Not sure if it's a sign from God or not

[Chrissy3818]

IN reply to Onhech: No, you helped me. My mom basically said the same thing except that my father would beat the boy if we got back together... She said no one is "The ONe" and many people could be the one.

[Chrissy3818]

She also said that these feelings that "he's still the one" are just left over romantic feeling and they'll go away when I find someone new.

[Eleven]

Thats exactly right Chrissy. I just barely got off my mission and dated a girl beforehand for 5+ years. It was SO tough letting that one go.

Trust me, some point your going to take a step out of your heart and realize he's just a boy. Honestly, Ive heard a lot of girls nowadays dont want to marry boys their age, they want to marry those who are getting back right when the boys they grew up with are going to.

Anyways, Im just a guy, and could be entirely wrong.

But whatever the case is, DONT waste two years of your life, no matter if this guy is right or not. Date for two years and accomplish a lot of self defining. If all that dating did you nothing but self mastery and figuring out what you really want, Look what you lost! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! You've only gained a better understanding of what kind of guy you really want, what really attracts you and what really urks you lol.

Its a win win situation

[Chrissy3818]

In reply to Eleven: Wow, that's a long time to date just one girl in the teenage years. No your not entirely wrong, in fact I think I'll probably marry someone 2-4 years older than me. Did you end up marrying her or go your separate ways?

I personally don't think he's the right guy for me after all the feelings of "Weirdness and what not" happened, I was just confused about why I was getting the feeling that I was going to marry him after, I began refusing to marry him. But, my mom reassuring me that those we just left over romantic feeling or from "other" influences and they will go away over time and once I find another guy. I think she is right. He's not the right one for me and I'll find the right one, once I head off to college.

[alucarD1975]

My advice.... It's not a sign from either God or Satan and your to young to even think about marriage. Go to college get educated, be selective. DATE a lot!!!!!! A lot of diffrent guys.

There are many "right" ones out there for you, as you date your feelings for this guy will go away, when you do decide to get married or think that you are ready only date guys that are also ready to be married. For my daughter this would mean a guy who is strong in the church, comes from a good background, has graduated college and has a JOB!!!!!!!

Talk about kids and decide how many and when you want to have them before you even get engaged. Discuss you family medical histories and anything else you think might be relevant to a future together. Don't ignore red flags!!!!!!!

If his best friend is a girl that's a red flag, if your the only girl he has ever kissed that's a red flag, if he still lives at home with mommy thats another one, if he cant show you the respect of asking you father for his permission to marry you thats a red flag, and if he acts like Peter priesthood 24/7 that's a red flag.

The list goes on and on but remember you are planning to spend eternity with guy.

[Chrissy3818]

Don't ignore red flags!!!!!!!

If his best friend is a girl that's a red flag, if your the only girl he has ever kissed that's a red flag, if he still lives at home with mommy thats another one, if he cant show you the respect of asking you father for his permission to marry you thats a red flag, and if he acts like Peter priesthood 24/7 that's a red flag.

The list goes on and on but remember you are planning to spend eternity with guy.

Wow, almost all of those flags pop up, LOL. For example these are the ones that popped up

1. If his best friend is a girl that's a red flag,

2. if your the only girl he has ever kissed that's a red flag (I was the second, but his first was his best friend)

3. if he still lives at home with mommy thats another one (he was 18 but he could have gone to college for a year, must guys I know who have a year before their mission go to college for that year and then head off to do their mission).

And your like my father, my father would (probably do whatever protective fathers do when boys like him hurt their little girl) when he comes back and tries to get back into my life. (If he does)

[Vort]

If his best friend is a girl that's a red flag,

Why?

if your the only girl he has ever kissed that's a red flag,

Why?

if he still lives at home with mommy thats another one,

That one I get.

if he cant show you the respect of asking you father for his permission to marry you thats a red flag,

Not everyone sees it as a sign of respect to the young woman. For example, I don't.

and if he acts like Peter priesthood 24/7 that's a red flag.

I seriously do not get this one at all. Is there something wrong with "Peter Priesthood"? Should a guy be "letting his hair down", getting drunk, and feeling up his girlfriend occasionally? Maybe a little light vandalism now and then?

[alucarD1975]

If his best friend is a fit that's a red flag because guys and girls can't be friends.

If your the only girl he has kissed that's a red flag because he obviously has not dated enough ( come on a 16-25yo guy who has never kissed another girl) its just wierd

A guy asking you father for your hand, well maybe im just old fashioned he should respect you and be willing to prove that he can provide for you to the people that matter most to you

Peter priesthood is not a real person and anyone who acts like that is either hiding something or has some serious issues, look I'm not saying rob a bank or kick a dog, but don't cruise around acting like your poop don't stink..... It's annoying and fake

[Chrissy3818]

the guy I was dating (him) was too involved with his best friend (the girl) and he actually kissed her once. He told her he loved and she rejected him, but that didn't stop him. If he had the chance to marry her he would jump on it. I feel bad for any other girl he dates that isn't his best friend. He needs to get over her and maybe or maybe he won't when she gets married. Honestly I hope they get married, if she would just have a change of heart and love him back he would probably propose right of the bat of getting of his mission...

[nellyleyva92]

Stupor of thoughts, right? Doesn't that mean NO?!?!

When I met this guy I was so excited and I felt he would be my boyfriend. But in our first date I felt sooooo bad. Like it was all wrong and that I should stop it. I was going to tell him that we should be friends. Then I saw him at the Institute and he was looking so handsome that I decided that I was wrong.

So we went on our second date and I felt it was wrong again. But why? He was cute, he was loving, he was a seminary teacher, everyone had a good opinion of him. Why did I feel it was wrong if the first time we met I felt he was going to be my boyfriend? When he asked me to be his girlfriend I felt so nervous, I didn't feel good. I prayed about it and the answer was no, days later I prayed again and the answer was No. I thought I was just afraid about my first serious relationship, so I prayed again and the answer was something like: "Ok, go ahead then".

I told him I would be his girlfriend thinking that I could break up with him one month later if things didn't work out. But the month passed so fast and he was so in love, I was afraid to break his heart. In summary, the whole entire relationship (almost two years!) I had a feeling that it was wrong. We had happy times together, even when my dad was called to be a mission president very very far away from home, he would visit me and loved me even more and more and told me and my dad about his plans on asking me to marry him. I didn't want to marry him. I prayed Heavenly Father to make me feel love for him and security, I really wanted to feel it, because he was cute, he was such a good man and he loved me! . Still, all I could feel was stupor of thoughts after my prayers. It was so confusing.

One day he called me and said his loving words as usual and after we hung up, I had a strong feeling. "This guy is going to change you. He is going to change you for someone else and will break your heart". One guy had cheated on me before, and the current feeling was exactly the same. A few months later he did it. And he broke my heart. I was devastated. I had been warned since our first date 2 years ago, I guess. But I didn't trust that feeling and now I regret it because my heart and my feelings were messed up. I thought it was my fault for not marrying him when I had the chance. But the negative feeling was there since our first date! I guess he would have cheated on me at some point in our marriage.

Anyway, after that I felt like he was the one that Heavenly Father prepared for me and that I had wasted the chance. I wanted him to come back even when I didn't really want to marry him. I just thought he was the one that Heavenly Father wanted me to marry, and that now I wouldn't find anyone else because I didn't deserve it.

I have learned that God is not that bad! This guy you are talking about is not right for you. If you don't want him to be the one, then he's just not the one. Love that leads into eternal marriage is not like that. God wouldn't want you to be married with someone you don't really want. God is good and he wants you to be happy and feel what love is. Love is wonderful, love is magical. HE WAS NOT, HE IS NOT THE ONE. Don't let Satan make you think he is or he was. When you find the right one, you will feel right and happy. You won't have bad dreams, you won't be sad. Satan won't have the power to make you feel bad when you find the right one, because God is more powerful than him and the feeling that will come from God will be stronger and better. True love is stronger. JUST WAIT FOR THE RIGHT ONE :)

BYUtv - BYU Education Week - John G. Bytheway (2003) <---This will help a lot

Edited November 15, 2012 by nellyleyva92