angelbaby Posted October 24, 2006 Report Share Posted October 24, 2006 It's a bit trivial, but what are your favorite jokes at the moment? i like dumb jokes, so one of my favorites has always been one i heard in high school ... (q) what's big, white & sits in the corner? (a) a naughty fridge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted October 24, 2006 Report Share Posted October 24, 2006 ...what are your favorite jokes at the moment?This one has been my favorite kid's joke for many years:What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?"Here come the elephants!!"What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?* ****He didn't say anything, he didn't recognize them.M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 24, 2006 Report Share Posted October 24, 2006 LOL, M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Dorsey Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?-----------------------------------------With a pumpkin patch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I'll use that with my kids! Thanks for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LionHeart Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -To prove to the skunk that it can be done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I've had a skunk prowling aroudn in my backyard recently. It even sprayed my back door! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MrsS Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I've had a skunk prowling aroudn in my backyard recently. It even sprayed my back door! Get some Pine-Sol ®, bucket and water and wash that door! It is the only thing that will neutralize that foul stuff! Then put some pine-sol and water into plastic containers (like empty butter dishes or even 1 pint freezer tubs and place them around the perimeter of your yard. That will chase them off - the skunks, rats, rodents, VERMIN! They absolutely hate the stuff. This is from 1st hand experience - been there - exhusband got sprayed entirely by several skunks - handed him a bucket filled with 1 cup pine-sol, hot water and an OLD rag- along with a garbage bag. I made him strip off his clothes out on the porch, put his clothes in the bag, and sponge down good. We lived on 10 acres - and it was the middle of November at about 10 pm, and it was 22 degree's out. AFTER he was washed down good with the pine-sol water, then I unlocked the door and let him in to take a warming shower. The next day I tossed all of his clothes into the washing machine, added 1/4 cup pine-sol, the regular amount of soap and washed them. No residuale skunk smell at all! I also had to scrub the wooden porch with pine-sol water to get the oily skunk spray off- they had even hit the windows. :disgust: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 Thanks MrsS, I didn't know Pine-sol would work. We've tried, bleach and other household cleaners. Nothing worked. It is caked on the door! I'll tell my wife to try your suggestion. I've heard, washing with tomato sauce works when people get sprayed. I hope I never have to find out. Thanks again, Dr. T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelbaby Posted October 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 (q)what's big, white and swings through the trees? (a)tarzan the fridge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MrsS Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 Thanks MrsS,I didn't know Pine-sol would work. We've tried, bleach and other household cleaners. Nothing worked. It is caked on the door! I'll tell my wife to try your suggestion. I've heard, washing with tomato sauce works when people get sprayed. I hope I never have to find out. Thanks again, Dr. T Tomato juice doesn't work - costs a lot more and stains. Plus once you try to clean skunk spray with tomato juice, you will associate skunk smell with tomato every time. Best to use the Pine-Sol. You don't even have to rinse it off. Slop it on and leave it there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LionHeart Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 Montana Grizzly Bear Notice In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field. We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 MrsS, The tomato sauce is for neutralizing the smell from a person not the door. I just hope I never have to try it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MrsS Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 MrsS,The tomato sauce is for neutralizing the smell from a person not the door. I just hope I never have to try it. I know that - it still does NOT work. It is an old wives tale, and that is just what it is a tale. My best friend and her husband used to catch wild baby skunks- deskunk them and then sell them as pets. Unless you happened to be there in their backyard work shop at the time they were working on skunks you would never know what they did for a living. Pine-sol, get some and get to work on your door and on whomever got sprayed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 I C. Thanks for the heads up. You leave pine-sol in the person for a long time? Don't wash it off? (over night)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindy Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 one of my favorite Fozzy Bear jokes... from years ago.... What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green? Three skunks fighting over a pickle! (kinda fits into the skunk theme :) ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pushka Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 <div class='quotemain'>MrsS,The tomato sauce is for neutralizing the smell from a person not the door. I just hope I never have to try it. I know that - it still does NOT work. It is an old wives tale, and that is just what it is a tale. My best friend and her husband used to catch wild baby skunks- deskunk them and then sell them as pets. Unless you happened to be there in their backyard work shop at the time they were working on skunks you would never know what they did for a living. Pine-sol, get some and get to work on your door and on whomever got sprayed!How do you Deskunk a Skunk? sounds intriguing (sp!) I love all furry animals, but it would be a shame for the skunk to be ostracised because of its nasty niff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 Talking about Fozzy Bear reminded me of a joke he told "What the difference between a tomato?" (Whaka whaka whaka) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest T'Pau Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST find inside the big present under the Christmas tree?Emptiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 These are great jokes, I particularly like LionHeart's and T'Pau's. Nice to see you again T'Pau. :) M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MrsS Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 How do you Deskunk a Skunk? sounds intriguing (sp!) I love all furry animals, but it would be a shame for the skunk to be ostracised because of its nasty niff! They surgically remove the stink gland - yes they use surgical knives and sedate the little critters, cut them open and remove the glands, then stitch them up again. They also "neuter" them at the same time. When they are all healed, have had all their shots (same as for cats), and are trained to use a litter box, they would sell them as pets. They are really cuddly and in some cases I think they are more loving and loyal than dogs or cats. Virginia - my friend dearly loves cats - but she says that skunks are by far more loyal and cuddly than cats. Personally I prefer the aloofness of the cats. I just love it when I have been lucky enough to select a cat that has an attitude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 They would breed them and then "de-stink" the babies or where they adults? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindy Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 Personally I prefer the aloofness of the cats. I just love it when I have been lucky enough to select a cat that has an attitude! I am also one of the local cat lovers :) I have to admit... I do love a cat with an attitude.. to a point... no toleration on a cat destroying things just for the sake of destruction..... but I do get a kick out of one looking at you as you place his food down on the floor....and get the "you expect me to eat THIS?" look from the furry face..... Catitude I call it :) I really do miss the silly fur face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrawberryFields Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST find inside the big present under the Christmas tree?Emptiness.Welcome newcomer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insertwittynamehere Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 Okay, I think this shows that I'm a huge nerd but I think this is hilarious.. A hydrogen atom sits down at a bar and the bartender notices he's a bit down. "What's keeping ya down?" he asks. "I lost my electron." He says. "Are you sure?" asks the bartender. "Yes, I'm positive." It gets me everytime.. --insert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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