Why Women Don't Marry

[JudoMinja]

If a man is not seen as the leader of the family, what is left for him to do? .... to act like a follower, an overgrown child. There are many women who, in essence, say that that is what they want by exerting a desire to be in charge. Can't have it both ways, either the woman is in charge and the man is left with little responsibility and accountability or the man is given responsibility and hopefully through righteous Priesthood action, is in charge without being oppressive.

Men need to know that we need them to

. And women need to allow them the opportunity to lead.

Marriage requires such an enormous amount of trust that just isn't there in the world for so many. Everyone is trying to do everything on their own- trusting in the arm of flesh instead of trusting in God. Women, in general, no longer trust men, and as such also show a lack of faith in our Father. Marriage requires a sacrifice, on both sides, in that both men and women need to let go of their selfish desires in order to trust one another and work together in the rearing of a family.

I know, due to my own past experience, that it is going to be difficult for me to place enough trust in another man to allow him the opportunity to lead me and be the presiding Priesthood authority in my home, but that is exactly what I want and am looking for- someone strong enough, capable enough, faithful enough, and responsible enough to lead. I don't want to be married to a "child", but that is exactly what our men will continue to be and act like if we do not trust them with the responsibility of leadership and give them the opportunity to prove their worth and value.

[FunkyTown]

Kayne? Just as an aside, can you use proper punctuation and capitalization in your posts?

I want to read them, but I find it just becomes a wall of text. I barely get through the first sentence. This isn't a slam, I honestly can't read your posts when they get beyond a sentence or two.

I also can't read e e cummings, so make of that what you will.

[Vort]

I also can't read e e cummings, so make of that what you will.

FYI, and apropos of very little, E. E. Cummings usually spelled his name with capitals.

[Seminarysnoozer]

This is a bit of a false dichotomy.

There was a woman in our ward who (mostly for entertainment) asked several of the sisters the question "Who wears the pants in your family?" When she asked my wife, the response was "uuuhhh...I'm not really sure." My wife came home and asked me the question, to which I shrugged and said, "I'm pretty sure we share the pants."

I've never felt like I needed to put up the appearance that I'm in control, or that I'm the presiding figure. In fact, I take great pride in the fact that every decision in our family is reached in cooperation and agreement. I hope my daughters will learn the same and expect that from their husbands when they marry.

Yes, that is why I put "with righteous Priesthood action". I think you summarized that. Righteous priesthood holders see their partner as a help meet. There is a lot more that goes into that but when we all answer to our maker about our little stewardship we have over the family, I know that my husband will be doing most of the talking. And, I will be held accountable for my responsibilities as well.

The point is that accountability cannot be given without responsibility and responsibility has to be taken with authority. If the family does not respect the authority of the man of the house (priesthood holder) then there is no possibility for responsibility and accountability to take place. Respecting the power of the priesthood, for me, also requires acknowledging the keys that go along with that priesthood and teaching my children about the importance of them. I would not want to minimize the power of the priesthood and the keys held by the priesthood holder in front of my family, the relief society or my God.

[FunkyTown]

FYI, and apropos of very little, E. E. Cummings usually spelled his name with capitals.

Interesting! That wasn't something I was aware of.

I just thought he was lazy.

[kayne]

Kayne? Just as an aside, can you use proper punctuation and capitalization in your posts?

I want to read them, but I find it just becomes a wall of text. I barely get through the first sentence. This isn't a slam, I honestly can't read your posts when they get beyond a sentence or two.

I also can't read e e cummings, so make of that what you will.

no idea who e e cummings is guess ill check the link.

and ill try but I dont know why when i start typing on forums all grammar skills die a horrible death for me.

maybe if i type in microsoft word first....

[Guest DeborahC]

some of that is also welfare abuse. a child out of wedlock to a minority group especially means more welfare. considering in many cases mommy did this same abuse the child is really just doing what she knows. basically getting preganant = government money.

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I would argue that the MAJORITY of welfare abusers are not from any minority group. Ever been to Oildale?

Government figures show that Whites not Blacks make up the bulk of clients on these public aid programs; a fact that dispels the notion that Blacks are scheming for a free lunch courtesy of the American taxpayer.

With regard to AFDC the figures are:

White 38.8%

Black 39.8

Hispanic 15.7

Asian 2.4

other 3.3

Food stamp recipients are 37.2 percent Black and 46.2 percent White. Medicaid benefits are paid to 27.5 percent Black recipients compared to 48.5 percent White clients.

Just sayin... I know a LOT of lazy white people laying up and collecting welfare, including several of my own cousins, sorry to say, who are 2nd and 3d generation welfare abusers.

[MarginOfError]

I would argue that the MAJORITY of welfare abusers are not from any minority group. Ever been to Oildale?

Government figures show that Whites not Blacks make up the bulk of clients on these public aid programs; a fact that dispels the notion that Blacks are scheming for a free lunch courtesy of the American taxpayer.

With regard to AFDC the figures are:

White 38.8%

Black 39.8

Hispanic 15.7

Asian 2.4

other 3.3

Food stamp recipients are 37.2 percent Black and 46.2 percent White. Medicaid benefits are paid to 27.5 percent Black recipients compared to 48.5 percent White clients.

Just sayin... I know a LOT of lazy white people laying up and collecting welfare, including several of my own cousins, sorry to say, who are 2nd and 3d generation welfare abusers.

To be fair, you'd need to show those percentages with respect to the associated populations. For instance, it may be true that the gross number of whites on welfare is greater than the gross number of blacks on welfare, but the percentage of blacks on welfare could be higher than the percentage of whites on welfare once the denominators are considered.

I'm not saying if it is or isn't true, but before we can claim one group is or isn't a greater consumer of welfare, we need to know the welfare consumption behaviors within each population.

[Guest DeborahC]

You are right about that part. I haven't been able to find that information. Maybe if someone finds an actual study they'll post the results.

I am a believer that Welfare creates poverty. Having received welfare for 8 months when I was 20 years younger, during a time when surgery and illness kept me from supporting my 3 children, I know that the amount of welfare I received in California was outrageously HIGH! There was no way I could get a minimum wage job and make that kind of money. It was only because I was brought up not to take advantage of this type of program that I was determined to get off as soon as possible and did so. I also was distressed that people who were not citizens had less problems and red tape GETTING their benefits than I, a citizen who had paid into the system for many years, had.

That said, I still would like to see the numbers, as I am not convinced it's just a minority problem.

[Dravin]

no idea who e e cummings is guess ill check the link.

and ill try but I dont know why when i start typing on forums all grammar skills die a horrible death for me.

maybe if i type in microsoft word first....

That is what I did until browsers started incorporating spell check. Of course that was to keep my spelling up to par, not so much my grammar.

[FunkyTown]

To be fair, you'd need to show those percentages with respect to the associated populations. For instance, it may be true that the gross number of whites on welfare is greater than the gross number of blacks on welfare, but the percentage of blacks on welfare could be higher than the percentage of whites on welfare once the denominators are considered.

I'm not saying if it is or isn't true, but before we can claim one group is or isn't a greater consumer of welfare, we need to know the welfare consumption behaviors within each population.

How about a website that shows what percentage of the population each makes up in the US?

USA QuickFacts from the US Census Bureau

Straight from the census. Make of that what you will. Interesting stuff, actually.

[Sunday21]

I sometimes wish that the church would be supportive of single women adopting but I can understand why the church is not for this. I discussed this with my bishop once and the poor man almost had a heart attack - very funny he,he (sorry!). I can see that my poor ward would not be able to handle the number of single women who would like to adopt. Of course, it is best for children to have both parents.

Do any other single people long to adopt?

[beefche]

I have a friend, who is a single LDS female, who adopted a brother and sister. I know another single, LDS guy who adopted a couple of boys.

It isn't forbidden. The Proclamation on the family talks about children being raised by a mother and a father, and that would be the ideal situation. But, if a single member received guidance and revelation that for himself/herself that he/she should adopt, then they should follow that counsel.

[Guest kyolive]

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[Bensalem]

I sometimes wish that the church would be supportive of single women adopting but I can understand why the church is not for this. I discussed this with my bishop once and the poor man almost had a heart attack - very funny he,he (sorry!). I can see that my poor ward would not be able to handle the number of single women who would like to adopt. Of course, it is best for children to have both parents.

Do any other single people long to adopt?

Have you considered being a foster parent? In spite of it being more problematic, I'm told it can be very rewarding (and certainly beneficial for the child).