Polygamy in the afterlife?

[NeedleinA]

9 hours ago, TurboGirl said:

All I can hope for is the prophet doesn't pull a Jim Jones, and hope Amy doesn't have a feeling/dream/revelation that they need to leave this world, or stop contact with me or my brother.

Even prior to this comment, it was abundantly clear that your gospel understanding is unfortunately incredibly lacking and highly fragmented at best. Your above post simply solidifies for me my opinion of the whole situation. It strikes me as the careless immature response of a teenager that has lost an argument and has nothing intelligent left to say, stomping off and saying, "Well, oh yah, at least I'm not [insert any irrelevant physical feature] like you!".

@Carborendum said it, if you don't believe, then stop worrying about it. Move on and leave your dad and his happiness alone and focus on your own life instead, I would guess he would appreciate it too. 

 

Edited May 11, 2016 by NeedleinA

[Jane_Doe]

@TurboGirl

You seem quite loving and concerned for your dad- you must care for him deeply.  However, your concerns are based on misunderstanding of LDS beliefs (no offense- it's very easy to misunderstand another belief system).  If you want, we can explain things to you, but to do so properly would require a fair amount of time and listening on your part (the misunderstandings run deep).  Would you like to do that?

[zil]

10 hours ago, TurboGirl said:

I can't do anything about what has been done, just want to try to understand it, but I guess I never will.

IMO, your dad is the best one to help you understand (or try).  In the end, this was his choice.  Only he knows what he understood and why he did what he did.  (Though Vort points out some very good things to consider regarding what a man would be comfortable discussing with his daughter.)

10 hours ago, TurboGirl said:

All I can hope for is the prophet doesn't pull a Jim Jones, and hope Amy doesn't have a feeling/dream/revelation that they need to leave this world, or stop contact with me or my brother.

As previously addressed, the Jim Jones bit isn't gonna happen - that happens to cults with compounds and hundreds of people (or fewer), not to churches with millions of members scattered across the globe.  And the "stop contact" bit goes against everything we believe - family is central to God's plans for us - the church exists to help families return to God.  Love your dad, try to love your step mom, trust God to do right.

10 hours ago, Vort said:

...or painting one's toenails, or naked jello dancing, or eating live cockroaches, ...

Just to be perfectly clear, none of those things is a part of our religion (though some Mormons do paint their toenails).

 

And just to clarify terms (since they're not commonly used outside of some faith communities):

Apostatizing = going astray, leaving or denying the faith (no missions with this end in mind).  This isn't the word you meant to use.

Proselytizing = preaching with the intent to convert to one's faith.  This is the word you meant to use (the type of mission your dad apparently expressed interest in).

[Guest]

34 minutes ago, zil said:

Just to be perfectly clear, none of those things is a part of our religion (though some Mormons do paint their toenails).

You mean you don't do naked jello dancing.  You're missing out. .  Live cockroaches, not so much.  But the chocolate covered ones... mmm.  Oh, wait!  Did I say that out loud?

[zil]

11 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

You mean you don't do naked jello dancing.  You're missing out. .  Live cockroaches, not so much.  But the chocolate covered ones... mmm.  Oh, wait!  Did I say that out loud?

[TurboGirl]

3 hours ago, Carborendum said:

 If we have no special authority, then why would this bother you?

Maybe it's because my dad has become a completely different person over the year and half my mom has been gone. He went from being a happy member of the church, to being a person completely obsessed with his faith. He use to enjoy being around his grandkids, and talking to them about their plans about everything from work, school, or friends. Now he only talks to them about how they need to go to church, getting married and keeps asking my 12 yrs old if she wants to talk to the missionaries, to the point that she hides when he comes over. He only talks to me and my husband about how we need get married in the temple, and how we will miss out on our family if we don't. Anytime I am around his wife she brings up the some revelation/dream she has had about my mother.

But you are right, maybe I just need to give it up. There is no changing what has been done, and I'm starting to think I am driving myself crazy trying to understand and relate to them.

Sorry about the "Jim Jones" comment it was said in frustration. Most of you have been helpful, and some of you need to see when someone is asking real question because they don't understand, and they are not trying to be confrontational.

[zil]

15 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Maybe it's because my dad has become a completely different person over the year and half my mom has been gone. He went from being a happy member of the church, to being a person completely obsessed with his faith. He use to enjoy being around his grandkids, and talking to them about their plans about everything from work, school, or friends. Now he only talks to them about how they need to go to church, getting married and keeps asking my 12 yrs old if she wants to talk to the missionaries, to the point that she hides when he comes over. He only talks to me and my husband about how we need get married in the temple, and how we will miss out on our family if we don't. Anytime I am around his wife she brings up the some revelation/dream she has had about my mother.

IMO, you should have a serious, private conversation with your dad (possibly with his new wife, though maybe let him decide that) and tell him all that, and discuss what you can / can't accept by way of religious conversation.

Your dad is closer to the end of his mortality (than you) and is probably considering what is really important to him, and has decided that it's to spend eternity with his family, per his beliefs.  He may not understand that you and your kids find this overwhelming and he needs to back it off a bit, or change his approach, or something.  And he's not going to understand that unless you tell him.

Edited May 11, 2016 by zil
You > Your

[Vort]

Sounds like your dad is facing a few very large challenges: He is struggling with the loss of his wife and lifetime companion, he is trying to adjust to a new marriage relationship (huge task), and he is dealing with the ramifications of his religious beliefs -- which, from what you have said, he has not been particularly interested in throughout much of his life. Perhaps he now fears losing all that he held precious, and is trying to make up for years of neglect of religious things by a sudden, panicked burst of "conversion fever". If you think of your own life and important things you thought you had failed in, it's not too hard to imagine how this might go down with you. So have love and patience with your father, and teach your children to do the same. He will adjust to his new situation eventually.

(By the way, his efforts to teach his children and his grandchildren of the gospel of Jesus Christ as he understands it are noble and ultimately good. I say this as one who believes those things and finds them of great value. If you look past his desperation and understand what he's trying to say, you might just find a treasure trove for yourself and your family. Just a thought.)

[NeedleinA]

21 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Sorry about the "Jim Jones" comment it was said in frustration....some of you need to see when someone is asking real question because they don't understand, and they are not trying to be confrontational.

"Jim Jones comment" = "not trying to be confrontational"??

I believe everyone here is happy to help answer questions, that is in part why we are here. If someone tells us they hope the prophet doesn't tell us to all go commit suicide, well you have opened the gate for perhaps a little change in tone from a couple of us, speaking specifically for myself. If you are an adult (since your dad is 70), it is okay to pause and think before you say things like Jim Jones. Apology accepted. Done and done. 

I agree with both @zil and @Vort about your father trying to get things in order and perhaps make up for lost time.

Edited May 11, 2016 by NeedleinA

[estradling75]

13 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Maybe it's because my dad has become a completely different person over the year and half my mom has been gone. He went from being a happy member of the church, to being a person completely obsessed with his faith. He use to enjoy being around his grandkids, and talking to them about their plans about everything from work, school, or friends. Now he only talks to them about how they need to go to church, getting married and keeps asking my 12 yrs old if she wants to talk to the missionaries, to the point that she hides when he comes over. He only talks to me and my husband about how we need get married in the temple, and how we will miss out on our family if we don't. Anytime I am around his wife she brings up the some revelation/dream she has had about my mother.

 

So your father came face to face with his own mortally and had a change of heart about his prior actions...  This is not surprising and in fact in many way quite normal...

Do you know what would be very good for you to do right now?  Sit down and talk to your father.  Point out the differences in his behavior and how it is affecting you and his grand kids.  Everything points to him being fully concerned about you and your kids, even if he is not quite understanding how is actions are affecting you.  Chances are he will not go fully back to the way he was (life changing experiences, are by definition life changing) but he should alter or soften his approach

 

14 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

But you are right, maybe I just need to give it up. There is no changing what has been done, and I'm starting to think I am driving myself crazy trying to understand and relate to them.

 

Or maybe you should be an adult and have an adult conversation with your father.  Accept the fact that he is his own person and capable of understanding what he is doing church related things even if you don't.  And that he will also be able to understand your concern about the impact the changes in is behavior is having on you and your kids. Once you give him that information... rather then assuming he simply knows it.

 

27 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Sorry about the "Jim Jones" comment it was said in frustration. Most of you have been helpful, and some of you need to see when someone is asking real question because they don't understand, and they are not trying to be confrontational.

Frustration is understandable..  But communication is a two way street.  Which  mean you also played a role, in the confrontational style.  It would be very helpful that when you ask questions you listen to the answers you are given...  And if you don't understand an answer you ask for clarification rather then assuming the worst and attacking.

 

[tesuji]

49 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Sorry about the "Jim Jones" comment it was said in frustration. Most of you have been helpful, and some of you need to see when someone is asking real question because they don't understand, and they are not trying to be confrontational.

I didn't take your Jim Jones comment very seriously. I don't think you really meant it so seriously the way some people are taking it here.

The fact is, our society is paranoid about authority. Unfortunately, abuses of authority in recent history (Jones, Nixon, etc) has given us some cause to think that way. 

So whenever a prophet speaks, especially when he says something we don't like, it is a trial of our faith as modern people. I don't think the Lord wants us to blindly, unthinkingly,unprayerfully obey the prophet.

On the other hand, no Mormon prophet in my lifetime has told me to do anything even remotely outrageous. Every official pronouncement is made after unanimous agreement is reached by 15 of the wisest, most righteous men on the earth (the first presidency and 12 apostles). No they aren't perfect. But I trust them.

I don't expect polygamy will be reinstated in the church. I wouldn't worry. If it is, pray about it. Even when it was a thing, it was practiced mostly by a minority, among the church leaders.

Edited May 11, 2016 by tesuji

[Edspringer]

 

On 11/10/2012 at 1:59 PM, BusyB said:

My mom told me that we LDS members believe that the men will have several woman he's married to in heaven one day. Is this true? It seems so wrong if it is, and I don't understand it! I have been inactive since 17, so I never really learned too much of my own religion. I do believe it's true, but I just don't understand why I will have to share my husband one day in heaven.....?

Also, what about multiple marriages and being sealed more than once to different spouses?

Please give me trusted references to read up on this, if you can.

The answers to all our questions are in the scriptures.

Please read and ponder D&C 132 and if you are true to your question and desire to follow the Lord, the answers will come. 

[TurboGirl]

34 minutes ago, estradling75 said:

Or maybe you should be an adult and have an adult conversation with your father. 

First of all you don't know me, so don't assume anything about me. I have had conversations with my dad about how extreme his beliefs have gotten. My doubts and questions cause him too much pain and he gets to worked up, that is why I am trying to talk to people with no emotional connection to me.

Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be doing any good.

[NeedleinA]

3 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

@TurboGirl

You seem quite loving and concerned for your dad- you must care for him deeply.  However, your concerns are based on misunderstanding of LDS beliefs (no offense- it's very easy to misunderstand another belief system).  If you want, we can explain things to you, but to do so properly would require a fair amount of time and listening on your part (the misunderstandings run deep).  Would you like to do that?

 

8 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be doing any good.

Jane_Doe asked a great question. 

[estradling75]

2 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

First of all you don't know me, so don't assume anything about me. I have had conversations with my dad about how extreme his beliefs have gotten. My doubts and questions cause him too much pain and he gets to worked up, that is why I am trying to talk to people with no emotional connection to me.

Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be doing any good.

If you father can't talk to you... and strangers with no emotional connection can't talk to you maybe you should look to the common factor...  which is you.

We have answered your questions...  If you don't like the answer well that is on you...  If you don't understand the answers well there are plenty of people would will continue to answer and address you questions when you civilly point out what you don't get.  But this is a religion and it will eventually come back to us saying "Because this is what we believe God would have us do."

 

[TurboGirl]

4 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

@TurboGirl

You seem quite loving and concerned for your dad- you must care for him deeply.  However, your concerns are based on misunderstanding of LDS beliefs (no offense- it's very easy to misunderstand another belief system).  If you want, we can explain things to you, but to do so properly would require a fair amount of time and listening on your part (the misunderstandings run deep).  Would you like to do that?

Yes explain.

[TurboGirl]

Unrelated: but is there any way to delete post, not sure why it posted 3 times.

[estradling75]

3 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Yes explain.

Which ones?

You have asked many different questions...  You have been given many answers.  Which ones are you having a hard time with?

 

[TurboGirl]

1 minute ago, estradling75 said:

Which ones?

You have asked many different questions...  You have been given many answers.  Which ones are you having a hard time with?

 

I'd like to hear what Jane_Doe was going to say, that is why I "quoted" her. I've heard you, and you are taking everything I ask as confrontation.

[LeSellers]

6 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Unrelated: but is there any way to delete post, not sure why it posted 3 times.

The only thing I've found is to edit the post, delete all the content and make it say "Dup[licate]".

Moderators can do it, but it's not really worth the time. 

Notice it happens to all of us from time to time: even the ever patient estradling.

Lehi

[Jane_Doe]

3 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Yes explain.

Ok, I'll take this step by step, to make sure we can get/stay on the same page.

For starters, LDS believe that marriage is a GOOD thing- not just temporally for this life, but for the eternities.  Men & women were not meant to be alone, but to have companionship: and now greater joy & fulfillment can be found than in a righteous marriage.  I'm stressing the righteous part here, because obviously not all marriages in this life are righteous: there's abuse, addiction, personal sin, selfishness, adultery, just to name a few.  A righteous marriage is one where both the man and woman are disciples of Christ and follow His ways, both as individuals and then as a couple.

When a man and woman come to the house of the Lord (aka Temple) and make these promises to God, sealed with His priesthood, the Lord honors these promises and their marriage: not just for this life, but for the eternities.

Any questions thus far?

[TurboGirl]

No questions on that that is what my mom and dad did, and believe that would make it so they are together in the top tier of Heaven.

 

[estradling75]

1 hour ago, TurboGirl said:

No questions on that that is what my mom and dad did, and believe that would make it so they are together in the top tier of Heaven.

 

Then we need to expand on what they would know they needed to do to get there.

All the promises God makes an offers are conditional on us changing our nature to being Christ-like in addition to accepting the Ordinances.  The Ordinance of Sealing is different in that it involves two people, and both have to make it before they can claim the promise of being together.

This is basic stuff both your mom and dad would know.

Is this idea also clear to you?

Edited May 11, 2016 by estradling75

[Just_A_Guy]

20 minutes ago, LeSellers said:

The only thing I've found is to edit the post, delete all the content and make it say "Dup[licate]".

Moderators can do it, but it's not really worth the time. 

Notice it happens to all of us from time to time: even the ever patient estradling.

Lehi

Turbogirl, LeSellers speaks truth.    We just switched forum software not too long ago, and it's still glitchy at times.  I'm clearing out duplicates as I come across them; but it's a little hit or miss.

Edited May 11, 2016 by Just_A_Guy

[Jane_Doe]

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