Sexual Feelings Towards My Fiance

[Backroads]

Don't overlook family culture. Ultimately the responsibility of teaching children about sex rests upon the parents and if they hold a particular perspective on the issue it'll tend to be communicated more forcefully than a couple lessons and conference talks a year will.

Indeed, that's very true.

To be honest, while I understand my parents have quite the respectable and healthy sex life, my pre-wedding sex talk also included statements of "men are just animals" and "it's kind of gross" and "it won't last that long". Thanks, Mom. Is that what you were told? Fortunately this was around the time my brother and his wife were having sex issues, so my mom was also encouraging of actually having it.

[Dravin]

Indeed, that's very true.

To be honest, while I understand my parents have quite the respectable and healthy sex life, my pre-wedding sex talk also included statements of "men are just animals" and "it's kind of gross" and "it won't last that long". Thanks, Mom. Is that what you were told? Fortunately this was around the time my brother and his wife were having sex issues, so my mom was also encouraging of actually having it.

Sounds like the iconic, "Lay back and think of England."

[Guest]

My talk wasn't any better. Just an offhand comment the night before my wedding of how terrifying that first look was for my mom. . . then a subject change.

[classylady]

I was raised in the church. I was never taught that sex was bad. And most of my LDS friends had a healthy attitude towards it too. I did have one girlfriend though, who was completely naive. When she was 16 years old, we (her friends) had to talk to her about the "facts of life". Her mother had told her that you could get pregnant by kissing. And she completely believed it. She was a cheerleader, and a cutie, so she was dating. I'm amazed at what parents teach their children. My mother didn't say much to me about sex, but it was never instilled in me that sex was dirty.

[Vort]

I was raised in the church. I was never taught that sex was bad. And most of my LDS friends had a healthy attitude towards it too. I did have one girlfriend though, who was completely naive. When she was 16 years old, we (her friends) had to talk to her about the "facts of life". Her mother had told her that you could get pregnant by kissing. And she completely believed it. She was a cheerleader, and a cutie, so she was dating. I'm amazed at what parents teach their children. My mother didn't say much to me about sex, but it was never instilled in me that sex was dirty.

My mother believed until the age of 18 that a couple could conceive by praying really hard. (I don't think her idea of prayer involved pregnancy-making activity, btw.)

[Vort]

My talk wasn't any better. Just an offhand comment the night before my wedding of how terrifying that first look was for my mom. . . then a subject change.

You know, this is not the kind of thing men like to hear.

[sonicsonicboom]

There's a difference between feeling attracted and imagining sex with someone who isn't yet your wife - make sure you control your thoughts if it's the latter! As that is sin. But not enough sin to confess to the Bishop.

:)

[Backroads]

You know, this is not the kind of thing men like to hear.

From The Gilmore Girls

Mrs. Kim: Then you will be expected to share a bed tonight and when you are in that bed you have to do it with this boy. You're just going to have to do it. Hopefully if you're lucky like me you'll only have to do it once.

[bluedreams]

So my fiance and I have both admitted to having sexual feelings for one another.

Congratulations! You're both human

Do these strong emotions make us unworthy of being married in the temple?

No.

Do we need to talk to the bishop about this?

No. Just keep good boundaries, don't focus on them, don't freak out when a few come to mind, and you'll be fine.

with luv,

BD

[ADoyle90815]

Congratulations! You're both human

No.

No. Just keep good boundaries, don't focus on them, don't freak out when a few come to mind, and you'll be fine.

with luv,

BD

I agree, it just makes you human. If you think it might be an issue, maybe you should move your wedding date closer, or if you feel like eloping, Las Vegas has a LDS temple.

[C_T_R]

So my fiance and I have both admitted to having sexual feelings for one another. I think it's good to obviously have physical attraction towards the person you marry, but we both feel bad when we have those lustful feelings. Do these strong emotions make us unworthy of being married in the temple? Do we need to talk to the bishop about this?

Part of me feels like almost every couple who's been married in the temple has had similar feelings at some point in time. But I absolutely don't want to justify sin in any degree; I just want to make sure that we're both worthy of such a great and marvelous covenant. Just for the record, we don't make-out, or get involved in petting, or anything passionate like that... and Pornography and mb isn't an issue at all. Our kisses are usually brief around 2-4 seconds. But we sometimes do get those lustful feelings and I don't know if that's breaking the law of chastity or not. We want to make sure that we're absolutely worthy of a temple marriage. So any suggestions would be greatly appreciated on how to maintain the worthiness. Thank you!

I think there's a big difference between lust, and sexual attraction to someone you're in love with and about to commit to eternally. That's what those feelings are intended for.. and using them in that capacity will bring you both fulfillment that lust never could come close to.

My advice is to look at her as your bride; your best friend; the person you want to grow old with and progress with after this life. You've held out this long! Just a leeeeetle longer! You can doo eeet.

[x1134x]

You will be married and free to have sex before you know it. Get to know other parts of each other now. Forge new activities you'll end up doing together for the rest of your life. Your new toy becomes your old boring toy soon enough right? Other than sex, children and grandchildren, there's not as many new experiences in life once you get older. Don't ruin them by being over-eager.

I would not marry a person who was not sexually attracted to me, neither should you.