were going back to the mtc getting ready to go home and met on the plane. It was so funny because he had told us in complete seriousness that he had his life mapped out and wasnt getting married for at least 2 or 3 years after his mission. He was not going on the meat market at Ricks was what he insisted to us. Well he didnt. He didnt make it there.

It still makes me laugh.

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I just came over this site and I figured i have a question! I've heard of people marrying someone they met on their mission, I know people in my ward and several wards around did. Some of them were in love during their mission, some fell for eachother after. Just recently we had an elder and a sistermissionary that just got home and got engaged to eachother. Then i read the talk "Lock your heart" where it says that if you marry someone you met during your mission - that's NOT something to be proud of. And mish presidents keep telling their missionaries that they will not find their eternal spouse in the field. :blink: I realize that they're not on a mission to check out the meat-market but hey, it does happen!

Did you or someone you know marry someone they met on their mission? What's the story and how did things work out?

I looove love stories that goes "against all odds"!:wub:

Mission AP married a sister missionary who served with us. I believe he's a dentist now in Issaquah, and as far as I know they have been very happy. As long as you are not actively looking for a spouse during your mission service, I cannot see anything bad about marrying another missionary who served with you. I briefly dated a cute, highly intelligent, and very friendly girl who had served as a sister missionary in my mission and whom I had considered a pretty good friend -- as much as you can be friends with an opposite-sex missionary in your mission. Never saw the problem with it, then or now.

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My sister met her husband while they were both on their mission. After they both returned and hung out a bit they decided they REALLY liked each other. Okay more than like perhaps. :) Now 13 years and 4 kids later.

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One of my missionary companions ended up marrying somebody he reactivated on his mission (he reactivated her before he was my companion, and he was teaching the entire family, not just the person he married). It turned out to be a really good thing for her, because she had recently been through a bad divorce with a non-member and her kids (around 4 years old) needed a good father figure. They're a very happy family so far. :)

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My uncle married a native sister missionary from his foreign mission. This was back in the 1950's. They never had a date before they got married, though they did write letters to each other. After he got home from his mission, he sent for her, she flew to Canada where he met her, and they were married right after she arrived. He has served as a Bishop and she has served as a Relief Society President. After retirement, they served a full time mission together, back to their original mission, and as Temple missionaries.

I served a full time mission, and the "Lock Your Heart" talk was definitely emphasized. After I got home I dated several of the Elders from my mission. There was nothing going on while we were on our missions. As missionaries, we developed strong bonds of friendship. And since I lived in the vicinity of BYU after my mission, the Elders and Sisters from my mission often got together for outings and parties. I'm still good friends with some of the Elders. We exchange Christmas cards after all these years--30+, and I'm friends on FaceBook with a number of them. There were several marriages of Elders/Sisters from my mission. I see nothing wrong with it as long as nothing was going on out in the mission field.

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I've been married 21.5 years to a sister missionary from my mission. We did not really meet until we were both home. I knew who she was, she knew who I was, but there was no connection in the field. We actually met at a mission get together about a year after she was home and six months after I was home. Same thing with my cousin, who happened to serve in my mission as well. They are at 22.5 years. There was a third "couple" from our mission who are now divorced.

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No major objections to elders and sisters who begin dating and marry after their missions; but I've handled two very nasty divorces from RMs who went back to the field after their missions, married themselves a little cutie they'd met during their service, brought her back to the US and then discovered that the cultural differences were just too much to handle.

President Kimball gets widely vilified for his advice that people marry within their own culture; but I think there may be a kernel of wisdom in there.

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Guest gopecon

I agree that there's nothing wrong with it if nothing happens in the field. I do think its a good idea to have missionaries read Lock Your Heart and to have that mentality. Stuff may happen eventually, but missionaries need to have it in their heads that they are not "window shopping" while they are serving, but are fully devoted to the work.

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My uncle served in Mexico City and married a sister missionary from Mexico. They've been married over 50 years. I don't know their whole story. She is one of the dearest people I know, and my uncle is a very sweet man, too. They're a lovely couple. I don't know what struggles they had as far as cultural differences, though. I'm sure that there were some. My best friend is married to a man from Peru and even though they have a wonderful marriage, there are things that have been challenging for her.

My niece served in Brazil, came home to the guy she waited for and then he for her, and determined that she should not marry him. She kind of floated around for a couple of years trying to figure out where she should be in life, ended up in Provo, ran into her mission DL, and the rest, as they say, is history. They're made for each other. The other guy just couldn't have made her as happy. But they barely knew each other in the field.

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I briefly dated a cute, highly intelligent, and very friendly girl who had served as a sister missionary in my mission and whom I had considered a pretty good friend -- as much as you can be friends with an opposite-sex missionary in your mission. Never saw the problem with it, then or now.

Um, I think your wife would have a problem with you now dating a former missionary from your mission. ;)

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I personally know a person who converted his (future) wife on his mission, went back after he got home and married her. They are now sending their children on missions.

Edited by mrmarklin

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I served for about six and a half years in Korea. For three of those years I was an English instructor, who taught English Bible studies, more or less as a volunteer. Then God spoke to my heart very clearly and said I was no longer to think of myself as just helping out--that I was a missionary. So, I sought spiritual covering through an evangelical tentmaker mission agency, and my home church commisioned me to continue what I was doing, but now with a deeper sense of spiritual mission. In this service there are no restrictions placed on us, relative to dating. The normal standards of Christian purity (chasity) applied, of course. Well...for three more years, though my eyes were always open to opportunity, I continued to serve, with no real dating.

After I'd been in Korea about six years God gave me a clear direction--that I was to return to America for graduate theological training. I would leave the mission field in one year, for three years of study. And so I prayed, "Lord, it looks like I will not find someone here. So, I'll stop looking and just trust you."

I figured I was going to Mecca (Springfield, MO), where we had a university, a Bible college, and a seminary...surely the lady of my dreams would be there.

Alas, in the last six months of my Korea mission, my Korean roommate invites me to meet with his sister. He wants me to coach her for a job interview. She is applying to be an English teacher, and will be interviewed by a native speaker. He winks and jokes, "You can date her if you like."

We courted for nearly three years--two by long distance. Then her parents came out to meet my family, and, with their blessing, we were wed." Over 16 years and three children later...God is good!

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I just came over this site and I figured i have a question! I've heard of people marrying someone they met on their mission, I know people in my ward and several wards around did. Some of them were in love during their mission, some fell for eachother after. Just recently we had an elder and a sistermissionary that just got home and got engaged to eachother. Then i read the talk "Lock your heart" where it says that if you marry someone you met during your mission - that's NOT something to be proud of. And mish presidents keep telling their missionaries that they will not find their eternal spouse in the field. :blink: I realize that they're not on a mission to check out the meat-market but hey, it does happen!

Did you or someone you know marry someone they met on their mission? What's the story and how did things work out?

I looove love stories that goes "against all odds"!:wub:

I did! All went well, Our Mission President said, you can go "window shopping but do not touch the merchandise!" I think he meant to say it's natural to sometimes look at the person of the opposite sex. Just don't say anything that would lead to romantic relationship while on the mission. Also, I think it means it's natural to look at the person of the opposite sex. just don't go looking for someone to marry, instead, focus on your mission.

Yes I'm aware of Spencer W. Kimball's "Lock your Heart" when I was on a mission. He also said there that if a missionary has a boyfriend or girlfriend back home they should lock them in. that if they returned to their area after their mission for a boy or a girl they have short-lived their mission. While serving as a Bishop in our ward I asked this question to the general authority who interviewed me. He said that maybe the reason why President Kimball said that was because during his time many missionaries inclined themselves to finding someone to marry instead of focusing on their work. I personally believe that the content in President Kimball's talk of Lock your heart in the mission wasn't necessarily a rule. After all, there should not be any Temple Marriage served to those who met each other while the one of them was serving a mission.

I think it's safe to say that some are exempted to the rule. For instance, I had a co-missionary who had a batch mate in the MTC who was only 18 years old. And it's a Sister! Yes, an 18-year-old full time missionary Sister. Can't believe it myself. Maybe she was just too darn obedient to be called to serve. She didn't apply to serve. She was called.

I served my mission when I was 26 years old. I was the oldest Elder in our mission. Well, it wasn't so much of an exception because I turned in my application at 25. I got my call at 26. hehe!

Anyway, my point is, marriage is also a calling. The President who wrote the "Lock Your Heart" was the same president who advised, "When you pray about marriage, pray that you do not marry the one you love but that you learn to love the one you marry." That's exactly what I did. I prayed and asked the Lord to lead me to the right person that I should marry. And it wasn't my then current girlfriend who also happened to be a returned missionary. Instead, my prayers lead me to return to my 4th area (I had 7), a small town where most things are simple. I was lead to this unassuming little fine Sister of the Church.

To make a long story short We both fasted and prayed about it. I fasted 5 times in straight 5 Sundays. She fasted 4 times in 4 straight Sundays! We both received answers to each of our fasts. I/she was the one! We both received a scripture passage in our dreams on our last fasting, which was a warning to both of us. I got mine from the Old Testament. She got hers from the Book of Mormon. Both were given by an angel in our dreams. Amazingly the scripture passages have one message, and it goes like this: If you do not obey my commandment I'll curse you down to your 4th generation! I guess the Lord got very weary of our repeated asking, lol! So there we go. Married each other in the Philippines Manila Temple! It was the most spiritual experience I ever had. Still unsurpassed up to now!

I got married as an answer to a call: to raise a family and pull down a portion of the Celestial Kingdom to our Home. several weeks after that I was called as Bishop. Then served as Branch President in my wife's hometown, then served as District Clerk, Family History Director, Elders Quorum 2nd councilor, Institute Teacher. So I don't think that with those callings after my marriage I sinned for finding my spouse within the bounds of my mission, did I? I think a missionary who married someone from his mission is not at sin so long as he focused on his work--To be The Lord's Errand and Representative. I am proud to say I served my mission well and returned home with honor.

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Guest mormonmusic

I got engaged to someone I met on my mission. She was a beauty queen, charismatic, had an endearing Welsh accent...boatloads of common intersts and wonderful qualities. We knew we liked each other on her mission, but did nothing inappropriate. At the end of her mission, her father, a stake president, released her in my home country, and we dated, and got engaged after 3 days of being together.

And then it fell apart over a period of 6 months.

I learned that you need to really spend a lot of time with the person to get to know them before you marry someone -- the temporary restrictions surrounding a missionary's experience, the halo effect of being a full-time missionary, and the narrow range of experience you have over short periods of time gives a highly unrealistic view of the person.

One of my friends married a girl from his mission recently -- on the strength of a couple weeks of time spent together after their mission. In the temple too -- I think he took a huge risk. Perhaps he had undeniable revelation -- I hope so, but based on my own experiences, I think the risks are substantial.

Edited by mormonmusic

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I got engaged to someone I met on my mission. She was a beauty queen, charismatic, had an endearing Welsh accent...boatloads of common intersts and wonderful qualities. We knew we liked each other on her mission, but did nothing inappropriate. At the end of her mission, her father, a stake president, released her in my home country, and we dated, and got engaged after 3 days of being together.

And then it fell apart over a period of 6 months.

I learned that you need to really spend a lot of time with the person to get to know them before you marry someone -- the temporary restrictions surrounding a missionary's experience, the halo effect of being a full-time missionary, and the narrow range of experience you have over short periods of time gives a highly unrealistic view of the person.

One of my friends married a girl from his mission recently -- on the strength of a couple weeks of time spent together after their mission. In the temple too -- I think he took a huge risk. Perhaps he had undeniable revelation -- I hope so, but based on my own experiences, I think the risks are substantial.

We can only pray they did the right thing.:)

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Guest gopecon

Anim82r - I think the rule is, don't look for prospects while you are serving. If it happens by chance later, there's no problem. Lock your heart isn't a "rule" or "commandment" in the sense that don't commit adultery or don't bear false witness are. It's more like the Savior's teachings in the Sermon on the Mount about anger and looking on a woman with lust. It's an internal issue that you won't face official consequences for unless you take those thoughts and act upon them inappropriately. Being the fallible humans that we are, I doubt that too many missionaries go through their whole time without ever thinking about marriage prospects, but the more they dwell on those thoughts, the less focused they will be on the work and the more likely they will be to make a terrible mistake.

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anim82r - i think the rule is, don't look for prospects while you are serving. If it happens by chance later, there's no problem. Lock your heart isn't a "rule" or "commandment" in the sense that don't commit adultery or don't bear false witness are. It's more like the savior's teachings in the sermon on the mount about anger and looking on a woman with lust. It's an internal issue that you won't face official consequences for unless you take those thoughts and act upon them inappropriately. Being the fallible humans that we are, i doubt that too many missionaries go through their whole time without ever thinking about marriage prospects, but the more they dwell on those thoughts, the less focused they will be on the work and the more likely they will be to make a terrible mistake.

exactly!:)

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