Eek! CPS Investigation?

[JudoMinja]

Children will play with themselves without being the victims of abuse.

Oh, I know. But not in the ways my mother described. I refrain from sharing details so this doesn't end up in adult discussion. Suffice it to say, my mother has sufficient information to believe that this girl was at the very least exposed to some very inappropriate materials. Since this is the mother's reasoning for not allowing the father his visitation, CPS will most certainly be uncovering the extent of the problem and whether or not the father is truly the one at fault or someone else. I'm hoping and praying that the truly guilty party is the one who gets pinned. I've never met the ex myself, and from what I know of my brother and his experience with women in the past, I haven't ruled out the possibility that the mother is guilty and blaming it on the ex so she has reason to keep the kids from him.

Edited April 9, 2012 by JudoMinja

[applepansy]

Judo,

I understand the stress and fear you are experiencing. I had DCFS case workers in my home a lot before and during the month of August 2009. It was a very stressful time. I also had to deal with them back in 1990-91. The two situations were different.

My experience with them im 2009 was pretty straight forward. Since we were going to have the children live with us we had to be fingerprinted and have extensive background checks done. The first home visit, the case worker just walked through my house. She only wanted to see where the children would be. I was worried because we were remodeling the living room and it had tools and such in it. We had the doors closed and I explained the children wouldn't have access there. I was so freaked out my sisters both came and helped deep clean the whole house.

During the month of August 2009 DCFS could drop in any time and without notice. I was surprised at how unconcerned about the condition of my house the case workers were. Not having the dishes done or having baskets of laundry on the table in the kitchen waiting to be folded didn't matter to them. They were more concerned with the condition and emotional state of the children.

But... I was on their side. We were all working together FINALLY to get the children out of a bad situation. DCFS saw us as an alternative that would work better than foster care.

I have had different experiences with DCFS that weren't as positive. It all depends on what their motives are.

Your situation is different. You stated you have tended the kids but not at your home. They aren't investigating you. They are looking for witnesses. While I agree you should meet with them somewhere other than your home, refusing to have them in your home could be a red flag. Therefore, don't be overly adamant about not having them in your home. Make it a convenience issues. Such as; "I'll be downtown at that time could we meet at a restaurant or park?" They won't be looking for a spotless-the-maid-cleans-everyday level of cleanliness.

Red flags for neglect are usually not enough food, not enough clothing, dirty clothing, dirty bedding, etc. Since they are interviewing you regarding children who aren't yours its unlikely they will even want to look at your son's room. But just in case... make sure the bed is made and the toys are picked up. Its important to appear unconcerned with nothing to hide.

If I understand correctly your mother has babysat the children at her home. Again, they aren't going to be looking for ultra clean. They are going to be looking for attitudes. Just be honest and cautiously open. Neither of you have done anything wrong and that needs to be your stance from the beginning. You were both trying your best to help these children.

Your mother needs to tell them about the bath time incident and her response to it.

I'm guessing but they have probably already interviewed the children and are looking for witnesses to back up the children's story. At least that should be their goal. Depending on what the children said will determine what they are going to ask and what they will expect.

One other thing that helped me get through my experiences with DCFS was having a priesthood blessings. I also put the names of the case workers, the judge, the guardian ad litem, myself, and everyone else I could think of on the temple prayer roll. After you place all this in the Lord's hands you'll feel calmer.

[applepansy]

Seems like your all a wee bit paranoid. I guess CPS must be horrible.

Paranoia is an unfounded or exaggerated distrust of others/someone.

JudoMinja is not paranoid. There are valid reasons for anyone to be concerned about contact with any Child Protective agency. Sometimes they do good work...but it takes a lot to get them to do it in a timely manner. Sometimes they break apart families and irreparably hurt children, and they are a lot quicker in that regard than they are in protecting children.