He wants a divorce. Its over. How do I save it?

[SoCal_Counselor]

Prettyrose, I just read through this thread. First of all, I am so sorry you had to go through that horrible experience. Forgive me if this sounds crude; while there are many differences, there are many similarities between your situation and a rape victim.

1. Control is a big issue with rape perpetrators. This was the case with your husband. He didn't want you to talk about it, wanted you to have the morning after pill, and did not want you to talk about the temple. I imagine there were many other aspects of his behaviors that were also controlling.

2. Rape victims often blame themselves for what has happened. You have definitely done that. Guilt is one of the stages of grief.

3. The perpetrator is usually not a stranger, and is someone with whom the victim is very close to. Marital rape is very common, and is usually kept as a secret.

4. The perpetrator will often have extensive planning before carrying out the rape.

What you need to know, is what you husband did was completely wrong. It was not your fault. What I know is that we have a loving Heavenly Father who knows and loves everyone of us. I know that he has a plan for each of us. I know that he knows what happened between you and your husband. Why would or could something like this happen? I don't know, but I know that HE does. Trust Him. Keep your head up prettyrose. Keep your faith strong. You will get through this!

[CTR4life]

I'm sorry for you, I can't imagine how are you feeling about it but I'm glad you had gotten the anulment.

Trust the Lord he has the healing power you need most in this hard time.

TRUST HIM!!

[Forget-Me-Not]

I'm sorry for you, I can't imagine how are you feeling about it but I'm glad you had gotten the anulment.

Trust the Lord he has the healing power you need most in this hard time.

TRUST HIM!!

Yes, prettyrose, trust Him! You know this, I know, but He knows what you've gone through completely. Not a tear or pain you've suffered in this that He does not know intimately and has perfect love, understanding, and compassion for!

I'm going through something myself, that is a worse pain than any I've suffered in my life, or any that I could have even imagined, and I truly could not endure it if I did not know my Lord knows exactly what I'm suffering. He is the only one who can truly know, and the only complete and pure source of comfort and healing for us in this world.

I'm reminding myself of this as I'm reminding you of it. It's something I have to do each and every day, sometimes many times each day. But He is ever there, if we allow Him to be, wanting us to give our sufferings and burdens to his care and give us the peace that can only come from Him.