Pain,Fustration Looking for Direction

[kathysmike]

‎11 months post surgery, attempted last couple days pain pill free...broke down had to take one tonight. Still feels like they just cut last week. Not having a good time. Need to talk to some one who can help me. Tiered of living a stalled life, pain kicks in after an hour or so of simple activity. Perfect example, chopped veggies and shredded chesse for omelettes, by the time I started to fry the bacon and beat the eggs I was in a decent level of pain. Spending a couple of hours up and moving brings on the pain, a trip to the grocier store cost me a couple hour nap to recover.

I feel like my last year has been spent spinning my wheels. Need to make progress just do not have the physical energy.

I had an inffection on my lower right lung, that had to be removed or peeled away as one would peel an orange, the surgery was performed on March 7 2011. I attempted to return to work the last week in April, however my blood pressure was not stablized and I was barely able to stay concouis while at work due to my blood pressure being way to low. I was even passing out at stoplights and stop signs. Needless to say My doctor decided I needed another week or so to work on stabalizing the BP. While I was off the HR director called and told me it would be best if we ended our relationship as they were replacing the other personal in my location as well.

I am blessed in my living situation,we pay no rent or morgatge, we help with the utilities, food for the 3 of us, and any other expenses, my Father inlaw is covering my Carpayment and Insurance for now. We have my wife's SSDI, my son's SSI(from his momthers claim myex) and a token child support payment. Along with some help from our Ward.

I need to be able to step up and provide but I can not promisse myself or an employeer an honest full day of work, when the pain level peeks, I need to stop and rest, this is true on or off the pain meds which makes it a bit easier to cope with, but still will leave me feeling painful and exhusted.

Thanks just feeling overwhelmed and fustrated knowing what I need to do and not seeing away.

[MormonMama]

What does your doctor say about all this? Have you had a Priesthood blessing? I will pray for you.

[FT_PNG]

a short scripture to help...2 Corinthians 12:7-10...

God bless

[Dove]

Wow, it amazes me how much you have gone through....I really respect your strength in enduring what has been required of you..

And honestly, I feel you are expecting too much out of yourself given the health problems you are describing. It sound really dangerous for you to be passing out on the road....Probably better not to drive if your health causes you to do that. It sounds like, by what you've written that, you are wanting a semblance of normalcy in how you live your life. Your expectations and what is realistic for you to be able to do don't seem to match up right now.

My suggestion is to trust...Trust in God that He is working a perfect work in your life. He is keenly aware of you and your sufferings. This is not accidental; meaning, their is a purpose in all this for you.

Mosiah 3:19 comes to mind; "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his Father."

What do you think of "submitting" to that which the Lord sees as fit to inflict upon you throughout your life? Do you feel you can submit to the restrictions your health problems are placing on you and your way of living?

Please know I mean this in all good will...I believe honesty is important. I hope I haven't been too harsh in giving you my .02 cents worth.

Don't forget how deeply God loves you. Please read Doctrine and Covenants section 122~ The Lord's answer to Joseph Smith's pleadings to Him in some of his darkest hours.

I hope all this helps

Dove

[kathysmike]

Dove,

Thanks for your kind words. Sometimes, things do seem overwhelming. I was able to take care of the passingout by addressing my blood pressure was way too low. Again thanks for your kind words and thoughts.

[Dove]

Hello, Kathysmike;

Thank you... I'm glad and hope you are feeling better with your blood pressure being resolved and with you health overall....I have a lot of different health problems myself, along with others...

I have difficulty often in feeling overwhelmed. I tend to give up when I feel this way. Basically, why try when I'm going to fail anyway? I'm trying to focus on being happy for and doing what I can do without thinking so much about what I can't....The serenity prayer comes to mind as I write this; "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Partly because of my choices in life, there are many things I feel restricted in now. I try to be grateful for the most basic things. For a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food on my table. For my sanity. For God's awareness of and love for me. As I reflect on these things, more and more things come to my mind that I can be profoundly grateful for; A husband who loves me, family/friends who love me as well. My health, such as it is. Having had diabetes for 20+ years, I'm so grateful that I can still see, that I have my organs functioning as well as they are and that I still have my legs.

The greatest relationship/purpose in my life is Heavenly Father; the Godhead. Scripture study and prayer keep me plugged in to their love and guidance for me. This is where my sense of well being comes from.

Thanks

Dove

[Martain]

I can empathize with what you're going through and your desires to become well and provide for your family. Surely the Lord is with you in that desire.

There is indeed something I feel is a solution I can present. It's not much reading so please read the article's below as well as the other links I've provided. Ponder and pray about whether or not this solution would work for you for I'm convinced that it would.

If I were in your shoes and I wanted to recover, become pain and painkiller free, below is what I would do.

Part 1

Part 2

Additional Info

Additional Info

Scripture

Scripture

Scripture

[Yehshen]

Certainly all of the recommendations for prayer and referral to scripture are appropriate....

but wow, consider that maybe you are expecting too much of yourself and now is the time to treat yourself kindly. I had two major surgeries about 2 years ago, and it's only been within the past six months that I've felt back to myself again.

I stopped cooking after the surgery because it was too tiring to stand at the stove and lift the heavy pots/pans. I stopped going to the grocery store because walking the length of the store, then standing in line for 10 minutes, was too tiring.

I think this experience is normal, and we tend to discount because we think we should automatically bounce back.

PS - are you asking for help (I didn't, and I should have).

[kathysmike]

There is not much outside day to day help at our disposal, my wife has CP and uses a wheelchair I am the only one who drives, my son is a major help with what he can. The summer months are a bit easier as my mom is here and is able to run the errands and such, but she spends the winters in Floridia. My extended family have no idea what the situation really is. Iknow it sounds like a bunch of excuses which they but that is the way it is.

I am venting trying to work this mess of thoughts out. My support system has shrunk, I am failing at keeping my cool, lost it at church yesterday long story but felt "disrespected" made minor scene pulling wife and son out thier classes and stupidy stormed out. Without support of wife and son not sure how much longer I can keep it together.

trying to get in to see my Doctor later this week need answers, to the pain.

Edited February 21, 2012 by kathysmike
word replacement

[Martain]

I hope you'll read what I linked. The individual there was on multiple high level pain medications which even then were not enough. He found something that was even more effective for overcoming his pain then Lori-tabs.

[Dove]

There is not much outside day to day help at our disposal, my wife has CP and uses a wheelchair I am the only one who drives, my son is a major help with what he can. The summer months are a bit easier as my mom is here and is able to run the errands and such, but she spends the winters in Floridia. My extended family have no idea what the situation really is. Iknow it sounds like a bunch of excuses which they but that is the way it is.

I am venting trying to work this mess of thoughts out. My support system has shrunk, I am failing at keeping my cool, lost it at church yesterday long story but felt "disrespected" made minor scene pulling wife and son out thier classes and stupidy stormed out. Without support of wife and son not sure how much longer I can keep it together.

trying to get in to see my Doctor later this week need answers, to the pain.

Hello, Kathysmike;

Wow, I am really concerned for you. Please get help....Maybe see about getting a social worker to help you find resources for further help. Especially with your health problems and such...

My sister has an autistic son as well as being on disability for various health problems. I know she can get aids to come into her home to help her with her son. I'm wondering if the same can be available to you. There has got to be resources that you can turn to. This seems to be too much for you to handle alone.

Thanks much for coming to this forum to reach out...Please keep us posted as to what's happening.

Dove

[kathysmike]

I was able to see my Doctor this week, I was finaly able to get him to understand the level of pain and the location and accept my description of the pain. I took a red marker and outlined the area that the pain is concentrated in, he took one look and said thats the same place you hurt last year. Trying to obtain the tools I need so we can proceed with further diagnosis. As it is now he belivies it could be a reoccurance of the empynima I had the surgery to remove last year.

Thanks for the words of encouragment, they are appreciated. While my siblings live close we are not very close not alot of sharing happens.

[kathysmike]

I was also able to increase the mood stablelizer med, It has helped clear the thinking. My Son was able to stat seeing a councilsellor who was my assit. High school princp. he has reached out and is pushing me along to get the medical help I need. I just needed to be Kick started and then pushed along the path.