Is it "wrong" to wait to have children?


zuko725
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Are you aware of the questions that were asked in this thread? The question of "what do you think?" was asked in the advice thread mind you and I am answering. The thread is entitled "is it "wrong" to wait to have children?". Please excuse me for responding to a thread on a forum. How dare I speak my mind indeed. Wow.

Am I unaware that the right of freedom of speech was taken away? We fight for our freedom of speech but when people disagree with us- it is suddenly a outrage.

"The First Amendment exists to insure that freedom of speech and expression applies not just to that with which we agree or disagree, but also that which we find outrageous" Colin Powell

You are free and anyone is free to ignore my thoughts and to ignore what Presidents of the Church have said regarding to preventing the start of a family. I never said you have to agree with me or follow my advice or the advice of the Prophets.

ROFL.

:lol:

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But yet those quotes are still in the current eternal marriage handbook for the eternal marriage institute classes that are currently taught. If were were to disregard quotes from long ago regarding birth control- why would those quotes still be in the current student eternal marriage handbooks?

So if something a Prophet was said long ago- that means it has no meaning anymore to you? The Church recognizes and still applies quotes from Prophets of old. The quotes from long ago are still studied, applied, taught and still in official Church materials today. We still study Prophets from old and their quotes. Such as the "Teachings of Presidents of The Church: [Jospeh Smith, etc]".

Do you disregard the scriptures because they were written long ago? Do you only apply God's commandments if you feel they are convenient to your time?

So does an older prophet trumpet current revelation from a current prophet?

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But yet those quotes are still in the current eternal marriage handbook for the eternal marriage institute classes that are currently taught. If were were to disregard quotes from long ago regarding birth control- why would those quotes still be in the current student eternal marriage handbooks?

So if something a Prophet was said long ago- that means it has no meaning anymore to you? The Church recognizes and still applies quotes from Prophets of old. The quotes from long ago are still studied, applied, taught and still in official Church materials today. We still study Prophets from old and their quotes. Such as the "Teachings of Presidents of The Church: [Jospeh Smith, etc]".

Do you disregard the scriptures because they were written long ago? Do you only apply God's commandments if you feel they are convenient to your time?

I don't disregard things; I put heavier weight on statements made more recently. The Church Handbook of Instructions was published in 2010. The eternal marriage institute class manual was published 2001.

Regardless, I'm not going to take the correlation and curriculum department's decisions for what is relevant to our time. I'm going to consider more heavily the most recent statements I can find, and try to understand the social and cultural circumstances of the statements from past leaders so I can best understand how their counsel might apply to the circumstances of the world I live in.

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Kyman,

As soon as you take your conviction on this topic & try to apply it to other people, you are in the wrong.

HiJolly

Yes, and the correct answer is "it's between you and your spouse and the Lord". Not "what Kyman said".

HiJolly

Who is taking their conviction and trying to apply it to other people now??

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Kyman,

As soon as you take your conviction on this topic & try to apply it to other people, you are in the wrong.

HiJolly

Yes, and the correct answer is "it's between you and your spouse and the Lord". Not "what Kyman said".

HiJolly

Who is taking their conviction and trying to apply it to other people now??

I don't think that was as clever an idea as you thought it was.

"How dare you thrust your apathy upon me!"

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Where are the quotes from President Monson Backroads?

Kyman, please read carefully:

It is the privilege of married couples who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for the spirit children of God, whom they are then responsible to nurture and rear. The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter. (Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2: Administering the Church, 21.4.4)

She'll do you one better...President Monson plus 14 others.

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Are you not judging me according to what I think of when married couples should have kids?

I don't know about Backroads, but I'm totally judging you based on your opinion. But I'm biased against people with certain personality traits. I know, I need to repent of that, but I'm not ready to do that just yet. :P

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Am I unaware that the right of freedom of speech was taken away? We fight for our freedom of speech but when people disagree with us- it is suddenly a outrage.

"The First Amendment exists to insure that freedom of speech and expression applies not just to that with which we agree or disagree, but also that which we find outrageous" Colin Powell

Correction: On this forum you do not have the Right to Freedom of Speech. You have been granted the privilege to speak your mind, by the people who fund LDS.net. And just in case you think I am joking, just ask any troll, spammer, or person generally found to be disruptive how quickly the mods will pull that privilege out from under you.

Feel free to defend you position within the limits of the rules, but please don't confuse LDS.net with the government in your attempts to defend your position.

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That is true, official church materials are reviewed and approved by the Prophet and the 12. Which means they also reviewed and approved the church official eternal student marriage handbook which is used for the current eternal marriage insitute classes that are currently taught.

I still strongly feel married couples in the church should not postpone starting their family. I'll tell you what- I know I am definitely not the only one who feels this way. I know many, many couples in the church that did not postpone starting a family and everything worked out. Not to say things weren't always easy for them but they were blessed, happy and don't regret their decision of not waiting to start their family.

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That is true, official church materials are reviewed and approved by the Prophet and the 12. Which means they also reviewed and approved the church official eternal student marriage handbook which is used for the current eternal marriage insitute classes that are currently taught.

I still strongly feel married couples in the church should not postpone starting their family. I'll tell you what- I know I am definitely not the only one who feels this way. I know many, many couples in the church that did not postpone starting a family and everything worked out. Not to say things weren't always easy for them but they were blessed, happy and don't regret their decision of not waiting to start their family.

I'll tell you what. I know many families who put serious thought and prayer into making this decision and decided that they should wait to start their families. It still wasn't easy for them, but they were blessed, and are happy, and don't regret their decision to wait to start their family.

Oh no. We have examples on both sides of the argument. What do we do?

Hmmmm...let people figure it out for themselves, maybe?

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Correction: On this forum you do not have the Right to Freedom of Speech. You have been granted the privilege to speak your mind, by the people who fund LDS.net. And just in case you think I am joking, just ask any troll, spammer, or person generally found to be disruptive how quickly the mods will pull that privilege out from under you.

Feel free to defend you position within the limits of the rules, but please don't confuse LDS.net with the government in your attempts to defend your position.

True. In which case I mean have the forum rules changed, that I can't speak and defend my position within the forum rules.

Edited by Kyman
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That is true, official church materials are reviewed and approved by the Prophet and the 12. Which means they also reviewed and approved the church official eternal student marriage handbook which is used for the current eternal marriage insitute classes that are currently taught.

I still strongly feel married couples in the church should not postpone starting their family. I'll tell you what- I know I am definitely not the only one who feels this way. I know many, many couples in the church that did not postpone starting a family and everything worked out. Not to say things weren't always easy for them but they were blessed, happy and don't regret their decision of not waiting to start their family.

Something posted like this would have sufficed.

The approach you took prior was repellent.

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Are you not judging me according to what I think of when married couples should have kids?

Admittedly, I am.

But here is my reasoning: I don't judge people's family sizes and when they came about because there is far too much I don't know about this family or care to know.

From the information you have given me, I judge that you do not care about family's testimony, faith, prayers, communication with God & priesthood leaders, personal and individual situations, revelations, etc.

Yes, we are advised not to delay starting families at the expense of having nice things by the world's standards, but we are also advised to be prayerful and communicate with God.

Which is the higher law?

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All right, Kyman, I think I have been too unfair to you.

Largely, I agree with you. I think too often selfish personal reasons trump the need to start a family. I think having a family is good.

But I am also vehemently against people having kids knowing full well they are not ready to take care of them.

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Guest Julielaraine

Kyman, please read carefully:

Exactly! I remember sitting with a friend during Stake Conference. A talk about this was given. She got big tears in her eyes and said " Do I really need to have more children".

She had 4 small children. She was overwhelmed!

I said, " NO, you don't. If you feel done, then that is the answer.

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Don't let what anyone here says sway you one way or the other, regarding waiting to have kids (or not). It is between you and your husband. Period. Yes, the official church doctrine is now "Why Wait? Hurry up and get married!", but I strongly disagree with this position. I honestly don't understand why the Church insists on missionaries getting back from their mission and getting engaged and married, sometimes within months. If you and your husband are 'secure' financially, and feel you are prepared (as much as anyone can be) to have children, then do so. It isn't the church's position to tell you to start having children before you should be. It is between you and your husband and God.

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Don't let what anyone here says sway you one way or the other, regarding waiting to have kids (or not). It is between you and your husband. Period. Yes, the official church doctrine is now "Why Wait? Hurry up and get married!", but I strongly disagree with this position. I honestly don't understand why the Church insists on missionaries getting back from their mission and getting engaged and married, sometimes within months. If you and your husband are 'secure' financially, and feel you are prepared (as much as anyone can be) to have children, then do so. It isn't the church's position to tell you to start having children before you should be. It is between you and your husband and God.

Did you not see the post on what the Handbook of instructions says? Here is the "official" church stance:

It is the privilege of married couples who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for the spirit children of God, whom they are then responsible to nurture and rear. The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter. (Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2: Administering the Church, 21.4.4)

Now, how is that the church telling people to have children before the parents are ready?

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