[Investigator Asks] My Lifehack Inappropriate for LDS

[JessiePadGirl]

Hi LDS.net members! I have kind of an odd question for you, but I am hoping for your advice to guide me as I venture forth...I'm an investigator, but I want to be baptized as soon as possible. I am trying to purge my life of ungodly things (already been deleting all of my erotica off my Kindle and removing immodest clothes from my wardrobe).

Now, I am self-employed, and my husband works extremely difficult shifts leading to an odd schedule...add in that we have a toddler, and basically our house is an utter wreck (working so hard to get it clean before missionaries get here).

Because our dishwasher broke in the middle of an intensive 7 day, 17 hour workweek for my husband, many dishes got disgustingly rotten, we threw them out, and we had little left. We got rid of those, too, and I did some creative budgeting and discovered we could eat healthier and spend about the same, maybe a little less or more, if we ate out and never cooked (we eat salads, wraps, burritos and used canned goods like tuna and beans). This eliminated a huge, burden of a chore in cleaning and a time-suck of cooking, enabling our family to spend more time together.

I used to be a huge proponent of our food stockpile pantry. After no matter what I tried I couldn't afford the right things to keep rats and roaches out of our pantry, whatever we hadn't used was mostly ruined.

So now, I'm wondering, do I need to reacquire dishes and go back to cooking? Am I required to have a food stockpile? Am I doing something wrong?

Sorry if this sounds silly! Thanks for reading my rambling post!

Please offer me some advice on this, I'm so confused...I don't want to be doing something wrong according to how God wants us to live.

[pam]

I worry that you are setting the wrong example for your toddler as he/she grows up. The idea that dishes can't be washed because the dishwasher is broken doesn't teach the value of work. You also mentioned that this happened because of your husband's intensive workweek. You didn't mention why you couldn't wash the dishes.

Eating out all the time doesn't teach the value of learning to cook, clean and sit down together as a family to eat.

[JessiePadGirl]

I worry that you are setting the wrong example for your toddler as he/she grows up. The idea that dishes can't be washed because the dishwasher is broken doesn't teach the value of work. You also mentioned that this happened because of your husband's intensive workweek. You didn't mention why you couldn't wash the dishes.

Eating out all the time doesn't teach the value of learning to cook, clean and sit down together as a family to eat.

It wasn't so much that dishes couldn't be washed but that everything was dirty, disgusting and there was no room to do anything. Otherwise, I regularly would wash daily dishes.

Re: why I couldn't wash all the dishes, between my own work, and the fact that I spent all most all of my time breastfeeding, I couldn't seem to find enough time to make any progress.

Also, we always set down together as a family and while I'm not always cooking I do prepare meals quite often (just things like wraps, burritos, salads that don't need to be cooked).

I appreciate your advice, and suppose I should have been more clear in these things.

I definitely worry that I'll be teaching bad things to my toddler. I'm a bit of a health nut, so I've always emphasized healthy eating choices. I meant to mention that we always keep TONS of fresh produce on hand (not just salad ingredients).

I think that I may need to rebuild the kitchen, yes. I just don't think that things are currently manageable that way...my husband's work situation might be changing in about three months, and then we would be moving. I think that would be a viable time to start over if I haven't already found a good way to do so.

Thanks again for your advice!

[skippy740]

I'd be more concerned about the rats & roaches first - ESPECIALLY with a toddler in the house. If you're renting, you need to call the property management and get an exterminator. If you own your home, and money is tight, you should talk to the Bishop. Yes, non-members can get church assistance as well. There may be an exterminator in the ward who can help with this, and the Relief Society can help clean the house.

You ask about how God would want you to live. God's house is a house of order. So should yours.

Things can happen over time. It's important to provide a clean and safe environment for your baby.

"So... don't let worry kill you off... let the church help!" :)

[JessiePadGirl]

I'd be more concerned about the rats & roaches first - ESPECIALLY with a toddler in the house. If you're renting, you need to call the property management and get an exterminator. If you own your home, and money is tight, you should talk to the Bishop. Yes, non-members can get church assistance as well. There may be an exterminator in the ward who can help with this, and the Relief Society can help clean the house.

You ask about how God would want you to live. God's house is a house of order. So should yours.

Things can happen over time. It's important to provide a clean and safe environment for your baby.

"So... don't let worry kill you off... let the church help!" :)

I am definitely taking care of that problem...that's why things are in such a stasis.

We're doing everything we can to get rid of these pests. We've been told that they are pretty much unavoidable in our complex, even though I think where we live in Hawaii is pretty nice.

Thanks for your advice!

[Finrock]

Good afternoon JessiePadGirl! :) I hope you are doing well.

If I understand your concern correctly, I think your concern is that over the years your family has adjusted to things and ways to accomodate the demands of life, and you are worried that what the Church might require of you is in conflict with what you are use to doing?

Let me know, please, if I'm on the right track.

Kind Regards,

Finrock

[JessiePadGirl]

Good afternoon JessiePadGirl! :) I hope you are doing well.

If I understand your concern correctly, I think your concern is that over the years your family has adjusted to things and ways to accomodate the demands of life, and you are worried that what the Church might require of you is in conflict with what you are use to doing?

Let me know, please, if I'm on the right track.

Kind Regards,

Finrock

Thanks for chiming in.

And, not quite...We've been doing this for under a month as a way to cope, but it isn't the worst plan for us (it has helped us spend much more time together without breaking the bank) but I'm not sure if I am supposed to have a food stockpile/pantry, if it is part of being LDS or just something smart for most people.

[pam]

I am definitely taking care of that problem...that's why things are in such a stasis.

We're doing everything we can to get rid of these pests. We've been told that they are pretty much unavoidable in our complex, even though I think where we live in Hawaii is pretty nice.

Thanks for your advice!

Having lived in Hawaii, I can certainly understand the problem with the roaches. We used to have to put roach traps even in the cars. They were everywhere no matter how clean you kept everything. Not to mention having to completely check beds for centipedes before crawling into it at night.

[Connie]

Jessie, no LDS are not required to have food storage, but we are very strongly encouraged to have food storage. In fact, a lot of the encouragement is along the lines of slowly building up a food storage.

I think if what you are doing works for you and your family, then keep it up. I'm not saying that you shouldn't continually try to improve and do things better, but one can only do so much. You are brand new to the gospel and you need to take things line upon line--baby steps. Being able to spend time as a family is hugely important.

Wish you the best.

[JessiePadGirl]

Everyone, thanks for your help!

I have discussed it with my husband, and it turns out that we needed to talk about this. Without getting into personal things, let's just say while he was against going back to cooking, once we figured out other things that needed to be changed we agreed to make a smart move back to cooking.

Thanks again to everyone that helped me out in this thread.

I'm excited to build up a food stockpile again :-)

[pam]

Everyone, thanks for your help!

I have discussed it with my husband, and it turns out that we needed to talk about this. Without getting into personal things, let's just say while he was against going back to cooking, once we figured out other things that needed to be changed we agreed to make a smart move back to cooking.

Thanks again to everyone that helped me out in this thread.

I'm excited to build up a food stockpile again :-)

Right now the focus within the church is to build up a 3 month supply of food with things that you eat on a daily basis. So when you go grocery shopping, just pick up a few extra cans of things you would normally eat. That way you have a start on your 3 month supply.

[Just_A_Guy]

A couple of thoughts:

1) I used to work for a major pest control company (was a technician for a summer in southern California). There's not much an exterminator will do that you couldn't do yourself. For the roaches, spray the baseboards of your kitchen with a liquid pesticide (ideally, one where bifenthrin is the active ingredient). If you have a major problem, try to also get some of the pesticide powder and a hand-compression blower; use a screw driver to punch a hole in the drywall underneath your sinks, and blow a couple puffs of the powder into your wall by the plumbing. (You may or may not be able to get this stuff in your particular state). Expect to see more activity over the next couple of days as the little beasties come out to die. However, especially with roaches, the best defense is basic sanitation.

As for the rats: You can call an exterminator, but they'll probably just show up with common mousetraps or, if you're squeamish, glueboards or bait boxes--all of which you can get at your local Home Depot.

2) My wife has been on bed rest for the past two months (just gave birth Wednesday, finally). I cannot endorse the use of paper plates, cups, and silverware strongly enough. They make cleaning the pots, pans, and cooking utensils manageable.

[Guest]

JAG, for all of that effort, I would personally hire someone if I could. But then we're not very handy people. We've learned the hard way too many times that the effort and sometimes even the cost of doing some things ourselves isn't worth the money it would cost to hire someone with the right equipment and know-how.

And yes, paper everything until your dishwasher gets fixed! Then you just have pots and pans to wash. In the time it would take to post and respond to a thread, I could wash a sink of pots. I'm nursing too, and I have twins. I know that posting happens during nursing. I've spent plenty of time doing that! But there has to be time cut out somewhere to have your home sanitary. Gross, moldy dishes and infestation becomes a CPS issue, if you're not careful.

[skippy740]

For the roaches, spray the baseboards

I read that part a little too quick and inserted a different word that started with a "b" and ended with "ards". It REALLY caught me off guard until I slowed down to read it properly!

[Vort]

I read that part a little too quick and inserted a different word that started with a "b" and ended with "ards". It REALLY caught me off guard until I slowed down to read it properly!

But even more appropriate.

I hate roaches.

[Finrock]

Thanks for chiming in.

You're welcome and it's more like a blaring horn than chiming in.

And, not quite...We've been doing this for under a month as a way to cope, but it isn't the worst plan for us (it has helped us spend much more time together without breaking the bank) but I'm not sure if I am supposed to have a food stockpile/pantry, if it is part of being LDS or just something smart for most people.

OK, thanks for clarifying. Well, this is my advice. You should know that God does not require you to "run faster than [you have] strength". That doesn't excuse you from action, however, because "it is expedient that [you] should be diligent, that thereby [you] might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order" (Mosiah 4:27).

God expects us to seek after all good and wholesome things. He has directed us to be self-sufficient and to be prepared. Through his prophets, God has commanded us to have food storage. So, should you have food storage? Yes, because you should follow God's commandments and because it is a good idea just on a pratical, preparedness level. But, you start small. One step at a time. And, most of all, don't worry about what other's might think of your efforts. Just be true to yourself and to God and all will work out fine.

My overarching point is this: Try to live the principles that you know the best that you can, relying on the Spirit to overcome your shortcomings. It is imperative for progression in the gospel that we forfeit or give up (like purging the erotica from your Kindle) our false or unrighteous or sinful or incorrect traditions and lifestyles and replace them with correct traditions, correct lifestyle choices, and correct principles.

Regards,

Finrock

[Guest]

There's only one requirement... for now... that is the most important for your family: Gain a testimony of the Atonement of Christ, the truth of the Book of Mormon and that Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God. That's enough for the Church.

The house, the food storage, all that stuff are "extra". Basically - it's part of provident living that is taught by the Church but is not essential to salvation.

So, it is probably best if you tackle your household issues separate from the teachings of the Church for now just so you don't get overwhelmed.

So, about cooking... I don't see a problem at all with a household who goes out to eat every single day if they can afford it. If I can afford it, I'd do the same! As a matter of fact, I have a job because I hate to cook. My job allows me to "hire" somebody else to cook for me (restaurant). But, a lot of times, I use this place called Super Suppers. What they do is have pre-mixed food. For example, if say, you want Lasagna for dinner. First, you have to make sure you got the pasta, then the ground meat, then the cheese, then the tomatoes, herbs, and spices and the garlic bread. With Super Suppers, you won't have to worry about having those in the pantry or having a certain spice because all those ingredients are going to be packaged for you in the baggies. So, if the dish calls for Tumeric (hah, yeah, I have no idea what that is either), you won't have to buy the whole bottle to use 1/2 a teaspoon. And then, you can just throw these baggies in your freezer and the day you want it for dinner, you can just take it out to thaw in the morning and then cook it for dinner following the simple instructions written on the baggie.

I did a google search and they have Java Kai in Hawaii that's also like Super Suppers.

Now, about the dishes. I'm a fan of paper plates. If you do the Super Suppers route, they have a lot of stuff that already come in foil containers that you can stick in the oven then throw away afterwards so you don't even have a pan to wash. But, usually, when I cook, I clean the pots and pans before we eat dinner then the kitchen does not get too overwhelming when the dirty dishes join the kitchen mess.

I have a perfectly working dishwasher that I rarely use. I grew up in the Philippines and so hand-washing is a habit for me and the dishwasher is a luxury, usually just for parties, that uses up way too much water.

Now, about the food storage... I'd just keep canned goods in the pantry that I normally eat. My family love spam and canned corned beef. I have a boatload of those in my pantry. They're roach and rat proof. If you want to work in getting more staples and stuff like rice and such, you can get them all canned at the cannery to get it roach and rat proof. The Church has canneries that is open to everybody - church member or not. I think they have one in Honolulu if that's accessible to you.

But right now, I think I should just take it one step at a time. Take care of the baby and your health first and foremost, then worry about the rest of the stuff later. In the meantime, go to Church Services on Sunday and get to know the Relief Society. They're quite a Relief, I tell ya!

[Blocky]

Our salvation is not directly tied to how fabulous our food storage is.

With all the issues you have going (totally not judging for just throwing crazy stuff out... things have gotten crazy here before...) it sounds like you have plenty to focus on before you focus on food storage.

A fantastic 1st step if you really are gun-ho is to just make a 72 hour kid as a family home evening. Then in a few months you can review your next step for food storage. No rush needed, slow and steady.

[annewandering]

Congrats on the baby! #1 household chore for you right now is feeding and caring for the baby. Do what you can to eliminate all the stuff that is bogging you down. I dont like tossing dishes but sometimes you just have to so you can even think clearly. There have been such good suggestions so far!

God does not require a perfect house to be saved. (for which I am eternally grateful!) For your health those rodent and bug issues do need to be dealt with as you already know. Your husband should deal with them so you do not have issues with disease and chemicals while you are nursing.

Hey do you have visiting teachers? If not ask the missionaries for them. :) I bet they can help you a lot in getting sorted out.

Oh and I am sure Blocky meant a 72 hour KIT not kid. :)

[pam]

A couple of thoughts:

1) For the roaches, spray the baseboards of your kitchen with a liquid pesticide (ideally, one where bifenthrin is the active ingredient). If you have a major problem, try to also get some of the pesticide powder and a hand-compression blower; use a screw driver to punch a hole in the drywall underneath your sinks, and blow a couple puffs of the powder into your wall by the plumbing. (You may or may not be able to get this stuff in your particular state). Expect to see more activity over the next couple of days as the little beasties come out to die. However, especially with roaches, the best defense is basic sanitation.

JAG if you have never lived in Hawaii you would have no idea about the roaches there. Nothing kills them. Seriously. And as far as them being "little" beasties, you could surf through your house on them. They are huge.

[Wingnut]

2) My wife has been on bed rest for the past two months (just gave birth Wednesday, finally).

Congratulations!!

[pam]

2) My wife has been on bed rest for the past two months (just gave birth Wednesday, finally)

Oh my gosh, I don't know how I missed that, though I did see a few things on facebook about 5th times a charm?

Congrats to you.

[Just_A_Guy]

Oh my gosh, I don't know how I missed that, though I did see a few things on facebook about 5th times a charm?

Congrats to you.

Thanks, Pam and Wingers. Pam, we had four other trips to the hospital with this pregnancy--false starts, basically. Just_A_Girl's basically coming off of a month and a half of contractions every ten minutes.

[Guest]

I had lots of bedrest for the same reason. What a drag! I'm glad your little one his here safely and your wife is free of her prison sentence. :) Congrats!

[JessiePadGirl]

Wow, such amazing responses here!

I have been busy reading the Book of Mormon and getting to know the Ward, and the missionaries, so sorry for the late reply.

My crock pot made it through the storm, the beasties are as taken care of as they can be, and May 1, I will be rebuilding my kitchen, and my pantry.

Thanks to everyone who chimed in!