Coping with tactless evangelicals

[Hala401]

In the old days when when Bible Thumpers would accost me I would just leave their battered bodies laying on the sidewalk. But now as Mormon, I can not act out my sense of anger and injustice on them any more.

My life for the last year+ has been increasingly, astonishingly, wonderful and it seems that Heavenly Father has had mercy on me.

So, yesterday, Evangelical friend from before, called me and as usual I try to be supportive and healing to them. He weighs about 450lbs, and has lost a leg, and is abut to lose another, and has big physical and psychological problems. So, I try to encourage as much as I can.

As we were getting ready to end our conversation, I told him that I would pray for things to become easier for him and then he said he'd pray for me, and I thanked him.

He then said that he had not given up on my being Mormon and we needed to talk about it soon. I said that I was extremely happy now, and then he started into the usual lies about us. I told him that we should talk and I would get answers to his questions answered. Most of these things are usually founded on either misconception or outright lies.

I could feel myself getting really tight, and I told him that he could pray for me but if it was going to be an Evangelical prayer, to forget it. I recognized that I was losing it and got right off the phone feeling degraded and dirty.

My ire continues to simmer, and now I have to find a better way to respond. Suggestions?

[carlimac]

I responded the same way to a friend telling me that I was going to he**. Then I found out she was telling me because she loves me and wants to save me. I calmed down after that and had to shake my head (in private) at her misguided and backward way of showing concern for me. I take a "thanks, but no thanks" approach now. I don't try to Bible bash or fight because no matter how many scriptures we throw out there, they will always intepret them differently. We have now agreed to disagree.

[Hala401]

I responded the same way to a friend telling me that I was going to he**. Then I found out she was telling me because she loves me and wants to save me. I calmed down after that and had to shake my head (in private) at her misguided and backward way of showing concern for me. I take a "thanks, but no thanks" approach now. I don't try to Bible bash or fight because no matter how many scriptures we throw out there, they will always intepret them differently. We have now agreed to disagree.

So, no teeth marks.

[prisonchaplain]

He wants you in the traditional Christian fold, and you wish he could see your added light. Seems like you both want the best for each other. But, like politics, religion goes deeper--deeper, I would hope. So, it hurts when those we love disagree. But, love should be deeper than that disagreement.

No answers...hopefully some encouragement not to give up on people.

[beefche]

I usually don't allow myself to get in those kind of discussions. If the other wanted to understand me or my religion, then I am more than happy to answer any questions they have. But, if their agenda is to "convince" me I'm wrong. I just smile and either change the subject or walk away. I won't engage in that. I respect their beliefs enough to not "preach" to them and I expect the same.

[pam]

I've had people of other faiths say they would pray for me...I just tell them thanks.

[applepansy]

Hala, In the circumstances you describe, a prayer is a prayer is a prayer. Does it matter what religion? I'll take prayers on my behalf from anyone willing to ask God to help me.

Its important to remember that just because an Evangelical or a Mormon offers a prayer, doesn't mean Heavenly Father will step on anyone's agency and force that person to become Evangelical or Mormon or to change their personal beliefs. But... the prayer is still a way of showing love and respect for not only our friend but for God.

[Hala401]

He wants you in the traditional Christian fold, and you wish he could see your added light. Seems like you both want the best for each other. But, like politics, religion goes deeper--deeper, I would hope. So, it hurts when those we love disagree. But, love should be deeper than that disagreement.

No answers...hopefully some encouragement not to give up on people.

Thank you. I can see that I am going to have to sit quietly and pray about this one. He has seen me through some really painful times when I was so full of damnation and self hate that even I am surprised I survived. And now in slightly over a year, I must be the happiest woman he knows. It "feels" like he does not want me to be happy, and that he is discounting my experience with Heavenly Father and my encounter with the reality of Jesus Christ.

[mirkwood]

If the other wanted to understand me or my religion, then I am more than happy to answer any questions they have. But, if their agenda is to "convince" me I'm wrong.

I adopted this philosophy a long time ago. I'm happy to answer honest questions, I am not interested in arguing religion. I wish I had learned that lesson sooner.

[log2]

There is no arguing religion with me. I will tell someone directly why I am LDS. Once they hear that explanation, they never bring up the subject again.

Such is the power of pure testimony.

[skippy740]

It's practically pointless to argue. The only way I 'argue' is by sharing testimony and quoting LDS scriptures. I'm also quick to let them think what they want to think.

Of course, that's in-person. Online? Well, it's a little different because I can think and research things and then post. Even then, while it's harder to 'walk away from the keyboard', I'm still willing to do so.

Find some great scriptures to share common ground with. Alma 32 is a good chapter to quote some verses from. So is 2 Nephi 4. It's easier to build common bridges than to be a devisive sword.

[Martain]

Why not do the above?

Since he has so many concerns, why not tell him to send his questions to you in writing? No press of needing immediate responses, time for the spirit to help inspire your writing and time to answer each question honestly and calmly? Perhaps this is a time where writing rather than verbal communication would be a better method for communication.

Should he accept, I would definitely use the scriptures to answer his questions. A good one that came to mind is Galations 5:22. It sounds like even he has seen these fruits in your life and you can tie them back to the knowledge you have gained.

Among other things, were I in your shoes I would probably tell your friend something like this:

Would you tell someone to speak with an Atheist to learn about Christianity? As a Christian, wouldn't you want them to come to you first? Why then do you turn to Anti-LDS and Apostate sources to learn about the Book of Mormon and the LDS Church?

Say your friend came up to you and told you that your religion was false and that the Bible was just a made up story. Yet you ask them if they've read the Bible and they say no. Would you not tell them to read the Bible first before condemning it?

Why then do you come to us saying our religion is false and that the Book of Mormon is just a made up story? If you would not want someone passing judgement on your faith without first reading the Bible, why do you pass judgement ours without reading the Book of Mormon?

Edited May 6, 2012 by Martain

[skalenfehl]

I would invite him to join me in prayer right there and then. I would let him pray first to his hearts desire. And then I would offer up my own fervent prayer for us both with my own heart's desires. The Spirit may well speak to both of you and tell you both exactly what you need to hear.

[seeking_peace]

We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience and allow all men the same privilege. Let them worship who where or what they may.

I always like to fall back on the 11th Article of Faith.