Backroads Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 21 Reasons to Get Married Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMGuy Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 During our first year of marriage I could have given anyone 22 reasons not to...lol! One of the benefits of thinking eternally is that it held us together until things got better. Then they got awesome, then not so good, then better than ever :-) -RM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 I've heard alot of people say that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. Am I missing something? We are going on our 7th month and I'm not finding it to be that difficult. Of course, we've had moments, but I don't see those moments as anything other than the normal life situations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Year 4 was our hardest. It was also the year we became parents. I don't know how much that's related, but I'm sure it played a big part. We're in year 14 now and have a fantastic relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 I've heard alot of people say that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. Am I missing something? We are going on our 7th month and I'm not finding it to be that difficult. Of course, we've had moments, but I don't see those moments as anything other than the normal life situations.That is what is typically said and perhaps it's true for most. But my husband and I never had that experience. We get along great, of course, we have our moments and disagreements but nothing outrageous. Our hardest year was last year 2011 September when our first child was born - boy - rude awakening. Mostly for me, I had a really hard time with PPD and I put a lot of stress onto my husband, and he was still an angel :] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 I think it is probably very typical for most marriages to have a rocky start with the first year being at least somewhat difficult, but this will depend on a variety of factors including (but not limited to)-How you and your spouse were raisedThe rockiness/calmness of your own parents' relationshipsYour age/maturity going into the marraigeYour personal level of introspectiveness and perceptive skillsYour communication skills and stylesAnd of course the level of similarities and differences in all of these factors between you and your spouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 First year is the hardest (at least in my experience) due to the following factors: * Period of adjustment between 2 very diverse habits/peeves/way of doing things/how they were raised... this is the same type of struggle that you will find between 2 missionary partners, or college dorm room-mates. Some missionary partners or roommates just click, some don't... in a marriage, if it doesn't click automatically, you can't just wait for a transfer or the end of the semester... * Finances. 2 different people with 2 different methods of handling finances can be a huge challenge especially if the financial outlook is dire. * Man versus woman - 2 different ways of communication, 2 different ways of handling problems, 2 different ways of looking at life's priorities. * Sex. Sometimes you fit like peas in a pod, sometimes, you don't. But, for some reason, everybody expects to fit like peas in a pod on day 1 and if they don't, they don't know how to talk about it to figure it out. Now, this doesn't even count getting a third individual thrown in the mix in the form of a screaming baby. Now, if your first year is great then CELEBRATE. At least you got that hump conquered. Now, your next hump is to keep the fire going for another 70 years or so... not counting the rest of eternity. And stop bragging about it - it makes us dumb ones who took several years to get a smooth sail feel more dumb. Okay, I was just kidding but kinda not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted February 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 We're just about to complete Year 1 and I think we've had a good first year. We're still kind of in the honeymoon phase, yet there are things we're finding to work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted March 2, 2012 Report Share Posted March 2, 2012 * Sex. Sometimes you fit like peas in a pod, sometimes, you don't. But, for some reason, everybody expects to fit like peas in a pod on day 1 and if they don't, they don't know how to talk about it to figure it out.On a Dr. Phil show, he interviewed couples about their sex life or lack of sex life. One couple had saved themselves for their wedding night, never having been with anyone else. Well, as the discussion got going, the woman said that she enjoyed sex with her husband but had never had an orgasm for the first five years of their marriage. She also never brought it up with her husband because for one thing, she didn't really know what she was missing out on. It wasn't until 5 years later when her husband introduced the idea of using toys, that she was able to enjoy an orgasm. Anyway, this got me thinking about all the couples out there (mostly women) that go through the motions (even enjoying it) but not ever really having an orgasm. I wonder how many bring it up with their spouse and how many don't.. Possibly the big "O" is not as important to some as it is to others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 2, 2012 Report Share Posted March 2, 2012 On a Dr. Phil show, he interviewed couples about their sex life or lack of sex life. One couple had saved themselves for their wedding night, never having been with anyone else. Well, as the discussion got going, the woman said that she enjoyed sex with her husband but had never had an orgasm for the first five years of their marriage. She also never brought it up with her husband because for one thing, she didn't really know what she was missing out on. It wasn't until 5 years later when her husband introduced the idea of using toys, that she was able to enjoy an orgasm. Anyway, this got me thinking about all the couples out there (mostly women) that go through the motions (even enjoying it) but not ever really having an orgasm. I wonder how many bring it up with their spouse and how many don't.. Possibly the big "O" is not as important to some as it is to others.Well... if you don't know that you're missing something...But, it's kinda instinctive though, isn't it? I mean - I don't know about anybody else but I thought if women don't get there, they instinctively know there's more out there... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted March 3, 2012 Report Share Posted March 3, 2012 Well... if you don't know that you're missing something...But, it's kinda instinctive though, isn't it? I mean - I don't know about anybody else but I thought if women don't get there, they instinctively know there's more out there...You would think so but "going through the motions" is apparently more common than not for women, and probably more than not don't get the big O. You can have sex, think you're enjoying it with your partner without ever having an orgasm, or be left feeling like there was something else on the menu. That's what this lady was explaining to Dr. Phil. She DID enjoy intimacy with her husband but had never had an OHHH moment. It was always just that, enjoyable, not UNBELIEVABLE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 3, 2012 Report Share Posted March 3, 2012 21 Reasons to Get MarriedEver since this was posted, every time I see the thread title, I think, "21 Reasons to Eat at Least Twice a Week", "21 Reasons to Breathe", etc. That marriage is not the obvious, natural course of adults but instead is viewed by some as optional is itself a stunning indictment of our entire society. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted March 8, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2012 Ever since this was posted, every time I see the thread title, I think, "21 Reasons to Eat at Least Twice a Week", "21 Reasons to Breathe", etc. That marriage is not the obvious, natural course of adults but instead is viewed by some as optional is itself a stunning indictment of our entire society.I feel humbled.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I feel humbled.:)Not sure what you're saying in conjunction with the smiley, but let me clarify that I'm not pointing any fingers at any individuals. I am saying that when a society as a whole does not value the marriage commitment between a man and a woman, and as a result its members do not naturally and obviously think in terms of marrying, that society is destroying its own foundation and will inevitably fail unless that foundation is reestablished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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