How reliable is prayer to you?

[ZionsRodeVos]

I'm wondering if anyone else feels the way I do about prayer.

I've often heard that God answers every prayer even though he may not answer immediately nor the way we want him to. I still believe this, but it is so frustrating not knowing if I've received an answer or not to important prayers or the wondering if I missed the answer.

Prayer works wonderfully when I understand the answer, even if it is not what I wanted to hear and things don't go the way I asked for. I've had prayers answered in seconds and others that have taken longer for me to realize I got the answer.

My thinking these days is couldn't God have devised a better system for communication between him and us? I mean we have cell phones that seem more reliable than his communication with me.

There are times when I don't even bother to ask him for things since it doesn't seem to help anymore or I'll ask him to bless others since he doesn't seem to be helping me in the areas I feel I need help. And I've heard that you have to do more than ask but do all that you can on your own. Well, there's only so much I can do on my own and that doesn't seem to be enough. And sometimes I just ask for ideas since mine seem to have run out, I feel I get good ideas, but no way to implement them.

Anyone else wonder why prayer doesn't seem so reliable?

[beefche]

It's my opinion, that although I should pray for answers, God expects me to make decisions. I've had a couple of major decisions that I did not receive an answer on--one of them was what I consider the most important decision I'll make in this life. It wasn't until I had fasted, prayed and labored for months over the decision that I finally realized that the Lord wanted me to really decide. So, I did. I made the decision and once I actually acted on that decision is when I got an answer from God. In another example, I acted on my decision, but never got an answer--I think it was becuase either decision was correct and it truly was up to me to choose.

I think we may rely too much on God deciding for us for things. Instead of making decisions and asking God to confirm the decision. But, again, that's my opinion.

[Bini]

Beefche, did you not get an answer at all or did you mean to say that you made a decision and then the Lord confirmed it?

[Bini]

To be honest, I haven't prayed about major important decisions such as marriage or starting a family.. That was pretty much just discussed and decided upon between me and my husband. So my prayers have mostly been along the lines of.. Bless me to get over this head cold, bless my parents that they'll travel safely while on their journeys, etc. And I'm not always seeking an answer necessarily. Sometimes just talking out loud makes me feel better..

[Misshalfway]

My experience with prayer is similar to Beefche. There are lots of times where God did not answer or intervene. There have been times when He didn't confirm my decision even though I begged Him to.

I really think that this means that prayer and answers to prayer are only part of our experience with agency. You say that you wonder why God didn't make a better way to communicate. Well, if you are God and you are trying to raise up strong children who act "without compulsory means" (D & C 121), then how will they act on their own if everything is compulsory?

[beefche]

Beefche, did you not get an answer at all or did you mean to say that you made a decision and then the Lord confirmed it?

The first example I gave of the most important decision, I made the decision and the Lord confirmed it after I acted on my decision.

The second example I gave, I made the decision and acted on it and never received an answer from the Lord (didn't get a stupor of thought or confirmation or anything at all).

[Guest pspence2]

not reliable at all. Prayer is a way to practice being in the presence of god. It's a way to practice stillness.

Prayers are never answered. If you feel yours are. I'm so glad god thinks your prayers are more important than the thousands of starving people in africa praying for food.

[Guest]

I have a testimony on prayer that I bore on Fast Sunday this month. I'll summarize it here:

A few years ago, my uncle, a healthy 71 year old living in the Philippines, got hit by a motorcycle. He hit his head on the concrete. He was rushed to the hospital, but as there is no 911 or rescue van in the Philippines, it took a while to get there. By the time he reached the hospital, blood in his head has pressured his brain. My brother is a neurologist. When he got to the hospital his diagnosis is that performing surgery would only give a 15% chance of survival. He held a family meeting (we make decisions as a family when it comes to surgery because health insurance is not common in our family - the family takes care of hospital bills) and I was very vocal in telling my brother that if there's even a 1% chance of survival, I'm taking it. I was outvoted. My brother said it's in God's hands now, the surgery did not happen and the entire family was praying intensely to God for help. My uncle died. I was very bitter. Our prayers was not answered. But I blamed my brother for it. I believe that God will help us if we help ourselves and we didn't.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, my son's teacher passed out in the classroom and went into a comma. Everybody prayed including me for her. She died 2 days later.

This event brought on my old bitter feelings about my uncle passing away. And I started to ponder and pray about it. I started looking back into my life with all the prayers that I have offered and those that come to pass. I started to realize that my prayers are always answered by things aligned with the gospel. I am a convert to the church. I have prayed before I was LDS and I have had prayers that were answered then. As an LDS, I look back on those prayers and I realize that all those that were answered were aligned with the restored gospel as well.

So then I started to remember that ill-feeling I had when somebody bore a testimony at church right after 9/11. The person bearing her testimony said her prayers were answered and that her family was okay in New York. My mind automatically responded... what, you mean, those who died in 9/11 did not pray, or their prayers did not get answered? That's a bunch of crockpots!

So, my testimony is this... in my life, my prayer of making a million dollars in the lottery will not be answered because it is not aligned with God's will for me. I know that's a silly example, but I can say pretty much the same with any prayer that I have. If it is aligned with what God wills for me, then I will get it. If not - like my uncle passing away - then it will be answered in a different manner than I desire. Therefore, with my uncle's passing, I have learned to understand that my brother was right. It is in God's hands now that His will may be done. And He wills that my uncle pass the veil. I believe my uncle had a lot of work that needed to be done in the other side and God wants him to start working on it!

So that, I have learned to pray in this manner, "Dear Heavenly Father, please allow me to understand what thy will is so that I may desire it and ask for it in my prayers...".

The more prayers I have that get answered the more I feel surer that I am walking the path towards Him.

In my life, prayer is how I gauge whether what I'm doing/wanting/desiring is aligned to what God wants for me.

Edited June 19, 2012 by anatess

[Backroads]

I can count on one hand the times I've had a direct answer from prayer. My philosophy of prayer is as thus: Prayer is not about asking things things for God. It's about communication with God, that's it.

[Anddenex]

I'm wondering if anyone else feels the way I do about prayer.

There are times when I don't even bother to ask him for things since it doesn't seem to help anymore or I'll ask him to bless others since he doesn't seem to be helping me in the areas I feel I need help. And I've heard that you have to do more than ask but do all that you can on your own. Well, there's only so much I can do on my own and that doesn't seem to be enough. And sometimes I just ask for ideas since mine seem to have run out, I feel I get good ideas, but no way to implement them.

Anyone else wonder why prayer doesn't seem so reliable?

To answer your first statement/question? Yes, I believe I have similar thoughts and feelings about prayer as you do.

My patriarchal blessing has a few promises by which I have yet to see unfolded, and I am not sure they will. Let me be point blank, I don't think this is due to the Lord, but due to a lack of understanding to some doctrine I have not yet learned.

Here are some thoughts I have been having as I have tried to understand why prayer is so difficult, and yet at times so easy. For example, one time at work there was a raffle, the name drawn would win a combo DVD/VHS player. I silently prayed in my heart, "Father, I am not a rich man, and this would be nice to have in my home. Will though provide it for me?" I kid you not, within moments of saying "In the name of Jesus Christ, A-men." I received confirmation that my name would be drawn. When my name was called it wasn't a surprise.

At another time, I worked for what I thought good men and a great company. I prayed every night with as much sincerity and earnest desire as I could for success. Our manager at the time said, he had specific goals, and if we didn't reach a certain monetary goal, in order for him to fulfill his goal he would need to fire one person. This is the same person who on facebook a week or two before he fired me (a father of 4 children), said, "Unfortunately, I will not be able to pay off my house in 5 years, it will now be six." Obviously, we barely missed our monetary goal by $50,000. I say barely because we sold around $375K that quarter. The goal was around $425K.

I have thought many times since then, all the prayers I said. I have thought many times since then, how is it that the Lord will answer my prayer for a DVD/VHS player, but would not soften the heart of a greedy man, that I would not be fired, as I was trying to provide for a family now of 4 kids. I had trouble finding a job afterwards.

I am sharing this not for anybody to feel pity or compassion for me, only to set up these main points I have been thinking about.

I recently reread these words from Joseph Smith, "My first object is to find out the character of the only wise and true God, and what kind of being He is...

"Having a knowledge of God, we begin to know how to approach Him, and how to ask so as to receive an answer. When we understand the character of God, and know how to come to Him, He begins to unfold the heavens to us, and to tell us all about it. When we are ready to come to Him, He is ready to come to us." (Teaching of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, Chapter 2)

I am constantly reminded of the words given by a General Authority, within the first Quorum of the Seventy, "Prayer is so simple that we should remember, a child of 8 years old will be able to receive an answer." I paraphrased his words since I don't remember them perfectly. This though, pricks my heart.

I wonder brother, if it is that I have not yet come to the knowledge I need regarding the character of God?

Yet, I believe Joseph Smith prayed many times that he and his family would be kept safe. I bet he prayed many times, that the cup of "martyrdom" would pass over him and that he would be able to raise his children and live a long life with Emma (And his other wives I would imagine).

Yet, the cup, as was His Savior's given, and he freely drank --- but I highly doubt it did not happen without tears, without the potential fear, of the fate of his family when he was gone. Yet, Joseph Smith, a man of mighty faith (definitely more than mine), trusted.

In my experience, and not sure if I am learning it well enough, one of the most important lessons in life we need to learn is simply "Trust."

Maybe you have felt, as I have at times, why pray about this, because if it isn't in God's will --- like me not getting fired --- it won't be answered anyways.

Either way, I do think that I have understood a simple doctrine regarding the character of God, which at times, makes prayer a more difficult task, then talking on a cell phone.

Best ZionsRodeVos!

Edited June 19, 2012 by Anddenex

[bluedreams]

Something that help me have more significant prayer (it's in the bible dictionary): As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are his children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.

Personally, I don't think God answers our prayers and the direct questions immediately or in a language that we're generally used to. I think it entails a lot about learning how the Spirit works in our lives. When I do, I've felt that the Lord does really answer all/most of my sincere prayers. And I think the communication he uses is ingenious, it entails us learning to grow close to the Lord and seeking Him daily to better understand what we need while growing spiritually. Also I don't think he expects us to do all we do on our own, but rather all things with Him.

With luv,

BD

[JesusParadox]

It is important to remember God cares about what is eternally good for us. We on the other hand, get trapped in thinking that only what happens in this world is important. Every prayer answered, rather we like it or not, is what will better us throughout eternity.

[Seminarysnoozer]

My thinking these days is couldn't God have devised a better system for communication between him and us? I mean we have cell phones that seem more reliable than his communication with me.

There are times when I don't even bother to ask him for things since it doesn't seem to help anymore or I'll ask him to bless others since he doesn't seem to be helping me in the areas I feel I need help. And I've heard that you have to do more than ask but do all that you can on your own. Well, there's only so much I can do on my own and that doesn't seem to be enough. And sometimes I just ask for ideas since mine seem to have run out, I feel I get good ideas, but no way to implement them.

Anyone else wonder why prayer doesn't seem so reliable?

What helps for me in reducing some anxiety about some of the issues you raise is to picture being in a final exam and raising your hand in the middle of the test to ask for some assistance from the proctor. Of course, one the questions I wouldn't ask a proctor is 'what is the answer to this question' and if I asked that I wouldn't expect a direct answer. But a useful question for the proctor would be something along the lines of 'help me understand the question a little better'.

Of course, our relationship with God is way different than a student-proctor example (please don't over read the example). I only give that as a way that helps me appreciate the limitations of that communication that are supposed to be there and that would otherwise frustrate the purposes of this life. Part of why we are here is to see if we will do the things God wants us to do without having to be told every step of the way and to do it out of our own passion for goodness and desire to be like Him. In other words, the limitation in communication is supposed to be there for the same reason there is a veil. The veil-less test already took place in the form of the first estate. The second estate test is the veil (limited communication, spiritual death) test.

(BTW, I like Bluedreams answer too.)

[skalenfehl]

Prayer is a beautiful thing when done in the proper spirit based upon our personal relationship with the Lord. If one can say that he or she fasts often while pondering a question and taking it to the Lord in fervent prayer and spending hours on our knees, then I truly believe that one has begun to develop the kind of relationship with the Lord that truly opens doors, where answers come and a veil eventually parts.

[Dove]

For me, I am sooo grateful for the gift of prayer.....Even if I don't get a direct answer, I usually get a wonderful feeling of being loved and that He is aware of me....Oftentimes I do feel I get some sort of an answer, even if it's only a feeling of my heart being softened so I can handle a difficult situation in a more Christlike way. Also, priesthood blessings are a great source of comfort to me.

I've found that God can answer our prayers in myriad ways. I wouldn't limit the way He can answer your prayers.....I remember it being months (something like 6-8) before some of my prayers were answered. This while I was on my mission....

Please don't give up. Trust that God loves you and is aware of every sentence you utter...Have you thought of getting a priesthood blessing for further guidance?

[Sicily510]

1. I kneel to pray ev’ry day.

I speak to Heav’nly Father.

He hears and answers me

When I pray in faith.

2. I begin by saying “Dear Heavenly Father”;

I thank him for blessings he sends;

Then humbly I ask him for things that I need,

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

this songs comes to mind when I think of prayer, and how its influenced me since I was a child.

[Avrham]

The best prayer is the one where I am grateful for whatever the Lord gives me I try too align my prayers with his will my son believes that I am just talking into the air or myself but I know its important too be thankful for whatever goes my why and accept it:)

[applepansy]

Receiving Answers To Our Prayers, by Gene R. Cook

This book is awesome. I have it on CD and have listened to it several times.

ZionsRodeVos, God gave us prayer as a way of communication for two reasons. One way is it strengthens faith and second is to give us a chance to exercise our faith.

Heavenly Father expects us to ask. He will not intervene unless we ask. If he did that would interfere with our agency. Sometimes He can't answer how we would expect or like Him to because it might infringe on someone else's agency.

I can't think of a better way to communicate with Heavenly Father. Learning to listen with my spiritual ears has been and IS strengthening my faith. Can you imagine a phone call to Heavenly Father, or in today's world how about a Skype call? Unless we are truly ready for direct contact with Heavenly Father we could not tolerate his presence even over the phone. I can't even begin to imagine how the Brother of Jared felt.

I have felt frustration with the process sometimes. Especially when I pray about my health issues. I know Heavenly Father could heal me and I often wonder why He doesn't. Either I have more to learn or I can be the tool to help someone else learn. Still... ever day is hard. About 11 or 12 years ago I had been praying continually for an answer to my health issues. I was losing faith. I was angry. I started doubting if God truly loves me. I knew He exists so that wasn't my crisis, I just stopped believing that He loved us or would really help. I got an answer. Not the way I expected and not what I wanted. But... after all these years, it was the answer I needed.

Heavenly Father lives. His Son is Jesus The Christ who lives. Without prayer I wouldn't know. Without prayer I wouldn't have been able to continue to believe.

[Traveler]

I thought I saw one of the posts make a comparison of prayers and cell phones – wishing that prayer worked more like cell phones. I thought about that and for me prayer is very much like my cell phone.

In the early days of cell phones – I disliked the thought of them. I did not like the idea of caring this thing around with me so someone can “call” me any old time. I especially disliked the idea of taking a cell phone with me on a bicycle ride – there are times I do not want to be bothered. Sometimes I think that having a prayer with me is like a cell phone – G-d can answer my prayers (call my spiritual cell phone) at any time – even when I am involved in other things I think important.

Some other things I find similar – I have to regularly charge my cell phone or it quits working – completely and sometimes it goes dead when I need it the most. Sometimes my environment makes it difficult to hear anything on my cell phone – I may have to leave a room where I was having fun with friends just so I can hear my cell phone. I have also discovered “dead zones” where I cannot get my cell phone to work. There are in essence places that my cell phone is worthless. Sometimes I turn my phone off and miss an important call, text or e-mail – darn it. Sometimes I silence my phone and forget to “un-silence” my phone and miss a lot of stuff I shouldn’t – rats!

But then, there are times that my cell phone really comes in handy. Not too long ago I saw a serious accident and called for help on my cell phone. I think my cell phone saved a life. But to be honest sometimes I just use my cell phone to call my wife and remind her I love her – and for Father’s day all my kids in far places called my cell phone to express love – I knew they loved me anyway but it was still nice to hear it on my cell phone.

Yah – I’m thinking prayer is a lot like having a cell phone.

The Traveler

[Jennarator]

This much I know. Without prayer:

My car would always run out of gas before I got to a station.

I would never have a parking spot.

My keys would still be lost.

My kids woulds be sick.

I wouldn't have a job.

I would be lost.

I wouldn't be able to repent.

My RS lessons would really bite.

Oh, the list could go on forever!! I just don't know what I would do without it. Prayer is more important to me than just about anything. I know my prayers are answered because I see them answered all the time.

[ZionsRodeVos]

Thank you everyone who has taken the time to reply!

I must say I was surprised by some of the replies. It never occurred to me that I could possibly rely too much on God. But as I think about it I am trying to do the same thing, help my children learn that they are capable of making decisions on their own without asking me for permission or for guidance although I am ready to offer advice when they want it.

Some of the things I pray for seem to me to be in line with the gospel, such as asking for help in switching my career to one that would allow me to work from home. The reason I ask for this is because I am divorced with custody of my four children and I believe that I could help my children more if I could have more time to raise them and not have to pay for others to watch them and have them pick up attitudes and phrases best not to have nor use. I'm willing to take a dramatic pay cut to be able to work from home but anything I come up with requires time to do and/or money to start up for which I can't do while working full time.

In many aspects of the gospel my faith is strong, but where there is doubt and/or lack of understanding I grow frustrated. I still pray often, in spite of my recent frustrations with prayer. From your replies I see there is so much available for me to study and believe that a focus on that and the nature of God should be of much benefit to me.

[applepansy]

Thank you everyone who has taken the time to reply!

I must say I was surprised by some of the replies. It never occurred to me that I could possibly rely too much on God. But as I think about it I am trying to do the same thing, help my children learn that they are capable of making decisions on their own without asking me for permission or for guidance although I am ready to offer advice when they want it.

Some of the things I pray for seem to me to be in line with the gospel, such as asking for help in switching my career to one that would allow me to work from home. The reason I ask for this is because I am divorced with custody of my four children and I believe that I could help my children more if I could have more time to raise them and not have to pay for others to watch them and have them pick up attitudes and phrases best not to have nor use. I'm willing to take a dramatic pay cut to be able to work from home but anything I come up with requires time to do and/or money to start up for which I can't do while working full time.

In many aspects of the gospel my faith is strong, but where there is doubt and/or lack of understanding I grow frustrated. I still pray often, in spite of my recent frustrations with prayer. From your replies I see there is so much available for me to study and believe that a focus on that and the nature of God should be of much benefit to me.

Its tough being a single parent. I admire your willingness and hard work to raising four children alone.

Praying about "doubt and/or lack of understanding" can be beneficial too.

When I've prayed about a doubt I've usually gotten a tough experience that helped me be closer to Heavenly Father. :)

I hope you'll be able to put the doubts away. Doubts drain me physically not just spiritually or emotionally. I find it best to deal with them head on and get past it as fast as possible.

Best Wishes.

[ZionsRodeVos]

Its tough being a single parent. I admire your willingness and hard work to raising four children alone.

Praying about "doubt and/or lack of understanding" can be beneficial too.

When I've prayed about a doubt I've usually gotten a tough experience that helped me be closer to Heavenly Father. :)

I hope you'll be able to put the doubts away. Doubts drain me physically not just spiritually or emotionally. I find it best to deal with them head on and get past it as fast as possible.

Best Wishes.

My main doubts come from what I perceive as prayers not being answered. Since I still believe God answers all prayers I end up left wondering if I missed the answer or if I just have to be more patient. But my children aren't getting any younger and so this leads to frustration.

Posting this thread is one of my attempts to work through this doubt/frustration by reading what everyone is saying about this. And this has led me to the decision to look in the scriptures for more understanding about prayer and I have made a note of the book someone recommended.

As for tough experiences, I've had plenty of those and to be short on that subject I'll just say that I don't care that great growth comes with tough experiences, it would be real nice in my opinion to go a few years without such experiences so I can see how that feels for once. Probably a bad attitude to have but it is part of mine right now.

[applepansy]

My main doubts come from what I perceive as prayers not being answered. Since I still believe God answers all prayers I end up left wondering if I missed the answer or if I just have to be more patient.

Your comment reminded me of a poem I try to keep in my mind when I get frustrated with my life.

Happiness is like a butterfly.

The more you chase it

the more it will elude you.

But turn your thoughts to other things

and it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

This applies to prayer. Read Gene Cook's book. Being grateful for what we do have, recognizing the blessings we have received ... these are essential for receiving the blessings we are praying to receive.j

But my children aren't getting any younger and so this leads to frustration.

Posting this thread is one of my attempts to work through this doubt/frustration by reading what everyone is saying about this. And this has led me to the decision to look in the scriptures for more understanding about prayer and I have made a note of the book someone recommended.

As for tough experiences, I've had plenty of those and to be short on that subject I'll just say that I don't care that great growth comes with tough experiences, it would be real nice in my opinion to go a few years without such experiences so I can see how that feels for once. Probably a bad attitude to have but it is part of mine right now.

I do understand how frustrating and tiring constant - or what feels like constant - trials and tough experiences can do to a person. I often have to remind myself that nothing is forever. The merry-go-round I'm on really needs to stop for at least one day...pretty please!

It would be wonderful to find work you could do at home. I quit my job when my youngest was a baby and did data entry at home so I could be with my kids more. I was there...sort of. I was always working though... more than I should have. We needed the money so I would take more work. I was often up until very late or up very very early in the morning to finish my work for the day. (There were daily deadlines.) The quality and quantity time didn't work out the way I wanted it to. I take full responsibility for that.

I've looked into jobs at home. Some bloggers are making a lot of money through advertisers. The amount you can make is based on how many people follow your blog. Then links to the advertisers are on your blog page. I might do this some day when the risk of adverse consequences to my grandson are reduced. Maybe blogging is something you might enjoy? I haven't found anything else that makes sense for me. Other ways of working from home is hard to get started. If you find something easier to start, let me know.

Try to not get stuck on the negative aspects of working outside the home while your kids are growing. It really doesn't help. Instead make the most of every moment and find the little pieces of joy along the way.

Our attitude is just as important as faith in receiving the blessings we pray for.

I wish you all the best.

[HEthePrimate]

I'm wondering if anyone else feels the way I do about prayer.

I've often heard that God answers every prayer even though he may not answer immediately nor the way we want him to. I still believe this, but it is so frustrating not knowing if I've received an answer or not to important prayers or the wondering if I missed the answer.

Prayer works wonderfully when I understand the answer, even if it is not what I wanted to hear and things don't go the way I asked for. I've had prayers answered in seconds and others that have taken longer for me to realize I got the answer.

My thinking these days is couldn't God have devised a better system for communication between him and us? I mean we have cell phones that seem more reliable than his communication with me.

There are times when I don't even bother to ask him for things since it doesn't seem to help anymore or I'll ask him to bless others since he doesn't seem to be helping me in the areas I feel I need help. And I've heard that you have to do more than ask but do all that you can on your own. Well, there's only so much I can do on my own and that doesn't seem to be enough. And sometimes I just ask for ideas since mine seem to have run out, I feel I get good ideas, but no way to implement them.

Anyone else wonder why prayer doesn't seem so reliable?

How reliable prayer is for me depends on what I'm trying to accomplish with it. If I'm asking questions, or seeking guidance, and expecting direct answers, it's not very effective. If I'm asking for specific blessings and expect to get exactly what I ask for, it's not very effective. But if I pray to express gratitude, to feel a spiritual connection with the universe, or to get something off my chest, it is quite effective.

Yes, it often feels like one-way communication. But maybe two-way communication is not the point.

Though if God decides step in from time to time and actually answer, I'm not going to try limiting his ability to do so!

But I think generally speaking, God takes a hands-off approach because the point of this mortal probation is to let us act on our own without his constant supervision or intervention.

Edited June 20, 2012 by HEthePrimate