Fellowshipping in the bathroom

[Suzie]

I moved to a new ward some time ago and I was looking forward meeting new people when I saw her for the first time. Tall, young, extremely quiet, with big brown eyes and a very serious face. I wanted to say hi and introduce myself but I was too afraid to do it because I thought she would literally bite me. I tried to make a comment about the weather to see how she would react and her eyes pierced mine with anger and frustration and she replied by shaking her head. No words were spoken. I didn’t even know at that point if she could speak.

Next Sunday. There she was again. This time she looked like she was going to beat up someone at any moment. I decided to sit near her row. She saw me. Great, I thought. She gave me the serious look and I smiled back. She didn’t. She remained the same. No singing, no talking, going right after sacrament. I tried to make conversation but my sons were upset that the “magic word” we had for sacrament meeting which was “Holy Ghost” was mentioned only twice and gave them the right to only a couple of m&m’s. They argued I should have chosen “Jesus Christ” instead. She looked at me and left.

I tried to get more information about her and I even described her to the Bishop and a few sisters I know. It was almost like if I was asking information about a recent convict because everyone knew who she was yet nobody wanted to talk or tell me anything about her.

After a couple of Sundays, I was in the bathroom after sacrament meeting fixing my make up when she stormed in crying her eyes out. She was crying so much that the top part of her dress was soaking with tears. I asked what’s wrong? But she didn’t answer. I asked for a second time what’s wrong and she had nothing to say.

I stood there looking at her red eyes full of tears….the total unhappiness on her face and I asked for a third time “what’s wrong”? And she shouted “Nothing, go!”.

I didn’t move. I don't know why I didn't move. I looked at her. She looked at me. There was complete silence. I smiled and told her my name and she quietly told me hers.

Then all came out. Her abuse as a child, the present verbal abuse from her priesthood holder husband, a child she abandoned, separation, chastity and substance abuse issues and the total feeling of despair, loneliness and deep sadness. And yes, the tears. I have never seen anyone crying like that in my entire life. I didn’t know we could produce so many tears. Well, she certainly can.

We talked for the entire time of Sunday School and some part of Relief Society, well…she talked. I listened. A sister came in and without realizing what was going on, said “Sisters! Do you know you are suppose to be in Relief Society class now!?”. I smiled and said yes, I know. Her confused face couldn’t stop the questioning and asked “Then what are you guys doing in the bathroom”?

I smiled at my new friend who smiled back at me for the first time, gave her a hug and said to this sister “Fellowshipping”.

More confused than ever she replied “In the bathroom??!”

I smiled and said, yes fellowshipping in the bathroom. It's amazing.You should try it.

[skippy740]

While others were learning about the gospel... you were doing what the Savior would've wanted you to do... in the bathroom! :)

Thank you for sharing!

[Guest]

The quote in your signature is pretty perfect, too.

[Gwen]

I'm glad you were there for her. It's important to listen to the spirit and push through the walls others sometimes put up. Sometimes you never know how much something so little can mean.

I've struggled with depression off and on. At some of my darker times I pushed ppl away. Sitting in church was always the hardest. I remember sundays when I would go outside because I couldn't handle it anymore. I would sit and cry and as much as I wanted to be alone I also deeply wanted to know I wasn't alone. I would have never gone looking for someone to talk to but if someone had asked, pushed just a little, I would have told them everything. I even remember one sunday pleading with HF to send someone looking for me. I wanted someone to notice I was missing and come find me, anyone, just to know that I wasn't forgotten. No one ever came.

[Guest]

Gwen, that's sad. I'm sorry no one came. If it's any comfort, I've had thoughts to do something like that and sometimes write them off as me being silly and chicken out. I wonder if Heavenly Father inspired someone, but they didn't listen to that prompting. I remember reading Camilla Kimball's biography, and she said if she ever had the thought to do something good, she just did it, and never regretted it. You've given me another reason to listen to that advice.

[NeuroTypical]

Excellent work Suzie.

[slamjet]

I didn’t move. I don't know why I didn't move. I looked at her. She looked at me. There was complete silence. I smiled and told her my name and she quietly told me hers.

I know why you didn't move. It's called compassion.

[FlaviusHambonius]

That story needs to in the Ensign....or told in Conference where a lot of ears can hear and heed a great message of what it's all about.

[Jennarator]

Sounds like the beginning of a book. You should write one, I'd read it.

Good thing you were there for her. :)

[mhsmd]

I'm glad you were there for her. It's important to listen to the spirit and push through the walls others sometimes put up. Sometimes you never know how much something so little can mean.

I've struggled with depression off and on. At some of my darker times I pushed ppl away. Sitting in church was always the hardest. I remember sundays when I would go outside because I couldn't handle it anymore. I would sit and cry and as much as I wanted to be alone I also deeply wanted to know I wasn't alone. I would have never gone looking for someone to talk to but if someone had asked, pushed just a little, I would have told them everything. I even remember one sunday pleading with HF to send someone looking for me. I wanted someone to notice I was missing and come find me, anyone, just to know that I wasn't forgotten. No one ever came.

Same here. Lucky for me, after a few years I wasn't the only one in the branch like that. Then I think my friends started realizing why I seemed to disappear all the time. I think it's really hard to follow a prompting that tells you to leave your lesson, or some other church-designated activity. Actually, I sort of met my husband when he found me like that. He followed a prompting to check a particular room as he was locking up the building, and I'm pretty dang grateful he did!

There are certainly times when an individual needs help, and that help can be more important than listening to a lesson. What's the use in learning about how to be Christ-like if we aren't being Christ-like? It reminds me of the story when Brigham Young got up in a General Conference and told everyone to leave and help a struggling band of pioneers. Actions are far more important than words, and can build testimonies just as much as a prepared lesson.

[Suzie]

One of my sons is sick and I couldn't go to Church today. Guess who sent me a text just a little while ago asking why I missed Church? :)

[MiriamA]

Suzie,

well, I am crying... I agree, I am so glad you were there for her and listened to the Spirit and didn't let some else rush you off to class! I just don't know why people don't understand that even in the bathroom or not even in church, people can fellowship and be there for someone in their time of need.

Thank you.