Stop treating them like monsters.

[beefche]

Who are we supposed to not be treating like monsters?

Lady Gaga fans.

[Vort]

I know! Who are we supposed to not be treating like monsters? Minor attracted children, or filipinos, or americans? I'm so confused now!

As far as I have been able to determine, "treating someone like a monster" means to treat them with respect and forbearance, while simultaneously trying to make sure they don't hurt anyone you care about. So it sounds like we're supposed to treat everyone like monsters.

[Guest]

[Backroads]

I'm confused... are we not supposed to call pam a monster? Or is pam at fault for calling us monsters?

[Windseeker]

Monster status only applies to those who actually eat your legs off, if they control their raging desire to eat your legs off then they deserve respect.

Edited September 26, 2012 by Windseeker

[Windseeker]

Monster status only applies to those who actually eat your legs off, if they control their raging desire to eat your legs off then they deserve respect.

[prisonchaplain]

I do find it sad that we have become so standoffish in American culture. It was in the early 70s, and I was in elementary school. It seemed like it happened on a particular day--it was no longer okay to hold hands 'cause that meant you were homosexual. I'm not even sure we fully knew what it all meant...but it was wierd and icky now to show much affection to our friends.

Flash forward about 15 years. I'm in Korea, and a local has been accused of molesting an American military family's boy. What he did was something normal and casual in Korean culture (no touching involved), but, of course, voyeuristic and child-molestationish in our phobic American culture.

At the time I remember thinking that the Korean had acted foolishly, but out of ignorance of our culture. He was not prosecuted--just fired from his military base job.

Snuggling has become forbidden in most American cultures for tween and teen boys--mostly because we fear our children will become gay. Sadly, Spencer's story will reinforce our fears.

For all my sadness about how distant we are becoming, I remember what one poster said recently here, on another string. "I wish my parents had been more knowledgeable of predators when I was a kid." So, our fears are not without some basis in reality. We live in a sin-sick world, and have chosen to be safe rather than open with our affection.

Likewise, I fear we will simply demonize the Spencers of this world in order to avoid any appearance of accepting that nature plays a role in sexual deviance. In some cases we will fail our struggling, weaker bretheren, in order to show no hint of exonerating molestors.

Sin is sin, and I prefer clear contrasts between good and evil, to the moral grayness and uncertainty of popular culture. However, in my desire for clarity, I hope I will offer the kind of grace and forgiveness that Jesus tended to extend, rather than dismissing sinners in my efforts to extol righteousness.

[Just_A_Guy]

Monster status only applies to those who actually eat your legs off, if they control their raging desire to eat your legs off then they deserve respect.

But Farquaad didn't actually eat the leg; he ground it up with his fingers. (The other was preserved until it could be surgically re-attached with icing.)

Ergo . . . the gingerbread man was wrong, and Farquaad wasn't really a monster?

[Guest]

But Farquaad didn't actually eat the leg; he ground it up with his fingers. (The other was preserved until it could be surgically re-attached with icing.)

Ergo . . . the gingerbread man was wrong, and Farquaad wasn't really a monster?

Spoken like a lawyer.

[Guest]

Anatess, with all due respect, the reason some of us take offense every time you bring up Filipino culture is because in the same sentence, paragraph, or post you also put down American culture. Often your words place Filipino culture as preferable to American. Often your words tell us that we couldn't possible have the same experiences as you did because we are American. Yet in the next breath you say we're all human.

That's why.

Your own arguments answer the validity question.

There are things that are different by virtue of culture. There are things that are the same by virtue of us all being human. For example:

Deacons passing the sacrament in White Shirts with Ties. Sure, American LDS people are more inclined to think that's required. In the Philippines, they may be more inclined to think it's not required (okay, disclaimer - I don't know this for a fact - I've only been to the LDS Church twice in the Philippines, and both times the deacons were not all wearing white. And nobody wore ties. One deacon was even wearing shorts.).

But, both Filipinos and Americans are all required to bless and pass the sacrament in the same manner by virtue of them being members of the LDS Church.

Do you see the difference?

Personally, there are things that I find preferable in Filipino culture. Divorce is illegal. That's one. Abortion is illegal, that's two. Filipino families are closer because they rely more on each other - there's no government welfare. Welfare is handled by charitable institutions. There's a lot more. It is okay to express this preference. It doesn't mean I'm racist.

Edited September 26, 2012 by anatess

[Dravin]

Monster status only applies to those who actually eat your legs off, if they control their raging desire to eat your legs off then they deserve respect.

So the real monster is:

[Vort]

For shame, Dravin. It's after Labor Day.

[NeuroTypical]

As far as I have been able to determine, "treating someone like a monster" means to treat them with respect and forbearance, while simultaneously trying to make sure they don't hurt anyone you care about. So it sounds like we're supposed to treat everyone like monsters.

I think you missed the part about me giving someone who show up on my doorstep unannounced until the count of three before I start shooting. Maybe at some point in my life that will be how I treat everyone, but for now, I'd reserve that treatment only for monsters.

Remember, in that Midgley story, he was leaving society to visit them, they were not entering society to visit him. Similar to the controlled conditions present when humans interact with Komodo dragons or male lions.

I do my best to treat everyone with love. I do my best to treat the monsters I'm associated with love, while simultaneously protecting innocents from the real threat of harm posed by these folks.

Does that make a bit more sense? I mean, I'm not expecting agreement here, but understanding would be nice.

[Wingnut]

But Farquaad didn't actually eat the leg; he ground it up with his fingers. (The other was preserved until it could be surgically re-attached with icing.)

Ergo . . . the gingerbread man was wrong, and Farquaad wasn't really a monster?

We need a :threadcompletelydevolved: emoticon.

[Dravin]

We need a :threadcompletelydevolved: emoticon.

[applepansy]

There are things that are different by virtue of culture. There are things that are the same by virtue of us all being human. For example:

Deacons passing the sacrament in White Shirts with Ties. Sure, American LDS people are more inclined to think that's required. In the Philippines, they may be more inclined to think it's not required (okay, disclaimer - I don't know this for a fact - I've only been to the LDS Church twice in the Philippines, and both times the deacons were not all wearing white. And nobody wore ties. One deacon was even wearing shorts.).

But, both Filipinos and Americans are all required to bless and pass the sacrament in the same manner by virtue of them being members of the LDS Church.

Do you see the difference?

Personally, there are things that I find preferable in Filipino culture. Divorce is illegal. That's one. Abortion is illegal, that's two. Filipino families are closer because they rely more on each other - there's no government welfare. Welfare is handled by charitable institutions. There's a lot more. It is okay to express this preference. It doesn't mean I'm racist.

I agree, you're not a racist. And neither are we.

I explained why people are offended. Now you know.

No I don't see the difference because in my ward in the mountains of Utah, if deacon forgets to wear a white shirt and tie, doesn't excuse him from his priesthood duties. Shorts to bless the Sacrament...yup, seen that too. You use examples of differences that aren't real and you use them to imply the Filipino way is better.

Wow... you just did it again (see bolded). Anatess, I love your viewpoint on a lot of things but you often speak about Americans and American culture from a place of ignorance. And when you do so it is to denigrate American society, which you don't have the full picture of.

So... Please. In the future qualify your statements because not all Americans are what you think of them.

[Guest]

I agree, you're not a racist. And neither are we.

I explained why people are offended. Now you know.

No I don't see the difference because in my ward in the mountains of Utah, if deacon forgets to wear a white shirt and tie, doesn't excuse him from his priesthood duties. Shorts to bless the Sacrament...yup, seen that too. You use examples of differences that aren't real and you use them to imply the Filipino way is better.

Wow... you just did it again (see bolded). Anatess, I love your viewpoint on a lot of things but you often speak about Americans and American culture from a place of ignorance. And when you do so it is to denigrate American society, which you don't have the full picture of.

So... Please. In the future qualify your statements because not all Americans are what you think of them.

I've lived in America for 20 years across States spanning from the west coast all the way to the east coast and from the Canada border to the Mexican border. My husband is American. I'm raising a family in the American society. It's pretty wierd being told I don't have the full American picture.

Do I say ALL Americans? No. It's a generalization which is cultural in nature. Filipinos are closer to their families. That is a cultural statement. Not a specific to you statement. When an American political candidate says things like "College graduates should not have to live out their 20s in their childhood bedrooms wondering when they can move out and get going with life." it's an example of that difference in culture that points to the closeness of families. You can't say that speech in the Philippines because it won't make sense. But, it doesn't mean that the political candidate is denigrating you because your son is living at home.

There is a thread on lds.net debating the white shirt and tie. It is obvious to me that most American LDS members believe white shirt and tie is the acceptable dress code for deacons passing the sacrament. Forgetting your tie does not change that. The dress code in the Philippines is different (I don't know this for a fact, I'm just using this as an example because White Shirt and Tie is not Filipino just like the Barong Tagalog is not American).

Now, I'm still wondering how my statement that Eowyn took offense with showed any Filipino superiority complex.

[BrendaM]

I think you're misunderstanding the statement. The quote you picked is a statement that the person did not choose to be attracted to children. Any action on that attraction is recognized as a choice in this article, and soundly condemned.

Likewise, in the adultery example you give, the man may not have chosen to be attracted to the woman, but he did choose to allow that attraction to expand and then to act on that attraction.

At least that's how I read it. Do you feel that all of our attractions are choices?

I work in the criminal justice system...it's horrible what people do to children. And absolutely, they are cognisant choices these perverts make.

[Just_A_Guy]

Spoken like a lawyer.

There's no need for personal attacks, Eowyn.

[Vort]

There's no need for personal attacks, Eowyn.

Will someone let me know when there is a need for personal attacks, so that I don't miss out?

[Guest]

There's no need for personal attacks, Eowyn.

Maybe it was a compliment.

I guess we'll never know.

[john doe]

Okay guys, let's try to get along.

[Dravin]

Will someone let me know when there is a need for personal attacks, so that I don't miss out?

12/12/2121 @ 12:21pm.

[Soulsearcher]

while it might be a little late, i wanted to make a bit of a comment. In general in North america it's not normal for young boys to sleep cuddled up and embracing each other, heck it's not seen as normal for them to really show much physical affection together at all even if it's innocent and just for comfort or other mundane reasons. The term for boys who do this is "sissy" or another not so nice word i get from time to time. I used to be a very huggy and physical child. I was pulled aside many times and told " people will think you are gay or a "not so nice word"" if you keep that up, keep your hands and feelings to yourself" and this came from every part of society and i've seen and heard it many times over. Have i seen cultures where it's not so,yes i have, but it's been a rare case that i've seen or heard of it in north america.

[pam]

Wait a gosh darn minute. I'm taking this comment VERY personal.