apricots Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 Firstly, please excuse me if this is in the wrong section, there were at least 3 sections that sort of applied to this... Anyway. I have a lot of non-member friends. And they INSIST that if you consider dating a girl, or thinking about a girl in general it HAS to be sexual. For example! I asked them if kissing a girl on the hand would be considered cute? The girl I was talking about happened to be in her teens while I had just turned 18. I was immediately called a "pedo" and "total pervert". Is kissing a girl on the hand really a suggestive thing? Another thing I'm asking them about is how to "flirt" since this girl I like likes to "flirt" with guys. She is a member btw. I told them I thought flirting was about making each other feel good about themselves and just kind of complementing each other in a cute way. But they insisted that flirting was just for the purpose of "getting laid", and that if she wants to flirt it's just because she wants to have intercourse. Is this true? And yet another thing I asked them is about dating in general. I said that I wanted to date to get to know girls better, find out how to treat them, how to talk to them, etc. But they yet again insisted that dating was for the sole purpose of having a one night stand. And that I'll have a hard time finding someone who doesn't want to do that "and if I do, she probably won't be a very good looking girl". Coming from an LDS point of view I find this outrageous and insulting to women and humanity in general. How could they? Or are they right? Please let me know what you think... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Doctrine Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 its all perspective. when you go looking for something your very likrly going to find it. in the words of nepolian dynamite "what i would give to take her on a honey moon". I myself belive you need to find a mate that has 3 things that you need 1 atractive - are you atractied to them, 2 mental - do you have the same idea of what you want in life, like goals, 3 spirital- do you have the same love for god. I have a bunch of non- lds friends that all want one thing, to add a new notch to their belt, but when they see my wife and my happy life they want what i have. a marriage of love and respect. be the example, show them what true happness is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 I think you need some new friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 What ever happens dont let them erase the romantic out of your life because good women are going to appreciate it. I bet even 'bad' ones will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 I think your friends are an example of what happens to attitudes when the natural man wins. With so much disrespect for women, it's not surprising to me that women forget who they are in favor of just being what the natural man wants. It's all a very sad commentary on what we are losing as a culture. Thank goodness for the spirit that helps us retain clarity about things as they really are. You hang on to that purity of thought, Setholsen! It makes you a man amongst people pretending to be men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 Is it true? No, it's not true. And you best avoid friends and girls who think it is. You want to date those who think about dating like you do. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 Too bad my daughter is almost 23. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apricots Posted July 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 THANK YOU, you're the only ones that have mentioned to me that that was wrong. It was starting to get pretty difficult there for a second... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightSG Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) Another thing I'm asking them about is how to "flirt" since this girl I like likes to "flirt" with guys. She is a member btw. I told them I thought flirting was about making each other feel good about themselves and just kind of complementing each other in a cute way. But they insisted that flirting was just for the purpose of "getting laid", and that if she wants to flirt it's just because she wants to have intercourse. Is this true?Speaking as a fairly recent convert, (at 35) who spent a lot of my younger years on flirting and flirting to get laid, it can be a path to copulation, but often the only reward I'm after is a smile from a woman who has a pretty smile, a bit more of her time and maybe a good night kiss.There's usually not even a thought toward a second date (and sometimes not even a first) during the basic flirting, but of course, what happens as a result of it may determine a new course.Sometimes, I just get a kick out of being romantic purely for the sake of making sure the next guy who wants to take her out will have to work for the privilege. Edited July 1, 2012 by NightSG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted July 2, 2012 Report Share Posted July 2, 2012 You mentioned in another thread that you're not active in the LDS Church at the moment. I applaud your desire to have friendly, even romantic, but not sexual relationships with girls/women. Your friends' assessments are accurate, for some people. For other people, they are grossly immature and inappropriate.Which choice you make depends on what you want out of life: a series of physically fun and fulfilling, but spiritually and emotionally vacuous experiences; or taking the long road to a relationship that will eventually bring you lifelong (and perhaps longer) happiness? Do you want to treat women with respect and be respected by them, or use them and allow yourself to be used as well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apricots Posted July 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2012 You mentioned in another thread that you're not active in the LDS Church at the moment. I applaud your desire to have friendly, even romantic, but not sexual relationships with girls/women. Your friends' assessments are accurate, for some people. For other people, they are grossly immature and inappropriate.Which choice you make depends on what you want out of life: a series of physically fun and fulfilling, but spiritually and emotionally vacuous experiences; or taking the long road to a relationship that will eventually bring you lifelong (and perhaps longer) happiness? Do you want to treat women with respect and be respected by them, or use them and allow yourself to be used as well?Exactly.And yeah I get that a lot from my priest quorum leader, he's kind of stunned I've shown up for every single meeting, event, clean up, and service project for three years straight. Where as most of the active kids just try to go to the fun stuff. But I get a LOT of satisfaction from being the best I can and helping as many people as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted July 6, 2012 Report Share Posted July 6, 2012 It's a false notion. To add. The majority of young people (teens especially) are not looking to settle down. So let's be real about this too, in the age range you're referring to (15-18), yes a lot of people in that group are just looking for a good time. I know I was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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