How do I bring back the Spirit when others try to tear down my faith?

[MormonMama]

Ever since having an argument with two people on Amazon the other day about a book I reviewed 2 years ago (which I tried to keep from turning into an argument, but all they wanted to do was bash the Church and insult my intelligence; one of them followed me through THREE different reviews in an attempt to keep up the argument), I've had a hard time feeling the Spirit. It's not that they've shaken my faith at all, it's just that every time I try to do the things that usually bring the Spirit, like read my scriptures, read a Church-related book, listen to hymns, etc., even pray, I'm reminded of the argument and all the negative feelings associated with it.

How can I bring the Spirit back into my life when all the spiritual things I usually do just remind me of that argument and dredge up negative feelings again? I know this is a tactic of Satan to get me to stop engaging in spiritual activities, but how do I combat it?

I know I need to try and forget the argument and put the negative feelings behind me, but I've always had trouble just letting go of things that upset, hurt or anger me. How can I learn to let these feelings go and not let them interfere with my ability to feel the Spirit? I've tried to increase time spent focusing on spiritual things, but so far it isn't working and I've felt very negative all week. Others in my life have noticed my sour mood. Will it just take time?

[Backroads]

I have gotten into some Amazon arguments... Simple and straight-forward, click "ignore user". It may not be satisfying, but it is a quick way to end the conflict. Beyond that, forgetting the argument, it's a lot more difficult. In my experience it's mainly a matter of time. You can't change people, and that's a hard fact to change. I do suggest meditation along with your other things--for in meditation you are clearing your mind.

[MormonMama]

Thanks. I guess I'm just going to have to "ignore user" as soon as I see that their comments are negative from now on. I kind of feel like I'm burying my head in the sand or not taking advantage of a missionary opportunity by doing that, but my bipolar and depression just seem to make handling situations like that worse, and I've never been good and conveying my thoughts well through the written word. I've offended so many times where I haven't meant to that maybe I'm just not meant to share the Gospel in that way.

[prisonchaplain]

I do occasional reviews on Amazon. Though I've used the comment section, I really think they tend to be a backwater to the site. I learned a lot of what you might have been going through when I reviewed Jesus Camp, though. It's a documentary on a pentecostal children's camp. In my review I dispelled some myths, and tried to explain where the camp leaders were coming from, what the children were feeling (I was one, back in the day)...and for my efforts received about 3:1 negatives on how helpful my review was. Why? They decided they didn't like pentecostalism after seeing the film, and my review supported the faith. So, my review was not helpful. Thick skin is a wonderful thing. I could have written a much more "helpful" review, that would have done far less good.

Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: Jesus Camp (1st one on page, by prison rev)

Edited February 9, 2012 by prisonchaplain
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[Blocky]

Maybe you need to stop trying to forget it and totally think about it. Don't run from it, chase it down, tell it how you feel, analyze it, don't shy away from it.

I've had things that would pop up in my mind years later (usually me saying something less than socially graceful) and every time I'd pop up I'd feel bad, dragged down and so I'd try to distract myself and think of something else. The moment I stopped shying away from it, and thought of it all the way, that's when I got over it and it stopped mattering to me. The next time it popped up, I was like 'so what!' and that was that.

[Guest]

Go to the temple! I got to go last week. Our local temple is closed, so it was a sacrifice that involved driving a few hours (with 5 kids!) and staying a couple of days with a friend. But the peace and clarity I was blessed with made it totally worth it. If you can't do that, get on your knees and pray. Do something for someone. Just keep trying. :)

[MormonMama]

Maybe you need to stop trying to forget it and totally think about it. Don't run from it, chase it down, tell it how you feel, analyze it, don't shy away from it.

I actually tried that earlier in the week, thinking maybe I just needed to "burn it off", and it left me feeling absolutely horrible and like I didn't want to associate with anyone for fear that somehow some offense would come up and I'd be involved in another argument.

Go to the temple! I got to go last week. Our local temple is closed, so it was a sacrifice that involved driving a few hours (with 5 kids!) and staying a couple of days with a friend. But the peace and clarity I was blessed with made it totally worth it. If you can't do that, get on your knees and pray. Do something for someone. Just keep trying. :)

I wish I could, but we're behind on tithing right now.

I will be seeing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir tomorrow though, thanks to someone who gave two free tickets to my daughter. Maybe that will help.

[Still_Small_Voice]

I have been having some issues dealing with someone who in my judgment is a narcissist. Some angry feelings have been developing in me toward this person. The best solution I can come up with so far with my problem is to pray and then ignore it. Just do not focus on the negative things that drag you down. Life is too short to dwell on things that just make you unhappy.

(And I really need to take this advice to heart in my own life with other issues.)

[Leah]

I actually tried that earlier in the week, thinking maybe I just needed to "burn it off", and it left me feeling absolutely horrible and like I didn't want to associate with anyone for fear that somehow some offense would come up and I'd be involved in another argument.

I wish I could, but we're behind on tithing right now.

I will be seeing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir tomorrow though, thanks to someone who gave two free tickets to my daughter. Maybe that will help.

Even if you don't currently hold a recommend, I would advise to go and walk the grounds or sit in the waiting area where anyone can sit. (Our Temple also has an atrium open to anyone). I can guarantee that you will feel better.

[Dove]

Hello, Mormon Mama;

I relate to what your saying in the sense that when I get hurt by others I see as attackative it does bring me down and takes me a long time to get over...

Some things that help me to heal is to pray to understand why it is bothering me so much. (to pray for self honesty) To be gentle with myself if I need to grieve about it awhile. One big thing that has come to me over and over again in dealing with my hurt is to focus on forgiving and even praying for the people who have offended me....

So often it comes down to my self esteem. That somewhere in my hurt I believe that I deserve the unkindness of others and that they are somehow correct or right to treat me the way they have. This is a big issue for me that I am working on. Along with praying and scripture study, reaching out to those I know love me and will be positive with me for support is helpful. Doing things that are productive and positive (like cleaning my house, being kind to others, serving etc.) is helpful too.

Best of wishes in working through this..

Dove

[applepansy]

Mormonmama, just start paying tithing from this point forward. Usually you only have to be consistent for 3 months. But talk to your bishop about it. then you can get back to the temple and find the peace and the spirit you're seeking.

[Backroads]

I was thinking of your situation today and thought of an experience of my own. It was a story I had written on fanfiction.net that loosely involved Mormons. Some girl wrote a review that consisted entirely of Mormon bashing. I was bitter and angry and it did take awhile to get over it. Time was key there. Finally, a couple years had passed. I hadn't been angry about it for a very long time, just thought the girl strange. I finally replied, calmly, to the review.

The girl, by this time, had completely changed her attitude. She apologized for the review, admitted she had been very immature, and it all ended well.

I really think the separation from the incident is what helped me.

[jayanna]

MormonMama, what just helped me, just now is watching some faith-inspiring videos, I'll try to link one here...Finding Incredible: What Cancer?and Trials?Can Teach Us - Church News and Events

videos help me some, and reading the Ensign... also serving, visit a nursing home, soup kitchen, helping the missionaries, visit teaching, preparing to teach a primary class this Sunday, something like that

[busigirl7]

You sound a lot like me, I'm empathetic to the point of feeling other people's anger. Since I'm a new convert I'm still working to integrate that with the church. Anyway, it sounds like you took on some of their anger. Personally, I need time to myself to process when that happens. Sometimes I'll take a warm bath to relax myself, then lie down and just let myself open up and pray. I'll ask God to help me get rid of it. Since I'm new around these here parts, I've only been to the temple once and didn't have my recommend yet but I agree, going to the grounds was enough. I sat out there (it was freezing btw!) and closed my eyes and just soaked it in. I actually started to cry about something I was upset about and never in my life have I had this happen but my tears just suddenly dried up and the thing I was upset about was just gone *poof*.

I can't let myself get too deep with the anger on the internet. I feel it way too easily. Boy, the things people have to say about the church, yikes! I read a little because I want to keep up with public perception so I'll know what people need to be educated on but I can only handle a little bit at a time.

If I leave a review about something I don't usually keep up with comments and I've got my safe areas where I know folks aren't going to lash out. Gah! Protect yourself.

[Blackmarch]

Ever since having an argument with two people on Amazon the other day about a book I reviewed 2 years ago (which I tried to keep from turning into an argument, but all they wanted to do was bash the Church and insult my intelligence; one of them followed me through THREE different reviews in an attempt to keep up the argument), I've had a hard time feeling the Spirit. It's not that they've shaken my faith at all, it's just that every time I try to do the things that usually bring the Spirit, like read my scriptures, read a Church-related book, listen to hymns, etc., even pray, I'm reminded of the argument and all the negative feelings associated with it.

How can I bring the Spirit back into my life when all the spiritual things I usually do just remind me of that argument and dredge up negative feelings again? I know this is a tactic of Satan to get me to stop engaging in spiritual activities, but how do I combat it?

I know I need to try and forget the argument and put the negative feelings behind me, but I've always had trouble just letting go of things that upset, hurt or anger me. How can I learn to let these feelings go and not let them interfere with my ability to feel the Spirit? I've tried to increase time spent focusing on spiritual things, but so far it isn't working and I've felt very negative all week. Others in my life have noticed my sour mood. Will it just take time?

ok in regards to the first paragraphs when someone follows you around that is stalking and is called harassment. there are definite legal laws about that. If someone does that, you need to let them know that they are harassing you and the next thing you will do is get whoever is the authority involved.. if they still do it then contact whoever's in charge.. depending on the situation you could probably even get governmental intervention (altho it would probably be a pain in the rear to get that to pull through).

Second places like amazon or youtube bring in wolves.. just give your review and move on. Haters will hate, and no amount of logic or common sense will move them.

In regards to the spirit, don't engage with those seeking to fling mud, and go somewhere else where the atmosphere is more pro-spirit. (and i believe this is the real danger of getting into anti-literature, discussions is that the spirit leaves and is replaced with anger and hate)

Edited February 10, 2012 by Blackmarch

[DasMarcos]

This is for the original poster. You need to realize that there are people out there that THRIVE on making people's day miserable. People spend the whole day on the web trying to make someone else feel terrible. Don't let any naysayers get you down. Stay positive and in control of your emotions, and theirs. When you get upset, hurt, or antagonized in general you let them win.

Just be strong and know that anyone that who hurts you like this isn't someone you would want to associate with anyways. The internet can be a scary place. Heck, the real world can be a scary place. Just place yourself with people who love you, care about you, and who don't make you dissatisfied just for the sake of making you dissatisfied.

Good luck and God Bless.

[MormonMama]

Even if you don't currently hold a recommend, I would advise to go and walk the grounds or sit in the waiting area where anyone can sit. (Our Temple also has an atrium open to anyone). I can guarantee that you will feel better.

You're so right. I hadn't even thought of this, but we are actually going out to Mesa for a baby shower today and afterwards I'm going to stop by the temple and just walk the grounds and go in the visitors' center. It's better than nothing, that's for sure!!

So often it comes down to my self esteem. That somewhere in my hurt I believe that I deserve the unkindness of others and that they are somehow correct or right to treat me the way they have.

I think you might have hit on something there. I had horrible self-esteem growing up (in spite of growing up in a very loving and supportive family) and tried to commit suicide twice as a teenager in large part to being bullied and made fun of most of my childhood. Although my self-esteem is a lot better now, I think my subconscious is probably still very sensitive to anything I see as an attack on my self or my choices in life.

I think there is a false sense that we are somehow responsible for converting everyone around us - we open our mouths and say what we need to say, but then we respect the free will of everyone.

I know I definitely feel responsible for converting those around me. I feel so afraid that the things I say may inadvertently push people away from the Gospel instead of toward it, so when I'm in a Gospel discussion with someone and they get offended or refuse to see the truth I feel like I must have done something wrong and failed Heavenly Father in some way and that I'll be held accountable for that. I think that's why I get so upset by this type of thing. I wonder how much of it is my own failure to properly convey the Gospel.

ok in regards to the first paragraphs when someone follows you around that is stalking and is called harassment. there are definite legal laws about that. If someone does that, you need to let them know that they are harassing you and the next thing you will do is get whoever is the authority involved.. if they still do it then contact whoever's in charge.. depending on the situation you could probably even get governmental intervention (altho it would probably be a pain in the rear to get that to pull through).

I did report them, but I also put them on my ignore list so I don't know if any action was taken against them or not.

I did have the blessing and privilege of seeing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir live last night with my daughter (they were in Arizona for the first time since 1966 for our 100th birthday). They really helped infuse me with the Spirit and I felt better than I'd felt all week. Something about seeing and hearing them live accomplished what listening to recorded Church music just couldn't do. I'm so glad we were able to go (and so glad the tickets were free)!

Edited February 11, 2012 by MormonMama

[cwald]

For me, when I need a spiritual boost, I just like to take a walk. Nature is soothing to me. Good luck.

[Dove]

[quote name=MormonMama;652918

I think you might have hit on something there. I had horrible self-esteem growing up (in spite of growing up in a very loving and supportive family) and tried to commit suicide twice as a teenager in large part to being bullied and made fun of most of my childhood. Although my self-esteem is a lot better now' date=' I think my subconscious is probably still very sensitive to anything I see as an attack on my self or my choices in life.

e)!

Hello, MormonMama;

Thanks so much for sharing this. Wow, how intense!! I really relate, because I was bullied a lot throughout my school years. Unfortunately, my dad was very abusive to his whole family while I grew up. All this has really done a number on my self esteem. It's quite a battle for me to just feel a sense of well being day by day~

Thanks so much for your candour and kindness in responding to my post.

Dove