Misshalfway Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 If I celebrate Halloween like all good mothers do, then I will have to decorate my house. And if I decorate my house, then I'll have to go down to the basement to get all the decorations. And if I go down to the basement, I'll see what a mess it is and feel guilt for not cleaning it sooner. And if I feel that guilt, Then I'll probably remember the embarrassment I felt last week when I had to take the plummer to the basement and he saw the mess. And if I feel embarrassment, then I'll have to medicate that by eating cake. And if I eat the cake, I'll gain back the weight I just lost. And if I gain back the weight, I'll feel like a schlub. And I hate feeling like a schlub! You see....we just shouldn't have Halloween. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 I can think of a few other holidays that would fit. How about we just skip from October 30th to January 2nd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking_peace Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 ..But, if you celebrate Halloween, it will prevent the cycle at Christmas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mahone Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 Meh. We never seem to celebrate Halloween in this city anymore - the last time I had trick or treaters was about 5 years ago when I was on holiday out in the country. I miss giving chocolate dipped sprouts to the kids as they come knocking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted September 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 Chocolate dipped sprouts? Well....that sounds scary. Which would be appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mahone Posted September 28, 2012 Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 Chocolate dipped sprouts?Well....that sounds scary. Which would be appropriate.Lol, well it was actually appropriate as they spat on our door before I had handed them out. I guess they thought it was trick AND treat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted September 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 28, 2012 Oh Halloween is all about tricks and treats. You see....here in Utah we have to celebrate it because there's like a million and a half decorator, cutie home stuff stores. And if you are a girl....you have to go in! It's not a choice. And then you have to buy the cute wooden candy corn and the goofy metal pumpkin headed scarecrow. And then you have to go home and put it on your mantle so you don't feel guilty about all the money you just spent at Tai Pan! And you have to do this every year! Enough is never enough, don't cha know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirkwood Posted September 29, 2012 Report Share Posted September 29, 2012 Celebrate Halloween. Cancel Thanksgiving and have a Halloween turkey. Cancel Christmas and have Halloween presents!!Zombie Bob joins us each Halloween!!!People started to talk about Christmas wayyyyy to early last year (like back in September). My response was to put up this deocration on December 1st.Zombie Bob likes Christmas too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted September 29, 2012 Report Share Posted September 29, 2012 Oh Halloween is all about tricks and treats.You see....here in Utah we have to celebrate it because there's like a million and a half decorator, cutie home stuff stores. And if you are a girl....you have to go in! It's not a choice. And then you have to buy the cute wooden candy corn and the goofy metal pumpkin headed scarecrow. And then you have to go home and put it on your mantle so you don't feel guilty about all the money you just spent at Tai Pan! And you have to do this every year! Enough is never enough, don't cha know.I guess I missed the memo. Really, I don't do that. IF I have a child under 12 who wants a Jack-o-lantern we make one but that's the extent of my halloween decorations.I used to do awesome stage makeup on my kids instead of costumes though. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted September 29, 2012 Report Share Posted September 29, 2012 ..But, if you celebrate Halloween, it will prevent the cycle at Christmas!It does? How? Please share. I need to cycle of holiday abuse to stop. :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted September 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2012 Well, I guess I have to celebrate Halloween. Cuz then I'll feel the guilt that will force me to clean the basement. With Christmas being the orgy of greed.....I'm going to need the shelf space for all the new stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy_do46 Posted September 30, 2012 Report Share Posted September 30, 2012 Oh, what a tangled web we weave. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackmarch Posted October 1, 2012 Report Share Posted October 1, 2012 If I celebrate Halloween like all good mothers do,then I will have to decorate my house.And if I decorate my house,then I'll have to go down to the basement to get all the decorations.And if I go down to the basement,I'll see what a mess it is and feel guilt for not cleaning it sooner.And if I feel that guilt,Then I'll probably remember the embarrassment I felt last week when I had to take the plummer to the basement and he saw the mess.And if I feel embarrassment,then I'll have to medicate that by eating cake.And if I eat the cake,I'll gain back the weight I just lost.And if I gain back the weight,I'll feel like a schlub. And I hate feeling like a schlub!You see....we just shouldn't have Halloween.this is what children are good forAt least my mom was good at delegating all the above lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted October 2, 2012 Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 If I celebrate Halloween like all good mothers do,then I will have to decorate my house.And if I decorate my house,then I'll have to go down to the basement to get all the decorations.And if I go down to the basement,I'll see what a mess it is and feel guilt for not cleaning it sooner.And if I feel that guilt,Then I'll probably remember the embarrassment I felt last week when I had to take the plummer to the basement and he saw the mess.And if I feel embarrassment,then I'll have to medicate that by eating cake.And if I eat the cake,I'll gain back the weight I just lost.And if I gain back the weight,I'll feel like a schlub. And I hate feeling like a schlub!You see....we just shouldn't have Halloween.I love those books! BTW, just pretend you think Halloween is a satanic holiday, and say you refuse to honor it on spiritual grounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted October 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2012 Can I refuse to clean the basement on spiritual grounds?? Or better yet....maybe all of you will make my christmas wish come true and do it for me. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahlia Posted October 3, 2012 Report Share Posted October 3, 2012 I've just set out all of my Harvest/Fall/Halloween decorations today. Fortunately I keep them in a bag in the garage, which I keep clean. I hate a messy garage. Sears makes shelves and Glad makes big plastic bags for a reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted October 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2012 dahlia, do they sell denial? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahlia Posted October 3, 2012 Report Share Posted October 3, 2012 dahlia, do they sell denial?Ha ha. I'm watching a hoarders rerun as I type. I hate stuff all over. I'm not a neat freak (my mother was like Felix Unger and I think I've rebelled a little), but I hate a mess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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