Did anyone else's parents react negatively when they converted?

[autismmum]

Hi

I am in the process of converting and it has brought such peace to my life.

However my parents particularly my mum are not impressed.

She says it's a cult and a moneymaking exercise and even went so far as to say that if I went ahead with it she was changing her will as she wasn't having 10% of her money going to the Mormon church!

None of this has swayed me as I believe the Father has led me here and wants me to go in this direction.

I am 42 and have my own family and my parents live in the other end if the country to me so really it doesn't matter I guess, but I just wanted her to be happy for me and understand how it has affected my life in such a powerful way.

Instead she belittles it by saying it is my lifelong love of Donny Osmond that has put me on this path!!!!! That has nothing to do with it ...God has called me to this, but to her it's all Donnys fault....have to laugh really but it hurts.

Plus when looking for some info on Internet earlier I stumbled on anti Mormon stuff which made me wonder momentarily if I was making a big mistake ....but I know deep down it is right for me and I have come home.

Just feel like everywhere I turn people are trying to pull me away....I won't let it happen.

[Guest]

I'm the only Mormon in a giant family of devout Catholics. My mother still sends goodies to the Carmelite Sisters every week to pray for my soul. :)

It really doesn't bother me that my family think I'm going to hell if I don't "wake up and come home" to the Catholic Church. I was a devout Catholic before I became Mormon so I know exactly why they think that. I know for a fact that they love me and they don't want me to suffer for an eternity and that's why they're doing the best way they know how to "wake me up".

At the same time, I look at my life in the concept of eternity. Life on earth is just a small smidgen of our eternal progression. I don't want to turn my back on what I know to be the the truth, giving up my eternal direction, just so I can give my mother comfort in this short mortal existence. Instead, I follow the teachings of Christ in providing all the love, charity, and service that I can give, with all of my being, to my mother - and to my family, even when it sometimes gets so frustrating to hear them talk bad about my faith. I just let it go. One of these days, they will see the truth that I see and embrace it - whether in this life or the next. In that I am certain. In the meantime, I can ease their burden through love.

[Yehshen]

My parents are dead, but I'm sure they would have reacted negatively to my conversion. Certainly, pretty much every one of my friends did .....although there was vast differences in the negative reactions. Anything from shunning to gentle amusement.

I think all of the reactions are just due to folks being protective and cautious....and there is a good bit of misinformation out there, and that's not even including the anti-mormon literature. One of my closes friends (an evangelical protestant) refused - she would say REFUSED - to attend my baptism because she would not enter a mormon church and fall prostrate in worship of Joseph Smith).

(Her opinion remained unchanged when I tried to tell her that I hadn't seen anyone doing that). Still, it's been six months, and even she is smoothing out - well somewhat. She is no longer shunning me, but rather standing by to be there when I come to my senses. :) And yes, her actions did hurt.

I guess the more practical question that I still need to resolve is how much do I confide? A week ago I went to the temple (about 70 minutes away) and did baptisms. Where was I, some asked. What was I doing? Still don't have a good answer - somehow silence doesn't seem right - ideally I would remain authentic.

[Guest]

I guess the more practical question that I still need to resolve is how much do I confide? A week ago I went to the temple (about 70 minutes away) and did baptisms. Where was I, some asked. What was I doing? Still don't have a good answer - somehow silence doesn't seem right - ideally I would remain authentic.

I had this reserve before Yehshen. Now, I just say it like it is. For example, it used to be a giant beef with my mother that I don't own a cream and sugar server. When she's at my house she would complain about not having one and I would say, we don't drink coffee so we don't need a cream and sugar server. Then my mom would say, well, you still should have one for your guests. And I would say, we don't serve coffee to guests. And my mom would say, that's a bad host, even grocery stores serve free coffee to guests, why won't you? And I simply say, well, mom, I'm Mormon.

And that's all I say. She'd go and and on and on about it attacking the Church even for their "silliness" and I just smile and let it go.

Then, friends would ask me why my kid is not in the Travel Soccer Team. And I simply say, we don't play soccer on Sunday. And they'd go on and on about how "silly" Mormons are... I just smile and let it go.

There's a giant book of mormon on the table in the formal room. It's the first thing a guest sees when they sit down. It's not there to "brag" that we're Mormons or to proselyte to guests. It's just there because we are Mormons and we have a giant book of mormon.

So, it's just like Tim Tebow in a way. Live it, don't apologize for it. Let them take you as you are.

[autismmum]

Glad I am not alone here:)

The thing is she is ruining our relationship really. She lives 6 hours away by car so we dont see each other much.

We did phone each other a couple of times a week for long calls and chats but at the moment I cant bring myself to even do that as I feel like there is a large part of my life I cant talk about or share.

The anti mormon stuff isnt a problem to me..it just shocked me how it drew me in and got me doubting myself ...until I just turned it off and decided I wasnt having it ruin my beliefs.

I am so pleased I found this place as before then I didnt really have anyone to share all of this with:)

[RMGuy]

I've known one set of parents of a college student convert in our ward to react very negatively.

Usually, it is has been pretty ambivalent

A few times they have been genuinely supportive.

I have also know more than a couple of parents that have reacted very negatively when their children have deconverted.

-RM

[skippy740]

My brother's fiance converted about 2 years ago. They are scheduled to be sealed in the temple on May 25th (also the 35th anniversary of Star Wars).

Two years ago, her parents would've rather burned the temple down. Today, they're more accepting and approving.

Now she's considering a civil ceremony instead. Probably has more to do with childhood dreams of a "big wedding". After all, when you grow up outside the church, you don't dream of a temple ceremony. You dream of something like on "Father of the Bride".

It's just one more way that the Church's stance on temple ceremonies can seem to divide families. In England, because it's the LAW to have a public wedding, you can get married publicly and sealed in the same day. Not so here in the US.

The Church is still full of grace and truth... no matter what the obstacles seem to be.

[Guest]

Glad I am not alone here:)

The thing is she is ruining our relationship really. She lives 6 hours away by car so we dont see each other much.

We did phone each other a couple of times a week for long calls and chats but at the moment I cant bring myself to even do that as I feel like there is a large part of my life I cant talk about or share.

The anti mormon stuff isnt a problem to me..it just shocked me how it drew me in and got me doubting myself ...until I just turned it off and decided I wasnt having it ruin my beliefs.

I am so pleased I found this place as before then I didnt really have anyone to share all of this with:)

Hi autismmum... I know it's hard to talk to your mom when you have this big elephant in the room you're trying to dance around. I have found that what works for me is to make that elephant smaller. There are so many things about the Church that is in common with any other religion, or even secular stuff. For example, I can talk to my mom about my prayers even if I'm LDS and she's Catholic. I can talk to my mom about Jesus Christ.

I can talk to my mom about all of the General Conference talks without us having to segregate between LDS and Catholic. You will hear a lot of the same topics that are covered by General Conference by the Catholic Pope/Bishops.

So, what I usually do is find the common denominator between us and talk about those. We don't even have to talk religion. We can talk for hours about what my kids are up to. Like, my 10 year old ended up in the ER last Friday. Again. Long discussion with my mother about that... My dad is fighting lung cancer... We can talk for ages about that.

The important thing is to try your best to keep your relationship with your mother as good as you can have it on your part. If she doesn't want to talk to you, that's okay, you can try again tomorrow.

When my parents weren't talking to me, it didn't stop me from calling them. My sister-in-law would play "operator" between us - I'll say something, she relays it to my family, they say something back through my sister-in-law and back and forth. I was okay with that. I just wanted that the relationship hangs by a thread instead of it breaking completely.

And about the anti-Mormon stuff... I didn't hide from it. But, I didn't take anything at face value. If I read some anti-mormon stuff, I go look up what the Mormons have to say about it and then evaluate the matter prayerfully myself to see how I feel about it. The way I see it, if I didn't look beyond what I learned under the Catholic Church, I wouldn't have found the restored gospel. So, I continue looking beyond what the LDS Church teaches to give that same bed-rock of faith. As it is now, the more I read outside of the LDS Church, the more my faith that the restored gospel is true deepens.

Hope this helps.

[HEthePrimate]

Not mine (I was BIC).

But I do know one Jewish lady to converted to Mormonism, and her family basically disowned her and would no longer talk to her. This lasted for years, until they realized that after converting to Mormonism, she actually became more interested in her Jewish heritage than she had previously been! Then they warmed up to her again, and it was okay. :)

[autismmum]

Thanks for the replies:)

You are right I should try to carry on talking to her.

I think I just find in frustrating that she isnt overjoyed about it like I am.

I am hoping she will come round to the idea eventually.

[autismmum]

Well I rang her today and while we were talking I told her of my intention to be baptised. She was ok about it really...she still thinks its a cult and still blames Donny Osmond lol. Oh and people on here are being nice to me so I get dragged further in. So apart from that it went well;)

[NadiaStar]

I have a friend that was seriously interested in the Church (is now active and faithful for less shallow reasons) because of Donny Osmond!

My parents, back in the day, weren't happy when I decided to go active again. We had always technically been Mormon, still had names on the church lists, but my parents thought that was as good as it should get.

[autismmum]

I'd imagine back in the 70s a lot of people probably got into LDS because of the Osmonds. Quite frankly there is a lot to think about in joining up and I certainly wouldn't be doing it just because I liked a singer. My mum just says it to try to make me feel daft I think.

[Guest]

Oh, oh, oh! Gladys Knight is on Dancing with the Stars!

I know we had an lds.net member here that got interested in the Church because of David Archuleta. Nothing wrong with that. :)

[shdwlkr]

I Joined the church over 40 years ago. My parents where ok with it just wanted nothing to do with themselves. They even forbid me from doing temple work for them after they died. Only my sister is left to see if I do it or not.

Family can either support, hinder or just plain ignore you when you join and you are the only one in your family that is Mormon. I have never regretted joining the church if I had not I most likely would not be alive today. Yep one wild kid back then and no none of it was illegal just a wild kid working on road construction for long hours and lots and lots of driving to and from work at all hours of the day and night and burning the candle at both ends.

Time is the best test of whether family will accept your choice or not and for me they never turned away from me. My first wife was murdered, second dumped me after 20 years and she could get the house, 25% of my pension and my kids. Last wife just decided that someone new had to be better than me and she found at least one before we were divorced. Yep life is fun but I never thought I would get to enjoy some of the fun that JOB did in the bible.

I am now in my middle 60's have small kids that get to see dad every so often and you know the funny thing is that single women in the church see this as a real issue. I have been told to get rid of the kids and we could maybe have something, I am done with kids I raised mine, I am just not going to deal with raising someone else's kids, and the strangest is I don't like bald men with beards.

Oh well there is a real reason I am where I am and why I have kids in my life at this stage of life and all I know is that I have to stay in my kids lives as long as they want me there no matter what it does to me personally. If the single sisters of this church see kids now as an issue what will they think about them in the next life?

We all carry around this bag of issues(dirt) in this life for some it is a small but challenging bag for others it is large and heavy and at times we must drag it with us because it is so heavy. Now you may wonder how we lighten this bag? Well really it is quite easy; you see as we grow in our understanding of the challenges we have in this life and that Jesus is the one to take these burdens and pains and hurts to a little of that dirt gets taken out of the bag so with luck when we are very old it doesn't seem like there is anything in the bag of life for us to carry anymore.

Take care and God bless

Edited May 4, 2012 by shdwlkr