Hit A Deer Lately, I Have A ?

[Winnie G]

I live on the Canadian prairie.

The joke is “Dame Girl you could see your dog run away for days”!

There is wonderful things about the prairie, the way the grain looks like a golden sea when the wind blows. The smell of fresh cut crops, cattle for miles that some how always see the grass on the other side of the fence as worth checking out, wile they rub their chins on the wire fence as you drive by.

However, there is one thing that people who live here warn you about but never quite describe it in any details.

It is the herds of wild deer that always roam at night across roads.

After while you gain a keen eye for that white glint of their eyes on the side of the road so you can stomp on your brakes in hope of missing them.

We came across one such herd tonight just after it went from dusk to Black.

It gets dark fast here in winter.

Out of no were the road in front of us was filled with deer!

OH it gets better it is Rutting season so a large Buck was leading the herd.

My husband hit the brakes but there was so many we took out the large buck and a few Does. By the time the car stopped, it was over deer every were!

From our sets the car it did not look to bad I noticed the trailer mirror was shattered.

We sat for a few minutes to get our bearings when I noticed a smell. I looked at my husband and said “Are you alright”? He said “Yes why”? I said “I smell C%$P”???

We opened the doors to get out and OH MY GOSH! The car was not only damaged 10 days before we are to move it was covered with deer Brownies! All down the front hood and side of the car the broken head light tires you did not need to see it you could smell it.

We may have killed a few but we scared the rest out of their minds and they shared their Joy with us. The car was drivable so we made it home. I went next door to ask if they could turn their front and back door porch lights on (we share a driveway) and I had the privilege of washing my car. My husband was not well, so I put him on the couch and I went out to do the deed.

I gagged my way though it and I’m not a gagger.

I going to ask every one who has ever hit and killed a deer, why they never tell anyone that detail? I should have turned around went back in to town and ran it though a car wash!

I called a good friend and told her what happened and she said “Winnie did you call it in”? “Call what in? “The deer’s in case some are hurt and on the side of the road???

I said, “I did not know you have to call it in? And besides we hit them doing 95Km we took no prisoners”! “If we left spectators Their out buying Depends”!

“There was C%@P all over my car”!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My son called and after he asked if we were OK and I told him the rest of the story he started to laugh until he hiccupped. It was my frequent use of the word C%#P that got him going. I said “Its not funny my car is covered in C%#P! DEER C%#P!

“I don’t think all four of you kids put together that much C%#P in to your dippers.

By this point his hiccupping turned to giggling and he said “you could change the color of your car”. “It’s a silver Sports car the only part of the car that did not get it was the spoiler on the back”! I think at that point he realized the sports car I always wanted, always took the back set to station wagons and mini vans.

FINLY in my late forty’s I get my car and deer’s not only break it but C%#P on it!

Life is just not fair.

[Latter Days Guy]

So what happened to the dead deer? Did you have to contact anyone about getting the mess cleaned up, do you get to keep the dead deer and make deer burgers out of it?

[angelbaby]

Good grief. I just laughed harder than i have in ages. My kids & hubby are asleep in bed and it was all i could do not to bust out laughing out loud. I poor girl i do feel sorry for the mess, but that is a classic story.

[StrawberryFields]

Winnie can tell a story like NO OTHER!!!

[Winnie G]

We called the RCMP this morning and no; we do not get the deer burgers.

I do not think I will ever eat venison again.

Friends drove out from town to visit last night and I warned them about the deer’s but they did not notice any on the road.

Dead deer on the side of the road here is an every day assurance here.

The coyotes take care of them most of the time but there are, always ones like ours that must look like Slotted House Five!

Last year there was a frozen deer off the road that the snowmobile nuts kept moving around. It died looking like it was still running, a small doe. They stood it up and put mittens on its ears and kept moving it around, up and down the road. It looked like it was dancing or hitchhiking you name it.

I took a photo of it and sent it in to David Lettermen telling him “You think its cold there”? Finley after a week Fish and game picked it up. I was amazed the nuts did not dress it up even more.

Today is my husband’s retirement parade and luncheon the one I wrote about this summer. I am receiving a plaque from the Prim Minister for my years of civilian service to the military and their families. My husband is receiving a few awards as well.

I just hope I cleaned off the car well enough to get in to the car with out dragging my skirt in any deer brownies I missed. I am NOT washing it by hand any more! Car wash!

I do not care the front is munched I am not doing that again!

[Dr T]

My wife has hit two deer in her life (or as she says-they hit her). The first time she cried for the deer. The second, she cried for her car. I was reading something the other day that talked about Deer vs. Car collisions costing over a billion dollars a year.

[Ray]

Great story, Winnie. Thanks for sharing. :)

And you wouldn't want to eat that meat anyway. The (you know what) and the smell of it gets "blended" with the taste of the meat. But from my back porch I can get em when they come for our garden.

[Winnie G]

We drove to the RCMP office to report the accident and there was the smell.

I did not get it all so we went to the car wash with the power hose.

My hubby popped the hood what’s left of it and OH MY GOSH!

Well lets just say both of us were gagging. It still did not get it all so now we drive with two pine tree air fresheners up on the defrost vent full blast, Oh-da LaLa Caca.

It should be gone when all the parts are replaced ¼ panel hood bumper lights…….