Sign in to follow this  
lizzy16

Married people: How do you handle your finances with your spouse?

Recommended Posts

So, I know my parents share everything. Whats my moms is my dads. What my dad earns, my mom is welcome to. What my mom earns, my dad is welcome to. Everything goes into one account. My mom and dad will switch off who sends the check to the electric company ect. Often times i hear a "David go pay the electric bill" or "Rebecca, this bill needs paid. Can you do that today?'

Everything's shared. I always thought this was odd when they bought presents for each other, since technically they were spending each others money to buy each other gifts haha.

My friends parents do things a bit different. They keep the money seperate. And, the dad covers housing expenses, the mom covers groceries and they each have there own car payments ect.

So, if its not too personal, What do you and your spouse do? Did you try different things? What works best? What would you wish you could do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We share.

We have a rule that if one of us is spending <$20 there's no need to discuss it. He's free to grab lunch, or a coffee (non member) anything of that kind while at work and not feel guilty or like he has to ask permission.

>$20 purchases need to be run by the other person.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

We're pretty much the same as IAmMe. DH has taken over paying bills and monitoring our progress. I did it for a long time, but he's just better at it. If things start getting low he lets me know, and neither of us spends extra money. We do not use credit cards. Learned that one early on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband and I share an account. We each get spending money each week to spend as we want without consulting the other (we each get the same amount).

I pay all the bills as everything is pretty much in my name. Since I pay the bills, I'm the one who balances the account.

We discuss any purchases we make. We decide on how much to spend on groceries (we are building our food storage), how to spend on clothes, anything else. For any purchases we haven't discussed, perhaps something on sale or something, we usually make sure it's in the budget before getting it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We share.

We have a rule that if one of us is spending <$20 there's no need to discuss it. He's free to grab lunch, or a coffee (non member) anything of that kind while at work and not feel guilty or like he has to ask permission.

>$20 purchases need to be run by the other person.

We don't have a hard and fast rule but that's the general concept behind how we operate. Though I kinda make an exception for my computer game purchases, applying the make sure and bring it up limit a lot sooner than I would if I needed to buy some notebooks or what have you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not married here, but this is how my parents do it:

My mother is the budgeter/accountant of the family. She keeps track of everything. She makes sure all the bills get paid, food gets bought, extra-stuff gets paid for, etc. She lets my dad know when the budget is tight and when they can afford to do something extra. She consults with him and they decide together what to do with said extra. Any time my dad does something with the money, he lets mom know so she can account for it in her budget records. There's not really a need for him to ask for permission, because all the stuff he does is either out of necessity (like buying gas) or something small.

The only thing kept separate is my dad's paypal account for stuff he does online. My mom doesn't keep track of that and leaves it to dad to deal with however he sees fit. Whenever either of my parents want to make a large purchase (something outside their norm) they talk with each other about it and come to an agreement together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The fact that I can never remember your password for the bank website kinda reinforces that. :)

Haha! Simply solved. The password is "ithinkmywifeshouldgetthesportscarshewants"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha! Simply solved. The password is "ithinkmywifeshouldgetthesportscarshewants"

Oh, my. This suddenly reminded me of a short video clip called "The Touchtone Genius"... Not sure if I can find it again, and don't remember it well enough to know if there's any profanity in it so I won't post it until I find it and check, but have you seen it?

This guy starts singing to himself on the phone, and it's like a discussion between a husband and wife. The wife wants a ring, and the guy wants a sports car. :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Money is shared in one account. We budget together, she pays most of the bills with me balancing the checkbook.

The budget is the key part of it all. We do not sway from the budget, unless we are both in agreement. I don't know how a couple can save money for the long term, do food storage, etc., when they don't combine funds. I suppose it could be done, but there would be great inefficiencies in doubling the work for two accounts. Also, to join the accounts requires mutual trust and respect.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Finances is something where you have to work together and figure out what works best for both of you. With my wife and I, we share one bank account. She keeps a very detailed expense report/budget on a spreadsheet, but I pay all the bills at the end of the month. We talk about our finances regularly. Before buying gifts for Christmas/birthdays/etc. we talk about how much we are going to spend on each other this year. What it comes down to is communicating, and not being secretive about the money in any way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sister Vort made the mistake of marrying someone who does not and will never make a lot of money. So our income goes toward paying the mortgage and other expenses. Any discretionary incomeBWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. Let me try that again. Any discretionary incomeBWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me.

Okay, that's better. As I was trying to say, any discretionary incomeBWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know, Dravin and I are both pretty cheap (some people say frugal, but let's face it, we are both cheapskates). I honestly don't think I could be happy with someone who didn't view finances in a similar vein as I. I have a friend who is frugal, but her husband cannot hold a nickel in his palm for longer than a minute. As a result, they have a huge debt and are always struggling. I absolutely could not deal with a spouse like that.

Just another thing to make sure is discussed well before marriage....finances, philosophy as well as details.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know, Dravin and I are both pretty cheap (some people say frugal, but let's face it, we are both cheapskates).

Hey, buying bread when it goes on sale because it's nearing it's expiration date and freezing it isn't cheap. It's just good common sense.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sister Vort made the mistake of marrying someone who does not and will never make a lot of money. So our income goes toward paying the mortgage and other expenses. Any discretionary incomeBWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. Let me try that again. Any discretionary incomeBWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me.

Okay, that's better. As I was trying to say, any discretionary incomeBWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never mind.

hmm sounds familiar! at least we know that we dont have to buy our way into heaven!!! whew! What we do is pay the bills and buy groceries. If there is something we have to buy we eat less. Sound familiar, Vort?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sister Vort made the mistake of marrying someone who does not and will never make a lot of money. So our income goes toward paying the mortgage and other expenses. Any discretionary incomeBWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. Let me try that again. Any discretionary incomeBWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me.

Okay, that's better. As I was trying to say, any discretionary incomeBWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never mind.

Well no wonder you don't have any discretionary income, if you can't even get your thoughts out nobody can give you a penny for them. :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My hubby and I share. We only have one account and that's where all the money goes into. I guess I should point out that he is the only one with a job as I'm a full time student.. BUT when I get out of school and start working, we will still be using just the one account.

However, I'm basically the one who spends the money. All of the grocery shopping is done by me (he isn't allowed to go with me anymore as we end up spending way too much when he does) and I'm the one who sends out the checks to pay the bills. Come to think of it, I don't think he even knows how to write a check.

Buying gifts for Christmas is especially weird because I am literally spending "his" money on his own presents haha

It works for us, I'm just looking forward to having a job and being able to contribute financially.. he works too hard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All the money goes into the main account and we get a personal budget of $100 a month. We just married and there was some arguing on my part being that she wanted a budget and I didn't have one before. I humbly admit that a budget is best.

In fact true millionaires only 1 out of 300 doesn't have a budget and that 1 inherited the money.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After the first three marriages, Hubby #2 was a bit hesitant in giving me full reign over the joint money.

The first 6 months he went with me when I grocery shopped, and when I went shopping at the mall- he tracked me by my debit card purchases. I was glad when he stayed home from the grocery shopping. He tossed more useless junk food into the cart than I ever dreamed of eating. Goodness, I never knew senior age people still ate canned cheese! Yuck!

I would have liked to have him accompany me when I bought clothes- he is so honest. If the color is wrong or the cut of the garment makes me look huge- he doesn't hesitate to tell me.

I had to get used to not having to report how I spent every cent. The only extra food he had was the freezer in the refrigerator was packed with Taquito's! Double Yuck!

I was a write the check, deliver it in person type of bill payer. He had everything set up for paying online where possible. Also, I paid as close to the date you would get charged a late payment. He paid within 2 business days before the due date.

The way I paid bills is how an adrenalin junkie pays bills. Yep, adrenalin rushes were my drug of choice. It took a year for me to totally come on board with his way of paying bills.

I now pay all the bills, via online as either Auto pay (Car payment, car insurance, land rental payment- if it is the same every month, then it is AutoPay) The change every month bills are paid by E-Pay. I have an alert set up through my electronic banking to notify me when the bill is due (that never changes :) then I go online and put in the dollar amount.

The only money that I do not consider is half mine is the money Husband receives from his first retirement. He worked for Kaiser-Permenente and retired from there a decade before we even met. That is HIS and his alone. Though I am prospering from the interest it is earning.

After 7 years of marriage- the only time one of us spent money and the other got upset was when He spent $5,000 over several months time purchasing Nutri System foods. There was no communication over that- and when I found out how much was spent I was really upset. Nutri System is a scam- You have to purchase more food to add to the food you purchase from them, and their food is NASTY. We threw away 80% of it because there was no way I could make it palatable. That year our food budget was 5X what it should have been, and neither of us enjoyed it. Their food has a shelf life of 3 months- if it isn't consumed by then toss it. The stuff you add water too- won't reconstitute. NO matter how long you wait, just ain't happening. Yes, I did send it back- never got reimbursed. That company is EVIL as far as I am concerned.

Husband just finished doing the taxes. We are getting a wonderfully large amount from Feds and have to pay a good size chunk to State. He also did great on the market (Day Trading is his hobby), so he told me that along with new tires for the car, there is $1,000 for food storage. First thing I ordered was the Wonder Mill grain grinder. I will take my time purchasing the rest of the long term food storage. :D He told me that there is also another $1,000 for me to buy clothes, or house hold items if I wanted/needed it.

Okay, now I can measure the walls in the kitchen and get the peg board to hang my most used pots and utensils on, go looking for fabric to do window treatments in the bedroom. AND I can get a new, all stainless 12" skillet. I really hate the non-stick pans & pots. My 12" skillet is a chicken fryer type- high sides, heavy in weight, love the rest of the set. BUT it has that non-stick surface. It is peeling and flaking. Thus I tossed it when we moved. Hadn't used it in years, so why pack & move it. The one I want costs $60.00. Hubby wouldn't object to me purchasing it as long as I didn't overdraw the account doing it.

Oh, I can also get the slide out shelf inserts I have coveted for a year now. :D Yeah.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Like most things about my husband and I, we are very OPPOSITE when it comes to money.

For example: When we got married, I had $45,000 worth of mall cards. That's right FORTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. Spread out onto 9 mall cards. When I go to the store, I look at a TV and see it as "$12 a month" instead of $1,000.

My husband, on the other hand, did not own a single credit card. He's a cash-only guy... and that included his car.

So, we had to sit down and talk about finances before we got married. And so, I agreed, I will not use my mall cards anymore and I will take care of the finances. The day after we got married, my husband took scissors and cut up all my mall cards. Ugh. Do you know how hard that is? To walk the mall and know you can't buy a single thing you want because you don't have cash?

Anyway, after a year, the mall cards were still virtually untouched because I was only paying minimum payments because... I can't stop buying stuff - with cash this time... I was starting to dread doing the bills because... uhm... I spent the money... My husband got tired of it and we started to fight about it until finally I snapped and told him to take over the money. I told him, give me money I can spend and you figure out the rest.

So, he took over the bills, put us on a super tight budget that I was going nuts - $25/week allowance... One trip to the movies is already $25! And I'm used to watching one movie a week! He paid off all the credit cards within 1 year.

So, this is how he did it - there are 3 physical checking accounts. His bank, my bank, and our bank. Our bank is everything for food, the house, the kids, the cars, medical, clothing, vacations, etc. His bank is whatever he wants to buy - usually he buys things like NFL tickets, lunches with his workmates, and bday/anniversary/Christmas presents (yes, a lot of his purchases are for me!). My bank is whatever I want to buy - well, I always run out of money because I spend my allowance on stupid stuff like renting a bouncy house for the Ward Easter Party. I got a debit card for my account. I know that I can't spend anymore because the card would say, "Declined". My goal is to not get a Declined before the 15th of the month.

So, each of our paychecks go to a Money Market account on an automatic deposit. Then money gets automatically transferred out of that account to each of the 3 checking accounts according to the budget. BUT, tithing is paid off of the Money-Market account. So, my husband manually takes the money for tithing every week by going to the ATM. He doesn't want to do the automatic transfer for tithing because he wants to "feel" tithing... yeah, I don't get it.

So, we don't really "see" our entire paycheck. We only get to "see" our budgeted money. Okay, so when I don't work, I don't get paid (contractor). It doesn't matter. The automatic transfers for the budget still happens. If one of us works overtime, same thing. It stays in the Money Market account. BUT, there are times when I run out of my own personal money and I would work overtime so I can spend money for the rest of the month. I just tell my husband I'm working overtime because I need money and he transfers the overtime money to my personal account. My husband gets bonuses every year. Money in the thousands sometimes. I think it should be his money to spend whatever he wants because he's the one that worked hard for that bonus. But, he usually just leaves it in the bank as part of our savings (yes, he's a cheapskate).

Okay, there are a lot more than those in our house... we have the IRA account, the Health Savings Account, and the Educational Savings Account. My husband has some more investments but I don't know what those are.

Now, it sounds like we make a lot of money. We really don't. We make a comfortable living but it becomes easier to stay on top of the finances when you know where the money is going and you know what you can buy and what you can't.

We have 2 cars. Both of them are 8 years old that have been paid off 3 years ago. So, we haven't had a car payment in 3 years. My husband wants to wait until we get enough savings in the Money Market to buy our next car because he doesn't want to change the budget for that. My dad got sick with cancer. So, I asked my husband if I can give my parents allowance money to help with the medical payments. He adjusted the family budget for that which was super cool. If we decide to do major projects like redo the kitchen, we have to wait until we got enough Money Market savings for that. We have one credit card... because it's hard to do things like rent a video on Redbox without one. Until today (14 years married), I still itch to use that credit card. My husband would go ballistic if I do that!

Okay, I guess that's it...

Edited by anatess

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this