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MilitaryMember12
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From the moment I was born I was raised in the church, but I never really had an opportunity to develop my own testimony. I just stayed quiet and did what my parents did to the point I became an elder. I was basically force fed everything LDS by my friends, family and leadership without much say.[br][br] Shortly after high school I joined the military, moved out, and was on my own to face life. Unfortunately, telling my family that I was not sure I believed the LDS teachings couldn't have gone worse. I simply was trying to tell them where I stood and that I wanted to develop my own testimony, but they disowned me at the first thought of me potentially not being LDS and things went way downhill from there. I started drinking, partying, and basically turned my back on any religion altogether. I found what I thought was an awesome woman to date and eventually got pretty serious with her. We started talking marriage, and with that, intimacy. I was not chaste by LDS standards, but I was 100% faithful to her. She moved away to further her career in the military, and with that, found someone else and wasn't so faithful.[br][br] I have never been more lost in my life, I quickly found another woman and continued the unchaste behavior. After about 2 weeks, it was as if something smacked me straight across the face. I felt extremely guilty, and it was because I felt I did something wrong, not because my parents or others told me so.[br][br] I started nightly Bible reading and stopped all drinking and partying, and stopped the unchaste behavior completely to include talking about it and thinking about it. Eventually the nightly Bible study transitioned to Book of Mormon study, something I had never truly done before.[br][br] Fast forward a year later, I have never been happier in my life, and finally don't feel lost. I have a confident and strong testimony in the church to the point I have lost many "friends" because I don't drink anymore and don't participate in unchaste behavior. I have been attending church weekly and I am so much happier than I have ever been. I am about to PCS (move) to another duty station, but still have a few months.[br][br][br] Basically the whole reason I am writing is I am curious what is the next step I need to take? After nearly a year of living by the law of chastity (haven't started seriously dating again yet, but I haven't so much as kissed a girl since last summer), and following the word of wisdom to include stopping alcohol consumption, is there anything else I need to do to be forgiven by Christ? I have prayed and as I said before have never been happier or stronger in the church and my parents are finally talking to me again, even though its 4 years after I initially told them I was unsure about the church.[br][br] I know I was supposed to talk to the bishop, but with all the moves I haven't found one I feel confident to confide all this in because of some past nightmares (also part of the reason I fell away from the church in the past). At this point, I know without a doubt this is the true church and want to do everything to be 100% in good standing so I can live the rest of my life righteously and live with our Lord again. I feel at peace and forgiven, but I just want to make sure.[br][br] Thank you for all of your help, and please only serious LDS responses :biggrin: .

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From the moment I was born I was raised in the church, but I never really had an opportunity to develop my own testimony. I just stayed quiet and did what my parents did to the point I became an elder. I was basically force fed everything LDS by my friends, family and leadership without much say.[br][br] Shortly after high school I joined the military, moved out, and was on my own to face life. Unfortunately, telling my family that I was not sure I believed the LDS teachings couldn't have gone worse. I simply was trying to tell them where I stood and that I wanted to develop my own testimony, but they disowned me at the first thought of me potentially not being LDS and things went way downhill from there. I started drinking, partying, and basically turned my back on any religion altogether. I found what I thought was an awesome woman to date and eventually got pretty serious with her. We started talking marriage, and with that, intimacy. I was not chaste by LDS standards, but I was 100% faithful to her. She moved away to further her career in the military, and with that, found someone else and wasn't so faithful.[br][br] I have never been more lost in my life, I quickly found another woman and continued the unchaste behavior. After about 2 weeks, it was as if something smacked me straight across the face. I felt extremely guilty, and it was because I felt I did something wrong, not because my parents or others told me so.[br][br] I started nightly Bible reading and stopped all drinking and partying, and stopped the unchaste behavior completely to include talking about it and thinking about it. Eventually the nightly Bible study transitioned to Book of Mormon study, something I had never truly done before.[br][br] Fast forward a year later, I have never been happier in my life, and finally don't feel lost. I have a confident and strong testimony in the church to the point I have lost many "friends" because I don't drink anymore and don't participate in unchaste behavior. I have been attending church weekly and I am so much happier than I have ever been. I am about to PCS (move) to another duty station, but still have a few months.[br][br][br] Basically the whole reason I am writing is I am curious what is the next step I need to take? After nearly a year of living by the law of chastity (haven't started seriously dating again yet, but I haven't so much as kissed a girl since last summer), and following the word of wisdom to include stopping alcohol consumption, is there anything else I need to do to be forgiven by Christ? I have prayed and as I said before have never been happier or stronger in the church and my parents are finally talking to me again, even though its 4 years after I initially told them I was unsure about the church.[br][br] I know I was supposed to talk to the bishop, but with all the moves I haven't found one I feel confident to confide all this in because of some past nightmares (also part of the reason I fell away from the church in the past). At this point, I know without a doubt this is the true church and want to do everything to be 100% in good standing so I can live the rest of my life righteously and live with our Lord again. I feel at peace and forgiven, but I just want to make sure.[br][br] Thank you for all of your help, and please only serious LDS responses :biggrin: .

I would probably just double check with the bishop to make sure i was doing what was necessary to repent or to know what i need to do to repent of various things, but from what i'm reading here a person couldn't ask for a person to do more. It sounds like your heart is in the right place which is probably the bigger hurdles to clear, the next one is probably just humbling yourself enough that you can take it to a bishop. Once you do that you will probably have a huge load taken off your back.
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If you have not yet, speak with your bishop/branch president. He is the judge in Israel for issues of worthiness. That you have been chaste for over a year, after being very inactive means that at most you will probably only some probation (if even that).

The scriptures tell us that when we are forgiven, we find the fruits to be that we are filled with the Spirit, we feel joy, and we "no longer have a desire to do evil, but good continually" (Mosiah 4:1-4, 5:1-4). The bishop cannot forgive our sins, only the Lord. The bishop can guide us in our repentance, and determine our worthiness to receive ordinances, such as the sacrament and temple.

Congratulations on finding your testimony. Many people have to go through the depths before they wake up and realize just how wonderful the gospel really is.

BTW, which service are you in? I am USAF retired.

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I hope you can talk to your bishop or branch president soon. As hard as it seems now when you get that step over with you'll feel relieved. Sometimes the hardest part is forgiving ourselves. I hope that isn't a stumbling block for you. I wish you all the best.

Congratulations on finding your testimony again.

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From the moment I was born I was raised in the church, but I never really had an opportunity to develop my own testimony. I just stayed quiet and did what my parents did to the point I became an elder.

Heh - are you sure you're not me? I had a similar upbringing, even though I only had one half-active parent.

As someone who grew up in the church, left when it became apparent that I didn't believe, and then found reason to come back, welcome to the forum.

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You will have to actually finish the repentance process, so the next step is to confess to your church leader. Remember, repentance goes like this:

1. Recognize that you sinned (admit to yourself)

2. Feel godly sorrow for sin (not just feel bad about consequences, but actually feel bad in your soul)

3. Apologize to people you hurt (if that applies)

4. Confess to God that you sinned and promise to never do it again

5. Confess to your bishop that you sinned

Repentance is only complete when you feel that God has forgiven you (usually shown by having the Spirit back in your life again and a peaceful feeling)

The bishop will look to you to tell him how you have been doing and if you're at the right place for full fellowship and being worthy for the temple after your fornication.

Good luck, man! Glad to see you have made your own choices for your life. It's a shame your family disowned you after you didn't show interest in the church. That's pretty low on their part. They are family. They should love you no matter what.

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  • 1 month later...

Steps to Repentance:

Acknowledgement

Godly Sorrow

Confession

Forsaking

Restitution

I'm glad that you've confessed both before God as well as a Judge in Israel =). Yet I hope you have not forgotten the step of restitution.

Our best is good enough for the Lord. Have you done your best to repair all the injuries your actions have caused in the lives of others (Mosiah 27:35)?

Also, some food for thought -

D&C 64:10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

2 Nephi 25:29 And now behold, I say unto you that the right way is to believe in Christ, and deny him not; and Christ is the Holy One of Israel; wherefore ye must bow down before him, and worship him with all your might, mind, and strength, and your whole soul; and if ye do this ye shall in nowise be cast out.

D&C 64:22 And after that day, I, the Lord, will not hold any guilty that shall go with an open heart up to the land of Zion; for I, the Lord, require the hearts of the children of men.

The Lord requires our whole soul as an offering and all of our heart. He also requires that we forgive all. Can the atonement function completely within a repentant sinner's soul if they refuse to forgive someone or only offer a portion of their heart and soul?

Considering the severity of your past sins (Alma 39:5), is that something you want to chance?

Also,

Luke 15:7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

Welcome back brother!

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Yeah, my husband went through this too! He was inactive when we met.

But now, 14 years of marriage later, he is one of the strongest LDS I know. I mean, I was Catholic when we got married. I was certain he's going to become Catholic (he was even attending Catholic church with me). But no, he ended up going through the repentance process... I saw the gospel through his eyes and I'm LDS now too - for 10 years now.

So yes, this phase in your life is a great one. I'm happy you're getting the blessings of happiness and peace in your life.

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  • 3 months later...

just want to say thanks again to everyone...

after a tough road of repentance thanks to my great bishop i am temple worthy, have my priesthood back and have even had the honor of serving as a ward missionary for a short time and taught the gospel principles class.

i have just moved again due to my job in the air force so i am awaiting a new calling and will hopefully meet my eternal companion sometime in the near future. until then, i will make sure i am everything she deserves and continue living righteously!

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I understand past issues with brethren in high callings, with quite a bit to back it up, actually. I wonder how you'd feel about meeting with one who isn't necessarily your bishop.. just any bishop. Or if you even want to go higher up.. just to know that your confidence is kept. There is a wisdom and power in confessing it.. It's truly amazing.. a literal weight being lifted from you. I'm about as private as people come. I DON'T like opening up to people that I don't know. But when I've confessed before, it's been a positively overwhelming experience and the atonement becomes so tangible.

I admire your story. I love that you did all those things because YOU got to experience and gain a testimony of some of these principles and of God.. and you didn't have to rely on anyone else for that. That's why we're here; that's why the atonement was performed! That we might learn truth from evil. What I loved most was how you said you are happy. That's what it's ALL about! Happiness and freedom. That's it. :) Thank you for sharing.

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Congrats MilitaryMember,

You have no idea How happy the heavens are that you've made your turn around. I tell this to every "seeking help" thread that pops up because its living truth, but God would do anything for that "one" sheep that lost its path.

Ive seen a lot of friends go down wrong paths, make bad mistakes and Ive mad some myself. There is nothing so exquisite as the peace that comes from repentence.

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