Need help


dart48
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Ok, so im 16 and have a pornography/masturbation problem. It started when I was about 12, one day it just started and it was before I had really learned how bad it is. Since then, I've been too ashamed ot confess it. I am still fully active in the church and have a testimony, I just feel I need to get past this addiction. What do I need to do? I want to cenfess it to my bishop(is that needed?), but im too afraid to, and I dont know what he will do about it. Like any sort of punishment? I really need help, any advice would be greatly appriciated.

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I was in a similar situation; to be honest, I still struggle with these at times (and I'm 24 now). There's a good chance you will continue to be tempted with this throughout the years, more or less, but if you do things right, you won't need to worry either way.

First, confess to your Bishop, and follow his counsel. I truly understand the fear you feel, but trust me, you'll feel better once you do it. Also, if you haven't done so already, confess to Heavenly Father through prayer. He already knows your sins, but doing this is an act of faith, for which you will be blessed. Your Bishop won't punish you, meaning he won't hold a Church Disciplinary Council with you, but he might ask that you refrain from blessing and/or taking the Sacrament for a while.

Also, if you have a very strong, close relationship with your parents, you may consider sharing your problem with them. They will help you. If not, or if you're uncertain, just stick with confessing to your Bishop.

One more thing that I suggest you do (and everyone should be doing this) is to read from The Book of Mormon daily, at least 30 minutes or so, or by chapter. Do this no matter what else you do that day/night. Temptations will no longer seem so tempting after a while, and you will learn true doctrine on how to repent, as well as other gospel principles. You will naturally come closer to God in thought, word, and deed.

There are many other specific resources for help with these problems, both Church official and otherwise, though I admit I'm not too familiar with them.

Good luck!

Edited by mtman318
Clarification in 2nd to last paragraph
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What I love is that you are catching this at such a young age. And I know it's scary to talk about these things with other people....especially the bishop. I remember being afraid to talk to the bishop about my own issues when I was younger. I think a lot of people feel like that.

What I have learned is that talking to the bishop is never as scary as I think it will be. In general, I leave feeling so much better about things and certainly more hope. Also, having issues with porn/mb is so common for young men (and some young women too.) This isn't something to be afraid of or ashamed about. It just means you are a little stuck. So, my hope is that you'll talk to someone about it.

I don't know what kind of parents you have or if the relationship is a safe one, but in general I might advise starting there. And then certainly talking to your bishop can help. The church has such a great way to help with these problems. Most people I know who struggle with this problem use a combination of church support and therapeutic support. They might attend a church 12 step group, for example, or perhaps get involved with a therapist or a SA recovery program such as CANDEO or LIFESTAR or INNERGOLD. All have a slightly different approach, but all report good success in helping people.

Best wishes. So impressed that you are seeking help early.

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Thanks for the advice! We are just changing bishops so I will set up an appointment with the new one and I'll talk to him. I know he will want to help me, I just have to set it up. Wish me luck!

Timpman-It really just varies, I've had the problem for a while and have been trying to break it for quite some time also. At bad points, daily, or sometimes weeks between at my better attempts of breaking it.

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