I'm very saddened and shocked


Echo2002
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I just found out a guy I used to know is being charged with 3 counts of child molestation. He has actually confessed to his Bishop of molesting 10 girls, but they only had three that came forward.

I don't know what to think about this. I feel sorry for the girls and what they went through, at the same time I feel sorry for Anthony. He was such a nice soft spoken guy, kind of goofy at times. He would do anything to help you out, he helped me move once. I guess this is kind of a lesson for me in not assuming someone is a horrible evil person because of a mistake they've made. I hate to think of what they are going to do to him in jail.

Accused Molester Anthony Webster Confessed to More Victims | MyFox Memphis | Fox 13 News

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Its really hard to hate them when you know them isnt it. I have trouble myself deciding how I feel. The best I have come up with is that they have a part of them that is very very sick and it is next to impossible to cure. They need to be kept completely away from kids for both the kids sakes and their own no matter what that takes. I would rather see a one time emotion driven murderer on the streets than a pedophile. That murderer is less likely to repeat than a pedophile.

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I just found out a guy I used to know is being charged with 3 counts of child molestation. He has actually confessed to his Bishop of molesting 10 girls, but they only had three that came forward.

I don't know what to think about this. I feel sorry for the girls and what they went through, at the same time I feel sorry for Anthony. He was such a nice soft spoken guy, kind of goofy at times. He would do anything to help you out, he helped me move once. I guess this is kind of a lesson for me in not assuming someone is a horrible evil person because of a mistake they've made. I hate to think of what they are going to do to him in jail.

Accused Molester Anthony Webster Confessed to More Victims | MyFox Memphis | Fox 13 News

Molesting multiple children is not a "mistake". A mistake is when you put sugar in a recipe when you meant to put in salt. Molesting children is a choice.

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It is hard when you know the person. I always had the attitude of locking them up in prison and throwing away the key. I know he should never be allowed near children for his sake and more importantly theirs. I'm glad he got caught or confessed before it escalated to more than fondling. The news articles I've read don't say if he confessed first then turned himself in or he got caught first and then confessed to the Bishop.

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Being really nice is how sexual predators gain your trust. We also had a "nice" paper boy - really friendly guy. I was 11 when he tried to get into our house when my parents were gone. I slammed the door and told him no. Later he was charged with abusing a 2-year-old. She was bleeding and there was no hiding what he had done. :(

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You can feel love and even forgiveness for someone while still acknowledging that they've made some terrible decisions that need consequences. There is good and bad in everyone. I doubt that any person in prison is 100% evil. Most have someone who loves them and knows them aside from their crimes. They're still criminals. It has to be a shock and very unsettling that someone you know and didn't suspect was capable of this. I'm sure it's hard to swallow. But I'm very glad that this man is where he belongs. I wish him luck in his repentance process, and a lifetime kept away from children.

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Guest mirancs8

It is very hard when you know someone and then this type of event comes about. It makes you wonder how well you really knew this person. People who do this are suffering from a sickness that most of us couldn't imagine in our wildest dreams.

What is really sad to me is that they will lock him up in a prison that will in no way give him the psychological help that he needed. In fact most of the inmates will focus on one thing and that's ending that mans existance here on earth.

People like him need to go into a psychiatric hospital, but unfortunately they've done away with that option. We need to find an alternative to prison for people who have these sicknesses.

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Molesting multiple children is not a "mistake". A mistake is when you put sugar in a recipe when you meant to put in salt. Molesting children is a choice.

I don't think she was referring to the action being a mistake. I think she was referring to his decision. Choices and mistakes are not mutually exclusive of each other.

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At one point he was someone's child. I often wonder what has happened in a person's life that they would make such devastating choices. I'm glad he had the courage to confess. The repentance process for what he's done is more than difficult.

My heart breaks when I hear these stories.... for the children, for the families, for everyone.

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Yes, mirancs, that is why I feel so sad for him. He's not going to get the help he needs in prison, if anything it will get worse because he will most likely be sexually assaulted himself along with who knows what else. When you've seen the good side of someone it's hard for the bad to erase all of that.

I also can't help but wonder if he was molested as a child. It's no excuse for what he's done, but at least it would give some perspective in what he was thinking.

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Unfortunate for both sides, however, more so for the victims than anyone. When you commit a heinous offense like this, there are severe consequences and come in all sorts of forms: losing loved ones (ie. Family, spouse, children), incarceration, prison life and its harsh realities, etc. Fair or not, one time offense or not, we live with our actions and the consequences that follow.

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Sorry, but I cannot understand sympathy for a sexual offender - except by a victim due to stockholmes syndrome or the like.

Personally I don't care how "nice" or "loving" or "generous" or "sincere" an offender appears, if he/she has or does sexually abuses children, than as far as I'm concerned, imprisonment is the only way, long-term imprisonment for a one-timer and life for a serial offender unless he/she has many, many hours of therapy (from studies I've researched it takes on average 129 hours minimum for a child-sex offender to become "rehabilitated" and even than recidivism rates are significantly high) and then to be monitored for the rest of their lives.

If they seek out help themselves without someone else pushing them to do it (like only confessing because someone else has found out and is going to tell everyone), it's a different matter. But if a person has molested 10 children, I'm sorry, but the boat left the island long ago, it is incomprehensible that someone could allow it to go on for so long.

It is not a mistake - it's a crime, it's a purposeful act that damages and destroys other's lives as long as they are alive.

If he was a serial murderer, would you feel differently? If he had your aunt, or mother or daughter buried under his floorboards, would you feel differently? Most serial murderers throughout history are family men, who are charming and kind and loving and most have managed to live "under" the radar for long periods of time whilst raping and/or murdering their victims.

Personally, having been raped as a child, I can tell you, that I regard it worse than murder.

Also, it's unlikely that he'll be placed in with "normal" inmates - they normally separate rapists and child-sex offenders from the rest of inmate population as of due course due to how many prison murders of rapists and paedophiles occurred in the past.

As for therapy - some prisons offer it, some don't, here in Australia there are about 4 that I know of that offer therapy specifically designed for child-sex offenders. And they have to really want the therapy to get it too - prove that they want to change. There are also programs offered for those on parole.

I know this because for my thesis I wrote a paper on sex-offenders rehabilitation. Was a very depressing subject.

So I'm sorry, I have no sympathy for any child-sex offender.

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Sorry, but I cannot understand sympathy for a sexual offender - except by a victim due to stockholmes syndrome or the like.

You cannot understand sympathy for a fellow human being? Seriously? You literally cannot understand it?

On my mission, I knew an investigator who had been involved in sex with other men since his very early childhood. He had grown up thinking that "loving" another person meant, as a part of it, that you engaged in sex with him. Because of his continuing struggle with his background, he could not be baptized, despite having a sincere testimony of the gospel and a real love for the Church.

But if I understand you correctly, you are proclaiming that if my acquaintance fell into his lifelong habits and engaged in sexual relations with someone under the age of consent -- someone raised the same way he was raised -- then not only would you be unable to have any sympathy for him, but you would literally be unable to understand anyone else's having sympathy for him -- me, for example.

Right?

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Sorry, but I cannot understand sympathy for a sexual offender - except by a victim due to stockholmes syndrome or the like.

I'll start by saying I understand this attitude. Anyone who has been a victim or knows a victim will be hardpressed to conjur any sympathy for such a perpetrator.

This is about as bad as it gets...destroying a child's innocence for selfish, predatory, sexual and power gratification. Is this sin greater than Christ's redemption, for one who is repentant?

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Almost all sex offenders were abused as children. They learn that is what sex is. If the abuse was long term their bodies respond to that stimulus. I dont want to be too specific but at times I have found myself responding to similarities from my being molested. It made it very clear to me that we can be something like 'imprinted' by early sexual experiences.

Yes I feel sorry for them. It is a circle of pain and abuse that has to be stopped and stopping it is not easy.

There is no way we can condone what they do but we can try to understand and do what we can to break the circle even if that means imprisoning pedophiles long term. We would be best off if we learned not to hate them but to do what we can to keep things like that from passing on to new victims.

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I can certainly understand you're point of view FunnySheila, but you should also try to understand mine. When I knew Anthony, he was not the person he is now. Something happened either in his past or in the past couple of years that has turned him into this. It's horrible what he did to those girls and I'm glad it has stopped. I feel bad for the fact that he is probably not going to get the help he needs while in prison. Most likely he will be excommunicated, but I hope he can continue through with the repentance process and get some support from the church if he wants it.

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He used his free agency to take away someone else's innocence. He deserves the consequences of his actions. Hopefully an extended period of time in prison where he can not take away someone else's innocence. Being in prison is not likely to affect his "ability to rehabilitate." Sex offenders have deviant sexual drives and generally do not choose to, either get rehabilitation, or follow through with their rehabiliation. Sex offender recidivism is extremely high. You won't find me sympathetic towards them either.

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I myself being a survivor (now 43) of child sexual abuse by my father who was a melchezidick preisthood holder...wishes that my Dad would repent and come back to church since his excommunication. I forgive him and all but I wonder if there has been anyone else that was affected by his behavior.

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At one point he was someone's child. I often wonder what has happened in a person's life that they would make such devastating choices. I'm glad he had the courage to confess. The repentance process for what he's done is more than difficult.

My heart breaks when I hear these stories.... for the children, for the families, for everyone.

I don't think you can ever really place blame on the parents. Sometimes people are just sick minded.

And, People are never what they seem. I have a really hard time trusting anyone because of it.

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I don't think you can ever really place blame on the parents. Sometimes people are just sick minded.

And, People are never what they seem. I have a really hard time trusting anyone because of it.

Lizzy, I think I understand where you are coming from. Yes, pedophiles and sexual predators of all sorts often seem 'normal' and even 'nice'. That's part of what helps some people to deny the reality of what goes on.

And, yes, people are often different than what they seem. But I wouldn't use the word 'never'. There are good people who are exactly what they seem - good people.

I have had to work hard on regaining my trust in people because of things that happened in my life. But I know without a doubt that there are still people in this world who 'seem' good....and truly are.

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Take a look at these and I think you will understand why I say what I say, feel what I feel, and think what I think.

There are many, many more of these documentaries put out by BBC featuring this same Paedophile unit who investigate child-sex crimes and work towards putting these child-sex offenders away.

BBC's documentary featuring the Scotland Yard's Paedophile unit - investigating and trying to put away child-sex offenders.

Video 1 Part 1: The Hunt for Britain's Paedophiles 1.1 - YouTube

Video 1 Part 2: The Hunt for Britain's Paedophiles 1.2 - YouTube

Video 1 Part 3: The Hunt for Britain's Paedophiles 1.3 - YouTube

Watch their faces as they lie, watch them say over and over and over again that, "yes, I did this or that in the past, but not anymore," or, "yes, I'm aroused by boys but that's all in the past now," or, "No, I would never think of a child like that, it disgusts me," or, "No, I don't have any child-pornography in my house," whilst the cops are searching their place right in front of their eyes. Saying it so calmly or indignantly. Listen to the man say that kids are the one's doing it to adults - not adults abusing kids, basically him saying that kids are assaulting adults just by being that they are purposefully trying to get adults to want them. Talking about children as though they are objects. Using them like objects.

The vast majourity of children who were abused as children do not grow up to become abusers. If that were the case we'd have one in four women as child-sex offenders when the actual fact is that 98% of child-sex offenders are straight males. In any case, it is no excuse.

Most paedophiles - or child-sex offenders, don't want to change. The vast majourity reoffend, and reoffend and reoffend regardless of how many times they are convicted or imprisoned or therapy sessions they take. Therapy only works for a minourity - only for those who really really want to change and who actually feel bad for what they've done.

And no, I still have no sympathy for child-sex offenders, except like I said the ones who do everything in their power to stay away from children, who don't get down the track having abused 10 kids before they do anything about it, who seek therapy and help, and going to those in position of power to ask for help so they can be held accountable.

I said I don't have any sympathy, and that I can't understand people who have sympathy for those who commit child-sex offenders - NOT that I don't forgive. As we know, it is required by our Saviour that we must forgive all who trespass against us as a condition of being forgiven. I forgive he who raped me as a child. I forgive my family who take his word over mine because I was a child and he was an "upstanding" and "righteous" man who worked with children (not anymore). I forgive my family who feel sympathy for him because obviously it was just a "mistake" - not caring that it has taken years of my life, causing me immense pain that only seems to go away when I read the scriptures and pray because I know my Heavenly Father died not only to take away my sins, but also to shoulder my pain and my burdens. I forgive my mother who told me that it was my fault that he raped me because I must've seduced him. I forgive my cousin who told me that "God will forgive you for not being a virgin anymore and for having sex with him," even though I was the one who had my virginity taken away from me before I even understood what sex was (at 5). I forgive my mother who would leave me in his care every week for years even when I begged her to take me with her and when I come home bleeding and with raw painful parts. And again her not doing anything but hiting me across the head when she saw that I had yet once again cut up my arms in self-harm to cope with the agonising self-hate because that was the only reason I could fathom as to why he would do all those awful things to me - it must've been my fault. I forgive. And I have to work hard to forgive. I pray and pray and pray to forgive. To not hate. But I do forgive with His help every single day to the best of my ability.

But that doesn't mean that I forgive any other child-sex offender. As far as I'm concerned it is up to their victims to be forgiven - and obviously Jesus Christ with the attonement. But I don't believe I have the right to forgive them as they haven't damaged me. I only have the right to forgive the one who wronged me.

Can a child-sex offender be forgiven by Christ's attonement??? Of course. But forgiveness comes only with repentance and leaving ones sins behind. Say a serial killer has urges to kill... we can understand that, but he has to leave behind murdering people when it comes down to things - and putting himself as far from temptation as possible.

And just because I've forgiven the one who raped me as a child, doesn't mean that I have any sympathy for him, or understand why anyone else would have sympathy for him.

For some reason, many people seem to regard child-sex offences as being almost trivial - unless it happens to their own kids (and not all people - like my own family - will give two hoots about it). Hence the minimal sentences handed down to child sex offenders. I had one relative say that it couldn't have really been that bad because I seemed to be ok (does cutting up your arms almost every day from the age of 5 and trying to kill yourself as a child sound ok??? Does crying yourself to sleep for years when you're 8,9,10,11 and so on because you can't tell anyone sound ok???).

So yes, for those who seek it, Jesus will bear our burdens and forgive us our sins. No, I still don't have sympathy. Forgiveness for the one who wronged me yes. But no sympathy.

Many people think that child-sex offenders are lovely people, so sincere, so caring and loving, and are shocked when they find out what they have been doing. Some are in so much denial that they refuse to believe the child-sex-offender could ever have committed such an act ever.

Edited by FunnySheila
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