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Rob0S

Temple Marriage or NOT?

WHAT DO U GUYS THINK??  

11 members have voted

  1. 1. WHAT DO U GUYS THINK??

    • Stay with it and figure it out?
      5
    • Dont do it because it will just come back to me later?
      2
    • Get more advice?
      4


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SO here is my story and im really seeking advice.. HELP

So I have been married for 1 yr not in the temple.. my wife and I have had problems and have been extremely close to divorce.. We go to church we met with our bishop and he wants to get us in temple prep classes and I am ok with that. BUT I am very very confused with the marriage.. I dont feel that my heart is 100% in it anymore.. I do love my wife and I would never want to hurt her and thats why I am soo confused on what to do.. What i dont want to happen is for us to get sealed and my heart not be 100% there still..

SOMEONE HELP ME OUT WITH SOME EDUCATED ADVICE I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT

adding info-

I realize there is alot of missing info here. kind of hard to post our whole relationship here..

BUT- our relationship problems have seemed to decrease. we still argue and bicker and each other almost everyday.. We dont hold good conversations anymore.. we want different things in life career wise now. I had to get a diff job and we have to move from st george to salt lake. we have alot of things that have not been taken care of... it really just seems like an interest thing.. i feel ive lost interest and attraction on some level.

But i love her family i couldnt wish for better inlaws. idk what else to say feel free to ask me other questions!

Edited by Rob0S

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Clearly not enough info here so take this for what it's worth. Depends on the kinds of problems you are having, are they fixable? are both of you fixing?

Going to the temple will not magically fix your problems. It will put you under greater covenant and obligation. Counseling and fix things (or at least get them to a point at which you are on the up hill and serious about it) first.

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Your poll questions are confusing. All I can add is that if you can't see your marriage lasting for even twenty years, it might be difficult imagining it lasting forever.

M.

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I think that outside of extreme issues (namely, abuse, adultery, and possibly addiction), any marriage deserves absolutely all of the effort you can give it. You married each other for a reason. Work it out.

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i think i am having feelings towards someone else.. not i think i do.. and idk what to do with them..

Deny yourself of all ungodliness. Dwelling on "feelings" toward someone who is not your wife while you are married is ungodly.

I don't know what the best thing for you to do is. No one here does. We cannot possibly give you advice on your marital troubles. But we can say with great confidence that you should not be married to one woman and dwelling on having "feelings" toward another.

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Stop doing whatever it is you're doing to feed your feelings for someone else. Don't spend time with her. Don't communicate with her electronically. Don't let yourself daydream about her. Cleave unto your wife, and no one else.

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i know i need to talk to someone.. thats why im seeking advice.. professional help would do me well as well..

i know its not the right thing to have feelings for someone else..

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Feelings for other people can sometimes happen, especially if you're not nurturing your marriage and on your guard against that. What matters is what you do when you realize the feelings are there, and what you need to do is starve them. Starve them to death. Feed your love for your wife.

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its not something that happened just recently.. Its been almost the entire marriage.. I always wonder if i made the right decision to get married.. and your right about nurturing the marriage and that is basically what has happened.. i have always worked a LOT.. maybe its an excuse of mine but my wife and i have never talked much while i was at work.. just when i got home at night and when i do get home its typically late and im tired.. that has caused lots of hurt and pain for her right there..

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its not something that happened just recently.. Its been almost the entire marriage.. I always wonder if i made the right decision to get married.. and your right about nurturing the marriage and that is basically what has happened.. i have always worked a LOT.. maybe its an excuse of mine but my wife and i have never talked much while i was at work.. just when i got home at night and when i do get home its typically late and im tired.. that has caused lots of hurt and pain for her right there..

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

The grass is not greener on the other side. The grass is greener on the side you water.

So sure... go leave your wife and go find another. My prediction is that you will find very very soon that happiness is not there either. Why? Because you have no idea what marriage means.

So. You seem to want advice from anonymous people providing very little info. With that to go on, I have one advice. Go search on lds.org every single General Conference article on what Marriage means. Read the Proclamation of the Family. Read the lesson manuals including Primary and Young Men manuals about Eternal Families.

Then go and get rid of all your excuses and love your wife.

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SO here is my story and im really seeking advice.. HELP

So I have been married for 1 yr not in the temple.. my wife and I have had problems and have been extremely close to divorce.. We go to church we met with our bishop and he wants to get us in temple prep classes and I am ok with that. BUT I am very very confused with the marriage.. I dont feel that my heart is 100% in it anymore.. I do love my wife and I would never want to hurt her and thats why I am soo confused on what to do.. What i dont want to happen is for us to get sealed and my heart not be 100% there still..

SOMEONE HELP ME OUT WITH SOME EDUCATED ADVICE I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT

adding info-

I realize there is alot of missing info here. kind of hard to post our whole relationship here..

BUT- our relationship problems have seemed to decrease. we still argue and bicker and each other almost everyday.. We dont hold good conversations anymore.. we want different things in life career wise now. I had to get a diff job and we have to move from st george to salt lake. we have alot of things that have not been taken care of... it really just seems like an interest thing.. i feel ive lost interest and attraction on some level.

But i love her family i couldnt wish for better inlaws. idk what else to say feel free to ask me other questions!

As Pres Uchdorft said "Stop it"

Seriously Stop fighting. When you serve your spouse you will find the love again.

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Listen to your gut instinct. Do not go through the motions (possibly making your way into the Temple) just to go through the motions if you aren't willing or don't want to change. What a mess that would be.

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