Isn't there some guideline against this?


LauraG
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Our ward RS is planning for us to attend a wedding ceremony for someone in our ward as our RS evening meeting this month. It is to be held at the home of the former bishop, released in November. It's this Thursday. I can't believe it. There has to be some guideline being broken here.

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It may not be the most tactful way to invite people to a wedding, but, since it's being held in a home and not at a Temple, I'm assuming it's for a convert and/or inactive member(s)? Perhaps having an extra strong show of support for this couple would help them on their way into/back into the Church?

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Our ward RS is planning for us to attend a wedding ceremony for someone in our ward as our RS evening meeting this month. It is to be held at the home of the former bishop, released in November. It's this Thursday. I can't believe it. There has to be some guideline being broken here.

Sounds to me like a nice thought. My high priest group is helping out with a wedding later this month for a new member who just moved in. I think it's great.

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Our ward RS is planning for us to attend a wedding ceremony for someone in our ward as our RS evening meeting this month. It is to be held at the home of the former bishop, released in November. It's this Thursday. I can't believe it. There has to be some guideline being broken here.

I don't understand the issue. You are concerned that it's the official RS meeting? Why is that a concern?

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It seems like a nice gesture but in MY opinion, making someone's wedding a RS event is out of place. If a group of women (and men) want to band together and throw someone a wedding, that's all fine and dandy but I don't think issuing it as an official RS event is appropriate. They do this type of thing frequently at my mum's ward for baby-showers. My mum says that some of the women feel pressured in showing up with gifts, and when people opt out, everyone else wonders why. So, not necessarily a bad thing but I can see how something like this might be uncomfortable and awkward for some members (and for various reasons). Being newly active (and it's still a hit and miss with attending RS), I know that I wouldn't be too thrilled about RS events being baby-showers or weddings. Sounds harsh? Sorry 'bout that. I'm all for gospel lessons or whatever but not crazy about throwing a party for a member or members as an official RS meeting. Like I said, maybe do this as an extracurricular activity, where there's no pressure to show up with gift in hand?

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I'm of the mind that if it happens to be falling on a normally scheduled RS meeting night, there might be a lot that would be going to the wedding or reception. If the family extended the invitation to all, what's the problem?

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That's a social issue. I've been to many receptions and weddings without a gift usually for financial reasons. I think most are happy to have people there sharing in their special day than pointing out that someone didn't bring a gift.

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I'm guessing that some people may feel pressured to give gifts they may not have otherwise given had it not been an official Church-sponsored event. It also seems to me that it's probably some ladies' lazy way to check off that box on their checklist instead of rescheduling or canceling altogether to avoid a conflict. I certainly wouldn't feel obligated to attend or even bring a gift if I were the OP.

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If the RS group was invited to the wedding, couldn't each woman contributed 5 to 10 dollars for a gift or a gift of money from the whole group?

M.

The problem is that if it is relief society then it is church. Dont think a collection for gifts would be appropriate. Honestly, it is way stickier than it would be worth, in my opinion.

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Except that it is Relief Society. The rules have to be different for RS than for a party.

Except that technically this isn't a Relief Society activity.

It would be like me saying, "Hey I'm getting married on a Tuesday. Now I know that conflicts with our normal Relief Society activity night so I'd like to invite all the sisters to my reception."

So to avoid any conflicts, the Relief Society Presidency decides to forego a formal Relief Society activity night and tells all the sisters they are invited to the reception.

I would not be expecting gifts from everyone but would love to have the presence of the other sisters there from my ward.

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Pam, I suspect that's what happened. It isn't "officially" a RS event. Just happened to occur on the same night. So, the regular event was cancelled and everyone encouraged to attend the wedding. They probably even announced it in RS. Which, if done, makes it sound official.

I still don't have a problem with it. Choose to attend or not. Take a gift or not. I can say that when I was married, I couldn't care less if people got us a gift. I just wanted to see them at the reception so I could show off my pretty dress and handsome husband. It was just a way to celebrate the momentous event in my life.

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What better way to show compassionate service than to support ward members who are getting married? Isn't that what RS is about? Everyone has their choice whether to attend or not, bring a gift or not. I wouldn't feel pressured either way.

That's what I thought, wasn't Relief Society created to have women show support for other women. What better way then to have the RS group be their to support one of their own at a very important time in her life.

M.

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Pam, I suspect that's what happened. It isn't "officially" a RS event. Just happened to occur on the same night. So, the regular event was cancelled and everyone encouraged to attend the wedding. They probably even announced it in RS. Which, if done, makes it sound official.

I still don't have a problem with it. Choose to attend or not. Take a gift or not. I can say that when I was married, I couldn't care less if people got us a gift. I just wanted to see them at the reception so I could show off my pretty dress and handsome husband. It was just a way to celebrate the momentous event in my life.

That's why I'm having a hard time understanding why it seems to be such a big deal and why some posters appear to have a problem with it.

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While I think the wording "Our RS activity this week will be attending a wedding" is kind of odd, it was probably just bad wording on someone's part or a simple not "getting it". I don't think anyone ever anticipated this situation, so I doubt there is a policy on it.

My advice would be to shrug the drama off and go/not go to the wedding depending on your preference and schedule.

If you are peeved you're missing out on a real RS acitivity, well... I can't really sympathize. I'm lazy and rarely make it to RS activities even when I get home from work in time.

But on that note, I second what others have said. You're supporting a sister. If that's not Relief Society, I don't know what is.

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perhaps better to cancel the relief society meeting and then invite everyone to the wedding.

That's a perfect solution. Yes! It's just that it feels awkward to have an official church meeting as someone's wedding. It's not even the gift thing for me. It's the fact that they are throwing a party for a specific couple as the official church activity. From what I've heard, the couple has no family around and they are fairly new in our ward. Well that's fine, I don't have any family in the immediate area, either. When my husband and I got married, no one from either family came to our wedding, and when we were sealed 4 years later, no one came, since we're converts.

Anyway, if they set a precedence of having a wedding as an official church meeting, then what's to stop the ward from having all future baby showers, bridal showers, missionary homecomings/send-outs, and wedding receptions as official church meetings, too? We could just do away with weekly Mutual and the activities committee could be renamed the party-planners. Relief Society activity committee could be the decorating committee. This could quickly become a problem, as I'm sure there are events such as these going on in everyone's lives all the time. The problem I have with it is that I don't believe a wedding ceremony can really be the type of event that can fulfill the true purposes of Relief Society. It just doesn't sit right with me as an official church meeting.

Cancel RS and invite everyone to the wedding. I would feel so much better about that!

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