I feel im being abused?


dogemily
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ok here it is. first my mom never hits me. me and my bother got into a fight at mcdonalds we threw ketchup on each other.im older im 15 he is 13. i got some ketchup on some woman clothes and my mom had to reinburst 45 dollars for the damage. my mom freak out on me told me i was a immature baby and my brother to in front of people in mcdonlads. Leaving mcdonalds she told us that she should get us some pacifers and some pampers and a playpen. people were looking at me. like she was right. she took away my x box and games and i pod i cant go out on weekends now. on the car ride home she is yelling at us telling us when she goes to wallmart she should buy us a cribs and rattles

Can i turn her into CPS for abuse saying those things to me? isnt it slander or something saying lies about someone. saying i need pampers and making me look bad in public. just to scare her and For the record he started it my brother not me. its not fair now she is not going to let me take drivers ed in school. she told me that im to imature to drive that babies dont get to do grown up things. she saying all these mean things to me. I have a right to drive? cant they make her a better mom or something. this suxs so bad wut she did to me.

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ok here it is. first my mom never hits me. me and my bother got into a fight at mcdonalds we threw ketchup on each other.im older im 15 he is 13. i got some ketchup on some woman clothes and my mom had to reinburst 45 dollars for the damage. my mom freak out on me told me i was a immature baby and my brother to in front of people in mcdonlads. Leaving mcdonalds she told us that she should get us some pacifers and some pampers and a playpen. people were looking at me. like she was right. she took away my x box and games and i pod i cant go out on weekends now. on the car ride home she is yelling at us telling us when she goes to wallmart she should buy us a cribs and rattles

Can i turn her into CPS for abuse saying those things to me? isnt it slander or something saying lies about someone. saying i need pampers and making me look bad in public. just to scare her and For the record he started it my brother not me. its not fair now she is not going to let me take drivers ed in school. she told me that im to imature to drive that babies dont get to do grown up things. she saying all these mean things to me. I have a right to drive? cant they make her a better mom or something. this suxs so bad wut she did to me.

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Doesn't sound like abuse to me unless it's part of some systematic occurrence to break you down. Sounds like she lost her cool, which ideally she shouldn't have done but I can understand being mad at a 13 and a 15 year old starting a ketchup fight in a public place. Your behavior was immature as described.

And some things in particular stand out:

she took away my x box and games and i pod i cant go out on weekends now.

Not abuse.

its not fair now she is not going to let me take drivers ed in school.

Not abuse.

I have a right to drive?

No you do not. You're sounding every inch the teen you are. It sounds less that you're scared of your Mother and need to be protected from her but that you're mad at her and want to get even because she embarrassed you and punished you.

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Just one thing in your thinking. U do not have a right to drive. That is simply a privilege. Check your thought process from outside yourself like you are doing on this site. Good for you. I said one but I said it so you can hear.

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Doesn't sound like abuse to me unless it's part of some systematic occurrence to break you down. Sounds like she lost her cool, which ideally she shouldn't have done but I can understand being mad at a 13 and a 15 year old starting a ketchup fight in a public place. Your behavior was immature as described.

And some things in particular stand out:

Not abuse.

Not abuse.

No you do not. You're sounding every inch the teen you are. It sounds less that you're scared of your Mother and need to be protected from her but that you're mad at her and want to get even because she embarrassed you and punished you.

what about the names she calls me

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Just one thing in your thinking. U do not have a right to drive. That is simply a privilege. Check your thought process from outside yourself like you are doing on this site. Good for you. I said one but I said it so you can hear.

all my friends will be driving but me

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What she said wasn't right. Hopefully she regrets it. Is it a pattern? I doubt CPS would "scare" her for losing her cool one time. If she does it regularly you might ask for family counseling or something, but calling the authorities to scare her isn't going to help anyone. What if they decided she was abusive? Do you have any idea what would happen to you? You could be temporarily or permanently taken to a foster home that could quite possibly be much, much worse than the home you're in now. Be careful making accusations. You must be completely honest about what happens and at what frequency.

Also, please take responsibility for your part in it. You are much too old to behave that way in public. I would be horrified if my 4-year-old threw ketchup at her siblings or anyone anywhere, let alone a public place. If my oldest did, I would be very, very upset. Hopefully I wouldn't carry on like your mother did, but I certainly understand why she was angry and embarrassed.

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What she said wasn't right. Hopefully she regrets it. Is it a pattern? I doubt CPS would "scare" her for losing her cool one time. If she does it regularly you might ask for family counseling or something, but calling the authorities to scare her isn't going to help anyone. What if they decided she was abusive? Do you have any idea what would happen to you? You could be temporarily or permanently taken to a foster home that could quite possibly be much, much worse than the home you're in now. Be careful making accusations. You must be completely honest about what happens and at what frequency.

Also, please take responsibility for your part in it. You are much too old to behave that way in public. I would be horrified if my 4-year-old threw ketchup at her siblings or anyone anywhere, let alone a public place. If my oldest did, I would be very, very upset. Hopefully I wouldn't carry on like your mother did, but I certainly understand why she was angry and embarrassed.

MY MOM JUST DIDNT CALL ME A BABY BUT TOLD ME I BELONG IN PAMPERS AGAIN look people heard her call me a baby in mcdonalds and tell me that she was going to get me diapers and a crib for what i did. i have witnessess dont you think that would help with soical servcies. its not fair it was only ketchup the people in front of us were old like in 60s they wouldnt even know it was on there clothes if my mom didnt say anything.no one got hurt. i dont want to sound like a whinny baby cause im not . she had to pay 45 bucks for the clothes i ruined but that was her choice. what gets me NO OTHER MOM WOULD TELL ME THAT I SHOULD BE IN DIAPERS AND NEED A BOTTLE ONLY MINE DOES THAT. thats how un cool she is.. IT WAS ONLY MCDONALDS NO PLACE FANCY AND IT WAS KETCHUP. her telling everyone im a baby and stuff was foul and abunch of lies. like i said she took away my x box and games and I pod. she wont let me take drivers ed in school saying im to immature to drive.

on the car ride home she is screaming and me and my brother. telling us we made her look bad as a parent that we behaved like a bunch of toddlers. God hates me thats what it is.

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You behaved badly. She said some stuff that was rude. Social Services has much worse to deal with. Grow up, apologize to your mom, let her know she hurt your feelings, and learn from it. Obviously people know you're not a baby who needs pampers. But whether you're in a fancy place or McDonald's, it is childish and inappropriate to throw food around and get it on other people. I think you know this. Sixty isn't very old. . . not sure what your point is there. Whether someone knew they had ketchup on them or not doesn't make it okay. Obviously the lady whose shirt you ruined knew.

God doesn't hate you. It feels bad when your mom is mad. She lost her temper. That's her mistake. I'm not sure what that has to do with God hating you.

You will be much happier when you can own your behavior and learn from it. Your reaction says a lot about the situation, frankly.

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You behaved badly. She said some stuff that was rude. Social Services has much worse to deal with. Grow up, apologize to your mom, let her know she hurt your feelings, and learn from it. Obviously people know you're not a baby who needs pampers. But whether you're in a fancy place or McDonald's, it is childish and inappropriate to throw food around and get it on other people. I think you know this. Sixty isn't very old. . . not sure what your point is there. Whether someone knew they had ketchup on them or not doesn't make it okay. Obviously the lady whose shirt you ruined knew.

God doesn't hate you. It feels bad when your mom is mad. She lost her temper. That's her mistake. I'm not sure what that has to do with God hating you.

You will be much happier when you can own your behavior and learn from it. Your reaction says a lot about the situation, frankly.

but why do you think my mom told everyone that i do need pampers and other stuff..why?

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It won't be because of your mom, it will be because of you. Behavior has consequences. If you aren't behaving in a way that shows the maturity needed to drive, you shouldn't be driving.

If your friends care whether you're driving or not, they're not good friends.

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what about the names she calls me

Is it systematic and designed to break you down emotionally? Yes parents generally are able to refrain from name-calling, so it stands out more when they do, but they can lose their temper as well.

Let's do a hypothetical, lets say you were the one who lost your temper and called your 13 year old brother a baby, and that he should get a crib and a pacifier. Would it be abuse? There are a lot of unknowns about just how things went down, constant raging out by your Mom and constant name calling causing emotional harm could possibly be abusive, losing her temper every once in a while and raising her voice and giving some public castigation not so much.

Do you feel you have to be protected from your Mom? Not, "I wish Mom hadn't embarrassed me" but "I fear for my emotional or physical safety because of my Mom." Keep in mind that she's fully within her rights to deny you privileges for your poor behavior. So what if Mom had only vented as she did, would you still be pondering if you can sic CPS on her? Like I said, it's possible what you describe could be part of an abusive pattern but I have to confess I'm cynical enough about teen drama that I'm picturing your Mom loosing her temper and you being mad that she embarrassed you rather than your Mom being an emotionally destructive raging personality that you need protection from.

Before you call CPS try this, apologize for your behavior and explain to her that while you understand your behavior was poor and that you did act immaturely that you understand she's within her rights to restrict or remove privileges but that her calling you names in public and yelling at you in the car felt like it was going to far. See if a conversation, and hopefully an apology from her develops and reevaluate your thoughts on the situation.

Edited by Dravin
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Is it systematic and designed to break you down emotionally? Yes parents generally are able to refrain from name-calling, so it stands out more when they do, but they can lose their temper as well.

Let's do a hypothetical, lets say you were the one who lost your temper and called your 13 year old brother a baby, and that he should get a crib and a pacifier. Would it be abuse? There are a lot of unknowns about just how things went down, constant raging out by your Mom and constant name calling causing emotional harm could possibly be abusive, losing her temper every once in a while and raising her voice and giving some public castigation not so much.

Do you feel you have to be protected from your Mom? Not, "I wish Mom hadn't embarrassed me" but "I fear for my emotional or physical safety because of my Mom." Keep in mind that she's fully within her rights to deny you privileges for your poor behavior. So what if Mom had only vented as she did, would you still be pondering if you can sic CPS on her? Like I said, it's possible what you describe could be part of an abusive pattern but I have to confess I'my cynical enough about teen drama that I'm picturing your Mom loosing your temper and you being mad that she embarrassed you rather than your Mom being and emotionally destructive raging personality that you need protection from.

Before you call CPS try this, apologize for your behavior and explain to her that while you understand your behavior was poor and that you did act immaturely that you understand she's within her rights to restrict or remove privileged but that her calling you names in public and yelling at you in the car felt like it was going to far. See if a conversation, and hopefully an apology from her develops and reevaluate your thoughts on the situation.

my mom never hits me

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MY MOM JUST DIDNT CALL ME A BABY BUT TOLD ME I BELONG IN PAMPERS AGAIN look people heard her call me a baby in mcdonalds and tell me that she was going to get me diapers and a crib for what i did.

I realize you are a teen, and public embarrassment feels like a weapon of mass destruction to you, but Eowyn (and I) did address her calling you a baby, by saying she shouldn't have lost her cool. We're not ignoring it, we're just coming from a different place.

Also realize that using all caps online is considered yelling.

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my mom never hits me

Can I take that as you don't feel you need protection from your mother? The more you share the more it sounds like a one time (or rather not systematic) loss of her cool. So if you don't need protection why do you want to call CPS? You say to scare her, which reads an awful lot like, "I wanna get even." but I could be reading you wrong. If so, please, calmly (which means no yelling) explain why

I take it this just happened due to the emotional turmoil you're in at the moment (I'm deducing that from the 'yelling')? Might I suggest no matter what you might decide you want to do that you sleep on things and apologize for your behavior (which isn't contingent on her apologizing for her behavior or your brother for his) before you do anything else.

Edited by Dravin
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i know people are probably laughing at me on here about my mom saying i need pampers back on me...

I don't think anyone is laughing at you, you're just talking to people who are able to look back at their teenage years and see them in a different light. We're also not emotionally involved so that also changes our perspective.

im sorry she hurt my feelings.

I'm unsure how to parse this. You don't need to be sorry that her outburst hurt your feelings. That's perfectly understandable and human. On the other hand phrases like these, in my experience, are generally a sarcastic/passive-aggressive side-step for what ever responsibility we may have in a situation. And no, your responsibility in the situation does not justify your Mother's/Step-Mom's/However you want to characterize the relationship's yelling and calling you names. It does justify a loss of privileges though, and I know when I was your age I'd be inclined to see the whole kit and kaboodle to be unjustified.

Edited by Dravin
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ok here it is. first my mom never hits me. me and my bother got into a fight at mcdonalds we threw ketchup on each other.im older im 15 he is 13. i got some ketchup on some woman clothes and my mom had to reinburst 45 dollars for the damage. my mom freak out on me told me i was a immature baby and my brother to in front of people in mcdonlads. Leaving mcdonalds she told us that she should get us some pacifers and some pampers and a playpen. people were looking at me. like she was right. she took away my x box and games and i pod i cant go out on weekends now. on the car ride home she is yelling at us telling us when she goes to wallmart she should buy us a cribs and rattles

Can i turn her into CPS for abuse saying those things to me? isnt it slander or something saying lies about someone. saying i need pampers and making me look bad in public. just to scare her and For the record he started it my brother not me. its not fair now she is not going to let me take drivers ed in school. she told me that im to imature to drive that babies dont get to do grown up things. she saying all these mean things to me. I have a right to drive? cant they make her a better mom or something. this suxs so bad wut she did to me.

Please tell me you are joking. Calling CPS could ruin her life, and yours. It would be an exceptionally hateful and stupid thing to do.

Emily, the fact is that you messed up badly. Maybe your mother should not have said such things about you. So what? That's her problem, not yours. YOUR problem is behaving in public as you did.

Quit trying to get even with your mother. Apologize to her for your irresponsible actions and how you embarrassed her in public. Don't look for her to apologize to you. Accept the blame like an adult.

If you can't accept the blame like an adult, you have no business driving, because driving is an ADULT activity. You take other people's lives into your hands. If you can't even be responsible enough to admit you screwed up and apologize to your mother for it, you should not ever possibly be behind the wheel of a car.

Not trying to be harsh, Emily. In ten years, you will look back and be deeply embarrassed -- not because your mother said something about diapers and pacifiers, but because you acted really badly and embarrassed her. The sooner you can reach that level of maturity, the sooner you can join the adult community in enjoying adult privileges like driving.

And shame on you for even suggesting calling CPS. Bite your tongue. Never again say such a thing. That's really, really, REALLY awful.

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Please tell me you are joking. Calling CPS could ruin her life, and yours. It would be an exceptionally hateful and stupid thing to do.

Emily, the fact is that you messed up badly. Maybe your mother should not have said such things about you. So what? That's her problem, not yours. YOUR problem is behaving in public as you did.

Quit trying to get even with your mother. Apologize to her for your irresponsible actions and how you embarrassed her in public. Don't look for her to apologize to you. Accept the blame like an adult.

If you can't accept the blame like an adult, you have no business driving, because driving is an ADULT activity. You take other people's lives into your hands. If you can't even be responsible enough to admit you screwed up and apologize to your mother for it, you should not ever possibly be behind the wheel of a car.

Not trying to be harsh, Emily. In ten years, you will look back and be deeply embarrassed -- not because your mother said something about diapers and pacifiers, but because you acted really badly and embarrassed her. The sooner you can reach that level of maturity, the sooner you can join the adult community in enjoying adult privileges like driving.

And shame on you for even suggesting calling CPS. Bite your tongue. Never again say such a thing. That's really, really, REALLY awful.

MY MOM JUST DIDNT CALL ME A BABY BUT TOLD ME I BELONG IN PAMPERS AGAIN look people heard her call me a baby in mcdonalds and tell me that she was going to get me diapers and a crib for what i did. i have witnessess dont you think that would help with soical servcies. its not fair it was only ketchup the people in front of us were old like in 60s they wouldnt even know it was on there clothes if my mom didnt say anything.no one got hurt. i dont want to sound like a whinny baby cause im not . she had to pay 45 bucks for the clothes i ruined but that was her choice. what gets me NO OTHER MOM WOULD TELL ME THAT I SHOULD BE IN DIAPERS AND NEED A BOTTLE ONLY MINE DOES THAT. thats how un cool she is.. IT WAS ONLY MCDONALDS NO PLACE FANCY AND IT WAS KETCHUP. her telling everyone im a baby and stuff was foul and abunch of lies. like i said she took away my x box and games and I pod. she wont let me take drivers ed in school saying im to immature to drive.

on the car ride home she is screaming and me and my brother. telling us we made her look bad as a parent that we behaved like a bunch of toddlers.

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