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maleahstar

I want to stay single for the rest of my life...is there anything wrong with that?

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I am bisexual (but I do not act upon it) and have felt that for some reason it is best for me to remain single and celibate. Many people I have confided in say oh you are still young and will change your mind someday, but I get this strong feeling that in order to complete my personal mission here on earth that it is best to remain single and celibate. I want to learn how to love people in a more christlike way and not in a romantic or lustful way while still remaining celibate. Jesus was not married as far as we know...yet why do people single me out or judge me for not desiring not to be married? I can understand the plan of happiness and that eternal marriage is viewed as one of the highest goals in life. There is a passage in scripture that really comes to my mind when I say all of this...it's in the new testament.

1 Corinthians 7:34 I want to make a promise to the lord to serve him with all my heart and soul. To be able to get to that higher spiritual level to the point where i have that christlike love that i can have that unconditional love for everybody. I have spoken to my bishop about my feelings on this subject, but he strongly disagrees with me. I dream of someday serving the poor and offering comfort to the hopeless and depressed people because of what I have been through. I want to be able to give all of myself without having to worry about a husband and children. I sense a great sense of freedom and sacredness to my choice. I understand what some people will say oh you can find a husband that shares your goals, but to be honest I want to look at christ as symbolically as my spouse. I am not attacking any church doctrine here, but just wanted to share my feelings. My peers pressure me to go to the single's ward and date young men my age, but something doesn't feel right about it. If it were possible I would love to be sealed to christ as my husband for all eternity, but know that is not possible. he would make the greatest spouse ever ladies. :) Please understand I come from an orthodox christian background and this is how I we were taught lol. Anyone else feel this way?

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Please understand I come from an orthodox christian background and this is how I we were taught lol. Anyone else feel this way?

And this is why it feels so right to you as it has roots deep in your upbringing.

I believe that the reason we are commanded to marry is so that we can begin building our families on earth and prepare for the next life.

Moses 1:39

39 For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.

We are commanded to marry so that we can continue in our Father's business. But we have to be ready to inherit the family business and that takes training... an earthly apprenticeship, if you will.

Again, nothing wrong with what you want and feel that is right for you... it just won't lead to the highest glory that our Father has promised that is in store for us.

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There's nothing wrong with being single and celibate. But, I agree with the bishop that you shouldn't close yourself off to the possibility of meeting an eternal companion.

You can still love with Christlike love - as a matter of fact, we are commanded to love with Christlike love. You can still work towards the upliftment of the oppressed, help for the poor, comfort for the needy, etc. etc., even if you have a husband tagging along with you. As a matter of fact, a husband and children would be a great target for all that Christlike love and pure Charity.

I don't think it's a good idea to date, "look" for a husband, etc., if you're not inclined to do so. But these things can happen by chance encounter. That's really all that the bishop is saying - if that chance encounter ever happens, don't close yourself to it. Dedicating yourself to Christ does not necessitate that you exclude eternal families. So being single is good if an eternal companion does not appear in your horizon (for example, if homosexuality prevents you from one). But choosing to be single even when an eternal companion shows up on your doorstep is not so good.

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The way I see it, God expects us to follow certain steps to improve ourselves. One of the most important steps is Eternal Marriage and Procreation. God needs more righteous souls on the earth being brought up in righteous families in his kingdom. The blessings of spiritual enlightenment aren't achieved by independent personal meditation alone or just inner soul searching but by sacrifice of that which is easy replacing it with that which is worth it. Selflessness in marriage and parenting is the ultimate form of Christ like love that we are able to consciously choose and attempt to achieve and a huge step towards being capable of complete Christ like love(Charity) toward all people. Depending upon what type of personality you are attracted that type of person can and likely does exist in a male body. You just have to understand what that personality is and find it. It's not likely to be easy to find but I am sure your match exists at this time and in your age range somewhere.

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Marriage never scared me much though I feel very content alone (mind you that could change, who knows), having children does. I have a...great many mental illnesses that pass down from generation to generation...

Having children and knowing they will struggle, perhaps worse then I did- it seemed to skip a generation with my parents, I know I would never be anywhere near as good a father as mine is.

I donno... just don't think I could bring children into the world, knowing the awful things they might face, and be powerless to help...

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Marriage never scared me much though I feel very content alone (mind you that could change, who knows), having children does. I have a...great many mental illnesses that pass down from generation to generation...

Having children and knowing they will struggle, perhaps worse then I did- it seemed to skip a generation with my parents, I know I would never be anywhere near as good a father as mine is.

I donno... just don't think I could bring children into the world, knowing the awful things they might face, and be powerless to help...

I am sorry for your problems Lakumi. This is a tough call. Looking on it from a stance that has no experience with what you are dealing with, here is my perspective. Since coming to Earth is a choice made by each individual, I dont think you are doing anyone a favor by not having children. If satans followers would gladly take the body of a swine, I am sure a righteous spirit would gladly take a body with imperfections and pain. Again, my opinion.

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I am bisexual (but I do not act upon it) and have felt that for some reason it is best for me to remain single and celibate. Many people I have confided in say oh you are still young and will change your mind someday, but I get this strong feeling that in order to complete my personal mission here on earth that it is best to remain single and celibate. I want to learn how to love people in a more christlike way and not in a romantic or lustful way while still remaining celibate. Jesus was not married as far as we know...yet why do people single me out or judge me for not desiring not to be married? I can understand the plan of happiness and that eternal marriage is viewed as one of the highest goals in life. There is a passage in scripture that really comes to my mind when I say all of this...it's in the new testament.

1 Corinthians 7:34 I want to make a promise to the lord to serve him with all my heart and soul. To be able to get to that higher spiritual level to the point where i have that christlike love that i can have that unconditional love for everybody. I have spoken to my bishop about my feelings on this subject, but he strongly disagrees with me. I dream of someday serving the poor and offering comfort to the hopeless and depressed people because of what I have been through. I want to be able to give all of myself without having to worry about a husband and children. I sense a great sense of freedom and sacredness to my choice. I understand what some people will say oh you can find a husband that shares your goals, but to be honest I want to look at christ as symbolically as my spouse. I am not attacking any church doctrine here, but just wanted to share my feelings. My peers pressure me to go to the single's ward and date young men my age, but something doesn't feel right about it. If it were possible I would love to be sealed to christ as my husband for all eternity, but know that is not possible. he would make the greatest spouse ever ladies. :) Please understand I come from an orthodox christian background and this is how I we were taught lol. Anyone else feel this way?

I agree with others that maybe you should leave it open to the possibility, but not search. Unfortunately, you may always have someone pushing you towards a date or trying to fix what they know nothing about. As humans we are like that. Best of luck to you.

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I am sorry for your problems Lakumi. This is a tough call. Looking on it from a stance that has no experience with what you are dealing with, here is my perspective. Since coming to Earth is a choice made by each individual, I dont think you are doing anyone a favor by not having children. If satans followers would gladly take the body of a swine, I am sure a righteous spirit would gladly take a body with imperfections and pain. Again, my opinion.

really a pig?:o

I would think they'd take something more... I donno harmful like a tapeworm or the AIDS virus

unless swine means something different in this context

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I am sorry for your problems Lakumi. This is a tough call. Looking on it from a stance that has no experience with what you are dealing with, here is my perspective. Since coming to Earth is a choice made by each individual, I dont think you are doing anyone a favor by not having children. If satans followers would gladly take the body of a swine, I am sure a righteous spirit would gladly take a body with imperfections and pain. Again, my opinion.

makes sense for a "righteous spirit" but I don't think I have a righteous spirit, so why would I take a body with such imperfections?

Unless I knew someday I would take up a religion or something

and if that's true perhaps any children could know that too...

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D&C 131:1-4

1 In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;

2 And in order to obtain the highest, a man {or woman} must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage];

3 And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.

4 He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.

We have a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother, likewise in order to obtain all that the father hath, would not Christ need enter into those same covenants?

What if the best way you could serve him with all your heart and soul was to get married, have children, and raise them in righteousness? What if that's what he wants you to do? This is what he has counseled us through the Scriptures and His Prophets that we do.

1 Corinthians 11:11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

This decision you are considering making has lasting eternal repercussions and is no light matter.

President Thomas S. Monson during the Oct. 2004 conference talk "Whom Shall I Marry?" spoke much regarding the subject at hand and quoted Bruce R. McConkie in saying:

“The most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority.”

You've counseled with your Bishop, who has rights of stewardship to receive personal revelation regarding you, and you know his views. If you read the above talk you'll understand the views of the Prophets as well. The scriptures also confirm and witness to the same end as well.

So the question I have to you is... are you living the commandments of God so as to be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost and personal revelation? If so, have you prayed and received a witness from the Lord that your will to remain single and never marry is approved by him? Have you obtained in worthiness a patriarchal blessing?

D&C 46:7 But ye are commanded in all things to ask of God, who giveth liberally; and that which the Spirit testifies unto you even so I would that ye should do in all holiness of heart, walking uprightly before me, considering the end of your salvation, doing all things with prayer and thanksgiving, that ye may not be seduced by evil spirits, or doctrines of devils, or the commandments of men; for some are of men, and others of devils.

Dear Sister Lakumi, as to the fear of children, would your heart not have room to love the unloved and unwanted? What of adoption? As to passing on mental illness, could you not plead before the Lord like unto Hannah save it be to bless you with a child free from mental illness?

1 Samuel 1:9-11

9 So Hannah rose up after they had eaten in Shiloh, and after they had drunk. Now Eli the priest sat upon a seat by a post of the temple of the Lord.

10 And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore.

11 And she avowed a vow, and said, O Lord of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the Lord all the days of his life,

Psalm 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Sincerely,

Brother M.

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makes sense for a "righteous spirit" but I don't think I have a righteous spirit, so why would I take a body with such imperfections?

Unless I knew someday I would take up a religion or something

and if that's true perhaps any children could know that too...

I realize the whole theological background to his comments may be foreign to you, so to avoid getting into a theology lesson just understand that for his purposes and in the context of his statement you, and any possible children, fall under the label "righteous spirit".

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We have a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother, likewise in order to obtain all that the father hath, would not Christ need enter into those same covenants?

What if the best way you could serve him with all your heart and soul was to get married, have children, and raise them in righteousness? What if that's what he wants you to do? This is what he has counseled us through the Scriptures and His Prophets that we do.

This decision you are considering making has lasting eternal repercussions and is no light matter.

President Thomas S. Monson during the Oct. 2004 conference talk "Whom Shall I Marry?" spoke much regarding the subject at hand and quoted Bruce R. McConkie in saying:

You've counseled with your Bishop, who has rights of stewardship to receive personal revelation regarding you, and you know his views. If you read the above talk you'll understand the views of the Prophets as well. The scriptures also confirm and witness to the same end as well.

So the question I have to you is... are you living the commandments of God so as to be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost and personal revelation? If so, have you prayed and received a witness from the Lord that your will to remain single and never marry is approved by him? Have you obtained in worthiness a patriarchal blessing?

Dear Sister Lakumi, as to the fear of children, would your heart not have room to love the unloved and unwanted? What of adoption? As to passing on mental illness, could you not plead before the Lord like unto Hannah save it be to bless you with a child free from mental illness?

Sincerely,

Brother M.

I'm... not a girl:lol:

I suppose one could do that yes, I used to pray, though stopped when I was a teenager and, haven't felt right trying yet. Now, instead of being free of it, I only want to cope with what I have... It is who I am, as a child I didn't understand that.

If given the choice I would adopt before having my own, but I don't know if I could even handle children weither they were adopted or not. I have a hard time taking care of myself and I don't even live on my own.

I don't think I could be a good parent, and I think just because everyone can be a parent doesn't mean they should. There are a lot of wonderful parents out there (I have wonderful parents) and there are a lot of bad parents out there.

And I assumed the rest of your comment was for someone else, if it was for me then... I have a few more questions:lol:

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Originally Posted by Lakumi

makes sense for a "righteous spirit" but I don't think I have a righteous spirit, so why would I take a body with such imperfections?

Unless I knew someday I would take up a religion or something

and if that's true perhaps any children could know that too...

I realize the whole theological background to his comments may be foreign to you, so to avoid getting into a theology lesson just understand that for his purposes and in the context of his statement you, and any possible children, fall under the label "righteous spirit".

Yeah, sorry about that Lakumi. I need to learn to look at the mini profile on each person. ^_^ Thanks again Dravin for explaining my comments. You need to start charging me! :lol:

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I am bisexual (but I do not act upon it) and have felt that for some reason it is best for me to remain single and celibate. Many people I have confided in say oh you are still young and will change your mind someday, but I get this strong feeling that in order to complete my personal mission here on earth that it is best to remain single and celibate. I want to learn how to love people in a more christlike way and not in a romantic or lustful way while still remaining celibate. Jesus was not married as far as we know...yet why do people single me out or judge me for not desiring not to be married? I can understand the plan of happiness and that eternal marriage is viewed as one of the highest goals in life. There is a passage in scripture that really comes to my mind when I say all of this...it's in the new testament.

1 Corinthians 7:34 I want to make a promise to the lord to serve him with all my heart and soul. To be able to get to that higher spiritual level to the point where i have that christlike love that i can have that unconditional love for everybody. I have spoken to my bishop about my feelings on this subject, but he strongly disagrees with me. I dream of someday serving the poor and offering comfort to the hopeless and depressed people because of what I have been through. I want to be able to give all of myself without having to worry about a husband and children. I sense a great sense of freedom and sacredness to my choice. I understand what some people will say oh you can find a husband that shares your goals, but to be honest I want to look at christ as symbolically as my spouse. I am not attacking any church doctrine here, but just wanted to share my feelings. My peers pressure me to go to the single's ward and date young men my age, but something doesn't feel right about it. If it were possible I would love to be sealed to christ as my husband for all eternity, but know that is not possible. he would make the greatest spouse ever ladies. :) Please understand I come from an orthodox christian background and this is how I we were taught lol. Anyone else feel this way?

Marriage is given of God as a gift to us. We are under no obligations to accept God's gifts. But if we reject or refuse his gifts, we should not then complain about not receiving them.

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Yeah, sorry about that Lakumi. I need to learn to look at the mini profile on each person. ^_^ Thanks again Dravin for explaining my comments. You need to start charging me! :lol:

It happens a lot, "I ain't even mad":lol:

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