deborashaw18 Posted October 29, 2012 Report Share Posted October 29, 2012 I am a mamber but iam currently disfellowshiped and my husband a new member for 2 months. we have martial problems that gotten bad. I have been crying out for help to the bishop but he has not given a referral to the lds family services and his only help is by a booklet to read and, or jail and my husband to work. My husband also has bipolar manic depression. so it gets him very abuseive now the arguemnets keeps esclading. the bishop also says oh the priesthood will help(no advice from priesthood yet only omplaints about their wifes nagging, following ect) and let my husband make his mistakes he will learn on his own. well he has not and I have escladed with my anger also. I am on emotional roller coster. Now the last resort is find the stake president number. Tags: Need Help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnn727 Posted October 29, 2012 Report Share Posted October 29, 2012 Have you asked him directly for a referral to LDS Social Services. In other words have you said "Bishop, will you give me a referral to LDS Social Services please?" (I assume there is one in your area) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted October 29, 2012 Report Share Posted October 29, 2012 Is it that he won't refer, or won't pay for counseling? You don't need anyone's approval to just call LDSSS and make an appointment with a counselor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SquidMom Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 I am worried most for your physical safety at the moment. You said he was manic depressive, abusive, and it's escalating. Did you mean verbally or physically? I hope that you have family or close friends in the area in case you need to get out of the house for awhile. If the bishop won't do it, definately call LDSSS on your own as soon as possible. Does he see some one for his depression, take meds? I'm sorry you are getting that attitude from the priesthood. I've met people like that, and it makes me sick. "Husbands are perfect, so it must be something you are doing. You're the little woman, so just put up with it until he straightens himself out." I think the priesthood, on the whole, is wonderful. Unfortunately, it's full of people. And some people are just jerks. I know in my brach the bishop and other members would be very different. Have you reached out to the relief society members? Do you feel you are being treated differently than if you were not currently disfellowshipped? Why is the bishop not counseling your husband himself? And what did you mean about jail? That was unclear, and really caught my attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 I am with SquidMom on this one. Your words "abusive" "escalating" and "jail" really stood out to me. I don't want to make any assumptions with the little information you've provided, but it sounds like you need to worry about your safety more than your bishop right now. Bishops do not receive training regarding abuse. If your husband is physically harming you, you need to call professionals. There is a national domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 Sounds like you two need to get away from each other and each go to counseling. I know a couple that kept trying to "work it out", but the violence went from grabbing, to slapping, shoving, and finally strangulation, which is a felony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 Sounds like you two need to get away from each other and each go to counseling. I know a couple that kept trying to "work it out", but the violence went from grabbing, to slapping, shoving, and finally strangulation, which is a felony.Only if it's non-consensual. Judo and BJJ are all about strangulation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 Only if it's non-consensual. Judo and BJJ are all about strangulation.For a second there I thought you were talking about me. I got all wide-eyed for a second before it clicked. I think I've become too familiar with my "nickname" here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 Only if it's non-consensual. Judo and BJJ are all about strangulation. Do they do it until someone pees their pants in Judo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 Do they do it until someone pees their pants in Judo?They're not supposed to. But if you don't tap out... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Do they do it until someone pees their pants in Judo?If the choke hold is executed correctly, there is no strangling. You're supposed to apply pressure to the aorta, not the trachea. A proper judo choke is painless, and the person could potentially pass out before even recognizing a need to tap out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SquidMom Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Okay, so I'm stupid. BJJ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Okay, so I'm stupid. BJJ? Brazilian jiu-jitsu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SquidMom Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Oh. Thanks. Haven't heard from deborashaw since her first posting. Hope she is ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 If the choke hold is executed correctly, there is no strangling. You're supposed to apply pressure to the aorta, not the trachea. A proper judo choke is painless, and the person could potentially pass out before even recognizing a need to tap out.1. Strangulation means stopping blood flow. People being "choked out" correctly can always breathe, but they just pass out from lack of blood to the brain.2. It's the lack of blood to the brain that makes people's muscles relax, leading to bladder voiding...or worse...3. My judo instructor used the blade of his forearm to do the so-called "rear naked" choke. You had better believe it cut off your trachea and breathing. More than a little bit painful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 1. Strangulation means stopping blood flow. People being "choked out" correctly can always breathe, but they just pass out from lack of blood to the brain.2. It's the lack of blood to the brain that makes people's muscles relax, leading to bladder voiding...or worse...3. My judo instructor used the blade of his forearm to do the so-called "rear naked" choke. You had better believe it cut off your trachea and breathing. More than a little bit painful.Ah, sorry. I was mixing up my definitions between "strangulation" and "suffocation". And I don't know if its the particular hold or the instructor, but my sensei demonstrated anything cutting off the trachea as the "wrong way" before he taught us any chokes. So, it's possible he just didn't approve of the ones that do cut off the trachea, or that other instructors aren't as careful about how they teach the holds.And I hope deborashaw is doing alright, too. I'm hoping the difficulties she's having aren't as bad as her post implied... It'd be nice to hear from her and get some clarification. If/when she checks this again, I just want her to know we're thinking about her and concerned about her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 3. My judo instructor used the blade of his forearm to do the so-called "rear naked" choke. You had better believe it cut off your trachea and breathing. More than a little bit painful.In BJJ, you don't use your forearm to do the rear naked choke. You position your elbow in line with his chin and then "pinch" the sides of the opponents neck with your forearm. This makes your opponent pass out in under 10 seconds (if the opponent doesn't tap out first) which ends the match.From what I understand the suffocation variation of the rear naked choke is a slower choke so you hope the opponent taps out for pain instead of dizziness. But then you know these MMA fighters - they can withstand a lot of pain. So, if you can position the forearm, it wouldn't take too much more effort to slide into the elbow to get a faster choke? I don't know. I just know they don't teach that method in BJJ (AFAIK).Hope deborashaw is ok too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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