Disturbing But True...

[pushka]

I've just finished reading 2 books...the first was written by the mother of British actress Martine McCutcheon. It was focused upon her childhood in East End of London from the 1950's till the 1970's. In it she documents the severe circumstances in which she was brought up with her brothers and sisters.

Her father was domineering towards her mother, and beat her regularly. He also beat his children, kept them starving whilst he ate all the food in the house, and refused to let them indoors whilst he was around. The children were also neglected by their mother, a woman who the author now believes must have been suffering from some sort of learning difficulties as she never learned how to keep house or cook or read properly. She never admitted to being aware of the sexual abuse which took place in her daughters' bedroom.

The only escape for the children was to go and stay with Auntie, the aunty of their mother who took her in as a child when her mother died giving birth to her. This lady was completely the opposite of the children's parents...she kept a clean home, she prayed with the children at bedtime and washed and clothed them in the best she could purchase.

This book is called 'Behind Closed Doors' by Jenny Tomlin. It was published in paperback by Hodder and Stoughton in 2005 ISBN 0 340 83792 6

Although very difficult to read, as the cruelty of the father is so unbelievable, it is yet a really good account of the working class families of the 50's, 60's and 70's, and the problems that they had to cope with in slum districts in the East End of London.

The 2nd book I read is called 'The Little Prisoner' by Jane Elliott. It was published in paperback by Harper element in 2005, ISBN 0 00 720893 6.

In this true story, the author was returned to her mother and her step-father, after being in care, when she was 4 years old. She cannot recall for what reason she was originally placed in care with her brother Jimmy. Social services somehow lost all of her records.

She was victimised, abused both physically and sexually and treated like a slave by her step-father. This abuse and torture continued until she was well into her twenties, her father having controlled her relationships with her boyfriends and having forced her to split up with them when things were getting serious. He tried to control the child who she gave birth to by one of her boyfriends, and stalked her house and that of her boyfriend and his parents when she finally stood up to him and involved the police in having him arrested and brought to trial for his actions.

Again, the abuse in this book is despicable...it is hard to imagine what she and her brothers went through for all those years.

My reviews may not be very good, but I just had to speak up about this issue and the problems that some families have had in stopping the abuse, the apparent lack of interest by the Police and Social Services at the time that these abuses took place, and the consequences of it.

[Jason]

Kind of depressing reads huh Michelle?

[BenRaines]

I am interested in knowing what redeeming value came from reading those books? Please don't misunderstand I am not trying to be judgemental. I like to read things that are uplifting. Some of my most favorite recently are Mitch Albom's books on "The Five People you meet in Heaven" and "Tuesdays with Morrie" I now have his book "Just one more day" to read.

I am also reading a book on the history of the Phonecians and another on The Coming Anarchy.

After ten years in law enforcement I have seen and read all I want to on abuse. Unfortunately police officers are required to follow the law also and can only enforce what the courts will support.

Ben Raines

[pushka]

Hi Jason and Ben..thanks for your replies.

Yes, they are quite depressing unfortunately..I'm afraid that I do have quite an obsession with morbidity in all genres...

Ben, it is difficult to find anything uplifting in books such as the ones I mentioned, however I am pleased that these books are being written in order to inform the world of what goes on behind some closed doors, and that, as a result of reading them, some people who were previously afraid to tell what abuses they had suffered, and at who's hand, are now able to find justice by reporting their particular abuser, and therefore prevent that person from abusing anybody else...

I do read other books, and I do enjoy uplifting works too..I'm sorry if this thread is depressing, however...

[babygirl]

those books remind me of the book "a child called it" also about an abused little boy very sad and disturbing to read what this mother did to her son.

[pushka]

The 2nd book I read was inspired by the author having read the David Pelzer books...she said they gave her the courage to tell her own story.

[Gwen]

I am interested in knowing what redeeming value came from reading those books?

sounds like a question my husband would ask. lol i agree those kinds of books are not for everyone and unless the author is telling how and what they overcame i think there is little redeeming value. and for many there is no value even then. my mom read a lot of those kinds of books and at first i didn't understand it. then she started writing (as theapy, though she could publish) and i came across some of her work. she had a childhood like few others, as she was dealing with it and overcoming it she found those kinds of books helpful, to let her know she was not alone, that it could be overcome, and some helpful ways to overcome. for her it was hopeful not depressing, gave a light at the end of the tunnel, because she was not alone she could face her demons. she new that she could become a "normal" person just as these ppl had. so though not for everyone there is redeeming value in it for some.

[pushka]

Almom, thanks for your post. You said what I was trying to say, but I sometimes struggle to find the correct way of wording things these days.

[shanstress70]

Ugh, I'm with Ben and Jason... I cry on a daily basis when I read the news and see what happens to children. I don't need anything else that brings me down. Sometimes I'll find myself watching news shows about stuff like that and I catch myself and quickly turn the channel, thinking, "Why do I wanna watch that? I can't do anything to help them."

[pushka]

Hi Shanstress. I'm sorry I didn't realised you'd posted here sooner.

I do understand your attitude towards the issue of child abuse, and how you feel that you cannot help so therefore prefer not to read about/watch programmes about the issue. I don't read these stories for any strange pleasure...I come from a family where abuses have taken place, so I suppose I do feel some sort of link to the writers.

I think, if anything, the writers are trying to help themselves and others who have suffered abuse, by writing about it, and opening the world's ears to what does go on around them...maybe if you suspected somebody you knew was being abused, by having read similar accounts of the kind of behaviour that abused people sometimes show, you could recognise them and be able to at least offer a shoulder to cry on, or even be of practical help in some way, of helping the person get away from their abuser...of course this is a very difficult thing to do, and I wouldn't judge anybody for not wanting to get involved.

Ben, I just want to come back to a comment that you made, which I didn't respond to before...I didn't fully take in what you were saying:

'Unfortunately police officers are required to follow the law also and can only enforce what the courts will support.'

I agree that this is true, and am not criticising the way that police handle most cases. The cases I was talking about took place in the 60's and 70's in England, the attitude of the police/social services and other authorities towards children, at that time, left much to be desired...I am pleased to see that attitudes and response to abuse, domestic or otherwise, have much improved now...I would say that these kinds of autobiographies have helped to make those improvements.