Eek! CPS Investigation?


JudoMinja
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Does everyone else freak out when they hear they might be getting investigated by CPS? Even if you feel certain you're not doing anything wrong? I think the fear comes from the fact that they hold this power to take my kid away and have been known to make mistakes with that power... I'm really nervous here. Anyone ever dealt with CPS before? Have any advice?

Here's the low down on the whole situation:

My brother is married to a woman who has two children from a previous relationship. She has illegally been denying their biological father his visitaton. She claims to have good reason for doing so- inappropriate sexual and abusive activity from the ex toward the children- but she never did anything about it legally and instead just stopped letting him have the kids, even going so far as to purposely pull them out of school early on days he was supposed to pick them up from school so he couldn't have them.

Well, he's taking her to court over it now, and CPS wants to do an investigation on everyone who babysits her kids. I've never watched them at my place, so I don't think they'll want to inspect my apartment... but I'm not 100% sure about that. They haven't contacted me yet. So I don't know the extent of this is going to be for me... They might just do a background check, might want to conduct some kind of interview... I don't know. But it just makes me really nervous.

I want those kids to get whatever is best for them. If the ex really is as bad as their mother claims, he shouldn't be around them at all, but she should have taken care of it legally in the first place. And from what I've seen, she isn't the greatest cookie either. My brother is a diagnosed narcissist and she seems to be a pea from the same pod. If CPS is thorough and uncovers everything that needs uncovering, I'm guessing neither of them will end up with custody. The kids will end up either with a grandparent or in foster care. If CPS just wants me to share whatever information I can to make sure those kids end up in the best situation possible, I have no problem helping. I'm just scared about what them "investigating" me might entail...

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I'm not familiar with how CPS works but aren't they looking for red flags? If you haven't done anything wrong and don't have anything to hide - try not to stress over this with worry.

Thanks. I think I'm just going through that reflex panic, like how many people will slow down and check how fast their going when they pass a cop on the road- wondering if he's going to turn on those lights even when they weren't speeding.

I'm just worried that maybe I am doing something CPS would consider wrong, and I just don't know it, because I don't know their regulations. Maybe I should look them up... I know I'm not doing anything majorly wrong- just the typical flaws and shortcomings of a single parent, but if there's something I'm missing that they call me on, what can I do about it?

I'm going to see if I can find where they list their regulations to hopefully ease my worries.

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Be very careful and dont let there be any red flags. It is something to take very seriously. What state do you live in? Some states give a lot more reason to worry than others.

Your sister in law did a big booboo and now the courts are not going to look favorably on her. She was defying the courts and they dont like that. Probably wont believe anything she says now.

One of my daughters in law does this just to be vindictive. It is just a very bad thing all around to do. The kids really do suffer.

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Dirty house. No food in the cupboards. Dirty clothes laying around on the floor and no clean clothes. Moldy dishes in the sink and cabinet top.

Unkempt looking kids.

I doubt that you have this but anything dirty and no food are big flags.

Thanks. I do get behind on my dishes and laundry, but never to the point that the dishes get moldy and all my dirty laundry is in a closet not the floor. I'll be making some extra effort to stay on top of both so I won't have to worry about that. I've already spent my day off yesterday getting everything basically spotless. From what I'm finding online though it's looking like I won't have to worry about them looking at my apartment at all. It looks like I might just get interviewed and may be asked to take part in some Family Planning Meetings.

My brother's place though is always a terrible mess. :( Whenever I go there to babysit on the weekend, it takes the whole day just to get it looking livable.

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CPS generally will stick within the scope of their investigation. If there is something totally out of wack, then they may start something. But I suspect that they will come over to interview you about whatever they are investigating and that's it. Don't stress too much over it.

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Perhaps you are unaware of how government agencies can sometimes work.

That's why I stated that I'm not familiar. :)

Judo, I hope "the visit" goes well. I'm still of the mindset that if I know I haven't done anything wrong (to the best of my knowledge) - I'm not going to fret over it. If I get called out, I get called out and I'll address that issue then.

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CPS generally will stick within the scope of their investigation. If there is something totally out of wack, then they may start something. But I suspect that they will come over to interview you about whatever they are investigating and that's it. Don't stress too much over it.

My experience in Utah is that if/when DCFS contacts people beyond the custodial parents, they're usually looking for additional witnesses to a specific event rather than asking about anyone's character or looking for dirt on third parties.

In a situation like the one you describe, where contact with the kids has been limited and I'm (hypothetically) a female, I doubt I'd be terribly worried. Still, CPS/DCFS practices, presumptions and procedures vary widely from state to state, and the safest thing to do would be to contact an experienced attorney in your jurisdiction.

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I'd say... they are not investigating you, so don't give them an opening to do so. If at all possible have the meeting/interview at a neutral or third party location... Anything other then your house. Have your son be with a sitter at the time. During the interview only offer inputs about the other kids and what you have seen of them. I know this is a very paranoid suggestion but sometime you need to listen to your fear, and in general CPS groups don't have the best track records.

Now you might not be able to avoid having them in your house or seeing your son but the idea of not giving them an opening to look into remains sound.

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With no disrespect to any other commentators, the OP should not rely on any "this is how things go down in my state" comments because every state's laws are so different and so varied and horrible things can happen if you expect that because something is handled legally in one state that it will invariably be handled the same or similarly in a different state.

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CPS can enter my house if they obtain a search warrant. Many of them are responsible and posess common sense. Some of them are totally clueless about the laws they are bound by, some of them are trained to bluff. A ton of them have become jaded about helping people any more, they're just doing a job that pays like crap, doesn't accomplish anything good, and everyone hates you.

Listen to the folks giving advice here - since when is a dirty house against the law or indicitive of a problem? Insane. Yeah, Judo has a big pile of dirty laundry in the living room - she must be the person abusing the kids. Who the crap cares if a government employee LIKES your house or not? How about they just do their dang job?

Yeah, my perspective is colored by being a homeschooling parent. Every decade that goes by, there are fewer horrible stories of working over parents who aren't doing anything wrong. Yeah, you'll probably be absolutely fine and won't have any problems whatsoever.

Just for the love of pete, know your rights, and have your lawyer's phone number handy. If you trust CPS to protect your rights, you could get burned.

Edited by Loudmouth_Mormon
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We did have a problem once. Sometimes when people hate you they know they can harass you with cps.

Anyway, we talked to our Bishop. He told us to take them VERY seriously. Innocent has nothing to do with it.

We were thinking of moving to Idaho and he said just go. He even helped with expenses. He is a teacher. If a Bishop/teacher tell me to worry then I am for sure going to listen.

(It all turned out very well. I think God had a plan for us to be in a place much better for us.)

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Well, right now I'm studying up on the TX CPS regulations and am doing everything I can to prepare myself for the worst while hoping it will be simple. Overall, the advice here has eased my worries, as I'm fairly certain I'm not going to have to worry about anything more than an interview about my interactions with the kids. I'm just crossing my fingers and waiting for them to contact me.

I talked with my mom after church today, and she is much more worried about this than I am. She is very afraid of the possibility of being falsely accused of something and said that she's going to be informing my brother that from now on she refuses to watch the daughter-in-law's kids. I'm really hoping things don't get ugly, but at the very least I know it isn't going to be pretty for my brother, his wife, or her ex.

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My sister-in-law had some vindictive neighbor call CPS on her in Utah. They showed up and said, "Looks like happy kids and a normal mess for having three of them." Then they left. They're probably just building a case against your brother's wife who should have gone through legal channels instead of denying her ex-husband visitation.

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Why even let them in? Why even talk to them?

My plan, when they contact me, is to not let them in my place unless they have a search warrant- and I highly doubt it will come to that, since there's absolutely no possible reason for them to search my place. Since I've babysat the kids, I imagine they will want to speak with me about my observations of the kids behavior/comments and know if I've done anything to aid in preventing the ex his visitation. So, talking to them can't really be avoided if they say they want an interview with me for those reasons. I will request it take place in a neutral location so that I don't have to let them in my place.

It is possible, however, that they will want/need to inspect my mother's place since she has had the kids in her place for babysitting. She has been much more involved than I have in helping care for the kids. She has helped drop them off and pick them up from school on some days, and she has had them in her home from the time she picked them up until their parents could come get them, usually not until bed-time. As such, she's going to have a harder time avoiding problems if things get ugly. I have relayed much of the advice I've received here to her, and she is doing everything she can to be careful and guard herself, but she is very worried about the possibility of anyone under her roof being accused of something they didn't do.

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Seems like your all a wee bit paranoid. I guess CPS must be horrible.

Paranoid, maybe. But I'd rather err on the side of caution. CPS certainly doesn't have a reputation for making the best judgement calls and I don't want to give them reason to make a "mistake" that would have such huge reprecussions on my son.

As for my mom- if they do inspect her house, I highly doubt they'll find anything to misconstrue. She's been a stay-at-home mom for all of us and still has two teenage boys at home- and she's an immaculate housekeeper. She told me, while talking with me yesterday, that she has caught the older of the two children in question playing with herself in the bathroom when she was supposed to be bathing on several occassions. So she knows there is something wrong and believes the daughter-in-law's story that it is the ex at fault. However, if the girl decides to lie to try and protect him... That could mean trouble for innocent people involved.

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She told me, while talking with me yesterday, that she has caught the older of the two children in question playing with herself in the bathroom when she was supposed to be bathing on several occassions. So she knows there is something wrong and believes the daughter-in-law's story that it is the ex at fault.

Children will play with themselves without being the victims of abuse. How she went about it may have raised red flags (say a toddler talking dirty to herself or something) but it's common enough behavior that in isolation it doesn't really prove anything. Note I'm not saying the ex isn't a scuzz-bucket, just that in isolation and as described if my own mother came to me with something like that as proof I'd have to fight back a, "Are you serious?" look.

Edited by Dravin
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